Title: "My Impossible Girl"
Summary: The Doctor thinks about his relationship with Martha and comes to a realization.
Spring 1969, London
"I've had it with that store, Doctor! We are never shopping there again!"
Martha stomped into their tiny apartment with her tiny fist in balls around the two grocery bags she was carrying. She was sweating a bit and her hair was in somewhat disarray. The Doctor was behind her holding the remaining five bags and slowly losing his grip. His long, skinny fingers holding on to dear life around the bag that held the milk. Martha would strangle him if he dropped the glass bottle again. In her current mood, he wouldn't want to anger her anymore anyway.
"Martha, a little help please." He managed to mutter as she turned around to rant some more. She stopped midword and nodded before putting her own bags down and helping him to the kitchen. Well, if you called their tiny walk in with a stove a kitchen.
They were both silent for a while as they decided what went where. Martha grumbled under her breath about the price of peanut butter, and the Doctor nodded his agreement.
"Are you ok?" He asked her as she stood by the sink holding the dish cloth in a deathgrip. Her shoulders were hiked up with tension and she wouldn't look at him. He sighed before placing the last item, a jar of pickles, in the fridge.
"Martha." He said as he leaned opposite her against the sink. She sighed before looking at him and he gasped. He had never been one for tears, in all honesty he hated them. He also never thought he would see Martha Jones cry. Not his fierce, beautiful, intelligent Martha Jones. He frowned wondering where the hell that train of thought came from. Shaking his head he reached out his arms and she looked at him not moving.
"It's ok. Really. Come here, Martha." He said slowly like one would say to a frightened child. He knew she wasn't a child but somethings were still soft points for her. She was strong but everyone has their chips in their armor.
"I hate it, Doctor. I mean I understand being treated like dirt in 1913 but not in the 60s. I just don't get it." She said as the Doctor grabbed her hand and led her to their shared bedroom. She let her tears fall freely and he smiled a sad smile down at her.
"I seen it happen all over the universe, Martha. There is no sane reason to hate people and there never will be. All I can think is we must learn to be better." He said as he pet her hair. She was growing quieter now and he reached over to the nightstand and gave her a tissue or two.
"That's true. I mean you can't live your life hating everyone. It just makes me so angry. I'm a nice person you know and yet people judge me by my skin color." She said looking down at the blanket.
"You, dear Martha, are the nicest person I know. And for the record I like the color of your skin." He said with one of his manic grins on his face. Martha smiled a bit with a giggle and he grabbed her hand again stroking the back of it.
"Thank you, Doctor. You may be an alien but you always know what to say." She said smiling at him. They both laughed before the Doctor kissed her forehead. She looked at him curiously.
"Why did you do that?" She said, voice shaky.
"Because you needed it. Besides, I'm feeling a bit bold today and thought to myself, I'm going to kiss Martha." He said smiling and she bit her lip.
"No genetic transfer than?"
"No. Not this time."
"Ok. In that case, mind doing me a favor, Doctor?" She asked sitting up and looking him in the eyes. Martha's shirt had ridden up a bit and her face was still streaked with tear marks but he thought she was beautiful. Trying to control his thoughts, the Doctor leaned up keeping eye contact with her.
"Anything, Ms. Jones."
"Can you give me a back massage? I know its a bit much to ask for, but it's been killing me all day." She said biting her lip which was a sign she was nervous. He swallowed down the instant arousal at the thought of something so intimate with a companion. He felt his hearts, both of them, thudding in his chest like a caged bird.
"Yes. Change into something better, and I will be back."
Martha frowned confused. "Where are you going?"
"Kitchen. Be back in a moment."
Five minutes later:
"Doctor, are you sure that this stuff won't break me out in hives or something?" Martha asked as she turned her head to look at him.
"Nah, you will be fine. At least I'm sure it works on humans...yup. Yup definitely fine." The Doctor murmured not really focusing on the question. He was distracted by all of Martha's smooth skin as she was wearing a tanktop and pajama shorts. It was fun doing something so intimate with her because he longed to be connected to her on this kind of level. Still he was unsure how to approach the subject. He knew he had treated her like a hanger-on or a clinging kid sister for most of their adventures but he wanted that to change.
"Doctor, you don't know what you're doing do you?" She said a cute smirk playing on her lips. She was sitting in front of him on the bed, and he was sitting behind her.
"What! Of course I know what I'm doing. I always know what I'm doing I'll have you know, Martha."
"Yeah right." She said laughing.
The Doctor smiled at her before applying his home made oil concoction and started rubbing Martha's shoulders. Her laughter died and she hung her head forward sighing.
"Ok?" He asked whispering in her ear.
"Mmmhmm." She mumbled and closed her eyes.
"Let me know if I press too hard, Martha." He whispered again catching a whiff of her skin. She smelled of lavender, from that fancy soap she first bought when they got stuck there, and of sweat from hauling the groceries through the street.
"Ok, Doctor." She said back in a quiet relaxed voice.
His hands glided over her shoulders in slow but firm circles adding more oil as he worked his way down. He listened to the way she was breathing and the soft murmurs she let slip out to know which spots needed more attention. When he touched the middle of her back, Martha jumped under his hands and let out a hiss.
"That's where the pain is worst?" The Doctor asked slowing his movements and using his palms to work the kinks out.
"Yeah. It's the very center that hurts. Do you think I pulled something?" She asked.
"Nah, just tender from being overworked. Here, lie flat for me." He asked and Martha hesitated for a moment before doing as he asked.
The Doctor watched her with something like wonder in his own brown eyes. She was stunning and almost painfully unaware of it. The innocence wasn't lost on him. Martha had no idea he was starting to see her in a new way.
"OK uh...just stay still. I won't hurt you, Martha." He whispered and she nodded her understanding.
The Doctor moved his hands in a wide circle across Martha's lower back, having to pull the tanktop up to expose her skin. She sighed contently in the pillows before his attention was drawn to a little mole on the left side just below her ribs.
"That's interesting..." He said outloud and Martha picked her head up.
"What is?"
"I never knew you had a mole." He said running a finger across the mole. She shuddered under him and he did it again.
"It never came up, Doctor." She said clearly amused by his fascination with something as simple as a mole. The Doctor smiled tracing the mole over and over again.
"Uh...Doctor..." Martha was almost gasping now and he looked up seeing her eyes were a bit hooded.
"Oh! Sorry. I just...well I guess I just like it is all. Ok turn around I'll get back to the massage." He said blushing a little now knowing he must have crossed a line. Martha let out a breath and muttered something under her breath. It sounded to the Doctor like "you're trying to kill me." but he didn't ask.
He rubbed her back first in long, sweeping, and almost elegant swipes before applying a bit of force to the very center. He watched for a reaction but Martha only closed her eyes. Her mouth was open a bit, white teeth peaking out. The Doctor had to stop looking at her so closely.
"Ok Martha, this is going to be a bit harder this time." He said and she only nodded. One of her tiny hands wrapping around the edge of her pillow in anticipation.
The Doctor pressed down harder and Martha gasped before he let up. He did this three more times before leaning over her and blowing on the oil to cool it. Martha moaned and the Doctor's head snapped up watching.
They were both silent for a minute as Martha lay catching her breath. The Doctor, his hands still rubbing small circles into her smooth skin. He was pretending he didn't just watch her climax.
"Did I hurt you?" He asked after a while. She looked at him turning in his arms. The Doctor found his hands on her flat stomach now. There were oily spots left where his long fingers made contact.
"No. I liked it. Thank you." She said as if unaware that she was directly under him now. The Doctor gulped looking down to see her nipples were peaking in the tanktop. She smiled up at him.
"Right. Well if you ever need another, uh, massage let me know." He said as he moved to get up and Martha watched him fidget before speaking.
"Doctor, are you going to pretend nothing just happened?" Her voice was breathy but unsure. He sat on the edge of the bed still facing her.
"I dunno. Do you want to pretend nothing just happened?" He asked.
Martha wrapped her arms around him pulling him into her embrace before kissing him. He moaned feeling his reserve melting to the ground. She was soft and smelled amazing especially that close. That was probably why he liked hugging her so much. This regeneration was a very nose oriented one.
"Martha-" He said before she kissed him once more. He panted when their lips separated and he could think clearly again.
"I don't want to pretend, Doctor." She said not looking at him. He knew she was being pushy because she thought at any moment he would storm out and leave her hurt and feeling confused. He wanted to show her that he wasn't ever going to make her go through that again. He wanted her to know he saw her, finally.
"I don't either Martha. However, I feel I need to do more to prove myself if anything is going to happen with us. I mean...I want to do this right." He said knowing he was blushing again.
"Us?" She said trying the word on and he smiled kissing her again.
"Yes. Us. If you want there to be an Us that is." He said and Martha nodded almost in tears again.
"Don't cry. Come here. Shh." He said turning in her arms that were still wrapped around him. He was holding her now and they rearranged themselves so they were laying down wrapped in each other.
"Doctor, is this just a thing? I mean will things go back to normal when we get the TARDIS back?" She said looking down at his chest. He felt her tense in his arms with worry and fear that he would reject her. He felt a stab in his chest at the idea of making this woman feel unwanted.
"Not anymore Martha. I don't like making you feel that way. I'm sorry I ever did that to you." He said meaning every word.
"You are pretty impossible sometimes Doctor, but I don't want you any other way." She said smiling. He wrapped a hand in her thick hair pulling her into a deep kiss that stole her breath.
"Thank you Martha for seeing me that way." He said kissing her again and then again. Martha grinned as the kisses got more and more heated before she pushed him away a bit.
"What happened to slow and steady, Mister Smith?" She said feeling how aroused he was. His tight suit hiding nothing from her.
"Now who is being impossible!" He said playfully pouting at her.