Rating: PG
Author: Tempest
Site: wwfdiva.port5.com
Disclaimer: I don't own anyone recognizable from the WWF. They're owned by WWFE and themselves of course.I don't own the rights to the song 'Independent Women'. I know I'm probably breaking 20 laws I've never heard of changing the words around, but it's all in good fun. So, don't sue because you will get nothing.I'm in BCSA - Broke College Students Anonymous. My name is Tempest, and I am broke-a-holic. This fic is sucky anyway.
Author's notes: Don't ask me what I was thinking it just came to me while watching Charlie's Angels. Yes, it's suppose to be extremely cheesy cause the movie Charlie's Angels was really cheesy (but good). I'm just in a particurly silly mood today. Sorry for the sucky fic.
My f'ed up version of Independent Women by Destiny's Child
*Ring, Ring*
Lita rolled over in her bed.
"Hello?" she said.
"Get your ass down here or your FIRED." the voice on the other end said.
"Um, okay, but can I ask a question?"
*click*
"Hello??" Lita said screaming in her phone.
"HELLO??" She said screaming even louder banging the phone against the nightstand.
"Must've gotten disconnected." Lita said to herself shrugging her shoulders.
"Yeah, that's it...unless...something's wrong with Vinnie." She said excitedly.
She picked up her phone and dialed Jackie's number.
"Hello?" Jackie said.
"Jackie,there's something wrong with Vinnie."
"Are you sure? I just talked to him."
"I was talking to him on the phone. And...and..."
"And what? Spit it out."
"And then we got disconnected." Lita said sobbing. "He's dead. I know it this is all my fault. N-now someone has taken him hostage.They must've killed him already. He's probably been dead 5 days now. What are we going to do?? Vinnie's dead."
Lita sobbed even louder on the phone.
"You're a slow bitch, aren't you?"
"Huh?"
"There's nothing wrong with Vinnie." Jackie said.
"But...but...he got disonnected. We have to save him Jackie. We have to call Chyna. She'll know what to do."
Jackie sighed on the other end. Lita continued to sob on the phone.
"Vinnie's okay, Lita. Trust me."
Lita's sobbing suddenly stopped.
"He is?" Lita asked.
"Yes." Jackie answered.
"Haha, I knew that." Lita said.
"I'm sure."
"I did."
"You do know we're suppose to be at headquarters in an hour, right?" Jackie said slowly.
"Uh-huh. Tee-hee, fun breeze, yanno?" Lita said.
"What the hell?" Jackie said.
*click*
"Jackie? JACKIE!!" Lita screamed into the phone. "Oh, noooooo! They've got Jackie."
Lita dials Chyna's number.
"They've got Jackie and Vinnie." Lita says before Chyna can say hello.
//Jacqueline...our girl Lita...Chyna C and Destiny. Vinnie's Angels..C'mon uh, uh,uh.//
Chyna jumped into her red convertible Mustang and spun out of her driveway. She stopped by Jackie's house first.
*Honk, honk*
Jackie came running out of the house with her cowboy hat in hand. Chyna pulled off. She glanced over at Jackie.
"Isn't it a little too hot to dressed in leather shorts?" She asked Jackie.
"Isn't it a little to early to be dressing up like Wonder Woman for Halloween?" Jackie shot back pulling on her hat.
"You can't talk to me like that. I'm Chyna, the ninth wonder of the world."
Jackie rolled her eyes.They pulled up to Lita's house. She was already outside waiting. She jumped into the back seat of Chyna's car.
"Jackie! You're okay." Lita yelled.
She reached over the seat and hugged her.
"I thought for sure you were a goner after those aliens abducted you." Lita rambled.
"Aliens?" Jackie said looking at Chyna.
"Don't ask. It's a long story." Chyna said.
Question, tell me what you think about me?
I buy my hair color and I buy own things
Only ring Matt's cell-y when I'm feelin lonely
When it's all over I tell him get up and leave
Question, tell me how you feel about this?
Fight with me girl you're gonna get dissed.
Fight my own fights, and sometimes team extreme's
Always gonna come out top.
Chorus:
The boobs on my chest
I bought 'em
The weave in my hair
I bought it
The thong I'm rockin'
I bought it
'Cause I depend on me
If I want it
The tat I'm flossin
I bought it
The beer in my hand
I bought it
I depend on me
(I depend on me)
All the divas who makin' money
Throw your hands up at me
All the divas who from hedonism
Throw your hands up at me
All the divas in last month's issue
Throw your hands up at me
All the divas who truly feel me
Throw your hands up at me
Divas yeah I knew you could get down like that
Vinnie, how your divas get down like that
Divas yeah I knew you could get down like that
Vinnie, how your divas get down like that
Jackie:
Tell me how you feel about this?
I got breasts 10 times bigger than yours chic.
I worked hard and sacrificed to get this new rack
Ladies, just so I could with the APA
Chyna:
Question,how'd you like this new suit that I brought?
I bought it just to piss the RTC off.
If that Ivory bitch wants to step to me
She'd better recognize I'm almost 6'1
Chorus:
The boobs on my chest
I bought 'em
The weave in my hair
I bought it
The thong I'm rockin'
I bought it
'Cause I depend on me
If I want it
The tat I'm flossin
I bought it
The beer in my hand
I bought it
I depend on me
(I depend on me)
All the divas who makin' money
Throw your hands up at me
All the divas who from hedonism
Throw your hands up at me
All the divas in last month's issue
Throw your hands up at me
All the divas who truly feel me
Throw your hands up at me
Divas yeah I knew you could get down like that
Vinnie, how your divas get down like that
Divas yeah I knew you could get down like that
Vinnie, how your divas get down like that
Wwf Divas?
Wassup?
You in the house?
Sho 'nuff
Break these people off Diva style
Woment of Wrestling
Independent beauty
Noone else can scare us
Vinnie's divas
All the divas who makin' money
Throw your hands up at me
All the divas who from hedonism
Throw your hands up at me
All the divas in last month's issue
Throw your hands up at me
All the divas who truly feel me
Throw your hands up at me
Divas I knew you could get down like that
Vinnie, how your divas get down like that
"Oh kewlies, what's this for?" Lita said reaching out to touch it.
"Don't touch that." Chyna and Jackie yell.
"Geez you don't have to yell. I'm not dumb."
Jackie and Chyna exchange glances.
"Good morning, bit- I mean divas." Vince's voice says from the speaker.
"Good morning Vinnie." They say in unison.