Author- Emily-Grace Mendes (Brookebynature)
Disclaimer- No, I don't own the characters or the show, or the sons featured at the beginning and end of this. But I do own this story.
A/N- Just another little Naley one shot, coming from me because I've been bored for the past hour, so I had to do something to entertain myself. Set in the future, so take it as you will. Enjoy xxx
Would You Have Stayed?
I would fall asleep
Only in hopes of dreaming
That everything would be like is was before
But nights like this it seems are slowly fleeting
They disappear as reality is crashing to the floor
He sees it on the national news. Haley James is performing live in her home town of Tree Hill, the same town Nathan left all of those years ago, in search of something he hasn't ever found. He's still not sure why he left, or even what he's looking for, but the memories of that empty apartment flood back to him, that huge pink stain on the wall, the smashed picture board, the noise of the keyboard against the wall.
He remembers all those days he spent in the school gym, just after she left, shooting ball after ball through the basketball hoop, telling himself that maybe, just maybe, if he scores another, she'll come home.
She never did.
And now his shaking hands burn for a lighter, a cigarette, so he can watch that spark emerge. He presses them together, sinks into the couch as his blue eyes just stare at her picture on the television screen.
It's Lucas that rings first, telling his brother that he wanted to let him know before Brooke finds out and does it herself. And Nathan smiles, remembering the day she came back, and the day that she told Lucas she loved him.
At least she came home.
Brooke does ring though, tells Nathan that Lucas might have missed some of the details. But he doesn't want to listen. He doesn't want to know that she's only playing one night, that tickets go on sale tomorrow, that the venue is Tric.
And yet he can't stop his brain absorbing the information as though his life depends on it.
Maybe it does.
Brooke passes the phone to Lucas, and he checks his brother is alright. Nathan says of course, and that no, he's not going. And almost cruelly, he hears Haley's song in the background, and then Brooke's raspy voice telling her daughter to turn off the c.d player.
A mischievous giggle, and squeals of "Annie Haley" before laughing, and tickling. They told their daughter about the best friend she'd never meet, and it's as though she loves her anyway.
But she doesn't understand.
And then when he goes to bed, staring at the alarm clock as the minutes tick away, he closes his eyes. Every one is a minute closer until the tickets go on sale. And Nathan knows he'll be the first on the phone.
----
He's lucky to get a last minute flight, Nathan knows that. But luck hasn't been on his side for a while, he figures it's only fair that it changes.
Even his Ipod can't block out the song he heard on the phone the previous day. No matter how much he turns up the volume, how hard he squeezes his eyes shut, the words echo in his mind.
He hates that song and loves it at the same time.
----
It's a sweeping mass of brunette hair Nathan sees first at the airport, two little arms flung around his waist, a shrieking little girl with Lucas' eyes and Brooke's personality burying her head in his chest as he hoists her up to him.
"I gotted new shoes" and she points to the pair of red sandals on her little feet, smiling widely at him, reminding him what he's missing.
"Mommy said they were pwetty."
And then he wonders whether Haley's at least a little curious to find out how her friends lives turned out.
Maybe she just doesn't care.
----
"You nervous?" Lucas asks him at dinner that night, his fork poised above the white china, just waiting to stab his vegetables when he receives the answer.
Nathan shakes his head "It's just a concert"
And Lucas glances over at Brooke, who's too busy cutting up their daughter's food to notice the concern on his face. But she can sense it. And when he turns away again, she squeezes his hand, a small smile crossing her face.
"I's not coming tonight" The little girl tells him sadly after dinner. "Daddy says no"
"Daddy says bath time" Lucas shouts through, a towel in his hand, wiping the plates as Brooke hands them to him, soap suds down her face, and when Nathan completes the jigsaw, he really realises what he's missing.
And a few minutes later, he finds himself bathing the other girl who has his heart, singing Haley's song-she knows where they're going.
"When's Libby meeting Annie Haley? She asks, and Nathan chuckles at her use of third person speech, silently telling himself that she is definitely Brooke's daughter.
Libby for Elizabeth, named after Peyton, the one that had kept in touch, had informed them of her marriage to a guy who worked for a comic book company. They didn't give her the middle name 'Haley' Lucas was still too pissed at her back then.
----
And almost too soon, Nathan finds himself standing in Tric, a place he hadn't realised he missed. But Karen's here, and Brooke, and Lucas. They're all here to see the girl who left without a goodbye.
He just hopes she appreciates the thought.
With fists clenched, teeth biting his lip on the inside (because he can't let the others see how nervous he actually is) and heavy legs, he watches her appear on stage, the crowd screaming her name as she greets 'the town she'll always call home'
And Lucas looks over just as Nathan scoffs. Hypocrite.
She sees him. He knows that because just the same as him, she can't look away. He can see the tears pricking behind those brown eyes of hers, and he feels his own icy glare soften, something he knows he shouldn't let happen.
But he does, and it's just as well.
He's not sure he could stand it if she thought he hated her.
There's that lump present in his throat again, the same one that he felt the night she left, and the same one he felt the other day as her picture appeared on screen.
And he silently curses her for what she makes him feel.
----
"You were great out there." It's all he can say without screaming that she hurt him more than anyone.
"I'm sorry."
She watches him, waits for a reaction, something, anything.
"Nathan." She reaches to touch his arm.
"Don't"
"Just….know that I'm sorry."
"For what?" He's back to the cold, hard guy he'd made himself out to be all those years ago when she first left.
"Everything"
"What do you want me to say Haley?" he raises his voice a touch, yet not loud enough for anyone to hear. "That it's okay? That I forgive you for what you did to me?"
"It wasn't just me." She hisses angrily. It's what she'd been afraid of.
"What the hell is that supposed to mean?"
"You were the one who told me to choose."
He sighs, rubbing his forehead roughly as he sinks into the couch. She looks good, he can't deny that. And she sounds even better than she did before she left. But Nathan reassures himself that it's just his imagination.
"I thought that if I left, you'd come. When I was sat on that bus, I thought you'd come and tell me how much you loved me, and how much you wanted me to stay."
"Would you?" He softens his tone again, eyes looking straight into hers as though she might disappear if they don't.
"Would I what?"
"Stay."
He stands up, moves a little closer so he can smell the perfume, so he can see every contour of her face, every single detail near enough for him to memorise.
"And if I'd said that to you all of those years ago, If I'd told you I love you more than anything, would you have stayed?"
She sighs, a little too loudly she realises, and when she opens her eyes after trying to stop the flow of tears, he's silently begging for an answer.
"No"
He turns to leave, but Haley grabs him just in time.
"But I'd have kissed you and told you I love you too. And that I'd be back for Christmas."
"Thanks" He replies sarcastically. Too sarcastically not to hurt her, but that's just match for her previous sigh.
"I had to go Nathan. You know that."
He closes his eyes again, admitting defeat. And putting it off all of these years hasn't removed any of the pain.
"I still love you. Always and forever." She tells him, her trembling hands reaching up to smooth out the frown on his face. And when she puts her forehead against his, letting out a shaky breath, he whispers his response.
"I love you too."
I wish the best of everything for you
Hope you know that I honestly I do
How long can you run?
Turn your back on everyone?
Just let me know
When you're tired of being alone