Sumeragi Sui
Notes: Yeah.. am I seriously coming back to FFN anytime soon? Well, the problem is that all my past fics, I've simply run out of inspiration for them. But this is Subaru birthday fic 2005. One day late, because last year it was one day early. Hehe.
And as horrible as it is, I forgot the exact words Fuuma said to Subaru in X/17. So it might be slightly incorrect. I wrote this under some.. odd circumstances, plus I haven't written anything in a while, so if it's not too good, I apologize ;;
Disclaimers: As always, X is copyright CLAMP.
Warnings: Just another random drabble.. this is all I have for you guys that could come out of my mind. Spoilers for X/16 and 17, if you haven't read them yet.
In this world, to live is to live alone.
No matter how many companions you may have, if they choose to betray you or leave you, you are left alone.
No human truly puts another ahead of themselves.
Kamui glanced at Subaru cautiously. Subaru, his eyes—one milky white glass and the other a brilliant emerald—blank and emotionless, gave no notice to Kamui.
Kamui seemed hopeless, his lips tightening in desire to whisper Subaru's name. But finally he sighed simply, staring at Subaru for a long, pregnant moment. Before he turned to leave, he glanced at Subaru one last time. "See you," he said softly as he went out the door, closing it behind him with a quiet click.
Subaru exhaled. He was alone at last—truly alone. His Wish had disintegrated with his love; his will to live no longer existent; there was nobody else, nobody left but him in the world. Nothing but him… and a faint, lingering, irritating tie to the Ten no Ryuu.
No more "friends"; no "loves"; no "family"; no "acquaintances". The only two people he'd ever truly loved… gone. What was there left to live for? If not for his… his petty sacrifice to save Subaru's life, he would have already done away with himself.
He stared at his hands with a sigh. The inverted pentagrams glowed in the dimly lighted room. With the smallest touch of his lips, he kissed them softly.
With exasperation he opened the windows, the curtains billowing slightly in the wind. Silently, Subaru disappeared.
If you take it…
You will take his place.
But why.. why would he care? All he had left was this. Why would he hold any loyalty to the Ten no Ryuu..? There was no reason to.
He took the jar from Fuuma, who looked at him momentarily. As in held it in his arms, he took Seishirou's place. He didn't care what Kamui thought; what any of them thought. Why would he care..? He was alone. He didn't need them. He didn't need anyone. He only needed... this.
Even if you are family, your blood is your only permanent connection.
Even if you love, who you love may not love you back.
Even if you are loyal to someone, that person may not be loyal in return.
But even so… if you have someone to love, you have something left to live for.
- e n d -