A/N: just a short one-shot to welcome in the weekend! xxx
Mary hummed as she gently bounced Ella on her lap, gazing at the little girl lovingly. She wasn't humming any tune in particular, but Ella was too new to the world to realise that, so she stared up at her mother with wide, enraptured eyes. It had been a relatively quiet day - Ella had managed to sleep through most of it in spite of her teething pains. This was a welcome relief for Mary, who had grown weary with the sleepless nights and days spent trying to soothe the baby's discomfort.
Diverting her gaze momentarily, Mary looked at the clock. The quietness of the afternoon had made her realise how much she missed her husband while he was at work. She always missed him, regardless of how stressful or relaxing her days were, but it felt like ever so long since they had spent quality time together. The few hours that he spent at home each day were usually filled with discussing Ella, or whether they'd be going to Mary's parents' house or Isobel's flat for Sunday lunch. She supposed it must be the same for many young parents who were trying to figure out exactly how best to look after an infant. All the same, she found herself increasingly craving her husband's company.
"Darling!" Matthew's happy voice sounded as soon as he walked into the room. Mary could hear his footsteps approaching from behind the sofa upon which she was sat, and a smile instantly spread across her face. She turned to reciprocate the greeting, but as she opened her mouth to speak she noticed that Matthew had not been addressing her. A grin graced his face as he leaned down to lift their daughter off Mary's lap and Ella immediately began kicking her legs and gurgling at him merrily. It was a touching sight, although Mary couldn't help but frown. "I'm glad to see you're in a good mood, sweetie." Matthew chuckled as he cuddled the cheery baby, placing a kiss on her cheek. "I hope you've allowed Mummy a bit of rest today." He sat down next to Mary, his eyes still focused on Ella. "How has your day been?" He asked. After a few moments of silence, he turned his head to look at Mary questioningly.
"Oh, I'm sorry - were you speaking to me?" Mary asked, unable to keep the sulkiness out of her voice.
"Of course I was," Matthew laughed lightly, "I wouldn't expect an answer from the baby, would I?"
"Well, she certainly gets a lot more of your attention than I do." Mary mumbled, straightening out Ella's blanket with unnecessary vigour.
Matthew frowned at his wife as he observed her, then carefully placed Ella in her bassinet so that he could face her fully. "What is it?" He asked, his tone indicating that he knew full well that something was bothering her so there was no point in her pretending otherwise.
Mary sighed. While she knew it would probably be best for her to own up to her feelings, they were embarrassing and she felt rather stupid about them. "I just..." She began, dropping her hand to her lap helplessly. "I get jealous."
"Of who?" Matthew asked, confused, before he clocked on. "Of the baby?!" He asked incredulously, almost laughing at how ridiculous it sounded.
"God, I sound like an awful mother, don't I?" Mary held her head in her hands. Now that she finally said it out loud, and witnessed Matthew's reaction, it dawned on her just how absurd a notion it was.
"No, not at all, Mary." Matthew quickly scooted closer to her to take her hand in his. He kissed the back of it comfortingly. "I'm just not sure what you mean..."
Mary sighed again, more frustratedly. She hated it when Matthew was slow to understand her strange moods, as it only made her feel worse to have to explain them in detail. "I'm not annoyed that you love Ella so much, or that you want to spend time with her - of course you would, when you've been at work all day... It's just that I'm not used to sharing you."
For the last few years, from the time they started dating right up until Ella's birth, Mary had grown accustomed to the idea that she was the apple of Matthew's eye. Upon the announcement of their engagement, Isobel had lightly joked to Mary that she'd long realised that she was no longer the most important woman in Matthew's life, and that Mary had usurped her place. Whenever there was a good piece of news to share, Matthew would call Mary before his mother. Whenever he walked into a room where both of them were present, Matthew would greet Mary first. Whenever he needed comforting, it was Mary whom he'd want by his side. As Tom had less eloquently put it to her, "Matthew thinks the Sun shines out of your ass". She had become so used to having exclusive possession of his heart, of knowing that he put her above all else, that it felt strange to suddenly have that position compromised.
She was vaguely aware that she sounded like a little girl being told to share her toys with a younger sibling (as had actually happened to her when Edith had come along) but Matthew merely smiled fondly at her. "Darling," he said adoringly, "I hope you don't think for one second that I love you any less than I did before Ella arrived. How many times have I told you that I love you even more?" He tenderly stroked her cheek and neck with his fingers.
"I know," Mary replied softly, "and I know that I'm lucky to have a husband who wants to spend time with his daughter as much as you do, but we hardly get to talk anymore. Not properly, anyway. I don't remember the last time we had a conversation about anything other than teething toys, or baby food, or the latest developments in pram technology. I know having a child is a huge deal and it's natural that it would change our lives and our priorities, but...I just miss you." She shrugged daintily.
Matthew held her face more firmly and kissed her fully. It was the first time in a couple of days that they'd done anything more than a quick peck and it sent tingles all over Mary's body. She gripped his chest and shoulder as his lips moved insistently on hers.
"Mary..." He breathed, his nose rubbing against hers affectionately. "My darling, I'm so sorry I've been neglecting you."
Mary shook her head. "No, Matthew, you haven't been." She didn't want him to feel that he'd fallen short in any way. "You've been home every evening and we've spent time together as a family everyday - and I'm so glad that we have a family...and I wouldn't change it for the world," Mary cast a loving glance towards the bassinet as her thoughts tumbled out of her head, "but I miss having time alone with you. You're a wonderful father to Ella and I couldn't ask for anything more from you in that respect - but I married you because I wanted you as a husband. And I presume you married me because you wanted me as a wife, and not just a mother to your children."
Matthew nodded, dropping another kiss on her lips. "I married you because I wanted you to be my wife, friend, lover, support...everything." Thinking about it now, Matthew had let himself get swept away in the tide of becoming a father and had let things fall by the wayside. Even the quality of his work in the office had taken a hit as he spent a lot of his day discussing childcare with his colleagues or fielding telephone calls from a worried Grandma Isobel. He knew how much Mary loved being a mother, against all odds, and how she enjoyed having time to bond with Ella during the day. Yet, he also knew that she must be finding it difficult being cooped up in the house most of the time, as Ella had been too fussy recently to spend much time outside. Naturally, she would want someone to talk to and complain to and laugh with, and that was Matthew's role - one that he had eagerly signed up for on the day they exchanged vows. They got along so well and had such a strong relationship, it was a shame that he hadn't invested much in it over the past weeks. "I suppose I need to put a bit more effort into being all of those things to you." He said regretfully.
"We both do, Matthew." Mary said as she traced his lips with her finger, keen to erase any misplaced guilt that he was feeling. "We're new at this, remember?" She smiled.
"That's true," Matthew smiled back, "It's a matter of learning to balance everything, I guess." He paused to think for a moment, absent-mindedly playing with a lock of Mary's hair. "Mum called during my lunchbreak to invite us round for tea on Saturday - why don't I ask her to keep the baby for a few hours and we can go somewhere?" He suggested. "Or we could not go somewhere and just stay in our bedroom?" He raised an eyebrow and smirked.
"Cheeky," Mary smacked his chest playfully with the back of her hand, although it had been a while since they'd made love and the thought of an afternoon in bed with her husband - at one time a fairly regular occurrence - sent a frisson of excitement through her. "Would Isobel be alright with that?" She asked more seriously. While she had her good moments, Ella had been a bit of a handful recently.
"Trust me, she'd love it. You know how she is when it comes to looking after people, especially her granddaughter. She'd think we're doing her a favour." Matthew assured her.
"That sounds wonderful, then." Mary smiled broadly. She wrapped her arms around Matthew's neck and they met again in a kiss. This one soon became more passionate, their mouths opening to each other. Mary moaned softly, her body pressing against his of its own volition.
"Is she asleep?" Matthew whispered as he pulled away to press kisses along Mary's neck, his hands sliding underneath the back of her T-shirt to feel her warm, smooth skin.
"Mm," was all Mary could say in response after turning to see Ella sleeping safely and contentedly.
"Upstairs?" Matthew suggested hungrily, desperate to show Mary how much he'd missed her too. Without waiting for an answer, he stood up and scooped Mary into his arms, shushing her as she squealed and laughing as she glared at him.
He strode over to the staircase when Mary halted his movements. "Wait - the baby monitor." She pointed back towards the living room.
With an annoyed grunt, Matthew walked back so that Mary could lift the small device from where it was perched on the coffee table. "Honestly, Matthew, where are your priorities?" Mary teased as Matthew darted up the staircase with her in his arms.