Sanji had been waiting for almost two hours now, and he was beyond pissed. Not only was he starving, but the ladies on the table next to his had noticed he'd been stood up. They kept glancing at him with pity and offering him sympathetic smiles.

At any other opportunity he would've been thrilled about receiving those ladies' smiles, but definitely not when it was out of pity! Besides, he was too mad at the green haired asshole that was making him look bad here to be happy about the ladies.

Three days ago, Sanji had met him. He'd been taking a smoke break outside the Baratie when someone suddenly ran into him, almost knocking him over.

"Oi, asshole! Fucking watch where you're going!" Sanji shouted angrily.

"Sorry," a deep voice rumbled.

Sanji looked up. A man was standing in front of him. He was wearing a police uniform, had… green hair, was about the same height as him, and appeared to be slightly out of breath. And - fuuuck, he was hot! Like, really, really hot. His obnoxiously green hair was messy, his cheeks flushed from running, and he had muscles everywhere, but they weren't the steroid induced kind of muscles that looked fake and about to burst any moment. No, this guy's muscles were real, and probably the result of hours of exhausting training. Very hot indeed, Sanji thought.

"You, uh, don't happen to have seen a guy running past this place, have you? Quite tall, red shirt, tattoos everywhere?" the police officer asked, looking hopeful.

"No, sorry." Sanji shrugged, "You wanna arrest him?"

The guy nodded. "Yeah. He robbed several people with a gun. We were chasing him, but somehow I lost him and ended up here. This happens a lot; it's almost as if the streets were moving. My colleagues make fun of me for it, they think I get lost, but of course that's not what happens," he mused.

"Hm, I dunno. That sounds pretty lost to me."

"No! Shut up! I'm not lost!"

Sanji grinned a little. "Whatever you say, officer. Tell me though, shouldn't you be trying to find that robber you're chasing instead of chatting?"

"Not much point in that, actually. Either my colleagues got him, or he's long gone anyway," the officer explained. "But, just in case you see him, here's my number to call me." He pulled a piece of paper from his pocket and scribbled his number onto it. Sanji didn't even have the chance to say anything before the paper was shoved into his hand and the guy ran off again.

Sanji had called him the very same evening, not giving a shit about any rules that said to not call someone within the first three days, or not calling them first, or blah blah blah.
Their conversation had been full of smooth flirting and implications, and by the end of the call they had agreed on having dinner on the next Friday.

So now Sanji was sitting at a table in a restaurant, waiting for a hot guy that apparently wasn't planning on showing up in the first place, looking like a pathetic moron who had been stood up - which was exactly what was happening, actually. Minus the moron part.

He had given the guy a generous amount of time; usually he wouldn't even have considered waiting for two hours. He wasn't that desperate, no way. But it seemed that this guy - Zoro, as he had learnt during their phone call - had a hilariously nonexistent sense of direction. Of course Zoro had hadn't told him directly, but during the call he had mentioned the robber he had been hunting, and for some reason the Baratie was in the opposite part of the city from where the robber had been seen. Zoro insisted that the streets moved, which had been hilarious enough for Sanji.

So, being the nice human being he was, Sanji had decided to give Zoro a little more time than what was normal, so the directionally challenged idiot had an actual chance to find the restaurant.

But enough was enough. He sure wasn't going to let himself be humiliated any further. He grabbed his wallet, threw the money for his drinks plus tip onto the table, took his jacket and stalked out of the restaurant without looking back, feeling the ladies' pitying looks in his back.

Outside, he pulled his phone from his pocket and hammered in Zoro's phone number angrily. That asshole wasn't going to get away just like that!

But of course the bastard didn't even answer. Apparently he was smart enough to keep himself away from Sanji at the moment. Good for him, but bad for Sanji, because it meant that he didn't have anyone to use as a punching bag, and that really sucked.

Still pissed, he kicked the streetlight next to him, leaving it slightly dented - okay, maybe more than just slightly. Then he pulled out a cigarette and his lighter. He really needed a smoke now.

Five days later, Sanji still hadn't heard anything from Zoro at all. He'd tried calling him a second time, the day after the failed date when he had calmed down. It was possible that there had been a misunderstanding after all.
But Zoro still hadn't answered. So, after hating the guy for a little longer, Sanji had decided to just fuck it and forget about the green haired asshole.

Needless to say Sanji was very surprised when his phone rang, showing Zoro's name on the display. Apparently Sanji had forgotten to delete the number.
For a moment, Sanji was too stunned to do anything other than starting at his phone in shock. When he finally moved to grab the buzzing thing, it stopped ringing the second he touched it. For a second or two it was silent, and then it started ringing and vibrating again. So the previous call had been deliberate after all; this guy really had the nerve to call him after not showing up for their date.

Sanji debated whether to pick up or ignore it, but to be honest he was kind of curious about Zoro's excuse. Plus, the thought of getting to yell at Zoro when he was listening was kind of tempting. The whole yelling thing somehow wasn't fun when it was just the voice mail after all.

Sanji picked up the phone, ready to start yelling, but before he managed to open his mouth, Zoro spoke.

"Yo, cook."

Sanji snorted in disbelief. "After making me wait at that shitty restaurant for ages, all you've got to say is 'yo'? Can't you think of anything better?" He already felt his anger rising again.

There was a moment of awkward silence, and Sanji could practically see Zoro scratching the back of his neck in embarrassment.
"Yeah, I, uh… I owe you an apology for that I guess," Zoro sighed guiltily, "Will you let me make up for it? Please? I'd really like to see you again, and- "

"How about you give me a fucking reason first, for not showing up and making me look like a fucking idiot?" Sanji demanded angrily. Unless Zoro came up with a damn good reason, he couldn't see himself wanting to meet the man again. "You didn't even pick up the phone when I tried to call you, let alone call me back. Well, until now. Tell me, why would I want to forgive you?"

"Yes, yes, I know, and I'm really sorry. I woke up from a coma a few hours ago, but they wouldn't let me make calls any sooner. Anyway I was thinking, if you wanna meet up again, movie date? The restaurant try didn't really turn out well, so maybe trying something else might be a good idea? Unless you'd want to do something else? We could- "

"Wait, you what?" Sanji interrupted Zoro's somewhat nervous sounding rambling.

"I, uh, I'd like to see you again?" Zoro tried.

"Not that, moron. The coma part. What the fuck?" If that was a cheap excuse, Zoro was damn good at making them up…

"Oh, yeah, I've been in a coma, now I'm not, so do you wanna meet me again, yes or no?" Zoro sounded impatient, but frankly, Sanji couldn't have cared less.

"What hospital are you in?" he asked curtly.

"The one close to that old church, but I don't see what-" Sanji cut him off effectively by ending the phone call. Kind of a dick move, now that he thought about it, but well, he needed to think. So, he'd actually picked up a guy who'd gone and put himself into a coma before they were supposed to go on a date. If he was telling the truth. But Sanji had the feeling that he had been honest indeed. Something about Zoro told him that if someone had this crazy sort of bad luck or whatever, then it was him.

So yeah, he was gonna believe Zoro. But what now? Asking Zoro about the hospital he was in had been more of a reflex. But… Zoro did want to see him again, right?

Sanji's hand hovered over his car keys for a second before he grabbed them. That way he could also make sure that Sanji really was telling the truth. Yep, sounded like a great plan. Hospital was it, then.

Good afternoon, my dearest," Sanji smiled at the lovely young lady at the desk, "Would you mind telling me if you've got anyone called Roronoa?"

The woman blushed heavily at Sanji's charming smile directed at her. "One minute, please. I'll look it up," she replied, visibly flustered by him.

She typed something into her computer, then after a few seconds a triumphant smile flashed across her face, which in a way was kind of morbid if you thought about it, because technically someone being in hospital wasn't something to be triumphant about. Uh, yeah. Focus.

"Yes, we've got someone. Roronoa Zoro?" the woman asked.

"Yep, exactly. That's him. May I go see him?" Sanji gave another bright smile, making the woman stutter out a breathless "Yes".

"Thank you, my flower," Sanji cooed.

Apparently Zoro really had told the truth, as unlikely as it had seemed. Sanji wondered what the hell Zoro had done to get himself into a coma though. Oh well, he was probably gonna find out in a few minutes anyway.

Room 205 the desk lady had said. Hm.

He strolled through the hallway, looking at the numbers attached to the doors. 199, 201, 203, 205. He stopped in front of the door, hand already at the doorknob, but he hesitated when he heard a voice from inside the rom. It sounded high and not very happy. At all. Quite angry, actually. Sanji guessed it was a woman. He looked at the doorknob for a moment, torn between going inside and… well, not going inside. Interrupting a conversation was rude - though it sounded less like a conversation and more like a one-sided lecture - but the thought of a lady being upset was more than Sanji could bear.

He knocked onto the door once, to keep at least some politeness, then opened the door, successfully making the woman go silent mid-sentence.

"Uh, hi. I'm sorry for interrupting," Sanji grinned awkwardly, suddenly feeling slightly self-conscious with both Zoro and the woman staring at him. Zoro looked surprised at him showing up like that.

"Uh, no, you aren't interrupting anything. Nami's just giving me a lecture that I've heard a hundred times already," he assured.

The woman, Nami, looked a little pissed off at this, but didn't say anything.

Sanji examined her a little closer. She was young, probably around his age, maybe a little younger. And she was pretty. Extremely pretty. And suddenly Sanji wasn't so sure if he wanted to be there anymore. What had he been thinking, just showing up like this? He didn't even really know Zoro! He didn't know if he was okay with him coming to the hospital! And seriously, how big was the chance of a guy like Zoro being single? What if…

"Oh, well then. Is this lovely lady here your girlfriend?" Sanji asked in what he sincerely hoped was a casual manner. What he didn't expect, however, was both Zoro and Nami breaking into laughter.

"What?" Sanji demanded, somewhat embarrassed by them laughing at him. "It's a normal question!"

Nami clutched Zoro's shoulder, pressing herself against him. "Of cooourse, he's my little honey bear," she cooed, her voice dripping with sweetness.

The look on Zoro's face was enough to cause her to collapse against Zoro's shoulder, laughing even harder than before. The poor man looked completely horrified, eyes wide and his entire expression showing how much he actually wanted to drop dead now. "Quit doing that!" he yelped, "That's creepy!"

Still laughing, Nami slid off Zoro. "Aww, come on, don't be like that! It was funny!"

"It wasn't. It was creepy," Zoro insisted, crossing his arms in front of his chest, and it was only now that Sanji noticed the cast on Zoro's right arm.

"I found it pretty funny," Nami shrugged, turning towards Sanji again. "To properly answer your question, no, we aren't dating, haven't ever been, and won't ever be. You see, if there's someone gayer than me, then that's Zoro," she explained.

"Oi, get your facts straight! You are clearly gayer than me! Don't think I haven't seen you ogling that blue haired nurse before!" Zoro argued.

"Well, for one," Nami grinned, "I can't get my facts straight because I am not straight." Her own joke sent her into another laughing fit, and she completely ignored Zoro complaining, "That didn't even make sense!"

"And besides," she added, "Have you actually seen her? She's gorgeous! Have you seen the way she smiles?"

Sanji thought he'd seen actually stars in her eyes, but that wasn't physically possible… was it? Either way, she was practically glowing.

Okay, so they weren't dating. Also, they were both gay. Well, of course Zoro liked men. He wouldn't have wanted to take him on a date if he didn't after all. But Sanji felt strangely relieved that Zoro wasn't dating Nami. It was stupid of course, he barely knew the man, but somehow the thought of Zoro lying to him about this hurt a little. It wasn't supposed to though; they weren't even dating, and they were barely involved with each other!

"I'm guessing you two have some talking to do," Nami cut off Sanji's thoughts. "So I'll leave you alone now. Sorry for making fun of you, Sanji, but the question was really funny." She walked up to him, extending her hand and offering an apologetic smile.

Sanji took her hand and returned the smile.

"It's no problem, my dear," he reassured her, and he wasn't lying. In fact, he felt quite stupid himself for asking such a question in the first place.

Nami pulled her hand back, picking up her bad from the chair next to the bed. "Kay, I'm leaving. Bye, Zoro, listen to the doctors. Bye Sanji, it was nice to meet you."

"Likewise. Have a nice day," Sanji replied politely.

Zoro didn't even bother answering her. Sanji would have kicked his ass for treating a lady like that, but right now he was too curious about what Zoro had done to put himself into a coma.

He sat down on the chair, stretching out his legs and crossing his arms in front of his chest.

"So, you wanted to talk, now I'm here. Hi. First of all, what the fuck? What the hell did you do?" Sanji exclaimed, not even trying to start a normal conversation like a normal human being.

Zoro laughed a little, but then he winced and stopped. "Heh. I'm surprised you're even here to be honest. Didn't expect you to talk to me again after being stood up by me. I'm really sorry about that, by the way."

Sanji shook his head. "Well, apparently not showing up wasn't your fault, so I don't really have a reason to be angry anymore. But I'd really like to know what you did to mess yourself up like this. I mean, a coma? That's tough shit you know."

"Yeah, that's a funny story, actually," Zoro snickered. "Remember that criminal I was chasing when I met you?"

Sanji nodded. Of course he remembered.

"I did find him. Last Friday, when we were supposed to go on that date. I found him by accident, and he was involved in some more illegal shit, not just robbing people.
When I bumped into him, he was talking to one of his comrades about quite a big thing they were planning. Big, and certainly not legal.
So I decided to take him out once and for all.
When he saw me, he panicked. We fought, and I was winning, but his comrade had a gun and shot me. Because I was technically off duty at that time, I wasn't wearing my bulletproof vest, so the bullets hit me right in the chest. I was distracted for a moment, and it was enough for them to slam me head first into a brick wall." Zoro actually looked angry at himself for this, as if it was his own fault. And as if this entire thing wasn't badass enough! "I don't really remember much from there, but I think that was also where my wrist broke.
According to my colleagues, I managed to take them out anyway and hold them down until help arrived, but as I said, I don't remember it.
After they arrested them, I fainted, and didn't wake up until this morning. Not that spectacular, actually," he shrugged.

"Not that spectacular? Are you kidding me? Most people don't experience shit like this every day you know," Sanji sighed; this was just his luck. Being attracted to someone who didn't think getting shot several times, breaking their wrist, and getting their head slammed into a wall was a bad thing.

"It really isn't. I've had way worse, this is nothing." Zoro didn't even sound like he was bragging or playing hero or anything, he just sounded genuinely like he didn't consider this a very bad thing.

"I'm not sure if I want to know just what exactly you would consider 'something'," Sanji commented dryly. "Anyway, now that I know for sure that you were telling the truth - because excuse me, 'I was in a coma' does sound like a really improbable thing - I think I will give you a second chance. Because I'm nice like that. How about you call me when you're outta here, and we'll do that cinema date of yours?"

"Actually," Zoro mused, "Hospitals to tend to get a bit boring after some time. And Nami and the others only get on my nerves because I hurt myself again. They're my friends, but sometimes they're so annoying. So someone who doesn't constantly lecture me is nice too. If you wanna, you can drop by from time to time. But of course you don't have to!" he added hastily, almost sounding afraid that he'd said something wrong.

"Heh, I'll see when I have time, shitty moss head. See ya in a few days then," Sanji grinned, getting up and ready to leave. "Just try not to put yourself into a coma this time, yeah?"

So yeah, this was inspired by this prompt: .com(/)post(/)121663809353(/)person-b-is-waiting-at-a-restaurant-for-a-date . Look at this prompt and tell me it's NOT Zosan, I fucking dare you.
Anyway I decided to write the thing for my lovely girlfriend's birthday (orangelies/Ajalea), and this time I even managed to get it done in time. Yay for me.
Other than that, yay for gay BFs Zoro and Nami (I live for this ok), and yes I made Vivi a nurse because I needed Nami's gay to show, and I ship them (hard) so yeah.
That's basically it and I'll stop talking now. See ya around, I hope.