A/N
Stephanie Meyer owns Twilight, of course. We fanfic writers just like to play with her characters sometimes.
Also, Ms. Cassadee Pope owns the song One Song Away. I was just inspired by the song she wrote and decided to play with it. Do read it while listening to the song.
And I am back after two long years of hiatus. Honestly, I forgot my log in details and I was pretty uninspired and life was a complete mess. Well, in some ways, it still is. I'm currently looking for a job and while I am on the hunt, I decided to write fanfiction again. I will still be writing one shots because I have no idea if I would be able to finish a story. I salute the fanfic writers who are able to finish multi chapter stories! Onto the fic!
As usual, please Rate and Review :)
BPOV
"Well, well, well. If it isn't little Miss Swan" I heard his voice and his goddamn Southern accent that always manages to melt me. I immediately composed myself and put on my best poker face.
"Well yourself Whitlock. How are you doing?" I asked.
I watched him run his hand through his hair and shrug "Same old same. I just wanted to wish you luck on your performance" he then gave me a hug.
As brief as the hug was, I savored it and held back the tears. If only he knew that the song I'm singing is for him. I hate that we're apart. I hate every minute of it but I can't do anything about it but respect his wishes. He wanted this and he knows that I didn't but I'm a crazy girl in love, if he's no longer happy with me then who am I to hold him back? I just want him happy, whether or not it's with me is not important.
"Thanks, you better get back to your seat. You wouldn't want to miss this one" I tried to sound nonchalant but on the inside, I was a bundle of nerves and I was gathering the courage to perform this song in front of him, the best and biggest musicians and more than a thousand people. I'm debuting this song as my new single for my latest album.
I had much too much to say when Jasper and I broke up. Fortunately, our breakup was not publicized too much, we just both released a statement that it was a mutual decision but our friends know the reality of the situation and they know how much I'm hurting.
We've been together before we were even in the music industry so our breakup was a big shock to everyone but more so, to me. I was so blindsided by everything but hey, I got an album out of it. Can you feel the sarcasm rolling off of me? I feel that this is my best work yet due to all the raw emotions and lyrics. Even in the album, you could hear me crying and sniffling like a big baby.
"Miss Swan, one minute" I heard the stage director tell me.
"Okay Swan, get it together."
"And three, two, on stage now please"
I took a deep breath and plastered a smile on my face. As soon as I went out the stage, I heard the screaming fans and it helped give me the courage to push through with this.
I smiled and waved and heard the music start "Hey everyone, I will be debuting my new single today! And my new album Heartstrings comes out on September 13th so don't forget to grab a copy of it." I took a deep breath before proceeding, "this new song is called One Song Away, it's about how a song can take you back in time and bring back a lot of memoriesor how a song can completely blindside you and make you feel things that you thought were long gone, only to realize in the end that you're fooling yourself, thinking that you're over someone, this is for you"
I was looking for Jasper during the whole time I was making my little speech.
I started singing and I remembered how this song came about.
"Late at night
Can't go to sleep
It's just me and the radio
Every single melody is wrecking me
And I know I'm getting close
To losing all control
And picking up the phone"
I was listening to my iPod and heard a song that Jasper used to sing to me, it brought back so many memories, even happy songs make me sad now because I remember how we would dance around and goof off to so many of these songs. I scan the crowd, desperately hoping to see Jasper.
"I'm one song away
From breaking down and calling you up
And each one that plays is telling me that I'm still in love"
Damn him and his beautiful smile, I want to lash out at him for making me fall in love and leaving me hanging. My heart is aching and everything reminds me of him. No matter how much I try to fool myself that I'm no longer in love, that I no longer care for him; every fiber in my being craves him, in the most innocent way. I long to tell him how much I love him, I miss sleeping in his arms, I miss hearing his laughter. I just miss everything about him and everything about us.
"Every word in every line
Is singing how I feel tonight
It's all I can take
Now I'm one song away
I'm just one song away"
It's the middle of the night, its 2AM and these songs are making me even more depressed, it did the opposite of what I was hoping for. I'm sorely tempted to throw out my iPod or maybe break it into pieces. I don't know, either one of the two would do. But maybe it would be better to just write a song. The break up still hurts, it's like there's a hole in my heart and only Jasper can fill it.
"I could turn it off or tune it out
But I'm too gone for saving now
So what's the use?
No matter what I try to do
I'm back and forth
I toss and turn and think of you
The later that it gets
The more I wanna give in"
I was so engrossed in my writing and thinking up of the melody. The words and music were just flowing out of me, guess getting your heart broken is a good writing material? Damn it, I can feel my eyes start to water. "Get a grip Swan, you cannot cry in front of them" I mentally berated myself.
"I'm one song away
From breaking down and calling you up
And each one that plays is telling me that I'm still in love
Every word in every line
Is singing how I feel tonight
It's all I can take
Now I'm one song away
I'm just one song away"
Damn, the tears are flowing now. I just truly miss Jasper, I can't remember how many nights I had to leave my phone with my best friend, Rose, just so I wouldn't call him. Just so I wouldn't be that desperate, begging ex. I loved him so much, I still do and I think I always will. Even when I think I'm okay, even if I think that I've already moved on. Something will always make me think of him. Does he miss me as much as I miss him? Does he still love me?
"I'm one song away"
"Hold it together Bella you can break down in the dressing room, it's less than a minute, the song's almost done and the audience seems to like the song." I was desperately trying to hold it together.
"Oh and every word and every line
Is singing how I feel tonight
It's all I can take
Now I'm one song away
I'm just one song away
Late at night
Can't go to sleep
It's just me and the radio"
The song is finally over. I open my eyes and smile at the crowd, wiping away stray tears. Jasper wasn't even here, he wasn't even here to hear the song. The song that I wrote for him.
"Thank you for that incredibly moving performance! Ms. Bella Swan, everyone"
I head off to my dressing room hearing the host thank me and the cheering of the audience.
I rush to the dressing room and break down and cry. It still hurts to this day, I wish I could just tell him but I'm much too much of a coward to actually tell him how I feel.
I hear a knock on my door and I head to the bathroom to frantically wipe away my tears and fix myself up. "Thank God for waterproof mascara" I mutter underneath my breath.
"Yeah? Come in" I call out from the bathroom. I hear the door open and I put on my best poker face for whoever's outside. I step out and falter in my tracks. It's Jasper looking incredibly stressed and tired. A far cry from earlier today.
"Oh, hey" I mumble weakly.
He looks at me with an intensity that leaves me uncomfortable and for a long time we don't speak and I'm starting to feel stifled by the silence.
I hear him sigh. "Bella, was, was that song, was…was it for me?" he asks with hesitation in his voice.
"Are you asking if I wrote it about you or if I was dedicating it to you?" I retort. This man can be so clueless sometimes!
"Both I guess" he tells me.
I look away from him, "There's your answer Mister Whitlock"
I see him getting frustrated and he starts to speak but I cut him off.
"Look Jasper, I understand that you don't want to be with me anymore and you probably don't love me anymore. But I still love you, I honestly do, I can't help it. Yes, I'm hurting, do I wish we were still together? Yes! But I'm not going to sit here and beg you to take me back. I respect your decisions but from now on, I have one request from you. Please don't talk to me, let me grieve, let me move on. I can't do that if you're always near me. That's all I'm asking for now." I finish with tears in my eyes and I leave the room, unable to face him any longer.
When I get home, I immediately went to bed, thought about him and tried hard to not cry myself to sleep. I wish that I could rewind or go back in time. I would right my wrongs, or maybe fight harder for Jasper but I guess it's time to move on now.
A/N
That is it guys! I hope you enjoyed reading it :)