Chapter One.
All he could think of was escape but time seemed to stand still and his sense of damned duty kept him where he was. The groans of injured patients filled the air adding to his torment and every second was a battle to concentrate on the body currently in front of him. With an extreme effort of will Dr Hunnicutt focused exclusively on healing the shattered people who were placed in front of him, putting aside the fear that filled his mind until he had the time to deal with it.
Isolated moments lodged in his mind to assault his senses in the instants between patients. There was the seventeen year old boy whose body was nearly severed in two by a landmine. Then came the father of two caught in the shrapnel of a fragmenting jeep; he was, unfortunately from BJ's point of view, able to talk until the succinylcholine kicked in so BJ learned more than he needed to know about Becky and Wentworth the man's children. Blood up to his elbows. The death rattle of someone whose name he couldn't even remember. A blur of horror echoing in his head.
Twenty seven hours. Twenty fucking seven hours. BJ was barely able to stand vertical by the time the last patient was moved to a bed and it would forever remain a mystery to him how he covered the distance between the operating room and the Swamp. In his perception it seemed like one moment he was frantically sewing up a gaping wound and the next moment his pillow was rushing up to meet his face. As his spirit fell dizzily into sleep a thought passed incoherently through his mind, 'Hawk, Hawk what's happened to you?'
Reaching up with corrosive tendrils a dream took BJ's unconscious mind to a dark place. The dark dream place wasn't however all that different to the current part of hell BJ seemed to be living in. Bombs fell from the grey sky to explode in showers of blood on the ground, immediately sprouting and bursting into trees shaped like mutilated skeletons. Somewhere in the gruesome forest BJ could hear Hawkeye's voice pleading for help but he couldn't see his friend in the dim light and the mist of blood. Hawkeye's entreaties turned to screams and BJ jolted himself awake nearly falling out of bed.
It took BJ a long moment to realize that the screams he heard in his dream were in reality peals of thunder and that he wasn't actually on a battlefield but lying in his bed. He swung his legs over the edge of his cot and held his head in his hands until he was sure that his brain wasn't going to fall out. Gritting his teeth BJ shoved himself to his feet and stumbled out into the fresh night air attempting to get a handle on his fragmenting self-control. Feeling completely shaken he staggered through camp and eventually grabbed hold of the post marking the entrance to the unit.
The sentry on duty, Corporal Tollefson, was nodding at his post when BJ lurched up beside him nearly frightening him out of his skin. Patting his shoulder BJ leant against the gatepost and stood staring out into the night. When the sentry attempted to smother a cavernous yawn BJ took pity on him and gestured that the man should go get some sleep. 'I don't reckon I'll be getting back to sleep tonight.' He said quietly. 'Go to bed and I'll stand guard until the shift change.'
Once the sentry staggered away and he was all alone BJ had nothing to take his mind off the stormy low pressure that was triggering one hell of a headache and gripped in the unexpected pain he didn't notice the figure reeling towards him until he had no other option than to catch the man as he crumpled face first in the mud. It was to his complete incomprehension that the person he caught in mid faint was none other than Hawkeye.
Momentarily stunned BJ just knelt in the mud holding Hawkeye's limp body. His friend had been missing for the last three days along with Major Burns and for those three days BJ had been in constant conflict with Colonel Potter over the commanding officer's refusal to let him go and out and search. Now that he was unbelievably holding Hawk in his arms, the stress of the last few days hit hard and BJ was unable to stop burning tears from running down his face.
It took a few minutes for BJ to get a hold of himself but when he did he finally noticed the blood that covered Hawkeye and the wounds marring his body. Spurred into action by Hawk's dreadful condition BJ attempted to struggle to his feet while supporting his friend but was hindered by Hawk who had abruptly regained consciousness.
Suddenly BJ was trying to hold a thrashing tangle of fists as Hawkeye ferociously fought his grip. Briefly BJ tried to talk sense into his friend and trap his arms by his side but it seemed as if Hawkeye couldn't hear him and confining his arms just made him fight back harder. At his wits end BJ managed pin Hawk's elbows behind his back and though this provoked renewed struggles he was able to hold his friend still long enough to scream over the thunder for someone to come help him.
After a few moments that felt like an eternity BJ saw Colonel Potter and the sentry he had sent away come running across the camp. At this point BJ was standing behind Hawkeye attempting to restrain him and was totally wrong-footed when his friend unexpectedly went limp and collapsed again. As the rain began to fall Corporal Tollefson slid his hands under Hawkeye's armpits and when Colonel Potter lifted Hawk's feet they carried him as quickly as possible towards post op with BJ striding alongside Hawkeye's head.
They were drenched by the time they made it inside and the two carrying Hawkeye wasted no time in placing him gently on a bed. As BJ showed no signs of moving from Hawkeye's side Corporal Tollefson hurried out of the room and back to his duty while Colonel Potter sat heavily on a bed. Staring at the broken body of the man they had come to know as camp clown, the doctor and the Colonel felt anguish wash over them.
Brief words were had as Colonel Potter planned to bring in another doctor to observe Hawkeye but BJ was so adamant about staying to do the examination that the commander backed down. The Colonel was tempted to stay and monitor the situation but seeing the look in BJ's eye he reluctantly left the room. Alone with the unconscious body of his closest friend BJ finally let the tears flow down his cheeks.
Hurriedly wiping his eyes to stop the blurring of his vision BJ also tried to still the trembling in his hands. Grabbing a pad of paper BJ placed it on the bed and started the examination by gently probing Hawkeye's neck to see if there was any spinal damage. He let out a small sigh of relief when he felt no abnormalities and jotted a quick note on the paper. Gritting his teeth BJ then slightly turned Hawk's face toward him so he could see the damage done there.
BJ struggled to stay detached and not let his mind be overwhelmed by the sheer brutality of the punishment that Hawk had suffered. As his hands moved over Hawk's battered body noting ripped tendons and deep lacerations BJ could see in his mind the note that had been left on his bed three days ago. 'BJ, I'm off to torment the fine gentlemen of the 8063rd at the command of our illustrious leader for the next turn of the moon. Don't mope too much or the patients may expire from chronic blues. Keep an ear on the wind and you may hear a distant cry of 'Ferret Face' when it all gets too much. Yours in surgery and in distillation Hawk. PS Don't let the Swamp get too tidy without me, hold up your end good buddy.'
As the examination continued BJ scored the words harder and harder onto the paper. He was at the point of breaking down into tears when suddenly Hawkeye started shudder and groan. BJ immediately threw down his pad and grabbed Hawkeye's hand desperately trying to snap him out of the fit with sheer physical contact. Hawkeye opened blank fear filled eyes and for a long moment didn't seem to recognize the man sitting next to him but that moment passed and Hawkeye whispered his first word since making it back to camp, 'Beej…'
Unable to believe his eyes Hawkeye stared at the face he thought he was never going to see again. Convinced it was some cruel hallucination, he was still powerless to stop himself whispering, 'Beej…' The result blew his mind however because the apparition gasped and broke down in tears clutching his hand like Hawkeye himself was going to vanish. It was slowly penetrating his confused mind that this really did not feel like a dream.
Summoning all his strength Hawkeye made himself to ask a question he really didn't want answered if the answer was no. Forcing the words out he muttered, 'BJ, if you're really BJ, and my god I'm hoping you are… Am I really home? Is this really the 4077?'
When the possibly-BJ mutely nodded his head Hawkeye let himself sink back onto the bed, almost unable to comprehend that after the hell he had endured he was finally back at the camp. He had been living as if he were already dead for so long that he couldn't get his head around the fact that he was safe. Aware of BJ staring at him mutely Hawkeye attempted to summon a ghost of his old grin.
'So Beej,' he whispered in a desperate attempt to forestall the inevitable questions. 'Have you taken over the camp while I've been on holiday?' Hawk grimaced slightly as a brief flashback flickered behind his eyes but he hid it behind an exaggerated rub of his injured arm. Seeing that BJ was still trying string two words together he continued, 'Not that this place is a dump, but when are we going to make good my escape? I have a longstanding appointment with my lovely bed that I've been unable to keep…'
Hawkeye trailed off at the look in BJ's eyes. Drained of strength by even the effort of talking he gave up for the moment and waited for BJ to work out how to speak. Anxiety trickled down his spine as he knew that if he didn't get out of the post op room soon he might just go insane. He could smell the old blood from a thousand patients and it was all he could do to hold the flashbacks in his head to a dull roar.
BJ heard the words Hawkeye was saying but couldn't force them to make sense. The only thing to come out of Hawk's mouth that he understood was his own nickname. After a moment the unintelligible sounds began to make sense and BJ stared incredulously as Hawk made his play to get discharged to the Swamp. Opening his mouth BJ blurted out without thinking, 'Hawk, are you kidding? There's no way I can let you out of here in your condition. I mean hell, you're lucky I haven't had the chance to sedate you up to your eyeballs with the sheer amount of punishment you've taken…'
The deep silence following his words hinted to BJ that he might not have said quite the right thing and when he looked up at Hawkeye again he cursed himself as several different kinds of brainless dipshit. At BJ's thoughtless outburst Hawk had withdrawn into himself, the life fading from his eyes. He rolled laboriously over to face the wall and despite another hour of BJ reasoning, threatening and finally shamelessly pleading he refused to say another word. Hurt and bewildered at his friend's uncharacteristic withdrawal BJ sat silently by Hawk's bed until he was forced to leave for his shift and relinquish his vigil to a relieving doctor.
After a blurry shift that could have contained costumed nurses doing the can-can for all he knew, BJ all but threw off his scrubs and hurried to post op. He entered the quiet room and made it about three strides in before he noticed something new and decidedly odd. Haphazardly hung around a single bed in the corner was an old sheet and standing watch by the make-shift curtain was a grim looking guard. When BJ hesitantly approached the corner that clearly contained Hawkeye the guard stepped forward and dispassionately informed him that the patient had requested no visitors and no exceptions.
Stunned almost speechless BJ tried everything to convince the guard that Captain Pierce was his patient and that it was imperative that he be allowed access to him but apparently the orders had come from on high. Upon being informed curtly that he would need to talk to Colonel Potter BJ spun on his heel and stalked from the room muttering under his breath. When he reached the Colonel's office he stormed in without knocking and slammed his fists down on the desk in an atypical display of temper.
'Goddammit Colonel, if I can't see my patient how can I fix him?' BJ growled angrily. 'A no visitors rule is all fine and good but I'm his doctor and his best friend, how the hell can you keep me from seeing him?'
Sherman Potter had been sitting calmly at his desk, seemingly unruffled while he waited for BJ to vent his spleen. Once he was sure that BJ had finished Potter glared at his surgeon and snapped, 'Sit down Captain so that we can talk about this reasonably.' Waiting until BJ slumped resentfully into a chair the Colonel continued, 'Pierce has asked that you be taken off his case due to a conflict of interest and after that little episode Hunnicutt I'm inclined to agree with his judgement. He has also requested to have no visitors at all and at this point in his recovery I see no reason to force company on him. Do you have any medical opinion to contradict this Captain? Because if not I'm sorry to say that this discussion is over.'
Listening sourly BJ was shaking his head before the Colonel had even finished. 'But Colonel, Hawk… I mean Captain Pierce is hardly in the right state of mind to be making decisions about his care. I am the best surgeon here and dammit I'm his closest friend! This is… I don't even… For Christ's sake please Colonel, just let me talk to him!'
Rising to his feet Colonel Potter looked BJ straight in the eye and scowled forbiddingly. 'I don't care if you're Lord High Operating General of the Universe or Pierce's own mother, when a patient requests no visitors then by God he gets his privacy. Now I'm ordering you to report to Nurse Yamato and organize the inventory of the medical supplies. You will stay away from post op unless you are on shift and until Captain Pierce says otherwise you will not approach him. Please believe me Captain that I'm not deliberately keeping you from your friend but I am doing all I can to make sure he is fit for the imminent visit from the CIC. Dismissed.'
Knowing that the interview was over but so angry that he could barely speak BJ nodded once and stormed out of the office towards the supply shed. Once out of sight of his commanding officer BJ spat out several choice swearwords and upon reaching the supply shed he slammed his fist so hard into the door that he cracked one of the old wooden planks. Breathing deeply in an attempt to compose himself BJ settled back to wait for Nurse Yamato and he closed his eyes to let his mind start working away at the problem of how to get in to see Hawk.