Contest entry for the May to December Romance Contest
Title: My Singer
Rating: M
Summary: Teenage Edward Cullen meets his favorite singer/songwriter Bella Swan, 16 years his senior.
Disclaimer: The author does not own any publicly recognizable characters herein. No copyright infringement is intended.
EPOV
When I was two years old, my parents bought the debut album by an 18–year-old singer named Bella Swan. I remember as I was growing up they would put her CD on every once in a while, and whenever they did, I stopped whatever I was doing to listen.
Her voice was so beautiful, a cross between Sarah McLachlan and Kate Bush.
She had released her second CD when I was four, and both CD covers featured her beautiful face—with her brown hair and brown eyes. I was captivated.
She hadn't released a CD in three years, and I asked my parents why they thought that was. At first, they tried to brush aside my question with a, "We don't know." But I kept asking. Finally, they did an internet search, and it turned out she had stopped recording and touring after her second CD and tour due to health issues.
As I grew older and expanded my love of music, I always went back to her two CDs. And now, at 17, they are still my favorite CDs According to an ad I just saw, she would be playing in Seattle in one month, just three days after I graduate high school—a couple of days before I turn 18.
I convince my best friends, Jasper and Emmett, to go to Seattle with me for the show. They immediately invite their girlfriends, but I'm accustomed to it being the five of us. Jasper and Alice will go to the show with me while Emmett and Rosalie enjoy a night on the town.
~~~MS~~~
Before I knew it, we had graduated and were getting ready to head to Seattle. I had listened to Bella's two CDs every day from the moment I saw she had this show coming up. I even had Mom and Dad listening to her on a few occasions.
The drive to Seattle seemed to take forever. After her CDs had played through once in the car, Jasper, Alice, Emmett, and Rosalie vetoed any additional plays.
We got a couple of hotel rooms near Eclipse, the venue where Bella would perform, and checked in. For dinner we find a pizza parlor a couple of blocks away. With the long drive, we wanted something quick and easy.
As we sit and talk and laugh, I can't imagine my life without them. Going to college was going to be strange. I had gone to grade school and high school with these people. They are as much my family as my real family.
When we get back to the hotel, we all gather in the guys' room – since I wasn't with anyone, they reluctantly agreed the guys would get one room and the girls would share the other – to watch a movie. Emmett picked a remake of "A Nightmare on Elm Street," which was mindless enough.
A couple of other lousy horror flicks later, we finally crash somewhere around 4 a.m.
When I wake around 11 a.m., I immediately jump in the shower. Showtime's at seven, doors open at five, and I want to be in line by two so I will be right up against the stage at this general admission show. When I'm done with my shower, Jasper and Emmett have woken up and are talking to the girls. We agree to meet for lunch at noon.
Wandering a few blocks, we find a sushi restaurant that looks interesting. We seat ourselves, and I keep checking my watch, not wanting to be late for getting in line.
Alice, the most perceptive of our group, finally has had enough. "Edward! What are you checking your watch for every two minutes?"
"Oh…Well…I…I just wanted to make sure I wasn't late for the show."
Alice rolls her eyes at me, "The show isn't for like seven hours."
"Uh…I want to get in line at two."
"At two?! Are you crazy?!"
"Alice, it's a general admission show. I didn't come all this way to stand in back. I have to be up front, against the stage."
Jasper looks at me like I'm crazy. "I said we'd come to the show with you, but we want to walk around Seattle. I don't want to stand outside the club for hours before the show." Alice nods her head, while her face looks apologetic.
"You guys don't have to stand with me. It's just something I have to do. I'll stand in line, and you guys can catch up with me later."
And then it happens. That one moment where time seems to slow down. The most beautiful girl, woman, I had ever seen in my life enters the little sushi restaurant. Bella Swan. It's her. Even though I haven't seen a picture of her in thirteen years, I know it's her. I can't hear anything but the thumping of my own heart. I can't see anything but her. She walks in with a woman and three guys. Kind of like our table at the moment.
I guess the waitress is trying to take my order, but luckily, Jasper ordered a sushi assortment he knows everyone at the table will eat.
"Edward?"
"Edward?"
People are saying my name, but I can't take my eyes off Bella. I watch as they are seated and thank God she faces me. I could keep watching her. "Edward!"
"What?!" I finally acknowledge.
"What the fuck has you so distracted?" Emmett asked.
I lean in to the center of the table and whisper, "It's her. That's Bella Swan at the table over there." I nod toward Bella's table.
I stare at her. When she laughs, her eyes twinkle. When she flips her hair behind her shoulders, I imagine running my hands through it. When she talks, I strain to hear her voice.
Our food is set in the center of the table but I can't stop looking at Bella. Finally, Emmett has to intervene. "Dude, if you don't stop staring at her, she's going to call the cops on you for being a creep, then you won't be allowed into her show, and we'll have to deal with your pouty ass for months."
I laugh. "You're right. I just never thought I'd see her anywhere but at the show."
Eventually I turn my attention to my friends, though I can't resist glancing back at Bella's table every few minutes.
Bella and her entourage leave before we do, and I can't take my eyes off her as she exits. The woman she arrived with throws a glance in my direction, but I don't care. I have wanted to see Bella Swan in person for nearly my entire life. I'm going to enjoy it.
On our way out, I notice it's already after two. "Shit! Guys, I've got to get to the gig."
We say our goodbyes, and I head to the club. There's no one outside, but the door is open. I peek through it and see some activity on the stage. Other than that, the club appears empty. I wander further in, looking around for anyone to tell me to get out, but there's no one.
I sit at a small bistro able about half way back and continue to watch the stage with interest. There are guys setting out guitars, tuning them, adjusting microphones, and then I see a guy adjusting the lights on the stage.
About half an hour passes before I see Bella walk onto the stage. This must be soundcheck. She walks up to the microphone, and I swear she's looking right at me. She squints for a second, but then she is back to business. She sings a few lines from a song I don't recognize, and I'm mesmerized. She sounds so much better live than hearing her on a CD. When the band joins her, they play "I Can See You Everywhere" from her second album.
I can't take my eyes off the stage. She had just been there, and it was if she was singing only to me. Well, she was, because there was no one else in the club, but it felt like so much more.
"Excuse me," says a guy wearing an old Rolling Stones t-shirt and looking to be about fifty years old. "You need to get out of here so we can get ready for the show."
"Oh, yeah, sorry. I'll go." I go out the door, taking my place in line. Still nobody there, which surprises me.
Jasper and Alice are going to come to club around six; they said they didn't feel like sitting there for hours. I still have about two hours before the doors open, so I sit on the pavement and wait.
When 5:00 finally arrives, nothing happens. Finally, around 5:10, they open the doors. By that time, there's about twenty people in line with me. I enter the club and head to the front of the stage, right in front of where Bella will be singing. I don't care that it isn't the best place to hear or see the show. I just want to be close.
I send a text to Jasper, letting him know where I am. He responds, letting me know he and Alice will be there before the show starts, but will probably hang near the back.
It seems to take forever for 7:00 to come around. When it finally does, and the lights dim, some guy with an acoustic guitar hits the stage. I can't figure out what's going on until it dawns on me he must be the opening act.
Finally, around 8:00, Bella's band takes the stage. They play for a good minute before she finally walks out on stage. She starts to sing a song from her first album, "Flirt," and I'm in awe. She sounds so amazingly good. The way she holds the microphone, closes her eyes, and puts all she has into singing every note is amazing.
As the show goes along, I sing along with every song, and I never take my eyes off her. Even during a brief guitar or keyboard solo, I only watch Bella.
It's nearly 10:30 when the show ends, but I can't leave yet. I need one more song. I need to see her one more time, but security starts shooing people out the door, and I reluctantly head outside where I run in to Jasper and Alice.
"So, what did you think?" I ask them.
"I liked it a lot more than I thought I would. She's a really good singer," Alice says.
"Yeah, it was a pretty good show," Jasper offers. "You know, we heard some people talking about her signing autographs after the show, near her tour bus."
"What? Are you serious?" I ask.
"Yeah, and her bus is just around the build—" Before he can finish his sentence, I'm off to find the tour bus.
I turn the corner, and it's right there. There are about a dozen fans standing around, waiting. I see people get on and off the bus, but no Bella. Has she already gotten on the bus?
I apprehensively get closer, and suddenly, the other fans rush the back door of the club. I see Bella trying to get outside and a couple of people, including the woman who was with her at the restaurant, trying to protect her. The woman announces that Bella will sign a few autographs, but everyone should take a couple of steps back. From the look on Bella's face, I'd guess she's terrified.
One by one, everyone gets their autographs, then it dawns on me I have nothing for her to sign. I left my CDs in the car and don't want to risk missing her to run back to get them.
I open my wallet, and the only thing in there she could sign is a dollar bill. Well, it's something.
When it's my turn I uncomfortably hand her the dollar bill to sign. "Uh, I didn't have anything else on me."
She looks at me and smiles. Then she looks to the woman with her, "Leah, can you grab a photo for me?" I look at her, my eyebrows furrowed, and then Bella says, "I have some photos for autographs. I just don't advertise it, as people would snatch them up, and I'd run out of them in no time."
In no time at all, Leah came back with a photo. "Would you like me to make this out to you?" Out of that entire sentence all I heard was, "Would you like to make out?" so I just stare at her for a couple of seconds.
Seeing her with the pen poised over the photo, I shake my head. "Yeah. Edward. My name is Edward."
"It's nice to meet you, Edward."
She signs the photo, and I somehow get up the courage to ask if she will pose for a picture with me. She agrees, and I pull out my cell phone for a selfie. Leah offers to take the photo for us.
Because I am taller than Bella, she puts her arm around my waist while I set mine around her shoulders. I never want to let her go.
Leah takes about four photos before she's satisfied and hands me back my phone.
I look at Bella, "Thank you. Your show was incredible. I wish I could see it again."
Bella smiles, "Thank you. We're getting ready for a couple of shows in California, and then I'm done touring."
I'm shocked. "What do you mean you're done touring? Just for now, right?"
"No, permanently. I just wanted to see if I could do it again. It's really hard on me, but I wanted to see my audience one more time. Oh, sorry, but I have to go. Goodbye, Edward."
And with that, she steps up onto the tour bus. I can't find it in me to leave, so I stand there for a moment before I hear Jasper yell, "Hey, lover boy. Let's go! Emmett and Rose are waiting for us at a diner for a late night snack!"
I watch the bus pull away then I walk toward Jasper and Alice. "Thanks for encouraging me to get that autograph."
"No problem," Alice says.
We meet with Emmett and Rose and tell them about the show. "It was weird. After she signed a picture, she mentioned she had a couple of shows in California and then was stopping touring. Something about wanting to see her audience one more time."
"That is strange," Emmett says. "Sounds like she's dying or something."
As soon as the words left Emmett's mouth, I could feel the blood drain my face. She wasn't sick, was she? No, I would have heard something.
I immediately pull out my phone, but all I can find is that she stopped touring years ago due to an illness. It was never divulged what the illness was or if she is still sick. Sometimes the internet can be so frustrating.
I did, however, see she was playing in Los Angeles on Saturday. I had some money tucked away, and I was somewhat familiar with L.A. since I was going to attend school there. I have to go see her. I can't let this opportunity slip away.
While everyone was eating and talking, I book my plane ticket, pay for it, find the venue she's playing at, and buy my ticket for the show. I didn't care if I had a hotel since I was flying home the next day.
We eventually make it back to the hotel for some sleep before we hit the road in a few hours. It feels as though I had just fallen asleep when I hear Emmett telling me to get up; It's time to hit the road. I use the bathroom, grab my bag, and head to the car.
"No, Edward. We are not listening to Bella Swan on the way home," Emmett informs me.
"Emmett, you should listen to this," Jasper said. He plugs his phone into the car, and I hear Bella's beautiful voice coming through the speakers. He had recorded some of last night's show.
"Jazz, you have got to send this to me." I say.
"I will, don't worry." Jasper only recorded four songs, but I'm able to relive last night by listening to them.
After listening to Jasper's recording, both Emmett and Rosalie mention they probably would have enjoyed the show.
After nearly four hours we finally make it home. "Hi, mom," I say as I walk in the front door.
"Hi, honey. Did you have a good time? How was the show?"
"It was so much better than I thought it would be. And I got Bella's autograph and a photo with her."
I pull out my phone and show my mother the photos. "Oh, that's great! She's very pretty."
I sigh. "You have no idea," I say very quietly.
"What did you say?" my mother asks.
"Oh, nothing. I'm going to put my stuff away."
I head up to my room and stare at our photo for a while, which brings a smile to my face. Then I worry about telling my parents that I'm going to Los Angeles in a few days to see her last show. I still wish I knew what she meant when she said she wanted to see her audience one more time.
I fire up my computer to see if I can find any additional information. After nearly an hour, nothing turns up.
Later, at dinner, my father asks about the show, and I figure I may as well get it out. "I'm flying to L.A. to see her on Saturday."
Silence, but both of my parents are looking at me. "What was that?" my mother asks.
"I'm going to fly to L.A. on Saturday. It'll be her last show, and she said something about seeing her audience one more time, so she won't be touring again. I can't pass this up." More silence. My parents have stopped eating, and I'm getting nervous.
"Edward, you just turned 18. I don't think it's a good idea—" my father starts, but I cut him off.
"Dad, I'm going to UCLA in a couple of months. I'm going to be living in L.A."
He butts in with, "In a dorm."
"I'm going to be driving around L.A., not just hanging out on campus every day."
My parents look at each other. "He's right," my mother says to my father. "Where are you staying?" she asks me.
"Well," I pause, "I was going to go to the show and then head to airport since I'm coming home early Sunday morning." Both of my parents look at me. I can tell they want to say something, but my father surprises me.
"Just be careful, all right?"
"Of course, Dad."
The week that follows is one of the longest of my life. Jazz sent me the mp3 files for the songs he recorded, and I immediately loaded them onto my phone. I listen to them every day.
My flight to L.A. was fine, and I grab a shuttle bus to Hollywood to go camp out for the show. Once again, I'm the first one in line, and since it doesn't appear that anyone else is there, I wander up to sandwich shop to grab a bite to eat. Back in line, I try the front door to see if I can sneak in during the soundcheck again, but unfortunately, it's locked.
When the doors open, I hand the bouncer my ticket, and he asks to see my ID. I pull out my driver's license and hand it to him.
"Sorry, kid. I can't let you in."
"What do you mean? I have a ticket."
"Yeah, but you have to be at least 21 to get into this club. You've got three years before I can let you in."
I can feel panic starting to set in, but I try to remain calm. "I flew here from Seattle. I just want to see the show. I promise I won't drink anything."
"No can do."
And with that, he dismisses me and starts letting others in.
I'm crushed. My stomach was churning, tears threatening to fall from my eyes. I have to figure something out. I'm not going to miss this show.
"Edward, right?" I heard someone say. I turned around and saw the woman that was with Bella at the show in Seattle.
"Yeah, you're … Leah!"
"Yeah. What are you doing out here?" And now I was totally embarrassed.
"Well, I have a ticket for the show, but I'm not 21, so they won't let me in." She looks at me for a few seconds and tells me to stay put and she'll be right back.
In a few minutes she returns and says, "Come with me." I follow her around to the back of the club. She hands me a lanyard, and I put it around my neck. When I glance at it I see it's an All Access pass for Bella's tour!
Leah walks me through back hallways, she knocks on a door and enters. "Look who I found outside," Leah tells Bella. Bella looks at me as I wave shyly, and a huge smile breaks out across her face.
"Hi! Edward, right? What are you doing here?" she asks me as Leah exits the room.
"I came to see your show. It sounded like you wouldn't be touring again, and I wanted to see you again."
"I see Leah gave you carte blanche to the show," she teases me, pointing to my pass.
"Well." I'm not sure I want to tell her this, but I figure honesty is the best policy. "I'm not quite 21, so they wouldn't let me in. Thankfully, Leah saw me and took pity on me."
"Have a seat. Make yourself comfortable. I'm just going to hang in here before the show. If you want, help yourself to any of the food in here," she says.
"Is this really your last show?" I ask her. I can't miss this chance.
"Yeah. I've got other things I want to do. I've missed the music, but then being back on the road is just really tough."
She walks over to the couch where I'm sitting and takes a seat, curling her legs underneath her so that she's angled toward me.
"What do you do, Edward? I mean, other than seeing my shows."
"I'm a student. UCLA. Studying biology, because I want to do something in medicine. I just don't know what yet."
"That's great. That would really mean something. All I ever did was sing and write songs. Neither of those things changed the world, but you could."
"Oh, I don't know about that. Your singing brings happiness to so many people. I've been listening to your music for years, and it's always, well, grounded me."
Bella smiles and briefly reaches for my hand, but before she can take it, she pulls back. "That's kind of you to say."
"I mean it," I say as I turn so I'm facing her. "Your lyrics always mean something, and your voice is amazing." I'm sure I'm blushing at this point.
"Thank you." She looks at me for a moment before getting up and grabs a bottle of water. "Do you want anything to drink?"
"I'll take a Coke." She brings one over and hands it to me. Our fingers briefly touch, and her skin is so soft. My mind is running wild with thoughts of her, meaning my cock was waking up and was going to cause me problems in about three seconds.
"Thanks."
I can't stop looking at her, and she seems just as intent to look at me. We continue to make small talk, and I swear we're inching closer to one another. A while later, Leah knocks, waits for the okay to enter, and comes in to tell Bella she's got to get ready.
Leah approaches me. "C'mon, Edward. Let me show you the best place to see the show."
I turn to look at Bella. "Have a great show," I tell her.
"I will."
I walk slowly out of her dressing room and catch up to Leah. "How ya doin', Edward?"
"I'm good. Excited to see the show tonight."
"I'm glad I saw you," she says.
We walk out from behind the stage, head out through the crowd, and she comes up to the giant soundboard in the middle of the room. "Just sit on one of these cases. The sound is best here, and you can see everything."
I was wondering what Bella was doing. She was likely getting dressed, which would mean she was naked. Not a good thing to think about with no way to take care of a boner.
Finally, I see her band take the stage, but my eyes are scanning both sides of the stage. I'm pretty sure she'll enter from the left, because that's the direction Leah and I came from.
This time, I remember to pull my phone out to capture some of the show. Leah was right; the sound is amazing here. At one point, the sound guy looks at me and grins. I give him a head nod and put my attention back on Bella.
Because this is her last show, she plays three encores. When the house lights finally go up, the crowd is disappointed, but they start to file out. I'm not sure what I'm supposed to do, but before I can even get on my feet, the sound guy comes over to me.
"Hey, kid, I'm Marcus." He reaches his hand out to shake mind.
"Hi. Edward."
"Just wait here for about twenty minutes for the crowd to leave, then you can head back."
"Okay."
I watch as Marcus puts away all of the sound gear, and the roadies get everything off the stage. I check my watch about eight times before finally the twenty minutes has passed. "See ya, man," I say to Marcus as I leave.
"See ya, kid."
I make my way backstage, the pass around my neck assuring no questions are asked, and I'm allowed to go wherever I want. I see Leah standing outside Bella's door. "That was a great show," I tell her.
"It was something special. Bella is still changing. As soon as she's done, she'll crack the door a bit, and you can go in." I'm stunned that only I would be going in, but thankful. And it's not even a minute before the door cracks.
I knock just to make sure. "Yeah, come in," Bella yells.
"Hey." That's all I can muster, because I get a good look at her. She's dressed casually again. Makeup is removed, and all I want to do is walk over to her, quickly, and kiss the ever fucking life out of her.
"Hi, Edward. I've got to go out and sign some autographs."
My face falls, "Okay."
"Do you want to come with me? You can be my bodyguard," she says as she winks at me.
I smile and say, "Sure!"
I follow her out, and then we both follow Leah. "Edward's my new bodyguard," she tells Leah.
"I bet he is."
Back in the club, there are a couple dozen fans standing by the front of the stage, waiting for Bella.
"Hi, everyone," she says sweetly when we approach. I'm not sure how serious she was about the whole bodyguard comment, but I stay close to her, and I swear there are a couple of times I feel her lean back into me, as if she wanted our bodies touching.
She signs the autographs, takes some photos, and there are no problems. As security escorts them out, we head back to her dressing room. She grabs a bag and says, "Do you have to go home or do you want to hang out for a while?"
Since I have no home to go to here in L.A., I say, "I'd love to hang out."
"Your place or mine?" What? Was she seriously asking if I wanted to take her to my place or go back to hers?
"Uh, yours."
"Okay, let's get out of here."
There was a car waiting in the alley, and we climb in. The driver pull away, and we head to the Hollywood Hills. Bella is sitting with her head leaning back on the seat, her legs crossed, and her eyes shut. I'm content to just watch her.
About 20 minutes later, we pull up to a small house just the other side of the hills. Bella climbs out of the car and opens the door. Inside, the house is sparsely but comfortably decorated. Through the living room window, I can see a pool in the backyard and some patio furniture.
"Have a seat. Do you want something to drink?"
"Um, can I have a water?"
"Don't you want anything stronger? I sure do."
"No, water is fine." She comes back with two bottles of water. "I thought you wanted something stronger," I say to her.
"I do, but this works. Cheers!" We tap our bottles together and sit on the couch.
Once again, she's at one end, her legs curled under her, facing me, and I'm at the other end. I turn so I'm mostly facing her. The desire to stroke her face and hair is overwhelming, and I don't know how much of my self-restraint I have left.
"I couldn't see you in the crowd tonight. Did Leah have you up at the soundboard?"
"Uh, yeah. She said it was the best place to see the show."
"It is. What did you think of the view from there?" she asks.
"It was great, sound-wise, and I could see the whole stage. But I missed being so close to you." She smiles at me and takes a drink of water.
She asks about what other music I like, what movies; she asks about my family, school, hobbies. I wanted to know about her, but she kept firing questions at me.
We were both getting pretty tired. We moved about on the sofa, still not touching, but we repositioned ourselves so we could lean our heads back.
I then started to ask her questions about her music, songwriting, and influences. I was able to picture her writing and listening to music that influenced her when she was younger.
"Are you least bit curious about why I invited you here?" she asks me.
"Yeah, but I'm so happy to be with you I didn't want to ruin it by asking." We both laugh.
"I remember you from the Seattle show."
"You do? But there were hundreds of people there."
"Yeah, but you were standing right in front, up against the stage. And you were so sweet asking me to autograph a dollar bill because you didn't have anything else for me to sign." She yawns.
"Your CDs were in my car, which was a couple of blocks away at the hotel. I didn't want to miss you, so I improvised."
She turns her head so she can look into my eyes. "I thought about you all week. Then when Leah said you were at the L.A. show, I couldn't wait to see you."
The fact she thought about me at all was enough to stop my heart. The further fact she couldn't wait to see me, definitely killed me.
"But, why?"
"There's just something about you. Edward, how old are you?"
Uh-oh. No good can come from this, so I deflect. "I'm old enough to be a student at UCLA."
"Edward."
"Why do you want to know?"
"Look, I know you're younger than me. Heck, I know you're not even 21. I just want to make sure…"
"I'm 18."
"Oh, shit." She buries her face in her hands.
"Bella, it doesn't matter. I've loved you for years, and sitting here next to you? Well, it's the best thing that's ever happened to me."
She pounds her fists on the couch. "Damn it. I know I should walk away, but I can't."
We're both very tired by this time, and our yawns start to outweigh our conversation. We drift off to sleep, still sitting upright on the couch.
I start to wake, my neck stiff from sitting on the sofa all night, and I hear someone retching down the hall. Is that really what I'm hearing? Oh yeah, sure is. I'm off the sofa and running down the hall.
"Bella!" I rush in the bathroom, I don't even knock. "Bella, are you okay?" I approach her as she's huddled on the floor, her head hung over the toilet. I pull her hair up in a ponytail while she continues to throw up.
Finally she says, "I'm fine. I'm okay. Just, go wait in the living room, okay?"
"Are you sure? I don't … I don't want to leave you." I continue to hold her hair, and she throws up one more time. Then she slowly stands up, and I grab a hold of her arms to make sure she can stand.
"Really, I'm fine. Let me wash my face and brush my teeth, and I'll be out in a minute, okay?"
I look at her for any signs that would be concerning but don't see any. "Okay."
I walk out to the living room but realize I have to pee so badly I don't want to sit down. She comes out a couple of minutes later, looking much better.
"Do you mind if I use the bathroom?" I ask in a rush.
"Oh! Of course, go right ahead."
I take a piss, put some toothpaste on my finger, and brush my teeth the best I can before heading back out.
"I can't believe we fell asleep on the sofa. Not the most comfortable way to spend the night," she says.
"I know. And it's not like I was bored, just tired."
"Do you want something to eat? I have eggs, toast, fruit."
"I'll have whatever you're having. Or are you too sick to eat?"
Bella walks over to me and stands right in front of me. "Edward, I'm not sick. I'm pregnant."
Yeah, totally wasn't expecting that. Like at all. Pregnant? Where's her husband? Is there a boyfriend? Why was I here last night and he wasn't?
"Preg—pregnant?"
"Yes." She's smiling so this must be a good thing.
"Where's your husband?"
"I don't have a husband."
"Okay, where's your boyfriend?"
"I don't have a boyfriend."
"Then, how?"
"Artificial insemination. I'd been trying for years, and it finally took. Please, please don't tell anyone. I'm eight weeks along and don't want it known until I make it through my first trimester."
"Why would you do that?"
She turns toward me, looking angry. "What do you mean, why would I do that?"
"I mean, you're alone. Don't you want your kid to have a father?"
"I know I'm alone!" she shouts at me. "I'm perfectly capable of raising a child on my own. I don't need anyone." I notice tears forming in her eyes.
"I'm sorry." I reach to pull her into a hug, but she pulls her arms up in front of her so her hands are against my chest. I don't let go, and slowly, she relaxes into me.
"It's not the perfect situation," she says with a sniffle. "But it's all I have."
She steps into the kitchen. "Do you want some tea?" she asks.
"Yeah. That'd be great."
As she's making the tea, she also slips in a couple pieces of toast, then continues. "See, I stopped touring years ago because I was pregnant, but I lost the baby. I've only ever told my parents and a couple of close friends this. Recording and touring with the two CDs was the most amazing time. I was young, and I could still put on a great show on two hours of sleep. I got to see the world. I was interviewed by every magazine and television show out there. Even though I was chased by paparazzi, I was young enough I didn't care." She takes a deep breath and continues.
"I had a childhood friend who I took on the road with me. Jake was a big guy, and I had known him as far back as I could remember. While on the road, we obviously grew close. After a couple of years, we grew really close."
We move to the living room with our tea and toast and she looks around. "While I was finishing up the tour for the Crimes of Passion, I found out I was pregnant. I was ecstatic and couldn't wait to be a mom. Everyone else around me had other ideas. My parents said I was too young. The record label still wanted me to record and tour. There were press interviews lined up that my manager refused to cancel."
"What about Jake?"
"He was … indifferent. He didn't care either way. He wasn't excited, but he wasn't upset, either."
"I guess the stress was too much. I lost the baby when I was about 14 weeks along." She wipes her eyes with the Kleenex. "I was devastated. I went home, my parents were still alive then, and curled up in my bedroom for a couple of weeks. Mom was actually pretty sympathetic. She allowed me to wallow. When I finally decided to move on, I decided I was done with music. Everything about losing the baby pointed towards the stress of singing, writing, touring, being a 'star'. So, I quit."
"Is that what you meant about seeing your audience one more time?"
"Yeah. I knew once I had this baby I'd want to stay home and raise him or her myself. The road is no place for children, especially if their mom is single. And this time, I just can't let anything go wrong," she cuts off her sentence quickly. "Anyway. Yes, I'm doing this."
"What did you do after you quit?"
"I invested all of the money I had earned, gave myself a small allowance, and went to school to study English."
"You went back to college? Why isn't any of that information on the internet? Everything I could find just said you disappeared."
"I used my real name. Swan is my stage name." She shifts so she's facing me directly. "Hello, Edward. I'm Isabella Dwyer. It's nice to meet you." She reaches her hand toward mine for a quick shake.
I take her hand. "Isabella Dwyer? Wow. You've done an amazing job keeping your identity a secret." I let out a small cough and shake her hand. "It's very nice to meet you, Isabella Dwyer."
I don't let go of her hand, but start leaning toward her. At the same time, she starts leaning toward me. When we're finally only a hair apart, I bring my lips to hers. A quiet whimper escapes her.
Her lips are so soft, and she smells amazing. We scoot closer to each other and she climbs onto my lap. Uh oh. My dick's getting hard, and there's no way she can't feel it. I should care, but I don't. Both of her hands are gripping the back of my head, and I've got one hand on the back of her neck and the other around her waist.
My dick keeps getting harder and harder, and all of a sudden my breathing speeds up, and I let out a grunt. Goddamn it. I just creamed my pants.
Bella pulls back, both hands still on my head, and looks at me. "Are you all right?" She looks very concerned.
I grin. "Uh, yeah. Just … um … I reacted strongly and quickly to you sitting on my lap." She looks at me for a few seconds before realization dawns on her.
She giggles (giggles!) and tries to climb off my lap, but I keep my hand firmly on her waist. "Where are you going?"
"Well, that has to be uncomfortable."
"I'd rather kiss you again."
She gives me a quick peck on the lips. "You go clean up. Do you have a change of clothes?"
Mom always said to pack extra underwear. I don't even want to think that this may be why.
I grabbed my bag and went into the bathroom. I cleaned myself the best I could and was just getting re-dressed when Bella shouted out, "There are clean washcloths and towels under the sink on the right-hand side!"
"Thanks!"
This was much better. After I was done, I hung the towel on an empty hook and draped the washcloth over the tub.
"Do you want some more tea?" Bella asked when I returned.
I happen to see the clock and see that it's nearly 7:30. My flight leaves at 8:00. "Oh, shit! My flight!"
"What? I thought you lived here. For school."
"No, not until August. Damnit. I'm going to miss my flight!" I didn't know what to do. "My parents are going to kill me."
"You still live at home, don't you?"
"Yeah. Until I move here for school in a couple of months. I've got a dorm room waiting for me."
"Well, let's get you home."
Bella drives me to the airport and as she's dropping me at the terminal she leans over to give me a kiss. "Edward, I want to thank you."
"For what?
"For reminding me about passion. I'm going to miss you."
"Can I see you again?"
She gives me a small smile, "No, I don't think so. I'm going to become a mother and you're going to start college. Two different lives. I'm grateful to have met you, though."
"Did that kiss mean nothing to you?"
"It meant…Something to me."
"Well, it meant a lot to me. I don't want to walk out that door thinking I'll never see you again. I can't do it."
She looks out the window, "You have to."
I grab my bag and head into the terminal. When I turn back she's already gone.
I'm not sure what to do, so I call home. "Hi, Mom."
"Is everything all right?"
"No. I kinda missed my plane."
"What do you mean you kind of missed your plane?"
"I mean, I missed it. I got talking with Bella, then we fell asleep, and I woke up, and it was too late."
"You fell asleep with Bella? Edward, what were you two doing?"
"Mom, we were just talking after her show. She's the most incredible person I've ever met."
"Where are you now?"
"I'm at the airport, but I don't know what to do."
She tells me what to do and has transferred money into my account to cover any fees the airline may charge to get me on a later flight.
Mom and Dad pick me up from the bus station in Port Angeles later that evening. "Come on, honey. Let's go home," Mom says, giving me a hug. Dad has already loaded my bag into the trunk.
Thankfully, Mom sits in the front seat and waits for me to talk. I'm not sure I want to, but better to do it now than when we get home and I'll be really tired.
"I thought Bella and I really hit it off."
"Son, she's 20 years older than you," Dad points out. "She has no business being alone with you."
"She's only 16 years older," I tell my father. Okay, that doesn't sound much better. "We talked for hours, she told me about herself, she asked a lot of questions about me, and then she dropped me at the airport."
"Well, that's good," my father quipped.
"She told me things she had never told anybody. Things you can't find on the internet. Really personal things."
"We talked really, really late into the night, well morning, and both fell asleep sitting up on her couch. We woke up, talked some more, and was going to send me home. That's it." I suppress the tears that threaten to fall.
"Edward, you got to spend some time with a celebrity you admire. Remember what happened, but you need to remember it was nothing more than a conversation. And if she tours again, go see her if you still want, but know that's what it is. You're her fan."
"But the things she told me."
"You don't even know if they're true."
"They are. I could tell."
"Okay. Well, let's get you home. And you're not going back to L.A. until it's time for school. Got it?"
"Yeah."
We get home and Mom immediately offers to make me something to eat. I am starving but ask her for something quick, so she makes me a sandwich which I gobble down in a couple of minutes.
I head up to my room after eating, and the first thing I do is put all of Bella's things away. I don't want to throw them out, but I definitely don't want to see them, so I tuck them in the back of my desk drawer. I collapse onto the bed and am asleep in seconds.
When I wake up the following morning, it's already 9:00. I see I already have texts from Jasper and Emmett, asking me how the show was and did I get to meet here again. Rather than hash this out via text, I ask if they want to meet me for lunch at the diner.
I head downstairs, and Mom asks if I want breakfast. Since I'm meeting the guys at eleven, I turn it down, but I do grab some coffee, which is now barely lukewarm, but I don't care.
"How are you feeling?"
"I don't know mom. I know I have to forget about her on any level other than liking her music, but I feel as though, I don't know, I feel like a part of me is missing. Like my heart has been ripped out, and I can't really breathe."
"It'll get better. I promise. Now, what are you doing today?"
"I'm going to meet Jasper and Emmett at the diner around eleven. I'm sure we'll end up doing something later."
I head out to meet Jasper and Emmett. Emmett is already there when I arrive, and Jasper gets there about five minutes later.
"So, man, how was it? Did you talk with her again?" Emmett asks before we even order our food.
"Turns out it was a 21-and-over show."
"What? So you didn't see her?" Jasper asks.
I go on to tell the story of how Leah found me outside and all the way up to riding with Bella to her house. I leave out the kisses and the personal things she told me. I did tell them we talked, fell asleep, I missed my flight, and got home later than expected.
"That's so amazing! You must be so excited. Nobody gets to spend one-on-one time like that with their idols."
"It was cool, but she said she's not going to tour anymore, so that's that."
Jasper brings up the fact she lives in L.A. and I'm moving there.
"There are more than, what, two million people there? I'll never see her."
"But you know where she lives."
"I wouldn't be able to find her house again if you paid me."
Next thing I know Tanya Denali approaches our table. "Hi, Edward," she says.
"Hey, Tan."
"Are you going to Paul's party on Friday?"
"Uh, I don't know. I don't think I was invited."
"Well, I'm inviting you."
"Let me think about it."
"Okay. See ya." She walks away and Jasper and Emmett start laughing.
"Guess we don't exist," Jasper jokes.
Maybe this is the distraction I need. A bunch of chicks, my own age, a half-dozen who have been begging me to fuck them or at least let them suck me off.
I ask, "Are you guys going?"
"Yeah, Paul already hit us up. You were in L.A.," Emmett lets me know.
We finish our lunch, and I'm still wiped out from my trip, so I head home and take a nap.
Friday rolls around, and I'm off to the party. By the time I arrive, it's in full swing with more than twenty people there. I'm barely in the door when Lauren Mallory comes up to me. She was the most well-known slut in high school, so I'll pass.
Tanya's sister, Kate, approaches me, running her finger up my arm. "Hi, Edward."
"Hey, Kate."
"We thought maybe you'd decided not to come."
"Oh, come on, I'm not that late."
"Let's go get drinks." With that, we're off to the kitchen where every countertop is lined with some sort of alcohol. How Paul is able to pull this off I'll never know.
I see Jasper and Alice and then Emmett with Rose. The two couples look so happy and comfortable together. I imagine myself with Bella, and I know in my heart we'd be the same way. I grab a shot of tequila. Then another.
After the second, I want to chuck the shot glass out the window. I'm so angry right now. I know I have to get out of there before I do something stupid. As I'm leaving, Tanya tries to get to me stay, but I just shrug her off and head outside.
Fuck! I want Bella. Nothing else matters. I miss her, I want her; everything I look at, she's there. Every time I close my eyes, she's all I see.
I manage to get home and crawl into bed. I swear I can even smell her on my pillow, so I head to the linen closet and change my pillowcase. Of course, Mom decides to come out of her room at that very moment.
"Is something wrong that you need sheets?"
"Uh. No. Just wanted a fresh pillowcase. Goodnight."
I dreamed of Bella all night. How do I know? Because I woke up every hour or so, and each time, I had been dreaming of her. Kissing her, holding her, fucking her, listening to her sing, watching her hold her baby.
~~~MS~~~
As a pre-college gift, my awesome parents bought a car for me. A two-year-old Volvo they want me to take to L.A. so I can avoid the hassle of public transportation.
The drive to L.A. should take about eighteen hours. I allow five days so I can take my time and enjoy the scenery. Mom helped me find little Bed and Breakfasts along the coast, so I'm set for the week.
Mom and Dad stand by the front door as I pull away. I admit I had a tear in my eye when I left, but I crank up the music, set the GPS, and I'm off. Farewell, cloudy, cold, rainy Forks. And hello, sunny, warm, dry Los Angeles!
The trip was perfect. The scenery was beautiful, the B&B's mom picked were very nice, and the people that owned them were very kind.
I register for school. I buy supplies for my dorm room, and when I get there I notice my roommate hasn't arrived yet.
The next day, my roommate finally shows up. Garrett. A nice guy from New Orleans. He's also majoring in biology, so I imagine we're going to be seeing a lot of each other.
I learn the first week of classes how grueling the semester is going to be. Why did I take a full load my first time out?
Three weeks later, on my way back to my dorm, I swear I see Bella standing on the sidewalk, looking around. It's been a couple of weeks since I had actually thought about her. My schedule is tough. Every spare minute is spent doing research.
I take a few more steps, and the woman I thought was Bella turns my direction. My heart stops, my feet stop moving; I'm waiting for my knees to give out. It's her. It's Bella. What the fuck is she doing here?
Tentatively, she walks toward me. I quickly do the math; she should be almost five months pregnant now, but she doesn't show at all. She's still the most beautiful woman I've ever seen. All my trying to forget about her is out the window. I bolt toward her, and she breaks out into a huge smile.
I stop right in front of her and drop my books. She's looking up at me, smiling. I take her face in my hands and kiss her with as much passion as I know how. She wraps her arms around my waist and kisses me back. It's so much better than I remember.
"It's you," I finally say to her. "God, I've missed you."
She lets out a small laugh, "You don't really know me, but I've missed you, too."
I drop my hands from her face. "What are you doing here?"
"I needed to see you."
I stand there, just looking at her. "About what?"
"About us. About how you left."
I sigh and start thinking about where we could talk. I would invite her to my dorm, but Garrett is probably there. Any coffee houses would be crowded. "Can we just sit somewhere and talk?" I direct her toward a bench, and we sit down.
"I'm sorry for surprising you like you this," she tells me. "But I didn't know how else to find you. A friend of mine works here and let me know your schedule and where I could probably find you." She was stalking me. Wow. "I … I feel like I really messed things up between us. I enjoyed being around you, probably more than I should, but the heart wants what the heart wants. And my heart wants you." She had been looking down at her hands which were entwined on her lap. "If you don't want me, I'll leave, and you'll never see me again. But I had to at least tell you."
"What about the age difference? That was such a huge deal to you before."
She smiles, "It still worries me, but Leah talked to me. Her husband is twenty-one years older than she is, and they're incredibly happy. They met briefly when she was fifteen, secretly started dating when she was sixteen, and then officially when she was nineteen. They just had this incredible connection. Leah's forty-one now, he's sixty-two, and they're still ridiculously happy."
I sit there and just look at her. She's so incredibly beautiful. "Is this real?" I ask her.
"I hope so."
I lean over and kiss her again. "Can we go to your place?"
"Sure. I'm parked not too far from here." I grab my books and we walk to her car. Her house is less than thirty minutes away, and as soon as I walk in the door, I feel like I'm home.
"Bella, I've thought about you so much. I dreamed about you. And it hurt. A lot."
She looks down, dejected. "Then why did you come here?"
"Because, I think I'm in love with you."
She smiles, wraps her arms around my neck, and just as her lips approach mine she whispers, "I think I'm in love with you, too."
We walk to her bedroom, and she takes off her shirt. Now I can see the slight swell to her belly. The shirt she was wearing completely hid it. I reach out and touch around her bra then down her stomach. "So beautiful."
She reaches out to me to remove my shirt, and I let her. She takes a deep breath then runs her fingers over my chest. I shiver from the contact. She grins at me, and while keeping her eyes on mine starts to unbutton and unzip my pants.
My breaths stutter as my pants fall to the floor. I slip off my shoes and step out of them. Then Bella quickly drops to her knees and takes my briefs with her. Before I can comprehend what's happening, she has her mouth around my cock, and it's the most amazing thing I've ever felt. I've had sex before, and have had blow jobs before, but none of them compared to this. After only four or five seconds I need her to stop.
"Bella, stop. Please."
She releases my cock, "Don't—don't you like that?" Her expression is one of hurt and confusion.
"I fucking love it, but I'm too close to … you know … to losing it. I've wanted you for so long."
She stands up. "That would have been okay."
"Thank you, but I want inside you."
I lift her, bridal style, and set her carefully on the bed. With my fingers shaking, I unbutton her pants and slide them down her legs. She delicately bends one knee and looks like an absolute goddess lying on the bed. I climb onto the bed and then over her. I'm careful not to put my weight on her. She brings her hands to my face and holds it lightly as I lower my lips to hers.
We kiss for a while, and I move to lay on the bed next to her. As I settle on my side, my fingers grip her panties, and I slip one finger into them. Her moan is almost a squeal, and then I add my entire hand. I work her clit before finally slipping a finger inside her.
Her breath quickens, her kisses more urgent. Her legs start to move until she's nearly shouting in my mouth. I can feel her constricting around my fingers and her legs close tight. As she takes her mouth from mine, she keeps chanting, "Oh, God."
I smile at her as she quickly discards her panties. "Now, Edward. I need you. Now." She rolls on top of me and slides down on my hard cock in a second. Shit, it felt amazing. Unfortunately, I was so far gone that I pump into her five times before coming. I grit my teeth and keep her going for a few more pumps before I have to stop her.
"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."
She leans down to kiss me. "It's okay." She's quickly off me and walks into the ensuite bathroom. She comes back a minute later with a warm cloth so I can wipe myself.
I know having unprotected sex wasn't the smartest thing, but she was artificially inseminated, and I doubt they would allow that if she had an STD, and I had never had unprotected sex. "Bella, I just want you to know that was the first time I ever had sex without a condom. You don't have anything to worry about with me."
"Yeah, that was pretty spontaneous. And so you know, I was clean before I got pregnant. I haven't had sex in a long time."
I smile at her. "Bella, I've loved your music and your songs for as long as I can remember. Now? I can say I love you. Here, the night of your show a few months ago, I knew then I never wanted to be apart from you. Living without you hurt more than I ever thought it would. I felt as if I couldn't breathe." I wipe away a tear that has fallen down her cheek. "Now, I can breathe again, and I don't ever want to live a day without you again."
She's full out crying now, and I'm afraid my honesty is too much for her.
"Edward, I shouldn't. My head says I shouldn't, but my heart is screaming for you. When you're near me, everything feels right. Complete. Happy."
I kiss her firmly, and we lay down together. I'm on my back and she settles on her side, her head on my shoulder. I realize there's no going back. This is where I'm supposed to be.
~~~MS~~~
During the fall semester, I live in the dorm during the week but spend all my weekends at Bella's. We shop for furniture for the nursery—she even asks my opinion. I see her belly grow. And I'm with her at nearly all of her doctor appointments. No one at the doctor's office is judgmental. I'm there as her boyfriend, and no one questions it.
As Christmas break approaches, I'm torn. My parents are expecting me to come home, but the thought of leaving Bella, who at that point will only have about seven weeks left of her pregnancy, makes me feel extremely uneasy. I've been reading books about pregnancy and childbirth, and while I've told her I will be by her side the whole way, I have no idea how I'm going to handle this.
"Edward, you really need to go home over your Christmas break and see your parents. I'm sure they miss you, and you should be with your family for the holidays. I'll be fine here. I'm used to it."
This is one thing we don't agree on. "No, I'm not leaving you. You two are my family as much as my parents are. I won't leave you behind. You're getting too close to your due date. If something happens, I have to be here. I have to. The thought of you going through anything without me kills me."
I know she'll be too close to term for her to fly with me. And I leave out the fact I haven't told my parents I'm seeing her. They helped me out over the summer, and I don't want them to get all crazy that I'm back with her and that I'm going to act as a father figure for her baby. Although in my head, it's been "our baby" for a while.
"Edward, what are your parents going to think if you don't come home?"
I just look at her.
"They don't know we're together, do they?"
I can't help but look down at the floor. "No. After the show in L.A., I was pretty messed up when I got home. I'm not sure they would be very happy with me right now."
"What do you mean 'pretty messed up'?"
I let out a heavy sigh. "I missed you so much. I wasn't myself for weeks. They told me to snap out of it and forget about you. They were pretty adamant I move on with my life."
"Oh, Edward. I'm so sorry. I never should have tracked you down. I should have left you alone." She's crying again.
I grab her in my arms. "No! You tracking me down has made me so happy. I belong here, with you."
"But there is so much more for you out there. You don't need to be tied to an old pregnant lady."
I continue to hold her. "You are not old. And if I didn't want to be here with you, I wouldn't be."
I lean down and kiss her. "Let's go to bed. It's been a busy day, and I can tell you're tired."
"How can you tell how tired I am?"
"I've been watching you for months. I can tell when you're hungry, thirsty, needing to rest."
We walk arm in arm to the bedroom and she whispers, "I love you."
"I love you, too."
She was very tired. After brushing her teeth and washing her face, she had barely made it into bed before she was sound asleep. I watched her for a few moments, wrapped one arm around her, and fell into a deep sleep myself.
I wake up to the feel of Bella's ass rubbing against my very hard dick. Damn, that feels good. "Good morning," I whisper in her ear while nibbling on her earlobe.
"I need you, Edward. Please." I wiggle out of my briefs and move her panties, and then we're slowly making love with me behind her. As the baby has grown, we've been experimenting with different positions, and this works best if she's not on top of me.
After I cum and get us cleaned up, I crawl back into bed. "Mmm. This is a good morning. Do you want something to eat? Drink?"
"Can we stay here just for a little while longer?"
"Of course," I say while kissing her hair.
No sooner do we decide to stay in bed she bolts out and runs to the bathroom. When she returns, "Sorry, realized I had to pee. And I am hungry," she says with a smile.
We sit and eat breakfast in silence. It's driving me crazy because I know she's going to bring up me flying home for the holidays. Then an idea strikes me. "What if my parents come here for Christmas?"
She starts to choke on her food. "Shit!" I start tapping her back.
"I'm okay," but she's still coughing. "I'm fine. You want your parents to come here? Are you crazy?"
"No, not crazy. We can have dinner here. My folks can afford a hotel. They can see my dorm, get to know you. They'll see how serious I am about you."
"Edward, I don't think that's a good idea. If they aren't happy with our situation … Well, I'm not happy that they don't know, but I don't think this is the way to tell them."
"Sure, it is. Bella, I'm not playing around with you. I love you. I'm committed to you. This is not going to end. I'm not leaving you."
She's looking at me as if I have three heads. I admit it is a bit of a crazy idea, but it makes sense.
"Let's Skype with them."
"What?" Now it's my turn to look at her like she's crazy.
"Let's Skype with them. Explain our situation. See how they react. If it's not good, then you're off to see them on your own. If it's okay, then they come here."
"Really?" I jump up and kiss her.
I call my folks, saying I want to Skype with them. We've done it a few times, so they're familiar. "What is so important you want to Skype instead of just talk?" my mother asks.
"I, uh … I have someone I want you to meet."
"Okay, we'll be on in two minutes," and Mom hangs up on me.
"Wow. Mom's pretty excited."
Bella powers up the laptop, and I log on. Both my parents are there, on screen, and I greet them. "Hi, Mom. Hi, Dad. I wanted to talk with you about Christmas."
"You're coming home, right?" my mother asks expectantly.
"Well, I wanted to talk with you about that. I'm seeing someone. I have been since a couple of weeks into the school year. We've been inseparable, and I really don't want to leave her here on her own over break."
"What about her family, honey?" Mom asks.
"She doesn't have any. Both of her parents have passed."
"Oh, that's so sad." Leave it to Mom to be sympathetic.
Bella takes a deep breath and leans over so she's in range of the camera. Both of my parents immediately recognize her. "Hi, Mr. and Mrs. Cullen. I can tell by your faces you know who I am. I just want to let you know that this relationship has been Edward's choice from the beginning. I've been trying to convince him to visit you during Christmas break but he's a bit stubborn," she looks at me and smiles. "Anyway, I'm going to let you talk. I hope to meet you soon."
With that, Bella heads off to the bedroom to give me some privacy.
"What are you thinking?" My father asks.
"I love her."
"You what?" My mother asks.
"I love her. She found me at school after I'd been here for a couple of weeks, and we've been together ever since. I would invite her to come home with me for the holidays but," I stop and look around the room.
"But?" My father asks.
"She's pregnant. Thirty one weeks now."
Calmly, my father asks, "Is it yours?"
"Of course not! She was seven weeks pregnant before I even met her at the show in Seattle. Artificially inseminated. Long story. Please, don't mention this to anyone. No one knows."
"Of course, we won't tell anyone," Mom says. She looks at Dad and continues, "Edward, we don't want you to throw your life away. You're so young, you should be enjoying life and college."
"She makes me happy. Remember when I came home after the show here? I said I felt like I couldn't breathe? As soon as we were together again I could breathe. Big, deep breaths. She's like air to me."
"But she's pregnant," my mother points out.
"And I've read up a lot about pregnancy, birth, how to help her. It's given me a purpose, and I want to enter pre-med so I can be an OB/GYN. That's what I'm meant to do."
My father smiles, as he'd been waiting and waiting for me to declare what I want to do.
"Anyway, I don't want to leave her. She'll be just seven weeks from her due date at Christmas, and I'm terrified something's going to happen if I leave. So we were thinking, you guys come here. Stay at a nearby hotel, we can show you around, and celebrate Christmas at her house. I do want to see you guys, but I have to stay with her. I can't leave her."
"We'll talk about it honey," my mother says. "We wouldn't mind the warmer weather of Los Angeles. And we do want to see you, too."
"In other words, we're coming," my father said with a laugh. "You've always been more mature than your years. I can't say this is totally unexpected. Those girls in your high school never interested you."
My dad is totally right on.
"Hey, go ahead make your flights. Do you want me to find you a hotel?"
"No, we know where we're going to stay. We've always loved that Fairmont Hotel in Santa Monica, so we'll book a room there. We'll be near the ocean. Is that too far away from you?"
"No, it's not bad. I look forward to see you. Love you."
"We love you, too," my mother says. "See you soon."
Bella must have been listening from the bedroom. "I swear I wasn't listening, at least not to where I could actually make out what you were saying. I just heard silence and figured you'd finished," she rattled off as she returned to the living room.
"They're coming here," I tell her as she sits next to me on the couch. "They'll be staying in Santa Monica but will have Christmas here. Are you sure you're up for it?"
"We'll prep the day before so I'll be well-rested on Christmas, how's that?"
"Great idea," I say as I kiss her. "I love you."
"Hmmm. I love you, too." And she nestles into my side.
~~~MS~~~
My parents arrive on Christmas Eve, staying for three nights. They're okay with my relationship with Bella, but not overly thrilled. I pick them up, alone, at the airport.
"Where's Bella?" my mother asks.
"She wanted us to have some time alone and rest. We worked on tomorrow's brunch this morning. We'll pick her up for dinner at a little restaurant we know is open tonight. Is that okay?"
"That's great," my father says.
I drive them to the hotel and wait for them to check-in. Once their bags are stowed, I drive them around the campus and then a bit around Hollywood. Then I head over into the hills to pick up Bella.
When I pull in her driveway, my mother comments, "What a cute house. Is this hers?"
"Yeah, she bought it years ago, so it's hers, free and clear." I open the door. "Bella! We're here!"
"I'll be right out!" I hear her call from the bedroom.
I give my parents a quick tour, and they seem very impressed.
"She has a pool!" my mother exclaims.
"Yeah, she's been using it for exercise while she's pregnant, because it's easier on her."
"Very smart," my father comments.
Bella comes out of the bedroom dressed in a beautiful dress. It's very conservative and lies so you can see she's pregnant, but the material is loose around there.
"Bella, I'd like to introduce to my parents, Carlisle and Esme. Mom, Dad, this is Bella."
My father shakes her hand and says hello, then my mother pulls her into a big hug. "It's wonderful to meet you, Bella. You look beautiful."
"Thank you. It's great to meet you, as well. Are you ready for dinner?" My parents both reply in the affirmative.
"I hope you like Mexican. There's a wonderful little restaurant not too far from here, and I've been craving Mexican for the last couple of months. I'm sure Edward never wants to see another taco as long as he lives!"
I look at her and shake my head. "Anything for you," I say as I give her a kiss.
We head to Alejandro's for dinner. Bella wasn't kidding about her cravings. Since the end of October, we've had Mexican at least three nights a week. But if that's what she wants, that's what she gets.
My parents ask Bella about her music, touring, recording, about her life in general. Mom tears up when she hears how Bella lost both of her parents.
Then the baby comes up. Bella was very honest with my parents, talking about how she lost the baby years ago and what she went through to become pregnant. "Why not wait until you're married? Sorry, I'm just trying to understand."
"It's all right. I didn't see any guys in my future, and I'm not getting any younger. I've wanted a baby since I was pregnant before. I'm self-reliant, responsible, and have the funds tucked away to take care of a baby. I figured this was my last chance. It took about 20 months of fertility drugs and tries before it finally took."
My father finally speaks up, "Edward, what do you plan to do once the baby comes?"
"I'm not leaving school, if that's what you're worried about. I'm going to continue my studies, spend time with Bella and the baby as my schedule allows. Bella's been very adamant that I don't stop going to school. She's happy with my choice of specialty, too."
After dinner, we return my parents to the hotel and head back to the house. "Your parents are taking this much better than I thought they would."
"Yeah, they've had some time to adjust. Mom admitted she always pictured me with an older woman, though probably not 16 years older."
"Yeah," Bella says and stares out the window.
"Hey, I love you. We're a team, and nothing is going to change that. Okay?"
She looks at me, trying to smile but not quite succeeding, "Yeah. Okay."
When we get to the house, I pull her to me. "Talk to me."
"Sixteen years, Edward. Sixteen."
"I don't care. I love you. I want to be with for the rest of our lives. I want to—" I take a deep breath because we haven't really talked about my role with the baby. "I want to help raise this baby as if it's my own. I want to be the baby's father."
Bella immediately looked up at me with tears in her eyes. "You do?"
"Yes. Absolutely. I already think of the baby as ours."
She jumps up and wraps her arms around my neck, repeatedly kissing me and saying "I love you."
When we go to bed that night, I make love to her to show her how serious I am. I know it's safe for us to continue having sex, as I've read up on it and talked with her doctor.
The next morning, I pick up my parents and bring them back to the house. We have Christmas songs playing and exchange a few gifts. Bella loves all of the baby clothes my mother bought.
Brunch was easy, as all we had to do today was warm everything up. My mother was very impressed and kept trying to help, but we had it under control.
After brunch, we watch some Christmas movies. Bella pulls out her most recent ultrasound to show my mother.
"Oh! It's almost like a photo! Years ago they were just black and white images, and you had to imagine that was a baby."
Dad chimes in, "Boy or girl?"
"Don't know," Bella said with a smile. "We're going to be surprised."
We watch a couple more movies, and for dinner, Bella warms up a couple of frozen pizzas. "I know it's not much, but brunch took a lot out of me."
"It's perfect, dear. We'd rather be around you instead of having you in the kitchen cooking, anyway."
Mom offers to heat up the pizzas so Bella can rest.
After dinner, I drive Mom and Dad back to the hotel. "She's lovely, Edward. An absolute sweetheart. I can see why you fell in love with her."
Then Dad says, "I wish she wasn't so much older than you, but we have to trust you and trust you know what you're doing. You're the happiest we've ever seen you."
The next morning, Bella and I pick my parents up for breakfast, and then we're taking them to the airport. At the airport, both Mom and Dad give Bella big hugs and ask her to call them if she needs anything and I'm not available. She assures them she'll be fine, but promises to call them if needed and even lets them enter their phone numbers into her cell phone.
"They really like you, you know," I tell Bella.
"Really? It's so weird, because other than Leah, I haven't had a mother figure in my life for so long. I didn't realize I missed it."
"Is it a bad thing?" I ask.
"No, it's great."
We celebrate New Year's by staying in. Bella is more and more tired every day, and she only makes it until 10:30 pm. At midnight, I kiss her lightly, whispering, "Happy New Year," but I let her sleep.
When we get up the next morning, she's not happy I let her sleep through midnight. "It was our first New Year's together! We're supposed to kiss at midnight! And I messed everything up by falling asleep early." Here come more tears. I'm used to it.
"It's fine, baby. We were together, and that's what matters."
I am miserable my first week back at school. I talk with Bella two or three times a day and text her in between our conversations. I am insanely busy with school and talking with my advisor about what courses to take to get into an OB/GYN specialty.
Every Friday night, I would head over to Bella's and spend the weekend there. Her due date is Valentine's Day, so I am hesitant to make any plans. Bella is feeling okay, but she is slow getting around, her feet swell when she's on her feet for even very short periods of time, and she is having trouble sleeping. We know the chances the baby would come a week or two after her due date is a very real possibility.
I am in my last class on Friday, February 13 when a text comes through. I am busy concentrating on what the professor is saying and figured it was just Bella checking in. A couple of minutes go by, and my phone starts to ring. It's Bella. My professor is not happy.
"Mr. Cullen?"
"Sorry, I gotta go!" I grab my books and exit the class while answering the phone. "Bella? What's wrong?"
"It's time to go to the hospital. I've been in labor since early this morning, and my contractions are about five minutes apart, and my water broke."
"Why did you wait to so long to call me? It'll take me thirty minutes to get to you and then more time to get to the hospital," I feel bad because I'm just about yelling at her.
"Edward. Calm down. Stacy, next door, is going to drive me. Just meet me at the hospital."
I'm running to my car now. "Okay, I'll see you there."
Bella beats me to the hospital. I run up to the reception desk. "Hi. Bella Swan. She's here to have a baby." The receptionist looks up the records and can't find her anywhere. "What? She texted me that she's here. Wait. Isabella Dwyer. Look under Dwyer."
"Ah, yes, fourth floor. Room 4220." I shout a quick thank you over my shoulder as I run toward the elevator.
I sprint down to 4220 and see Bella on the bed, oxygen mask on her face, IV in her arm. "Are you okay?"
She looks up at me, "Yeah, just trying to relax. I'm seven centimeters, so we have a ways to go."
"Can I get you anything?"
"I'm only allowed ice chips now, and there's a cup on the night stand. I'm fine."
I drag a chair over to the bed. I look at the monitor and notice Bella tense up. I can tell she's having a contraction, so I give her my hand and start quietly counting until she relaxes.
"Edward, I love you, but please don't start counting yet. You're going to have plenty of time later, and I don't want to get sick of your voice."
"Oh, okay."
Watching Bella go through childbirth is amazing. She's so strong, does what the doctor asks. She grunts and pushes, and at 12:03 am on Saturday, February 14, Claire Renee Dwyer is born. Bella immediately starts crying, and I hug her to me.
They let me cut the umbilical cord, then they swaddle her up and set her in Bella's arms while the doctor deals with the afterbirth. I knew that was coming, but it still isn't very pleasant.
I send my parents a couple of photos, one of Claire and one of the three of us, and then settle in the chair while Bella takes a quick nap.
At 3:00 am we are woken by the nurse to let us know Claire needs to be fed. Bella wants to breastfeed, so the nurse talks her through what to do, brings in a nursing pillow, and Claire goes to work. It is amazing to watch. The love in Bella's eyes is so bright.
Bella burps Claire, but I insist on changing her so Bella can rest. Then we all nap for another three hours before Claire wakes up again.
When it comes time to complete the birth certificate, Bella indicates no father and I have to admit it hurts. We haven't talked officially about me being the father, but I plan to be there every step of the way.
Bella can't wait to get out of the hospital, so with much convincing, the doctor releases her that afternoon. We pull up to the house around 4:30, and there is an unknown car parked out front. As soon as I got out of the car, my parents get out of the car in front of us. "Mom! Dad! What are you doing here?"
They wander over to me, Mom gives me a hug and a kiss, and Dad walks over to help Bella out of the car. "We thought you two might appreciate a little bit of help this first week home. If you don't want the help, we'll head to the hotel right now, but we wanted to offer our assistance."
"Thank you," I tell Mom while hugging her. I head to the backseat to get Claire and her car seat. Dad is helping Bella in the house.
I set Claire down on the coffee table, Mom right there watching her, and grab her bassinette which we stationed in the bedroom. She slept well in the car, but now that we're stationary again she's fussing. Bella takes her to change her and feed her in the nursery, wanting some privacy.
A short while later, Bella brings out a sleeping Claire and sets her in the bassinette. We all immediately surround her and watch her sleep. I tuck Bella under my arm and hug her. "She's beautiful, just like her mama," I tell her.
She smiles up at me, "She is beautiful. Let's let her rest."
We head into the kitchen, and Bella lets out a big yawn. "Why don't you go lay down, dear," my mother says.
"No, I'd like to visit with you for a little bit. I'll lie down a little later."
"Okay, but we won't be offended if you said you wanted to rest now. It's best to nap when the baby does."
"You're right, Esme. You sure you're okay?"
My mother cuts her off immediately, "Go!"
"Yes, ma'am." Bella gives me a kiss and heads toward the bedroom.
"Thanks, Mom. She thinks she's superwoman and can do this all on her own. I don't want her to wear herself out the first day Claire is home."
I stay with Bella through Monday morning, when I have to go back to school. Usually I would have gone back Sunday night, but I wanted to be with her as much as possible. My parents are staying at a small motel near Bella's, one they would usually never approach, but they want to be close.
My parents leave the following weekend, and Bella admits having my mother there the first week was a huge help.
For the next few weeks, Bella does amazing with Claire. She sings at every nap time and at night. When I'm there, I listen and marvel at how beautiful her voice is. I even pull out my iPhone to record her.
I comment how much I love her lullabies and play one for her. She looks at me with a huge smile. "Edward, I have a crazy idea. What if I release a CD of lullabies? I could sing, there would be no tour, but it could help other mothers with their babies."
"I love the idea! Can you do that?"
"I'll check with Leah and see what she thinks."
I can hear the "Hell, yeah!" through the phone, so I'm guessing that's good.
Once school is out, I live full time at Bella's for the summer. She recorded ten lullabies, and sales are phenomenal. Fans of her lullabies means her back catalog has started to sell as well. Bella refuses all offers of tours so she can stay home with Claire.
For my second year at school, we decide I'll continue to live at Bella's and commute. A friend of mine, Riley Biers, has an apartment near campus, so if I really can't stand the commute one night, I can crash there, but I can't imagine that ever happening.
~~~MS~~~
The week before school starts back up, I awaken to the sound of Bella retching in the bathroom. "Baby, are you okay?"
"Ugh. I think dinner must not have agreed with me."
We had Chinese Food from the same carry out we always buy from. After about an hour, Bella is fine and even hungry. I give her some toast and tea, and she's able to keep that down.
The next morning, the same thing happens. This reminds me a whole lot of what went on when Bella was eight weeks pregnant with Claire. "Bella. Do you think, maybe, you might be pregnant?"
She looks up at me with tears in her eyes. "I've been thinking the same thing."
Bella hadn't gone on birth control after Claire was born, because she was still breastfeeding on occasion, so we used condoms.
I run out and buy four different pregnancy tests. Back at home, Bella uses them and lines them up. Positive, four times. "How could this happen?" she asks.
"Well, we have been pretty active," I say with a smirk. Then I became totally serious. "Bella, I'll take care of you."
She shakes her head, "No, we're in this together."
Bella delivers a healthy baby girl, Emily Grace, on April 1. My parents are here for her birth. Bella and my mother have become very, very close. Bella is the daughter my parents always wanted, and she truly loves my parents as if they were her own.
When Emily is 14 months old, I turn 21 and immediately propose to Bella. She had just recorded a CD for toddlers to go along with the lullabies. The record label is clamoring for new music for the general public, but Bella refuses. She's happy singing songs to our two little girls, and that's enough.
We decide to marry on December 24, and I finally, officially, adopt Claire. Jasper, Alice, Emmett, and Rose all join my parents for the wedding, with Leah and Sam there, as well. I was the first to marry. Emmett and Jasper marry their girls the following year.
~~~MS~~~
I excel at school and my residency, and I am offered a position at one of the most prestigious OB/GYN offices in Los Angeles. Bella never once complains about my long hours or the ridiculous number of patients who flirt with me. Through it all, I only ever have eyes for Bella.
We decide after Emily was born to not have any more children. I insist on getting a vasectomy, as I don't want to put Bella's body through any more than it had been.
It's amazing to think those two concerts I attended of Bella's just a few years ago would lead me to a wife, two amazing daughters, and a career. I wouldn't change it for the world.
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