This is the first fic I've ever published. I wrote it completely spontaneously and I have yet thought of how it will be continued.

I hope you'll like it! Please let me know!

"I just wanted to be happy for once, you know? And I've almost had it. I could touch it with my bare hands, I could have had it that moment and then it slipped again. Once again my 'happy ending' is taken away from me. Once again I am left with nothing but sorrow and misery. Once again I am all by myself and no one can or would understand where I'm… standing… Gosh, I can't even believe I'm talking to you about this."

Regina and Belle were in The Rabbit Hole and both of them were on the edge between drunk and sober… it's like, one more shot and both of them will forget this whole night. Regina was spilling her heart out and Belle was just listening, understanding, as a matter of fact, because her Rumple has just betrayed her, and she is feeling the same thing.

"And you know what? For my whole life I just wanted to explore the world, to learn, to know more. And for some reason, I never got to do all of those things. For some reason this stupid man I love so much turned out to be a complete power-holic. He couldn't fucking realize how much I freaking love him. He was supposed to be my happy ending. I was supposed to be his. I married him for eff's sake. Gosh."

"At least he didn't leave you to go save his zombie wife. And speaking of that, you know what I wanted to do for my entire life? I just wanted to be free. I wanted to be free and now I'm stuck with this whole love thing but I actually can't stand the thought of this man anymore, it's like the memory of him is just hunting me every single minute of every single day of every single week. Ugh."

"So let's forget. Don't you think it's easier to just forget? Who needs men? They're stupid little boys who just seek stupid things to make them happy. And they just don't realize we can make them the happiest stupid boys in the world. Ugh, why is this life so full of stupid?"

Regina is taking Belle's advice and ordering two shots of vodka for the both of them. Maybe that will help them forget these stupid boys. She could make a forgetting potion, but she doesn't actually want to forget about him. And she doesn't believe Belle wants to forget about Rumple either. They both just need to forget about this mess for a while. Adjust the life they are expected to live right now without their soul mates.

So they drink. And, oh, they drink a lot more than just two more shots. It's like both of them finished a whole bottle of vodka each. And, gosh, this stuff is strong. Apparently they are some sort of friends as of these moments. They've shared their feelings and that must be good enough for both of them tonight.

They leave the bar together, walking by foot because the bartender took their car keys, and, well, honestly their houses are not that far away from the place. Both of them are swaying and swinging and hanging on each other's shoulders. Belle ripped her high heels off of her legs and left them at the bar, and Regina decides to do it now as they walk on the streets, without even stopping, just as they walk she is hopping and grasping Belle's shoulder. They laugh with every step they take, and it's so weird to look at. Thank God there's no one there to see them. It's almost sunrise and most, if not all, of the town's residents are inside their homes and still sleeping. No one is there to see them being their drunkest selves.

A flash of light is hitting their eyes. It's the sheriff's car. Apparently there are people in this town who aren't asleep. Emma is pulling off next to them, making them get inside the car and gives them a ride to their houses.

Regina calls shotgun and Belle is sitting behind the driver's seat, half asleep or maybe just exhausted in general. "So, what now, getting super drunk is going to be the answer to all of your problems?" Emma says, looking at Belle through the rear-view mirror, and then checking out Regina's response to her words. "Ugh, do you really expect me to answer that question?" Regina is answering back, half laughing at her sheriff's question, half trying to figure it out in her own mind (as much as possible in that moment).

She opens her eyes slowly; it's too bright to be able to take a decent look at the outside world. She stands up, going directly to the window, closing the drapes immediately and grubbing her face one more time before trying to open her eyes and get a look at the place she just found herself in. Belle is lost in this room and has absolutely no idea where she is. What is this place?

She is exploring it by every inch of it – it's actually starting to look a bit more familiar. Is it Regina's place? What the eff is she doing in that place? She turns around and there is a mirror next to her, a body length mirror that covers her whole reflection. She realizes that these are the same clothes she's worn when she got out of the house yesterday… to go get a drink at The Rabbit Hole. Oh my God, The Rabbit Hole, ohh my God.

Well, at least her memories are mostly intact, though she really wishes to forget about all the things she said to the former Evil Queen. Where is this evil queen anyway? "Regina? Regina!" she is sort of asking the air because there's no one there to answer her. Regina has left the place a long time ago herself. She didn't mind letting the petite girl stay in that room sleeping on the floor, next to the bed, after the weird night they both happened to share. It is best to not run into her as far as Regina's concerned, and, actually, there is another woman she is going to see at the moment.

But first, she has to take a stop at the place she just left a few hours ago. The bartender from The Rabbit Hole's got her keys and she can't drive her car without them. She is still a bit dizzy from last night's happy hour, and yet, with her dark sunglasses, she's entering the room, going straight to the bar and asking for her keys with no shame on her face. Or at least she's trying so very hard to deny it.

The bartender murmurs something about last night and she doesn't even pay him any attention. As he is talking about one subject she is asking him for a single shot of straight up vodka, drinks it immediately and off she goes, not responding to his questions, nor trying to seem listening to his bull even for a bit.

She turns her back and again she's on the streets of the town she's expected to act as a mayor to. Walking through the same roads she was swinging at with her friend last night. Can she even really consider her as a friend? She finds her car and drives away to the sheriff's department. She has another woman to deal with right now.

Regina enters the building, taking a deep breath before going to see the blonde sheriff and putting her normal mask on her face, as she always does when she has to come across a Charming family member. She takes off the sunglasses and sets them to rest in her coat's pocket. She walks through the door but before taking another step she decides to stop at that point because she can hear what's going on on the other side of the wall.

It's Hook. And oh, how much Regina Mills can't stand Hook. He is there and he's with Emma and he probably does something that makes Emma forget what her job is. She's supposed to act as a sheriff for this town, damn it.

She can hear him kissing her lips and she is just so disgusted she can't help herself from making a noise that will clarify these two they're not the only ones in that room. You'd think this is something that implies Regina is jealous of Hook, when actually she just can't stand the idea of people getting their happy ending when they don't deserve it – in her opinion.

Hook has done nothing to justify the good he's getting. And she? She's changed, she was good. No, she is good. She deserves to be happy. She deserves a happy ending as much as this Pirate, if not more.

Emma finally pays attention to Regina's existence and breaks Hook off of her touch. She's sending her a sharp look and then tells the leather-wearing pirate to mind his own business and leave the hell out of this place. Well… not really. She just told him to leave… so she can do what she's paid to do without his distraction, but Regina likes to imagine she's not the only one who can't stand the sight of his constant smug face.

"Miss Swan," Regina says sharply with a single nod, "I need to clarify a few things about last night…" she hesitates and her voice is a little bit more fragile than before when she says the last words of that sentence.

"It's okay Regina. You don't have to clarify anything. I know what it's like to get drunk as hell just because you're trying so hard to forget about every single thing that's happening in your life. But just remember you have Henry on your side. I can understand you not wanting to talk to me…" she pauses for a moment to take a single breath, "but you two still have that little operation of yours and even if you don't want my help with this anymore, I don't want to piss you off, Regina. So… I just understand. You don't need to clarify anything as long as it's only between the two of us."

Regina's face seems to be more welcoming now, for some reason. It's like she is surprised by Emma's little speech of brutal honesty, and her face approves this approach toward her. Though she knows Emma's got the wrong idea in mind. Regina actually doesn't mind Emma, she's just come to make sure there's no doubt about last night's behavior and to be certain that Emma is not going to judge her too much because of it.

Emma comes closer to Regina's face and it almost seems as she is going to hug her, but then it's like she's getting closer to whisper in her ear. And the outcome is terrifying. What the hell is this woman talking about? "I did what now Miss Swan?"

"Don't you even recall, Regina? I thought this was… what, what the actual... I don't get you Regina Mills. You kissed me. You kissed me last night while you were totally drunk, and you even told me that you liked me. And what the hell is going on with you right now? Don't you even recall?" she gets closer to her once again, after she backed off a bit to be able to shout without destroying the brunette's ear, and now she's looking straight into Regina's eyes, "I know you were drunk Regina, but I also know when you're lying. And this, this was real," she lowers her tone, "it was real and you meant it and now I really don't get where this is coming from. And you don't even remember."

Regina is actually just shocked. She really doesn't remember anything about what that woman said. Can this thing even be real? I mean, does Regina Mills like Emma Swan? But, like-like, actually like her, that way? The kind of way the involves kissing? And oh wow, what about Belle? Did she witness that said kiss? And what if she has? Oh wow. She can't even bring herself to speak, to say something, anything. She's absolutely shocked.

"Oh, and, yeah, in case you were wondering, I don't think anyone saw us. And I haven't told Hook, or anyone else for that matter. Do you care to respond to this apparently brand new information now, Madam Mayor?" the sheriff asks, teasing, even hurtful for a minute. She takes the paper cup that used to contain her morning coffee from her desk and turns her back to Regina in order to throw it to the garbage can that's behind her. She then stays near it and waits for her now not-so-friend's answer, her hands crossed.

"I… I don't…" Regina is absolutely freaking out by this and has no idea of what is going to happen from now on between the two of them, plus what the hell is she supposed to say to her? Does she want to hear her say she really does like her? Maybe she wants to hear this was just some kind of a weird joke? What the hell does this woman want to hear?

Instead of giving her a satisfying answer, she opens her mouth and murmurs something about God's holy mother. She takes off from the station and driving her car to get to her house as soon as possible.

When she gets to her place she's so confused about what she just heard and she is trying to recall some stuff about last night. She can see Emma's Yellow Bug on her mind. She recalls herself getting into it and Belle sitting across from her. She also recalls getting out of the car with Emma's help while Belle is ahead of her and gets inside the mansion before the two of them. But everything after that is still a blur. Maybe she'd recall the rest of it later?

No. She needs to know now. There must be something in the pawnshop that can give her her memories back, so she decides to go there and look for anything that can do that. Now that Rumple isn't there it's supposed to be easier than ever.

She gets in and first it seems like the shop is closed because she can't find a living soul in it. But no, Belle comes out of nowhere, still has the look of an under-the-influence girl. She was the last person she wanted to see, to be honest, but now it's too late.

"Hi there, Madam Mayor," Belle says, with half a smile "what brings you here?" Belle doesn't recall most of these moments either. She has no memories starting from the moment the two of them left the Hole, and as far as Regina is concerned, that's a joy.

She uses a quick spell to freeze Belle for a moment and starts sniffing around, looking for something that will suit her purpose. She knows Henry must come pretty soon and she has to hurry before she won't be able to find what she's searching.

Oh, there it is – her potion. Well, the missing ingredient to make that potion she needs so hard to make. She takes it immediately and pours it into a larger bottle, shakes it for a bit and drinks all of the purple stuff in it.

It's weird now. Because she can understand the touch of Emma Swan's lips on hers, and for some reason it doesn't feel so bad. She can't admit it feels good, and for some other, even weirder reason, it reminds her of Robin, and of how much she despises the idea of him leaving her there, alone, by herself. Making her so fragile she befriends Belle French and kisses a blonde Savior. But it did feel good. It did. She is once again terrified by her own mind and decides to run off to The Rabbit Hole. Belle is back to normal, still hung-over though.

This is happy hour again. For Regina Mills it's been the happy hour for every hour these past few days. So she drinks. She drinks and it's not even afternoon. You can still see a ray of light behind the window but she still keeps asking for another drink and yet another shot of straight-up vodka.

She's been there for hours now, drinking her soul out, and Belle is joining her now. It's like it's the usual deal by now. Regina is drinking, then Belle comes along, then both of them drink together. And it's like that for another day and another night and it has been that way for at least a couple of weeks if not more by now. Both of them really need to stop it somehow but apparently they just enjoy each other's company.

They had started drinking in Regina's mansion. They drink some sort of a weird mix they invented that involves vodka and wine, and for some reason they find it delicious. They are less drinking and more bitching every time they meet. Maybe they just enjoy not being alone, they don't need the alcohol anymore but they still use it. Not as much as before but they can still find themselves intoxicated at sunrise in the middle of the living room or on their way to the kitchen, trying to remember what had happened hours before.

One night they are completely wasted, talking about their little stupid boys and then somehow, for an unknown reason, they are speaking about their first night out, at The Rabbit Hole.

They talk about how Emma Swan was picking them from the streets with no shoes on their legs. Then Regina suddenly says, "You know I kissed her that night?" she laughs out loud, "I kissed her and I told her I like her looks. And more importantly, I liked the taste of her lips. But I haven't told her that. I haven't told anyone about it," she break off with a big laughter again and then continues, Belle's face seems more serious as she goes, "In fact; I haven't spoken to her since a day after that. I think Henry is onto something. He always pays attention to this kind of stuff. Do you think I'm in trouble?"

Belle is completely shocked to hear this news. Who wouldn't be, actually? The Evil Queen kisses the lips of Snow White's Savior girl? Is this world even real, or is it a dream?

"Wow… that's… Regina, you aren't messing with me are you? I know you can do this sort of stuff-" Belle finally says, still can't believe what she just heard, and then Regina interrupt in the middle of her friend's words; "No no, I'm not messing with you Belle, I actually kissed her. I kissed a girl and I liked it! Does that make me gay?" she bursts off with laughter, then takes another sip from her glass filled with this weird red mixture.

She is so confused herself and has so many questions that it's even more terrifying just to think about it. What the hell is she expected to do anyway? She can't love her, nor build a 'relationship' with that woman. So what if she likes kissing her? She can't do anything about it.

"And what about Hook? Emma likes him. They are together and… does he know about this?" Belle asks, digging more into it and trying to figure out what to say to her friend, as if she could help with this huge mess in her life.

Once again a huge mess, might as well be dead as far as Regina's concerned, oh she is so sick and tired of her love life. She can do solo just fine, so why the heck bother that much? "You know what, I actually have no clue. As I said, Emma and I haven't spoken since. Back then she said she hasn't told him or anyone else, but, you know, after all this time. I can't tell. Maybe she has because we don't even interact these days, she can do whatever she desires to do with this information, I stopped caring what people think a long, long time ago. But I do think Hook wouldn't let this go so easily, so she must've kept it a secret."

The rescue comes from an unexpected place. The doorbell makes a noise and then a little boy seems to be shouting a thing from outside. It's Henry. He always knows the moment to come see his mom.

Regina gets up and walks towards the door to open it for her son and welcome him in. He must have felt the tension between his moms and he is there to get some answers, and he won't leave until he gets them.

"Are you alright mom?" he starts asking. Not waiting for a clear answer and then continues, "You and mom seem to ignore each other lately and I don't get what is going on between the two of you. Does that have anything to do with Robin Hood?" That's her son, always so sharp, not politically correct, asking directly about what he wishes to know.

"No, it has nothing to do with him. Emma and I are… we're O.K." She makes sure she doesn't name this man she is so desperately trying to forget. And mentioning Emma's name is the less of two evils.

"So why are you two avoiding any kind of contact? You can barely say her name without using a tone or making a weird face. Tell me what's going on – or I'll start guessing!"

"Henry I'm telling you to drop it. Really, it's nothing." Her tone is somehow softer. It's like she's overwhelmed with feelings that she just can't bring herself to speak in her mother-ish tone. He makes an unsatisfied face so she continues, "Fine, fine, Henry. I really do not want to talk to you about this. At least not without Emma. This is something that if we decide to tell you, it's supposed to be the two of us together. So no, unless I speak to her, I'm not going to talk to you about it. Absolutely not."

"Are you happy now, mom? But, really happy?" He finally asks. Regina feels a bit blind-sided.

"Why are you asking me this? I have you. And you make me happy. You're all I need. It doesn't matter 'he' is gone and Emma…" she looks down for a moment, and then back at him, "I have you. And we need to continue with our operation."

"I'm asking because you could be the happiest in the world, and yet, you decide to run away. You always do mom. I may not know what happened between you and mom, but I know you. And the only reason you'd ever run away is because you see happiness in your eyes. And the only way you can achieve it is if you'd stick around and not run away. The only reason you'd run away is because you're too afraid of happiness. This is you. I know you… and you probably saw that tiny bitsy bit of happiness in Emma... or… something. I don't know. I really can't think of anything else, because… if you two would be fighting hard, I would have known about it by now."

What Tinker Bell had trouble understanding all of these years, her son figured out in no time. She is afraid. She is afraid to love and to be loved. She always runs away. In fact; the only time she wanted to run away and it wasn't because she was afraid to be happy, was because she knew what her happiness could have looked like and she wanted so badly to achieve it. To be free, to be loved… but she couldn't.

And ever since that failed attempt at happiness, she's been afraid to love and afraid to come across a not-so-happy happiness.

She is afraid to have false hope and then to fail yet again. Because Robin Hood was supposed to be her darn happy ending but he took off anyway. Leaving her heart broken once again. She's crushed. Once again her happy ending turned out to be just a bull, and destiny betrayed her. Her destiny turned out to be an entirely different one.

But what if… what if Emma can be this happy ending? Well, her lips did feel nice. Impossible. Too good to be true, so it can't be, in any way. Plus, she's not gay, Emma has Hook and they seem to be very happy as much as Regina can say. And why even think about it? It was just a kiss. It was a damn good kiss, but is that enough? No, it probably isn't.

But… actually, they really need to talk about it, because she didn't speak with Emma... she could barely remember it when Emma was so eager to bring that subject up. Maybe she should listen to her? And anyway, it's not good for her son to be stuck between his two moms and that they're not on good terms… both of them just need to talk it out. For Henry's sake. Yeah, for Henry's sake.

"Fine, Henry. I was going to go see Emma anyway. We need to talk about something-" she catches the look on his face and says immediately, "something that has nothing to do with what you think or may not think that we are going to talk about. Well… that… you understood me. That's it. So… I'm gonna stay here for a while with, um, Belle, that's here by the way, and then I'll go see your other mother." Suddenly recalls her friend is still there, cozying up near the fireplace, probably thinking about what her drinking buddy had told her (though Regina really wishes she's going to find her drunk rather than wondering). "So you can go now and I'll show up later. Go to your mom's."

"That was Henry… he asked me to go and talk to Emma. I'm not so sure how I feel about this, I don't really want to talk to her, after… you know. But we do owe some explanations to Henry and I don't want our situation to wreck him and destroy what the three of us have built. It's painful enough that I can't speak to Emma directly and I can't even look her in the eyes… I don't want Henry to get hurt by this as well. Emma and I should work things out. Talk About this, together… we need to decide what to do. Right?"

"Regina, I really can't say… you know it. Plus I think I'm drunk and this fireplace seems awesome so I think you should go away and I'll just keep sitting here, okay? It's very cozy."

Belle wasn't really that drunk, she just wanted to push Regina as quick as she could so she'd go to Emma's. She did think about Emma and Regina for a few moments, and it just seemed to make sense to her. It's very symbolic – the Evil Queen who cast a curse falls in love with the Savior who broke it. It's like they were meant for each other from the very beginning.

Regina didn't mind let her friend stay in her home, they were so used to this place by now. Belle has basically become her roommate since Rumple's gone and both of them have actually sort of connected since that day. They are related now because the men they loved betrayed them, each in his own way.

Belle is crushed and broken and just needs a friend that she's glad to have found in Regina. The latter is just in denial and wishes to forget about this Robin. He's just a stupid man that left her alone for the ideal of having a family, one he would never get back, but a family… and even though she can see where he's coming from, it's still annoying.

Why couldn't he love her instead of leaving with his wife? Well, she got over him by now. Or she wishes to be… she's working on it.

Now she has to deal with another stupid person. Emma Swan just ignores her, and, well, it's not like she's trying too hard to reach her herself. She drives her car to Emma's place, or the whole Charming family's place, she can't seem to care about it that much. She knows Emma is going to be there so she prepares herself for this weird talk and for some reason she's more upset and nervous than she could ever remember herself.

The thought of having to come across the meaning of that kiss she shared with Emma Swan is just… weird. Is she ready for that talk? Maybe she could use a little bit more time? No, no. She wants to do it now, at least for Henry's sake, she must.

So she drives over to her place. When she knocks on the door her hands are sweaty and a bit shaking. She doesn't even know what she's about to say. They kissed. It's weird and she wasn't ready for that… she could barely remember that afterwards. But she knew that every day they go on without discussing this subject, is basically another day that it becomes a bigger burden on her heart. And she just wants to get it over with, to move on, to be able to live her life normally without any stupid issues of guilt, lies… without a need to hide something regarding her feelings.

She's so sick and tired of this wall she's built up to hide everything she feels. She wants to be able to feel a thing without the fear of people using it against her. It appears she can do that only when she's drunk, or when speaking to a drunk, because she and Belle have been talking about these issues for quite some time now.

Or maybe it's because Belle can understand her, she's been where Regina is now, she knows what it's like to be in pain because of what you feel. She knows how much a heart can make you do and feel mad stuff.

Mary Margaret opens the door for Regina, who is surprised to see her. Regina thought they were going to be just her and Emma in that place… but it's probably not possible in that little apartment. Why didn't I curse her into a bigger place?

"Um, hey… is Emma here?" she asks quietly. Fear in her eyes and her hands behind her back. Henry comes to the door and invites his mom in. May Margaret says something about Emma sitting near the table, then she goes up the stairs to leave the three of them alone.

Emma's hands are covering her face, she seems to be crying or just sad, but anyway, it's not something Regina is used to see in her. She wonders what had happened to make her do that.

"You should just go talk to her. Ask her how she's doing. She won't tell me, she said it was a grown up thing but she didn't want to tell grandma either. So just go talk to her." Henry provides his older mother a background of the situation, and then leaves the two of them alone.

Regina actually doesn't know what to say to her. They're not in that place, they can't speak about that kind of stuff, they're not there yet. How is she supposed to make Emma talk about what she didn't want to say to her own family? She is nervous and a bit uncomfortable, she almost forgets what she came for in the first place, but it appears they won't be talking about it anyway, and perhaps it's for the best.

She decides to grab a chair and seat on the other side of the table, facing Emma, whose hands are still grabbing her head. She just seats there, in silent, not saying a word, as if she could know what to say anyway… after a few minutes Emma takes a look at who's sitting next to her and her face is red and she really has been crying, it appears.

Regina's face is clenching and she really doesn't know what to say. It's like she wants to help but she doesn't know how. Emma seems to be loathing Regina's face and her look is even angry, one can say.

When you think of someone that cries you probably think they're fragile and broken, but not her, she seems to be strong, not breaking. Or maybe she's in pain but won't let it out? Regina can't say exactly, it's something between anger and sadness altogether. She can tell it's complicated but of course she can't even imagine what had happened to her to make her look or feel that way. What is going on?

"Emma I-", she begins but then the blonde interrupts, "I broke up with Hook." Emma inhales and then exhales deeply.

She did cry and she's upset because she doesn't want her feelings to expose her that much. But she cries not because of him. No, you'd be surprised but it has nothing to do with him. Actually, she's relieved to let him go.

Regina just sits there in front of her, listening. "But, you know what's worse? I broke up with him because, well, apparently, I just don't feel anything for him. He was trying to make it a relationship but I'm just not ready to make that step with him. And I know it's just because it's him. Because…"

Emma stops for a moment to consider her words, then continues, "I know this because I do feel something for someone else. I can even see myself with that someone, but with Killian it's not possible. I don't love him. Maybe I never have. And I did cry and it was because I know that that someone that I do feel something for doesn't feel the same way and it's frustrating. This could be great but this person is too scared to admit or say that they love me back."

"Well, maybe they assume the same thing, or maybe they're waiting for you to say it first."

"But what if I'm scared to take the first step?"

"Maybe the other one is even more scared?" Regina stares at her friend's eyes. The other does the same.

They both share a long look; as if they both know they were talking about each other.

Like both of them love each other more than anything and are just too afraid to ever say it out loud. Like both of them realize that they could really have a nice future together but they never would because they're too scared. Like it's weird to think of a future when they aren't even able to say 'I love you-s' to each other.

They share this look and they know immediately what it means. Like they need no words to express what they feel for each other. Like they can actually leave it behind and it wouldn't matter, because they can understand without speaking.

That look they share says 'kiss me'. No, it screams 'kiss me'.

The only thing they can think of now is the other's lips. Their eyes are focused on the other woman's lips and it's like they are trying to hurt the other's soul by testing their limits. It's like they are in a middle of a fight and it's up to the one that cracks first to kiss the other.

Every look and every single blink is another sword to the chest.

Emma kisses her.

Her lips are on Regina's and they close their eyes and kiss. Regina's hands are on Emma's face, touching her passionately, filling her with warmness and love. This kiss is special. It's even more real than anything both of them have ever felt. Emma's hands are on Regina's neck, sliding to her cheeks then touch her beautiful brown hair. They kiss and now it's a better one than the last kiss they've had.

But no. They can't. Regina pushes her and Emma's hands detach from her face and their lips are breaking apart. Regina opens her eyes a second after Emma and takes a deep breath.

"No, I can't do this. We can't do this, Emma. I came here to talk to you. Exactly about this. I can't do this. I can't do nothing. What are we doing here with this? Where are we going with this?" Regina asks the woman in front of her, despair in her eyes and an angry tone. Longing to know more of what she thinks, wanting to hear with her own ears what the blonde has to say. Still surprised of how determined she sounds. Now just waiting for her answer. Wishing to hear the things she herself thinks of.

"You know, you're not the first girl I've kissed. I've had experiences. Once there was this girl that I liked. And I think she liked me too. She looked a lot like you actually… now, when I think about it. Anyway, we kissed. I was like… 16 or so. And that was when I realized I liked girls, too. You know, it was a really big deal for me then. And then I discovered she was lying to me the whole time. We were good friends and more. But she lied to me and I had to leave after I learned the truth about her. She betrayed me in a way, I think; I will never get over it." She's been playing with her fingers without paying attention.

She puts her hands to rest on the table, closer to Regina's, and then glances over to meet the other woman's eyes yet again. "And then you come and you kiss me and you vanish for weeks. What am I supposed to get from this? I broke up with Hook because I know I don't love him that way. And I did like that kiss we had. Both of them, actually, but… did you like it? Will you ever tell me or are you too scared to admit it even to yourself?"

Regina is silent. She just really doesn't know how to respond to this. She knows she liked these kisses too. But is it enough? Is it enough to know whether or not she wants to take their relationship to another level?

"I don't know, Emma. It's like… you know. I liked kissing you. It was weird but it was nice as well. But I am afraid. What if we give this a chance and then it would be the worst thing we'd ever have? What about Henry then? You know, he was the one to push me here, I was even too scared to talk to you and I didn't know how you'd react if I speak with you. I was – I am – still confused and I have no idea what I want to do. But what if we decide to take that step and we fail? We have a son to think about. And a whole family that is very likely listening to every word we are saying right now but, you know, who cares now since we've been revealing stories and secrets since the second this conversation started…" the blonde cuts her, "Stop the crap, Regina. What I asked you is pretty simple. You don't need to use Henry or my parents as an excuse. At least tell me just something."

"It's not crap, Emma. We actually have to think about it. There is nothing in this world right now that I wish to do more than to stick my lips onto yours. But-" the realization of the words she just said is striking her slowly and the last words she said can barely be heard.

After a moment she completes the idea, "But I can't do it because, well, first of all I don't even know if I can love you. Robin just left and it is still painful. What if I'm just confused and this thing is a big mistake? Or, what if it's not a mistake and I do like you… that way? I don't know and I'm too afraid to try and find out. You have to understand that I don't have that 'history' or any experience with this kind of things. You can't be angry at me for something I don't even understand myself. It would be much more helpful if you would help me figure it out. You know, with me. Would you?"

"Regina…" Emma is pretty shocked to hear this coming from her. After all, Regina was never the kind of person that will spill anything that's on their mind in front of you. Maybe she is wanting to trust her, maybe this is her way to tell her that she is willing to try something together. Maybe Emma should really give that a real chance, together, 'trying to figure things out', as Regina said. If she's insecure, I'll be there for her.