Title: Magic of Midsummer
Disclaimer: I do not own anything associated with Final Fantasy 8 and do no make any profit off this fic. None.
Authors note: Yeah, ok. So this took way longer than it was supposed to. It took a year to write, then I let it simmer of another year, before it took me six months to have the damn thing written on the computer and.... what's it been now? Three months, of proof-reading. I'm sorry if it sucks, but after reading it a gazillion times, I'm so sick of it I can't tell what's bad and what's not anymore.
And since the uploading program on this site is worth SHIT when you use HTML, the whole thing's a mess now and I've just spent and hour and a half going through it AGAIN! So yeah, I wash my hands of this now!
MAGIC OF MIDSUMMER
Chapter 1
The morning was like any other morning had been for the past three months, except for one thing.
"Did I fuck up the pancakes?"
Squall looked up from where he was staring deep into space, zeroing in on Zell in worn baggy sweatpants and a wrinkled black tank top.
"Huh?"
"Is something wrong with your breakfast?" Zell gestured irritably with a spatula. "You haven't eaten."
When looking down, Squall noticed the plate of neatly stacked chocolate chip pancakes sitting before him untouched.
"Sorry, I've got stuff on my mind."
"Work?"
"Yeah."
It wasn't a direct lie, because Zell could spot those immediately, but it was a slight bending of the truth and a mild case of withholding information.
Ever since he and Zell had made their relationship official three months ago and Zell had moved in, Squall had begun to second-guess every decision he made as Commander. The number of times where he would hesitate with his pen on a mission order had increased dramatically since they'd started their relationship, wondering what people would think of his decision to send, or not send, Zell on a mission.
The reaction to their combined coming out had not been late in coming.
The majority had wished them well (albeit not as enthusiastically as Selphie) though some obviously didn't feel comfortable being around him alone anymore, but that he could handle since most people hadn't been comfortable around him to begin with.
It was those that wouldn't accept any of it that was the roughest. Among the lesser things were questioning his leadership, like him being gay would suddenly make him less capable of being an authority in Garden, or inappropriate and lewd so called jokes about his sexual preferences, like he would jump anything even remotely male within three feet. Others had been down right threats, against him personally or Zell and people just refusing to take his orders.
Cid had made it perfectly clear that he was standing behind them, something Squall was eternally grateful for, but Cid's influence, and even Laguna's, only reached so far.
But Zell couldn't - or wouldn't - see it. Too him, everything bad that had happened; the notes, the phone calls, the scuffles in the hallway, all could be dismissed with a shrug; "Don't worry, Squall. They'll get over it."
Squall had tried to stress to him just how important and serious things were, with students leaving or switching classes, how some had even transferred to other Gardens altogether and with teachers resigning or terminating contracts.
Each time Squall had to sign a resignation or a transfer, it felt like a personal failure, but Zell just refused to discuss it, saying that he didn't care about what selfish homophobes thought.
Once that flippant attitude had worked as a counterweight to Squall's incessant brooding, but this time it just made everything worse.
Zell was well liked among both the staff and the students and of those that didn't care for him much, very few would dare to confront him with anything to his face. He didn't get to see or hear the things Squall did, wouldn't look at the bigger picture and sometimes Squall wished he could be that naïve and selfish too.
Everything, from the obstacles at work, to the almost suffocating support from their friends and family and Zell's utter inability to take anything seriously, was bringing him ever closer to an eruption.
"Wow, must be something really important if you can space out that long."
Squall was pulled back to the now by Zell the still untouched plate of pancakes and throwing them in the trash.
"Yeah, look We need to talk."
Zell sighed and put the empty plate in the sink with a little too much force than necessary.
"Not now, babe. It's a great day, and it's just starting. Can't we do this later and go see Ma instead, she's doing much better now?"
Ma Dincht had suffered from an illusive illness that the doctors couldn't really determine the cure of, going on and off medicines like other people changed underwear. Zell had suggested using magic, but even Squall couldn't sanction something like that and Zell had understood. That didn't mean that he'd stopped fussing over his mother, the way she'd always fussed over him.
But even Ma Dincht could tell things weren't right between them anymore, if the latest dinner at her house was anything to go by.
"No, well talk now. I got a letter from Commander Hawk at Galbadia." He stopped to take a calming breath and make sure Zell was paying attention. "It said, in more professional terms and less kindly that he's pulling back all current transfers including, and not limited to, instructors." He paused, staring up at his boyfriend. "Which means that Irvine is leaving. You can't tell me that's not bothering you."
Zell was frowning, eyes focused slightly to the side of Squall's shoulder.
"Yeah, that's gotta suck for Selphie. I mean, they've been talking engagement and everything."
Squall couldn't help but stare dumbly for a second.
"That's it? That's your main concern? Were losing a collaboration we've had for over a decade, an event that's not only gonna have a huge impact on our classes and education, but is also considered one of Gardens biggest failures. And it sucks for Selphie?!"
At some point he'd gotten to his feet and backed Zell up against the sink and the blond had the decency to look slightly worried.
"I know you don't want to think about it and you're doing a great job not to, but this is really serious! Not just 'serious, but well get over it' but serious as in 'I don't know if I can keep doing this anymore'."
"You're thinking about quitting your job?"
Squall hated quitters.
"Yes, I do."
"Why?"
It was like banging his head against a solid stone wall. Either Zell was totally dim-witted, and Squall knew that wasn't true, or he was wearing blinders to block out everything unpleasant around him. Including Squall.
"I can't do this anymore."
"Yeah, you told me, man, but I think you need to--"
"No, I meant us. As long as you don't understand how grave this situation is and that I need your help in this, you're just making it worse."
Zell had gone completely still before him; the body that constantly moved even when it wasn't supposed to, stood frozen.
"What are you saying?"
And wasn't that just the problem?
"I need a break. From everything if I could, but I don't think I can have that."
"So you want a break from me. A permanent break?"
"Probably not."
He really hadn't thought this through, he noticed, his mind pulling in a thousand different directions, and it didn't help that he was hopelessly late for work.
"Probably not", Zell echoed hollowly. "Right."
Squall reached out and put a hand on the blond's shoulder, felt it tightening up underneath his palm.
"We can talk about this later, ok? I have to get to the office. I'm sorry to put this on you now and then rush off but I need you to understand, Zell. Do you?"
Zell nodded along as Squall talked, wrapping strong arms around himself as an unsettling hardness formed behind blue eyes.
"Ok?"
"Yeah."
Squall had thought that once hed managed to make Zell aware of the severity if the situation, hed feel relieved, but whatever weight had lifted from his shoulders had settled cold and hard in his stomach instead.
----
"Squall, can you come in for a second?"
Quistis stood from her desk as Squall entered, momentarily taken aback by the grimness on his face, something she hadn't seen in a long time. She refrained from making a comment on it though, careful to mind her own business.
"What is it?", he asked gruffly.
"Nida called, said he wanted us both up on C-deck."
She'd always wondered why everyone insisted on calling it Captains deck, or C-deck for short, when B-Garden had never had a Captain. But her attempts at calling something more appropriate had fallen on deaf ears, so she had succumbed to the custom.
"What for?"
"Said he wanted to talk to us about a new flight plan."
Squall frowned, an adorable little pout forming and Quistis smiled.
"He has a flight plan. Why does he need a new one?"
"I assume thats what he wants to discuss."
She gathered up some papers and looked at Squall inquiringly. "Shall we?"
He was busy glaring off to the side, but he nodded. "Yeah."
It was unlike him to be this brooding, and Quistis never thought that day would come during their lifetime when she would think that. She'd gotten used to him being more forthcoming, sometimes even friendly, in the past year and a half, and it startled her when he reverted back to his old self.
As they reached the elevator to the top levels, Seifer was already standing there, waiting impatiently.
A familiar flutter started up in the pit of her stomach as she took in the sight of him.
Although very little had changed about the tall blond's appearance since the Sorceress War, or about him as a person, her view of him had changed drastically. Back then, he'd been selfish, arrogant, fierce and dangerous, and while he still was all those things - though maybe in shorter supply- he seemed a lot more approachable now and it fascinated her.
Just the way he carried himself these days, straighter and more relaxed, made her flush and -she reluctantly admitted- stutter, and how his ocean-green eyes would zero in and fix on her made her weak in the knees.
And that knowing smirk no longer made her want to strangle him with his shoelaces, though she desperately wished it still did, for her own sanity's sake.
If there was anything she hated, it was feeling helpless and Seifer always seemed ready to pull the carpet out from under her feet.
He turned as he heard them approach and his face immediately changed into a leer.
"Well good morning, Commander, Quistis. Enjoying a wee stroll, are we?"
Squall scoffed.
"Aren't you supposed to be teaching, Seifer?"
Seifer snorted and sneered simultaneously.
"I don't understand why you have me teaching these brats discipline. Its like having a hen teach chickens how to fly."
Quistis couldn't suppress a smile at the analogy and Squall made a rude noise.
"We hoped you might pick up something for yourself," the Commander said, stepping up beside him to glare menacingly at the elevator.
"Someone obviously woke up on the wrong side of the bed. Or did Chickie not blow you this morning?"
Quistis tried really hard to keep inappropriate thoughts about Squall and Zell together to a minimum, but Seifers total disregard for anything private always made it difficult. Usually his comments and suggestion would be accompanied by a very tell-tale blush creeping up Squall's neck and would immediately reflect on her on face, but this time the Commanders jaw just set harder, his eyes turning to steel.
Seifer luckily recognized it as a good time to shut up, so he gave her an exasperated look over Squalls head, shrugged and started whistling some cheery tune between his teeth.
When the elevator finally stopped on their floor, they all got in and Squall's foul mood made the already stuffed air in the enclosed space hard to breathe.
"So where are you headed?" She recognized her own voice a second after the question had been asked. Seifer looked away from the display counting up the floors and nailed her with a penetrating gaze.
"Cid called me up. Had a suggestion on lesson plans."
You'd think the old Headmaster had asked him to wear a pink tutu to class, with how his mouth twisted into a disgusted grin.
"Be sure to take notes."
He waved a small notebook in her face, smile wide and amused.
Quistis wasn't sure what her feelings towards Seifer could be defined as, but she knew she didn't particularly like how she'd think of him during the days and would dream of him at night, mostly innocently and sometimes...not so much.
She hadn't been in a serious relationship before and if you didn't count a couple of disastrous dates with the Assistant Headmaster of Deling Garden, she had never even had a boyfriend. She didn't know the difference between love and lust, or if there even was any distinction.
All she knew was that Seifer was more than just a friend and that any girl that looked twice and smiled at the former Sorceress Knight made her bristle and spit nails.
The elevator came to a startling halt and Seifer turned to wink at her as he stepped out and she stole a moment to admire his departing form before turning back to Squall, dark cloud still looming ominously above him.
"What do you think is wrong with the flight plan?" It was a futile attempt at making small talk, a concept Squall hadn't quite grasped yet, although he had made a few more or less successful attempts. "Maybe there are some problems with authorisation?"
Squall's eyes narrowed and Quistis wished she could curse skilfully at her faux pas. Bringing up problems about Garden was always bound to make Squall irritated.
"Maybe," he said, tense. "Or we've been called somewhere else. There could be many reasons why, there's no use speculating."
And yet there he was, speculating. And not coming to any pleasant conclusions, judging from his fisted hands.
Of course, she knew about Gardens recent setbacks and how some personally blamed Squall, since it coincided with him coming out of the closet.
Quistis had never paid any mind to gossip and rumours, but hearing second hand some of the things people had said about Squall, and how they had somehow incorporated Zell into what they considered his mistakes, had her seeing red. Obviously those that had started the rumours and the trash talk knew Quistis relationship with the pair and wouldn't talk when she was around, but she had sworn if she ever caught any of them... Well, lets just say the Disciplinary Committee would be like a bunch of sissies in comparison.
"Is everything alright?"
It was a dumb question, and Quistis wasn't usually prone to those, but she genuinely worried. If she'd been Selphie she might have straight out asked if the problem was Zell - usually that was what would put a damper on Squalls entire day - but she had learned her lesson about being that straightforward and curious.
There was a moment of silence before he answered: "No."
He didn't elaborate and she wouldn't pry if that were all he wanted to volunteer, but then he sighed.
"Three instructors have requested a transfer, affective immediately, and they don't seem to care where they end up as long as it's not here. And that's just this week. I can't quite figure out why they didn't do it sooner. Probably waiting to see if I would go first. At this rate we won't have any instructors, or students, left. Thank Hyne the SeeDs havent started quitting yet, but since I'm the one paying their salaries, its probably just a matter of time."
Quistis shivered unintentionally at his words, concern and anger both battling for precedence. There was no denying the severity of this mass-desertion, for whatever reason, but she didn't want to give Squall any reasons to think that she doubted or blamed him.
All she wanted was for people to accept the situation as one of lifes odd quirks and move on. They wouldn't accomplish anything by boycotting Balamb Garden. But then she took in the harried look in Squalls eyes, the shadows in his face, the obvious signs that he was losing sleep over this and she realized that maybe they did.
----
"Seifer! Come in, I'm sorry." Cid shuffled aside papers as Seifer stepped in, making strange motions with his hand. "I'm a little stressed. Garden's been forced to an alternate flight plan and its requiring some extra paperwork. Please, sit!"
Pausing mid-sit due to the ingrained habit of disobeying orders (even if Cid had said please), Seifer wondered why Cid seemed so riled up. The Headmaster was getting more and more hyped up as the years went by, like he was trying to catch up to a pace he couldn't handle anymore.
"Now, why did I call you up here? Right, lesson plans. Have you ever considered role-playing?"
The snort was unstoppable, but Seifer managed to hold back enough to make it look like an unusually forceful exhale and shook his head.
He still couldn't decide if Squall had stuck him in this particular class because he had dared ask for more responsibility or because the brunet was just being a complete fuckwit and sticking Seifer with these annoying retards was just a way to prove what an ass he could be. If it was the latter, then mission accomplished.
Cid was babbling on and on about group exercises and personal growth and Seifer only tuned in enough to recognize when he was being asked a question.
His mind wandered to Quistis and how she switched between hot and cold in the blink of an eye.
After everything, he'd thought they had gotten closer and he had even tried starting up conversations with her when they met, something she seemed to accept with great reluctance.
But whenever he tried to move the topic onto more personal matters, she'd settle back into her old, tight-assed routine while giving him that lemony sour look and talked down to him like he was a child.
It was confusing, to say the least, because he could catch her looking and he'd seen her blush when he'd made a particularly bold advancement, but when he tried to unravel her a little more, she'd shut down, call him an inconsiderable jerk and stomp off.
No one had perfected the stomping off technique quite like Quistis.
And while he could appreciate the hard working, no nonsense attitude, he wondered if she could ever let her guard down or if she was all ice and barbed wire, through and through.
He didn't like to think of her as a female Squall, but he figured there was some truth to the saying "you are who you hang with".
"So maybe the kids need to feel what it's like to be the outcast and acting that out in class would be very helpful, I think."
"Very."
And speaking of Squall.
He had broken a kids jaw in the Training Centre last week after the little runt had asked if Seifer was barking up the Squall-tree too, or something equally stupid. They'd been a group of five, barely half his age and size, but theyd been so persistent that hed finally clocked one. He'd let the little fucker bleed and cry for a bit before he'd healed him and practically dared them to tell anyone.
It was their word against his and he may not have a spotless record, but since hed been reinstated hed kept out of trouble. At least as far as the Faculty was concerned.
He tried really hard not to think about why he had defended Squall and Zell like that. He doubted they would appreciate the effort (at least Squall wouldn't, from a predictable moral point of view, and Zell was all protective and shit about the kids) and he could probably have written it off as self-preservation and pride - Seifer Almasy didnt bark up anyone's tree - if he hadn't interfered on other occasions as well.
He was probably, a little bit, maybe sort of protective.
"So, what do you think?"
"Awesome. I'll get right on that."
Cid grinned triumphantly and Seifer clicked off the tape-recorder in his pocket and shook the Headmaster's hand.
----
Selphie looked up from her morning tea, cautiously watching Irvine chow down the toast like it was a race. He had overslept - again - this morning and after getting a pretty characteristic scolding from Quistis (one involving a lot of sarcasm, successful attempts at guilt and threats of bodily mutilation) Irvine had dressed hurriedly and inaccurately.
But Selphie couldn't muster to care about the dishevelled appearance of her boyfriend, not after the news he had conveyed to her the night before.
Transfer revoked. Those were the words she remembered the most.
She had known, objectively, that Irvine was only on loan to Balamb Garden and while it wasnt a time-limited contract, the possibility of him being recalled had always been there.
She just hadn't been expected it. Not after all this time.
After a sleepless night she was full of questions. Like why Irvine hadn't applied for permanent employment with Balamb Garden. If he had, had it been denied, and in that case, why? Had Squall tried to stop the order, and was he - unfairly - the cause of it? Did Irvine want to go back? Could she go with him, and did she want to? Would he ask? Were they breaking up? Had they-
"More milk?"
"What?"
Irvine was looking at her expectantly, holding out his glass. "I asked you for a refill. Where's your head, baby?"
She leaned back to get the milk off the counter. "In Galbadia, currently," she muttered, filling up the glass.
Irvine only gave her an odd look, but thanked her for the milk none the less. He chugged it down fast and rose, wiping his mouth on his sleeve, a bad habit she had desperately tried to make him stop doing.
He bent down to give her a light kiss on her temple, so normal and everyday that tears sprang unbidden to her eyes. She blinked them away quickly but Irvine had already switched to work-mode and left with a "later, babe" tossed over his shoulder.
She sat staring at his empty seat for a long moment after he'd gone, trying to imagine what it would feel like to never see him sit there again. Her mind was a jumble of half-finished thoughts, jumping from one deep end to another. She felt so utterly alone and it made her irrationally angry.
The Universe was too much to hold a grudge against, so she narrowed it down; Galbadia Garden. Balamb Garden. Squall. Zell.
Furiously wiping away tears from her cheeks, she strode determinedly out of her dorm. She knew perfectly well that Zell couldn't possibly be blamed for the frazzled state she was in or Irvine's inevitable departure, but he had introduced her to Irvine all those years ago and while it may be a bit far-fetched, she was too fed up with Hyne putting stops in the wheels for her whenever things were going good to bother with rational thought. She needed to cry, yell, maybe even hit someone, and if Zell really were her best friend hed be able to take a few punches.
Well, that was what she thought, until she ran into him in the hallway with an armful of clothes.
"I thought you handed all your laundry over to your mom after you shrunk your SeeD-uniform?"
She was trying to be sarcastic, but it came out mostly bitchy. Either way, Zell didn't smile.
"Yeah, well, it isn't laundry," he said, staring hard down the hallway behind her.
"So, where are you going?"
"Nowhere." He sighed and shook his head, before quietly admitting; "Seifers. He said I could store some stuff at his place for a while."
"Store it? Whats wrong with your closet? Did Squall buy another shirt and suddenly it's full?"
Again, not funny.
"Not likely. I just. I don't wanna talk about this right now, ok? I gotta catch Quistis before she goes to lunch."
Selphie frowned, hands going subconsciously to her hips. "Quistis? Are you in trouble?"
Zell wasn't widely known for being a troublemaker, people tended to back off rather than engage in a fight with him. But that didn't mean that Zell couldn't occasionally find himself in a tight spot, like last year when a couple of G-Garden exchange students suddenly got the brilliant idea to cause a ruckus is Zells martial arts class, hurting one of the younger cadets in the process and Zell had "stepped in", so to speak.
"I guess that depends on whose side you're on. Look, I hafta go, find you later?" He rushed off before waiting for her reply.
Selphie could count on one hand, with plenty of fingers to spare, the times where Zell had chosen duty over his friends. He even found ways to disobey direct orders, "just a little", to make time for them, so something must be seriously wrong for him to just bolt off like this. She was curious, sure, it was a natural instinct for her to want to know other people's business, but right now she had issues of her own and she could always grill Quistis about it later. The woman would deny it vehemently, but Quistis was born with a mean gossip-streak and Selphie knew how to milk it ruthlessly.
But with Zell off disposing his entire wardrobe at Seifer's dorm, and then going to see Quistis, Selphie's options for someone to talk to was narrowing down quickly, until there was really only one name left.
She turned around and headed for Seifer's.
She still found it odd that she would consider him one of her go-to friends, even though she had never hated him, like some people claimed they did. It was just that he was a very private person when it came to his own business and would fiercely defend it against prying eyes that she had thought that it automatically equalled him being completely disinterested in other peoples affairs, but that was obviously not the case.
Because Seifer had proven to be a great counsellor, mostly because talking about feelings made him so immensely uncomfortable, that he rattled off his advise quickly and to the point, to avoid having to talk about it more than necessary.
Maybe that was just what she needed; a strong dose of reality.
Whatever that was. Maybe she and Irvine had done theirs, no matter how awesome everything had been so far. Like Matron had once told her, all good things must come to an end as well.
When she stopped outside Seifer's door, she knocked tentatively and guiltily hoped Zell had already left. The door opened and revealed Seifer looked uncharacteristically serious.
"Yeah?"
You could say a lot about Seifer, good and bad, but his manners definitely needed improvement.
"Do you have a minute?"
"Just one minute? You promise?"
She smiled, or tried to, but Seifer must have seen what a struggle that was and sighed before ushering her in.
"Is this about Kinneas' transfer?"
She nodded and sat down on the worn leather sofa Seifer had somehow managed to get transported into Garden, probably with the help of Raijin and Fuujin. It was surprisingly uncomfortable and she didn't resist he nervous tick of picking at a crack in the fabric.
"Come on, Selphie, gimme a break here."
"I don't really know what to do."
The Gunblader was leaning against the wall across from her, giving her space.
"About him leaving? Don't see how theres anything you can do. An order is an order."
She grinned, despite everything, amused by Seifer's sudden rulebook attitude. Amazing what a little disciplinary studies could do.
"Yeah, I know he's got no choice. I was thinking more about what I should do. Go with him, or stay?"
Seifer crossed his arms and his biceps blessedly distracted her for a moment.
"Why would you want to go? And are you sure Galbadia would welcome you with open arms?"
"What do you mean?"
Somehow Seifer knew she had referred to the latter. "Because if this is about Squall, they know about your relationship with him, and considering their vindictive nature - they are pulling Kinneas out of here, roots and all - they probably won't be that excited to have you come to them.
"And even if it isn't, theres been so many resignations that those that are supposedly loyal to Balamb Garden, should be seen sticking around. This isn't just about an unfair transfer order. Kinneas was only on loan, after all, and we all knew it. And if this is about Squall and Zell, you of all people should support them. Although, as its looking right now, those intolerant fuckers are getting their wish."
Selphie was too busy processing Seifers words, that it took her a minute to really comprehend his last sentence.
"What?"
"What, what?"
"Intolerant fuckheads getting their wish."
It wasn't exactly what hed said, but that's what she thought and she had never felt awkward cussing around Seifer, mostly because hed taught her most of her favourites.
"Oh, uh." Seifer eyes crossed the room and landed on a big box with a pile of clothes stacked on top. Zell's clothes.
"Ah, fuck it, you'll figure it out eventually. Squall apparently broke up with Zell this morning, completely taking the little moron by surprise and Zell's in the middle of negotiating his old room back with Quisty. In my humble opinion, he's acting very prematurely, considering he can't get his facts straight, even to himself. But Chickie has always been impulsive and annoyingly impatient, so I'm not surprised he's making a big drama out of this."
Selphie managed to put her own problems aside temporarily and gawked at this new information. No wonder Zell had looked so sad when she'd seen him before.
"Wow, thats... Thats fucked."
Seifer threw her a mildly disapproving glare that she found unspeakable hilarious, but he nodded in agreement.
"Yeah, and from what I can tell were gonna have to pull all the strings we can to stop this from being a complete waste of time."
"Waste of time, you're enjoying this?"
"Of course not, since I seem to be your resident therapist. But you don't want to have to make a decision about Kinneas only to have the bastard come back in a month, right?"
Selphie smiled faintly.
"You really don't like Irvine, do you?"
Seifer snorted and changed his stance against the wall, arms dropping to his sides.
"He's handy in a pinch, I'll give him that, but he's a pain in the ass at all other times. He's way too arrogant."
She couldn't help but laugh, loudly and freely. While Seifer could be bluntly honest, sometimes even bordering on cruel, it could be precisely what the doctor ordered.
"Yeah," she said, a little breathless as the last of the sudden eruption of mirth ebbed away. "We have to do something. Squall and Zell have to stay together, otherwise it'll be all for nothing."
"Which is just a repetition of what I've said." Seifer stood up straighter and gave her an inquisitive look. "Frankly, I'm surprised you're so on board with that, considering Irvine must be happy."
She frowned, mostly because the sharp pinch in her stomach was almost unbearable painful. "What do you mean?"
"I mean, he wasn't so happy about all this even before it all went to shit. I guess he's more tolerant than I thought." He looked down at his wristwatch. "Are we done here? I was in the middle of a nap when Zell decided my dorm was the best storage-space in Garden and then you dropped by. I'm getting behind on schedule."
"Not even close, mister."
Despite the fact that she was confused about Seifer's last comment about Irvine, she still had things she wanted to ventilate.
"You're gonna sit your ass down and listen to me reminisce about my relationship with Irvine, or I'm gonna tell Quisty -- something really embarrassing about you!"
It didn't look like he believed her, but he smirked and sat down on the armrest of the sofa with an exaggerated sigh. "Alright, gush away."
-----
Zell knocked forcefully on the Headmasters door, trying to hold on to his determination.
After going by Quistis' office, which he belatedly realized brought him by Squall's as well, and finding them both empty, he'd almost lost all his resolve. But Zell was nothing if not stubborn, and he was gonna show Squall that he wasn't a crybaby anymore and could be mature about things, fuck the fact that he felt like breaking down and scream right there in the hallway.
The opening door revealed the old Headmaster behind his desk, looking up when Zell entered.
"Zell, what a surprise, I was expecting someone else."
"I'm sorry, sir, I won't stay long. I just want to ask you something."
Cid rushed to stand and offered him a seat.
"No, no, sit, please, I have time." Zell figured that Cid wasn't really looking forward to whatever meeting he had been expecting, since he seemed so eager for a distraction. "What can I help you with?"
After Cid's decision to retire the previous year, Zell was under the impression that the Headmaster was bored. It was a work in progress to retire someone of high status within the ranks of Garden, with duties being delegated off to others while someone suited to take his or her place was selected.
Zell knew Squall had been approached, before their relationship had been made public, but had turned it down. The official statement said he didnt feel ready to shoulder such a responsibility, but hed told Zell later that night that hed rather swim naked across the Great Salt Lake than take on a job that required a round the clock commitment and gave nothing but spit and cusses in return.
Squall wouldnt have been very good at it anyway, considering the post came with a lot of politics that the brunet not only loathed, but was utterly terrible at.
Which reminded him
"Is it possible for me to get my old room back? I know there was talk about someone getting it after me, but..."
Cid did that thing he had where he nodded and shook his head at the same time, like he couldn't decide whether he agreed or not.
"No, its still available, nr 208, right? But why..."
He stopped himself, glancing at Zell while frowning worriedly.
"It's just better this way," Zell said, sounding way more confident than he was feeling, "Considering."
After Squall had left that morning, he'd sat down and really thought about things. He realized that Squall had been right, that hed been turning a blind eye to the issue, ignoring it and therefore, unwillingly, made things worse.
The most obvious step would be for them to move apart, and since Squall had made it clear that the last thing he wanted was to carry Zell around like excess weight, he didn't even see the need to discuss it with his...ex-boyfriend first.
Better get it over and done with before he started doing something undignified, like crying.
"Yes, considering," Cid agreed. "I'm sorry to say."
While Cid rummaged through his drawers for the right form, Zell took a moment to ease the sudden stab in his heart. If everyone thought them better off separated, why hadn't anyone said anything before? It might have saved them a lot of trouble.
"Ah, here it is Lets see 1st class SeeD Lieutenant Zell Dincht Room 208... I'm assuming you want it right away. Right.... and a signature at the bottom, please."
Zell signed the form with a hand unsteady from trepidation, feeling suddenly empty. It shouldn't be this easy to sign away all you had ever wanted.
A knock on the door pulled him out of his misery.
"Thank you, sir," he said, rising from the chair at the same time the door opened behind him.
"I'll have your key card reactivated after this meeting. And I am really sorry, Zell. Truly."
"Me too, sir." He turned quickly, moved despite of himself by Cid's obvious concern, and almost ran straight into a formally dressed man who he'd never seen before. The man, who seemed to go on for forever towards the ceiling, only spared him the briefest of contemptuous glares before ignoring him completely and turned to Cid instead.
Just as he exited the office, Cid's phone rang. The Headmaster answered with profuse excuses to his guest and then suddenly called Zell back.
"We apparently have a new flight plan, Lieutenant Dincht," Cid was always formal when giving orders and/or in the company of other officials. "They are requesting assistance in the Engine room. Are you available for duty?"
"Yes, sir."
"Good, I'll let them know you're coming."
-----
Squall couldn't help but frown and glare a little as Nida, suddenly nervous, explained the need for a new route. Apparently they were headed directly for a massive storm, currently sweeping in over Dollet and would reach Deling City shortly. To avoid it they needed head a few degrees south instead, passing over the desolate lands surrounding the Desert Prison.
"Why is this such a big deal?" he asked, after authorizing the new plan. "Usually I get a call and I say yes or no. Suddenly you need me coming up here in person, and Quistis too, just for a few degrees?"
Squall may not be a huge fan of coordinates and such but he knew that a few degrees wasn't just like hopping a few steps to the right, but that the slightest altercation took them miles out of the way. But still, it wasnt like they'd accidentally end up in Centra.
"It's just that it takes us off neutral ground, Commander. Not that Deling is our enemy anymore, but we will be flying unauthorized over their domain for a while, sir."
"Well, I certainly hope youll ascertain authorization as soon as possible," Quistis said sternly.
"Yes ma'am," Nida nodded fiercely. "We're contacting Deling City as we speak."
"Good."
Squall let out a deep sigh, and rubbed at his temples, suddenly feeling so dreadfully tired. Ever since hed left Zell that morning, he'd incessantly thought of the blond and he had tried calling, but no one answered. Knowing Zell, he was probably off somewhere, over-thinking things. He knew he hadn't been very diplomatic about the situation, expressing himself rather vaguely of what it was he actually wanted, but he couldn't really thing about that now.
He could do that later when he was back in his office with nothing better to do than to self-pity and stare at the wall.
He tried to look more certain when he caught Quistis concerned frown.
"Does your head hurt?"
Squall snorted quietly, thinking of the massive bottle of painkillers that Dr Kadowaki had prescribed him just last week when his headaches reached massive proportions and Quistis had been forced to all but drag him to the Infirmary when hed been unable to access his own office.
"No, I'm just a little tired." It wasn't a lie as much as it was an enormous understatement, a contradiction in itself. "Feels like I could sleep for a-"
Garden suddenly shuddered, the kind of shake that no natural turbulence could cause, followed by that gut-tickling feeling you get from roller-coasters, of a high-speed altitude change. A big red light began blinking on the control panel and Nida breathlessly announced:
"Missile hit on the lower starboard decks! We're losing power, the Engine room must be hit."
"Can you set her down?" Squall demanded, already running the evacuation plans in his head.
"Maybe, sir," Nida didnt even seem sure about that. "The ballast tanks that keeps us balanced has been disrupted. Right now the only reason we're not plummeting to the ground is because were still moving from momentum. Once we slow, well drop like a stone."
Or like a gigantic inhabited air-ship.
"Missile? Didn't you just alert Deling that we were here?" Quistis asked no one in particular, looking angry, probably in an attempt to mask her fear.
"Can we do anything?" Squall asked instead, keeping his cool exterior firmly in place. This was so not the time for him to have that freak-out he had suspected was just one more serious issue away.
Nida opened his mouth then closed it, only to repeat the process, so Squall continued.
"We must assume the Engine room is completely incapacitated, they would've done what they could, if they could do it. Is there something else?"
Nida thought for a few agonizingly slow seconds, before shrugging.
"If we try to inflate the helium tanks we use for water-travel it might make us marginally lighter."
"Do it."
"Squall!"
Selphie came running into the control-room, staring wildly around. "What happened?"
Seifer came in behind her, Hyperion strapped at his waist. "We under attack?"
"We've taken a missile on the lower decks, possibly hitting the Engine room."
Selphie suddenly turned ghostly pale and Quistis hurried to her side to guide her to a chair. "Irvine...."
Squall sympathized but there was nothing he could do for her except make sure Garden got to the ground as safely as was possible.
"We don't know how bad things are yet." As if that was any comfort.
"What do we do?" Seifer asked, coming closer so Squall wouldn't have to talk so loud.
"We're crashing," he admitted. "We need to prevent Garden from overturning and Nida thinks the filling the helium tanks might help."
Seifer scoffed. "That's about as helpful as trying to parachute with drink-umbrellas. You want me to do it?"
Squall nodded and Seifer was already running for the door.
Too bad he couldn't be that efficient on a normal day.
"Squall," Quistis said, crouching by Selphie. "You need to say something."
She pointed at the announcement-speaker above the door and Squall reached for the microphone.
"This is Commander Leonheart speaking. We have been hit by a missile on the lower decks and as a result we are losing power. I need everyone to evacuate to the top decks as far as it is possible and brace for an emergency landing. All SeeDs and cadets of Balamb Garden, report to C-deck immediately. Please remain calm. That is all."
As soon as the transmission was done, Squall turned and addressed the control room at large.
"We need to send a team down to the Engine room, to estimate damage and casualties."
Selphie sobbed, but it needed to be done and she knew it.
"I want a base set up where we can do an accurate headcount and-"
Suddenly everything tilted and as Squall fell forward, the control panel with its red and yellow lights blinking ferociously, rose up to meet him, his head banging against the unforgiving metal and he heard Nida scream, "Second hit, second hit, were going down!", before he blacked out.
I think that's the closest thing to a cliffhanger I have accomplished ever....
Please review!
PS: God, I have such a bad feeling about this......
Hugs, Z