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I made this for a story we have to write in science class. It may seem a little boring at first, but something interesting happens at the end. Now you can learn and read a book about a video game... At the same time! Yay!
"Hello, little human! My name is Wheatley and I am your tour guide on the Aperture Science Elevator Tour through Earth's Layers! Okay now, I must start off, of course, with the first layer of the Earth, where you humans live, the crust! Yay!
The crust is made up of 46.6% oxygen, which is good because your weak little human bodies need it to live and, well y'know, live. The crust is also made up of 27.8% silver cars and- Wait? What did you say? It was silicon? Oh yeah, um well… I meant to say 27.8% silicon, I was just testing if… you knew about the Earth! Just seeing if you are as smart – and gullible – as they say you are! Wait, did I just say that? Oops.
Okay, lets ignore the last five seconds and move on to a pop quiz! How thick is the Earth's crust? No, it is not 30 – 50 kilometers thick! Where did you get that? The answer is, drumroll, 30 to 50 kilometers thick! Yeah, I know, who could've known? Now, enough with the boring crust, lets descend! Just step into that elevator and… fabulous job! That was the best step into the elevator, I've ever seen! Hmm… they said flattery made humans happier… Anyway descending in action!
"Here we have the next layer of Earth, the mantle! Lucky for you this elevator is heat proof. Yeah, technology is bloody fantastic these days!
This layer may take a little longer to get through because it is 2,900 km thick! So get cozy and listen to the elevator music provided! Which by the way is the classist music in all of Earth's Layers!" (Jazz Music) "What? You want to actually learn something about the mantle? Well, fine then.
The mantle takes up 84% of the Earth's volume. The mantle is 44.8% oxygen. The mantle is made of silicate rocks that are rich in iron and magnesium. The mantle is solid. The – Why are you so picky! First its, I hate jazz, and then its, stop being so boring! You humans are so… weird and emotional!
What? I'm the one who is being emotional? Poor ol' crushable robot Wheatley? Well, I'm going to go and sulk in a corner! Learn about the mantle yourself!" (A few seconds pass) "Okay, maybe I like talking to you.
"Now we are approaching the outer core. By the by, the only reason why we are not being burned to ashes right now is because of the elevator and its heat keeping out technology, so don't wander off toward the outer core again… that is unless you do want to be burned to ashes, that's a whole different story.
Anyway the outer core is actually liquid . It is also nade of iron and nickel. So if your voice processor didn't hear me for the last few seconds, that means it is liquid iron and nickel!
The outer core is… what are you doing over – the square root of rope is string – don't touch that! Yes, back away from the wall of hazardous buttons. Good human! Now, as I was saying before you messed with those hazardous buttons over there – that are hazardous – the outer core is 2,266 kilometers thick.
" We are now arriving at the inner core, which you shouldn't mistake for the outer core because they are two completely different things. The inner core is in the center of the Earth, I once saw a movie about that. It failed though, horrifying graphics. Ugh! The inner core is also composed of iron and nickel, not melted though.
The inner core is approximately 5,000 degrees Celsius and – What? Oh no! Oh no, No nononono! The elevator only takes up to –" (Warning; Elevator heat level exceeded) "Aah! We're gonna die! I don't deserve to die! Use your human intellect to fix the –" (Shutting Down) "NOOO!" (Elevator is melting, please input password to manually operate the elevator to the surface.) "Ugh, I know this one! Umm… A-A-A-A-A!" (Incorrect) "A-A-A-A-B!" (Incorrect) "I'm gonna skip ahead here. A-B-C-D-G-H!" (Password Accepted)
"Yes! I'm alive! Oh, and you are too. Up we go through 1,220 km of inner core! Wait, wait! The elevator is going too fast! Ahh! I hate thrill rides!" (Ding. Welcome to the crust! Enjoy your trip home!) "Yay! That is actually the first time we went through all of the layers without exploding, so congratulations! Hopefully that is the last as well. Visit the Aperture Souvinier Shop on your way out!"
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Did you learn something? If you did, please review! They make me a whole lot happier! Seriously, I get up and do a five second dance party every time I see a review.