The windswept plains of the new world brought a smile, if sad, to the likes of Fang. The reminder of home was all she needed, in a place so foreign and barren as this. It was not to say that the new world was bereft of life - why, one who wished for peace and serenity would enjoy such a thing - but these plains felt decidedly empty, especially with what happened some years ago.
Now in a world without magic, without crystals and without chaos, Fang found herself at a bit of a dilemma. To say that this dilemma was minor was to cast away all meaning of the word, and her crouched form suggested that she was having a hard day indeed. Even after all this time, she still could not forgive herself for the actions which ultimately ended Nova Chrysalis.
In the world being consumed by chaos, her best friend was led to believe that a certain ritual would save the souls of the dead. Upon finding that this wasn't the case, Fang made it her life goal to make sure that Vanille would not go through with it. Though knowing she would be sacrificed for the greater good, the auburn haired girl found her heart too kind to refuse such a thing. It seems that in this timeline, in this relative space, her fate was decided the moment she was sheltered in by the Order.
Even the promise of being in a brand new world wasn't enough for the Oerban to be satisfied, it simply had to involve Vanille, alive, in some way. While the Saviour worked to betray God Himself, Fang tried her hardest to get through the cathedral before the Soulsong could commence. Alas, nowadays, she finds herself without purpose, without any form of need to be, to exist. Oerba Yun Fang was no more. "Fang" was all she was, at this point in time.
Crouching there in that lush field, the raven haired woman contemplated those last few moments before Vanille was lost forever. She was told that eventually, with time, even that memory of the girl she loved like a sister would come to fade also, but she refused to move on from that. Stubborn was she, built to withstand even the hardest of mental and physical adversaries. Though now, she was barely functioning, and her will to go on was dwindling with each agonising day.
Another regret surfaced from what happened to Nova Chrysalis. As the dead souls were purged, another important person was lost in the devastation of humanity itself: Serah Farron. The younger sister of Lightning was also gone, along with countless people who once existed, but nevermore.
Lightning found herself in such a rut too. Her sole goal was to save her sister, and yet, even by defeating God himself, she failed to get what she wished for. Had she not been a puppet from the beginning, perhaps things would be different. Now, as the eroding memories faded into the backs of the minds of those who still lived; those with souls that were saved, the last Farron made her way over to the abode which was owned by, but rarely used, by Fang.
The two had worked together on many occasions, and even toward the end, their bond was as strong as ever. Everyone wished for a happily ever after, but upon finding nothing but this depressing existence to wake up to, many choices were immediately and utterly regretted. If only this had gone that way, if only that did not happen. The thoughts raced through their minds every single moment of the day, and despite being that of God's power, Lightning couldn't bring herself out of this hole, not this time.
The rosette's lack of listening, lack of emotion, ultimately costed her sister, her life. As this was the most important thing to her, the painful realisation would often cause the once totally independent, ruthless machine of a woman to weep, sometimes openly, as these pointless seconds tick by. It was so out of touch with who she was, and yet, she continued to do so anyways. No matter how powerful she is, or once was, the onset of total and utter failure caused all kinds of problems.
Lightning was the Saviour, but did she really "save" anyone here? Not only was her world consumed by chaos, leading to its need of reformation, it was also snatched away, piece by piece, from her memory. For even those blessed by divinity could not hold onto such precious memories forever. Now approaching thirty years of age, she truly wished to reevaluate her life, and how she led it. Would she do this for the memory of Serah? Vanille? Gods, how Snow could even cope with this, was beyond her. Once she knew how painfully but amazingly stalwart this tall man was, but now... He was barely a husk, the local pub being his main social hangout.
Hope had been lost too, destroyed before the Saviour's very eyes. Sazh, at the very least, had been able to keep his happiness, Dajh. Perhaps he was the only one who could truly say that he did not regret the path he took, as he traversed the world with the others.
Lightning truly did wonder if she deserved this, but then again, she was the one who fought so hard to get here. Even at the last moments of Nova Chrysalis, her chest felt a pang so strong that she thought she was die even before she reached this place.
Perhaps this is what they once called Hell, a place so fresh and new that it caused those with even a little sense of self to go mad. Knowing that some things simply could not be, in a world forcefully mundane, where miracles were barely in existence... Was this closer to the end than the end was?
In any case, beyond all of this, Lightning focused herself at least this once, trying not to chop her fingers off as she prepared a small meal for when Fang would eventually get back. The two were close before, but now, it was as though they were dependent on each other. One knew things, the other knew other things, and everything would be so joyful and ecstatic. Only, their heavy hearts were barely beating, and their eyes seemed so void of the light now.
After preparing the meal, the rosette sat herself down, hands clasped together between her legs, while she was forced to think things over again. 'Serah...' She thought, though it was like even this hurt to think about, a case of losing memory, and not knowing when it will completely be lost. 'How could I have done this to you? To you, to Vanille, to... So many people. I thought I would forget as soon as I got here, but here I am, remembering. This really is some kind of hell.' Before she could complete her thoughts, the door to the small house in the middle of nowhere opened, a drenched Fang stepping through the frame.
"Light, I wasn't expecting you until later." She gave a smile, chuckling as best she could, as she threw off her soaked jacket and placed it on a clothing hook. The once Oerban moved quickly toward the laundry area, away from Lightning's vision, and quickly got changed into some much more comfortable, warm, dry clothes. The storm had rolled in so quickly, it was as though Fang was out there for hours.
"I know, but I came around anyways. How are you holding up?" There was uncertainty in her voice, as though she was asking this more to herself than to Fang. Oh, how despair was riddled all over the once Saviour's face. The two had only recently found each other in this new world, and now as a couple of years had gone by, they frequently would check up on one another. Snow was a lost cause, and surrounded by the company he had, it was impossible to keep him in check, to keep him sane. Sazh, while obviously kind, had forgotten most if not all of the adventures he had partaken in, watching his son grow into a healthy teenager. He was never a bad father, that man.
"I'm, well... You know how it is." Fang replied simply, walking over to the kettle and turning it on, lingering somewhat. "I wake up, barely get myself up, and... I lose myself in the wilds around here. They ain't much, but I'll take it." It was evidenced by her tone of voice that she hardly meant those words, her loss riddled all over her grief stricken face. Fang too had taken to openly weeping, and while they were less frequent than Lightning, they were still so intense. Like a breakdown in a vat of acid, she goes from gripping onto her sanity to completely losing it for several, elongated moments.
Seeing the other's face coil and twist the way it did before such times of sadness, Lightning quickly got herself up and grabbed a hold of Fang, pulling her close, letting her feel the warmth of her body. The two had never been lovers, and while they could be seen as rather close roommates, their proximity was for comfort, to let each other know that they survived, even if they wish they hadn't. Fang sobbed, quietly, small tears littering the shoulder of Lightning, but alas, she did not go into a total frenzy like she usually would. Several times before this house has had to be renovated, for the raven haired woman knew no restraint when it came to her anger and anguish over losing Vanille. For lacking the powers of l'cie, the Oerban was still a force to be reckoned with in this mundane world.
Lightning stroked the other's back, her own face buried in the olive skin of Fang's shoulder. Despite rarely showing it to this particular woman, the Saviour did indeed feel the depression of her loss, which made her chest twist and coil in ways which hurt so much more badly than any physical wound. The rain outside seemed to settle the mood all the more, and Lightning soon found herself swaying, Fang's arms around her while her own held the other ever so close. Neither had ever been in love, but perhaps this was as close as they had come to such a thing.