Alison was tired. No, not just tired she was exhausted to be exact.
It wasn't always easy. Actually, it was almost never easy but this week has been the worst.
She got used to the looks they attracted. Her and her wife. The judging stares by strangers, the whispers at the store when she and Emily went through the baby section, picking up a new pack of diapers with two identical looking toddlers waddling after them.
Today however was different though. Emily wasn't with her and she wore a tired expression on her face as she walked through the Target.
Sleep was a luxury with a pair of two year old twins and the bags under Alison's eyes were evidence of that.
"M-mommy!" Grace cried.
"What is it, Gracie?" Alison squatted down in front of the wailing toddler. She wiped the tiredness off her face and put on a smile instead, drying the tears off Grace's pudgy cheeks with her thumb.
Grace pointer her finger in a direction, waving it around wildly, trying to communicate what caused her such distress without actually being able to form a lot of words.
I mean... She did just start talking. She is only two.
"Illy," Grace said, "Illy." She pouted again.
Immediately, Alison's stomach sank. Lilly. Grace was trying to say her sister's name and that was when Ali realized she was nowhere to be seen. She had just turned her back to the twins for five seconds to reach for the diapers on the top-shelf, and now she was gone.
"Oh no. No, no, no, no, where is she? Lilly?!" Alison scooped the remaining twin up into her arms and looked around frantically, but Lilly wasn't in the aisle with them. Alison was sure both twins where still with her when they entered it – but two year olds could be incredibly fast if they wanted to. And Lilly usually only wanted to, when she could slip from Alison's view somehow.
Okay. She needed to calm down. If she panicked now, she'd just make Grace cry even more. Lilly couldn't be that far away, could she? He was after all still a toddler with very short legs. Very, very short legs. The twins were small, even for their age.
Lilly wasn't in the aisles near them either, but there was one more spot Alison had to check. They usually went to the same store for all their shopping needs, so even though they didn't normally let the twins walk around the shop. They knew their way around, especially Lilly.
Lilly was a clever child. She started to walk when she was only one year old, whereas her sister needed another six months before she started her first tries. Lilly was better at talking too but her social skills on the other hand were far behind those of her sisters. While Grace already learned to share when asked to Lilly would start screaming and crying and refused to give up anything she considered hers. Where Grace showed first signs of empathy, Lilly still focused on herself and her own needs. The pediatrician assured Alison and Emily it was completely normal for children, even identical twins to develop in different stages and paces, but sometimes she couldn't help but worry about Lilly just a little bit more.
Just like now, when Alison was power-walking through a Target at three in the afternoon, navigating through the mass of customers with a toddler on her arm. Their shopping cart abandoned in the baby aisle. She could hear Lilly before she could see her.
"No!" Lilly shouted and Alison's heart skipped a beat. Her legs carrying her faster as if in reflex.
"No! Let go!"
Alison all but skidded into the candy aisle. Grace shrieked, holding onto Alison and immediately bursting into tears again while Lilly struggled against an older lady and a young employee, kicking and hitting and screaming as if they were burning her. When in reality they just tried to hold onto her so she wouldn't run off.
"Lilly!" The small toddler look alike ignored Alison's voice but it caught the attention of the people in the aisle, including the two people trying to get a hold of her.
"Is this your child?" The Target employee asked, relief evident on his face.
"Yes," Alison said. "I'm sorry... normally my wife comes with me to help with the twins. I just turned my back for a second."
The older woman threw her a look and spotted the second crying twin on her arm and tutted. A scornful expression on her face. Alison ignored it. It wasn't worth it and she was used to it.
Fuck her.
"Lilly, stop making a scene and come here." Alison demanded.
"You should keep a better eye on your child," the old woman chided.
"Yes, sorry," Alison gritted her teeth. She wasn't about to argue with her. She knew it wouldn't lead to anything but frustration. Instead, she went over to grab Lilly's hand. Two seconds later, there was a sharp pain on her thumb and Alison breathed in harshly.
"Ow! Shit, Lilly, stop biting me!"
"Jeeze, no surprise your child is so misbehaved. You should watch your language!"
Alison bit her tongue and held back tears. Not of pain but of the ignorance of people and anger. Pure anger...
This bitch.
She hated how people always condemned her and the twins, telling her how she would raise her kids. It always seemed to happen after they found out she was married to a woman.
"Yes, sorry," Alison murmured. She ducked her head and tugged at Lilly's hand until the toddle stopped biting and begrudgingly, stopped struggling against Alison's hold as well. A speck of Red was on her bottom lip when she started to pout instead.
When they turned to leave the aisle, Alison heard the old lady say to another woman:
"That's why people like that should go to church. Two mothers raising twins! It just isn't right. Things like this shouldn't happen. There are loving straight couples who want children. It's a shame."
Alison was just too tired. Normally, before the twins were born she would have annihilated that old douche bag. Now, it just wasn't worth it. So she did the adult thing... she walked away.
At home Alison put a band-aid on her bleeding thumb and prepared dinner for the twins without another word about the incident. As her stew was cooking away Alison had five minutes to just breathe, she watched the twins play peacefully and couldn't help but smile. Just a second later she felt tears burning behind her eyes but she swallowed them. Busied herself with the washing up instead.
She needed Emily. She hadn't called yet. Why hadn't she called yet?
Before Alison knew it she was seated in front of the TV that night with a glass full of wine in her hand. She was already on her second drink. Both girls fast asleep in their cribs in the bedroom. Alison normally didn't allow herself to cry. But tonight she cried and cried and cried and drowned her sadness in wine.
She missed her wife.
Emily had been gone for a three days now. She was due back in two days. Alison couldn't do this alone. She needed her. It was too hard. Alison looked at the clock as she wiped her tears.
Why hadn't Emily fuckin' called yet?
And like always, knowing exactly when Alison needs her, her wife calls. There should have never been any doubt. Emily has always knows exactly when Alison needed her. The blonde's iPhone lights up and a picture of her wife when they were younger, flashes on the phone's screen. Alison can't help the immediate smile the plasters on her face, even though the tears. She sniffles. Trying to take away any evidence she was crying. She didn't want to worry her wife.
"H-hey baby..." Alison chocked out, her eyes watering again even before hearing her girl's voice.
Way to not let Emily know you're having a mental break down without her Alison.
"Hey pretty girl. I've missed you." Emily sweetly says into the phone.
"I've missed you too Mama." Alison tries her best not to sniffle, causing her throat to tighten up.
Damn it, she was gonna cry, again.
"What's wrong baby?" Emily immediately coos.
"Nothing-"
"Ali baby. I asked you what was wrong." The brunette now demands an explanation from her wife. Showing her dominate side. Knowing that Ali has something to say.
-Silence-
They both listen to each other breathing. Neither backing down. Emily looking straight ahead waiting for her wife to tell her what is wrong. While Ali has her eyes casted down, playing with one of the throw pillows on their couch in the family room.
"I went to Target today." Ali starts softly.
"Who watched the girls?" Emily asked intrigued. I mean Alison wouldn't have took the girls by herself. Would she? They were a handful.
"I-I took them with me."
"Ali baby-" Emily starts before being cut off by her wife's rambling.
"It was horrible Em." Ali was done. "God..." She lost it and started sobbing on the phone to her wife. "I-I-I almost lost Lilly and there was this mean old lady and-and Gracie wouldn't stop crying." The blonde continued to sob.
She knew she made no sense but Emily just listened and calmly as always "Shhh..." The tan girl hummed through the phone. Calming her wife. Alison could almost feel her lovers embrace. Could almost feel Emily hugging her and comforting her by running her hands through her blonde hair. "It's okay baby. Just a few more days. I'll be home soon my love."
"I can't do this without you Em." Alison continue to sob for her lover. "I need you here with-with me." The crying woman hiccupped.
"I know baby. I'm not going anywhere. I'm here for you. The girls just have two more swim meets and then we are all on the next bus home to Rosewood my love. Hopefully with the championship."
"You're not allowed to leave this long again Emily. Do you hear me?" Alison scolded her wife.
"Yes baby. I hear you." The swim coach says calmly. Knowing her wife is just frustrated with how her day went. "Do you want me to come home right now my love?" She asked in the most serious and compassionate voice.
"No, no, I'm sorry. No baby. You're just doing your job. I know that. I'm just-" Alison swallows. "I'm just being a brat. I miss you." The English teacher pouts.
"Aww... don't pout my love. You know I hate it when you pout." Emily coos.
"I know. I'm sorry. I'm okay." Alison sits up straight and wipes her tears. "I just needed to hear your voice." She admits openly. A blush creeping up on her cheeks. "I feel better now baby," She promises.
"Are you sure Ali? I'll leave right now if you need me too."
"Of course, I'm fine. The twins are fine. Just focus on your girls Em. Focus on that win. Make abandoning your family for a week worth it." Alison now teases with a smile.
"Wha-" Emily's words get caught in her throat. Rendering her speechless as Alison starts to chuckle. "Ali, that isn't funny. You there, in that home, you are my girls. I would never-"
"I know baby. I'm just playing."
Emily smiles into the phone. Both her and her wife now sitting in comfortable silence. Loving their time together. Even if it's apart. One sitting in the family's living room and the other in a Hilton Hotel room in Philly.
"Soooo..." Alison breaks the silence. "What are you wearing?" She snickers into the phone.
Emily can't help it as a laugh falls out of her lips. Shaking her head at her wife's antics.
"You my love are amazing." Emily can't help the huge grin that is on her face as she praises her wife. "You are an amazing wife. You are an amazing Mommy. Those two little girls love you with all of their hearts. I love you with all of my heart. I'm counting the minutes till I can be with you again. I need you so badly. I need to feel you against me in my arms love. I hate sleeping alone. I know it's only been three days but my god..." Emily feels the lump in her throat threatening to come out in a sob. "I miss you baby."
"Oh Em." Ali almost whimpers. "I needed to hear that so badly. Thank you."
"No Ali. Thank you. Thank you for letting your dumb ass wife, who loves coaching, leave you with two, two year old twin girls for five days during summer break with grandma out of town with no help. It won't be for nothing baby. The girls are doing so well in the water, Ali. Their working hard. We're going to bring home a championship for Rosewood. Thank you for letting me train them during the summer. The summer we should be having off together with our twin babies."
"Just make sure your girls win Em." Ali smiles into the phone. "Show the school board your worth to the team. That way there is no way they won't give you the position of head athletic director for the school. You're not only an amazing swim coach but you're an amazing coach period. They would only be so lucky."
"I'm the lucky one."
"Yeah? How so?"
"Because I have you. The love of my life. The mother of my children. The strongest woman I know."
-Silence-
"Are you trying to kill me?" Alison finally speaks, with the widest grin and a deep blush across her cheeks. At that Emily can't help but laugh out loud.
"Kill you? What in the world... I was trying to be sweet."
"I'm so fuckin' in love with you Emily Fields."
"And I, you, Alison DiLaurentis. But you could have left out the curse word." Emily scolded lightly. Alison shook her head and smiled again. Emily always did that. Call her by her maiden name and told her not to cuss.
"No my love. It's Alison Fields. Did you forget I had your babies and then you married the fuck outta me?"
"I'd never forget that Mrs. Fields. Especially the fuckin' you part."
"Good, keep that in mind while you're away." Then all of a sudden the mood changes. "You better not be letting anyone flirt with you; Parents, other coaches or STUDENTS Emily." Alison says in all seriousness.
"What?" Emily chuckles again. "Where did that come from?"
"Don't act all innocent Emily. I've seen plenty of people eyeing you up and down in your 'I'm a sexy young coach wearing a blue sharks uniform from Rosewood. I have long sexy legs with dark silky hair and the most beautiful jaw line anyone has ever seen.'" Alison ends almost upset with how beautiful her wife is.
"Hey, you love my coach uniform. Don't be mean and the other stuff isn't my fault. I can't change the way I look."
"Exactly! I know exactly what all those mothers are thinking. Oh and yes you can. Why don't you miss a morning run every once in a while? And-and it wouldn't hurt you to eat more." Alison pouted.
"Really Ali? Really..." Emily tries her best to hold in her laugh.
"I don't think its funny Emily." Her wife huffs.
"Babe... but students?" The coach questions confused.
"Did you happen to forget that our best friend married her high school English teacher? The same one she met when she was only fifteen years old!"
"I'm already married and I coach the Varsity Team. Most of the girls are 16 and up." Emily defends in amusement.
"I swear to God..."
"Mommy, calm down. No one is flirting with me. At least to my knowledge." The brunette answers truthfully.
"Mama, what you sometimes consider 'them just being nice' is someone flirting with you."
"So what? People can't be nice to me anymore?"
"You're impossible. You know exactly what I mean."
"And you're adorable when you're jealous."
-Silence-
"So... let's get back to your first question and reverse it. What are you wearing?" Emily giggles with a wiggle of her eyebrow as Alison hangs up the phone. Which causes Emily to burst out in amused laughter.
"God I love that woman."
XXXXXXXXXX
Hello Lovelies,
It's been a while. I know I have other things I need to finish. Trust me, I have every intention on finishing my stories. Now, just to get back into the swing of things. I had Amanda edit this like months ago. I have no idea what took me so long to post but please know. I'm still a huge Emison Shipper and I'm here for the long haul. Ohh... and anyone else excited for PLL The Perfectionist? Um... Yes please.
Till next time,
~Andrea