"Welcome to story time, with Uncle Chris."

A raven haired male held a pipe, pinched against his two fingers. Dressed in a blue velvety robe and coffee colored slippers, he sat upon a magnificent chair, a large and probably comfy dark red with a single white silk pillow that he leaned on.

Clear bubbles flew out of the pipe as he slid it in his mouth, and the corner of his lips moved as he talked, "We will be exploring some twisted fairy tales with our twisted cast-"

"-with Izzy!"

A shrill voice called and Chris sighed and smacked a palm to his forehead multiple times as a redhead female, whose bouncy hair was a unusual shade of orange, leaped in with her usual outfit, a green crop top with a cut out for her breasts and a lime skirt which hid darker green shorts.

"I thought I kept you busy." Chris groaned, sliding down on his chair. Izzy nodded rapidly, speaking a blurred and quick words, "Uh-huh, uh-huh! The rhinos were a nice touch, but Izzy keeps great track of time!" She chirped, making a saluting gesture to him.

"I'm at your service! How does Izzy help with storytelling?"

"You wanna know how you can help?"

Nod nod.

"Well you can just sit back and play the quiet game...and let me read the story. No speaking!"

Izzy flopped down on the floor doggy-style, grinning widely, "Okie dokie! Oops! I spoke!" She gasped, "I spoke again! And again! And again! And again! And agai-"

"ZIP IT!"

The crazy nutcase made a zipping gesture over her lips as she threw away the "key".

"Thank you." Chris leaned over to the creatively carved antique nightstand and grabbed a large and dusty brown book.

He blew on it lightly, a cloud of dust flowing off and settling around him. The man coughed and opened the book, crinkled yellow pages turning as he flipped to a page, seeing an illustration, which showed three young bros, known as Geoff, Duncan and Harold, dressed as little pigs, with pink ears and snouts planted on their faces and a curled tail. Behind them Courtney as wolf, gray ears from her hair and a tail sprouting from her behind. Her usual french manicured nails were sharpened even more as they represented claws and her dark midnight orbs were now yellow with the pupil sharpened.

"Tonight, we will explore the tale of the Three Young Pig Bros and the Big Bad C.I.T Wolf."

"I love that story!" Squealed a voice behind him. He screamed a very high pitched scream as he whipped around, Izzy standing there, arms around her back and her usual crazed grin on her face.

"IZZY!" Chris screeched. He pointed at the carpet, "Sit and SHUT IT!"

Izzy pounted and stomped over to the spot, thumping down on the floor, arms crossed.

"As I was saying..." he continued, "Once upon a time..."

The three young bros were shown, walking around on a grassy and lush field with a dirt and soiled path laid in front of them.

"...there were three young bro pigs. The eldest was Geoff, who was also the most stupid..."

Geoff kept a huge grin on hs face as a fly flew into his ear and out of the next one. The only reaction that occurred was a little ear twitch.

"...the next young bro pig was Duncan, who was the meanest and the nastiest pig..."

Duncan began to shank a block of wood with a sharp knife as he kept his sharp gaze fixated on it. A small fly landed on his ear and his head shot up. The small bug began to flee and he chucked the pocket knife at the poor thing, obviously missing and hammering a tree.

"...and the youngest pig bro was Harlold..."

The skinny redhead with glasses held his head high as he walked, a book clutched in his grip.

"...who was the nerdiest and the geekiest..."

"Hey!" Harold exclaimed as the other dudes erupted with laughter.

"Shhh! Don't interrupt the stories!"

Harold groaned and stuck his nose back in the book as the others ceased laughter.

Chris the narrator cleared his throat and continued once again, "Now there was this big uptight C.I.T wolf named Courtney..."

The page flipped and Courtney was shown stalking around in the forest. A small bluejay landed on a branch near her. She stopped to look at it. The small bird chirped a tune. Courtney clasped her claw hands together, basking in the song but then her lovely face scrunched up.

The poor bird was startled as she pointed at him with an index claw finger and wagged it, "YOU PLAYED OFF TUNE!" She screamed, the single wind power from her howl sending the small creature flying and trees to bend.

The wolf girl hmphed and held her head high, strutting away once more.

"...she was the scariest in the forest. Her complaints were so loud that her howls broke trees. But she was in charge of keeping the forest...well...forest-themed."

"IS THAT A REDWOOD TREE IN A PINE FOREST?!" Courtney fumed. An unsuspecting beaver crossing paths with her was picked up by the scruff by her hands and placed in front of the tree, "You! Cut that down right now!"

The beaver made no protests as the red-faced wolf girl was scary enough, even if it wasn't at him and started gnawing on the redwood.

"Now...the three young dude pigs had just set out on an adventure to craft their new homes. They had heard stories about this big bad wolf, and had bid each other good bye and good luck to build their new homes."

Duncan pat Geoff on the back, "Good luck with your home, bro." The blonde pig bro smiled and nodded, "And you with yours."

The silence lasted a few moments before Harold spoke up, "And me?"

"Eh...you're bound to get eaten by wolves." Duncan waved his hand to dismiss him.

"Gosh! Rude! I have a better chance of surviving the wolf than you!" Harold exclaimed. Geoff rolled his eyes, "How so?"

"Because I know how to build a house!" Harold raised his nose in the air and crossed his arms, "All you two want to do is party! The wolf will surely get you!"

"All I hear is "BULLLLSHIIIIIIT'!" Duncan whooped, smacking Harold on the back forcefully as his glasses fell off his face, "I'll build the best house, nerd!"

"I won't have time for that!" Geoff adjusted his hat, "Yeah, I'll build a house, but it'll be quick, so I can explore and play!"

"I'll build the coolest house!" Duncan declared, "It'll be menacing and the wolf won't want to cross me!"

"You're both dumb!" Harold groaned, picking up his glasses "Fine! Get eaten by wolves, gosh! See if I care!"

"Okay, but it'll be you who gets eaten by wolves first!" Duncan grinned wickedly and walked off in the path, "I'll see you bros around!"

"Yeah, dude I should also probably get going." Geoff agreed, also padding off into a different intersection path and saluting them both, "Adios!"

Which left the redheaded pig bro by himself. He straightened his glasses, "I'll show them." Harold grumbled, "I'll show them both!"

The narrator began to speak again as Harold ran into the forest, "And so, the young dudes set off to build their own houses-"

"Grah!" Izzy leaped onto the paused setting, fake fangs plastered to her teeth and large false wolf paws on her hands, and atop her head was a headbands with poorly glued-on gray wolf ears and a dark wolf tail from her back. Her arms were sprawled out in the air as her 'fangs' were bared.

"IZZY! DID I NOT TELL YOU TO ZIP IT?!"

"I know! But I wanna be the wolf! It's gonna be fun to set the house on fire!"

"...IZZY! THE WOLF DOES NOT SET THE HOUSE ON FIRE!"

"It doesn't?" Izzy cocked her head, her wolf headband falling off, "That's the way my mama always told the story!"

"Izzy, just sit back down and DON'T MOVE!''

"Okay, okay!" Izzy-wolf stalked off, lips pursued.

"As I was saying, the three pigs-"

"OINK!"

"ARE YOU F****ING KIDDING ME."

"What?" the crazy girl, which, now had a pink pig onsie on, spread her limbs in all directions as she leaped back on the set, "I'm a pig now!"

"IIIIZZZZYYYY!"

"Fine, fine!" Izzy growled and prowled off, "You're no fun!"

"As I was saying, until I was interrupted twice, Geoff, the oldest pig bro, set off to look for supplies on how to build his house."

Geoff looked around as he walked down the path, "What to build a house out of? I could use trees...that'll take too long!"

The blonde pig bro then stopped in his tracks as a stack of old golden hay was scattered among the grass, along with a few twigs.

"Dude, yes!" He pumped a fist in the air, collecting the supplies, "This'll be easy and quick to build! A hut!"

"And so, the pig bro started to build his small and simple house. No too far away, the second eldest pig bro was starting to build his house as well...but he had found more...stable supplies..."

Duncan bent a piece of metal in half, gripping it with both hands. Next to him, a pile of steel rods were stacked against each other like a large cube, and holding them together was more pieces of iron bars, twisted like a basket.

"Any predators won't dare cross my path once they see this!" he boasted to no one in particular, now taking his pocketknife and shanking it against a piece of wood to make a spike.

"..while he worked on getting his house all scary and threatening, the youngest pig bro mapped out his house and got strong materials to build it.."

"What's brick and cement doing here in the woods?" Harold gave the supplies an incredulous look, before shrugging, indicating he won't question the abnormality and put an index finger to his lips, "Hm...I'd have to plan out the structure and calculate how many bricks we need...plus find the volume and length...I can do this! Duncan and Geoff will eat their words!" he beamed.

"Now...as the pigs built there homes, the big and bad C.I.T wolf was stalking around the part of the forest...scaring animals along her way..."

Courtney's dark cinnamon freckled face was now red with anger. She stomped in the path, "The nerve of these animals! I am not uptight nor do I have anger issues! I'm just so mad I could-" She halted before a tree and clenched her fist, striking it with a punch, and in that instant, it fell down. Courtney let out a sigh of relief and wiggled her claws, "I feel a bit better now..."

She continued up the path before coming to another stop, letting out a gasp, "What is that?!"

Before her stood a pitiful house made of old grass and held together by two thin twigs.

"That is...horrendous!"

"Um...dude, it's actually my house..."

She swiveled around to face a blonde pig dude with a hollowed coconut on his hand with a straw. "You...what is this? This doesn't belong in the forest! Where did you find redwood twigs! I threw those trees out! And that ugly grass color...oh don't get me started on the location!"

"Oh shit!" Geoff gasped and dropped his coconut drink, "You're the wolf!" he dashed into his small hut, "Leave me alone! Don't eat me!"

Courtney pursed her lips and set her claw hands on her hips, tail lashing back and forth, "This house needs to go! Come on out to take it down!"

"No! I'm staying in here! I'm not getting eating by your ugly wolf fangs!"

"Ugly?" The wolf girl snarled, baring said fangs, "You think it's EASY to have these things!? I take one HOUR each DAY to make sure they're white and shiny! YOU are an UNGRATEFUL BRAT!" With every wold, a howl came out, and the power of her cries were enough to blow his house away, leaving Geoff cowering with no protection.

"Once the eldest pig saw he had nothing to hide against the wolf, so he dashed to find the next brother pig's house, the furious C.I.T wolf running behind him."

"GET BACK HERE YOU UNCULTURED SWINE AND APOLOGIZE!"

Geoff then found his way to Duncan's house, a small square, metal bars around it like a cage with wooden spikes at the entrance, needless to say, it looked scary, but it wouldn't stop the fuming wolf not to far behind.

He pounded on his brother's door, "Bro! Let me in! I'm getting chased by the wolf!" Duncan looked through his house and pulled the party pig inside, slamming the door closed.

"Bro, she blew down my house and she's after me-"

"She?" suddenly, Duncan wasn't so concerned and his lips curved into a smile, an eyebrow raised, "It's a chick?"

"I KNOW YOU'RE IN THERE!" Courtney had made it to the house, before cringing at the sight before her, "What is it with you pigs and houses? This looks like a prison? Where did you find metal IN THE FOREST?"

It was a mistake of Duncan to cat-call to her, pressing himself against the metal bars, his ears perked up and his curly tail wagging back and forth, "That is one foxy wolf!"

"WHAT?"

"Duncan, dude! She's already upset!" Geoff crawled to the back of his "house".

"Ah, don't sweat it bro. I heard locking lips can melt stress away, gorgeous." Duncan waggled his eyebrows suggestively.

Courtney's teeth grounded together, her nose screwing up, her claws were being balled into firsts and her tail was fluffing up twice its size.

"Bro..." Geoff warily spoke. Duncan's eyes widened and his pupils shrank as he thought the same thing.

"You INSOLENT LITTLE PERVERT! You get out here RIGHT NOW so I can give YOU a piece of my MIND! You PIGS are SO RUDE!" And once again, her howls being so strong, the second eldest pig's house went flying.

"RUN!"

"The pig bros went to the next safest place: their youngest brother's house. It was a small, but well-built brick house, complete with windows, a roof, a wooden door and a small flower garden."

"Let us in!" both brother pigs pleaded, pounding on the door. Harold opened a window, "Why hello my brothers, what bring you here?"

"There's a wolf chasing us! We've upset her and now she wants to eat us!"

"Oh, so now you want the help of the brother who would surely get eaten by wolves?" Harold clicked his tongue, shaking his head and leaning against the window frame.

The pig brothers looked back to see that Courtney was getting closer, "Please! We'll give you anything, just let us in!"

"Anything...hm?" Harold pretended to ponder before giving it to them straight, "I want an apology."

"A-an apology?"

"Yes! Say that I was right, and I built the best house!" He told them.

"Are you crazy?" Duncan cried. The wolf was getting closer.

"That's the price you pay." The redheaded nerd nodded.

Geoff cracked, "YOU WERE RIGHT! YOU BUILT THE RIGHT HOUSE! WE WERE WRONG!"

Harold shifted his gaze to Duncan, "Aaand?"

"FINE!" Duncan growled, "I'M SORRY, YOU WERE RIGHT! NOW LET US IT BEFORE SHE EAT US!"

Harold opened the door and the two brothers zoomed in and cowered in fear, trembling. Courtney finally made her way before stopping and looking at the house in front of her, "Wow! One of you pigs actually has good taste!" She circled the house, ears pricked up curiously, "Nice red color of the bricks, and the dark dusty blue of the roof is a nice touch. And what a good choice having the window sills painted white. Any other color would have clashed!"

She then shrugged, "Still, it ruins the theme of the forest, so it's got to go." Courtney knocked on the door, calling in a fake sugar-coated voice, "Little pigs, little pigs, let me in~"

"Not by the hair of our chinny chin chins!" Harold said. Courntey winced, "Ew. I did not need to hear that. Go shave. Anyways..." she regained her posture, "Little pigs, I need you to take this down. I'm afraid it does not follow the rules of the forest, so it has to be taken down. You understand, right?"

"Well-" Harold started but was cut off by Geoff.

"No way! Get out of here! You just want to turn us into lunch, you nasty carnivore!"

Courtney made her angry stance once again and howled at the top of her lungs, "I've TRIED to be NICE, but you PIGS will NOT COOPERATE! You ARE IMBECILES! Let me in, I'LL BEAT YOU TO A PULP!"

The pigs sat, frightened by the wolf and waiting for her angry rant to be over.

Courtney was almost out of breath, panting as she yelled out her last words, "You...unclean...messy...pigs...I hate...you..." she then toppled over, her tongue lolling out her mouth, trying to catch her breath.

Harold peeked out the window as Geoff covered his eyes, still scared by the wolf and Duncan, pressing himself against another glassed window, his small curled tail wagging again at the state of Courntey; the perverted pig declared it to be a turn-on.

"I...don't get it..." Courntey wheezed and heaved herself up once more, stretching out an arm and resting it on the doorframe and her other limb on her lap, "Your...house should have...blown away..."

"Think again, wolf!" Harold pointed an accusing finger at her, "I built my house with time and care!"

"But...it doesn't go well with the forest!" Courtney protested, "We need to keep it forest-themed!"

"Well...if I let my gardens grow it can become a forest house I guess.. "

"Forest house..." Courntey furrowed her brows, her "Yes! I can totally see it!"

Without warning, she bounded to the small garden, her liquid gold orbs swimming with curiosity, " If I put the daisies here...some morning glories...ah! Yes! I can see it now!" She turned back slyly, "But, you pigs have to help me! Then I'll leave you alone!"

"A garden will be totally fun! I'm in, dudette!" Geoff cheered.

"It could be a trap!" Harold hissed, ushering him back inside before nochalantly leaning on the window frame again, "How do we know you won't eat us?"

"Because," said the wolf, "I'm a vegetarian." Harold opened his mouth to argue but he C.I.T made a mouth-closing gesture with her palm and gave him a look, "Get out here before I pull on your stupid nose and cook me some bacon. STAT!"

"And with that, the pig bros happily obliged..." Chris closed the book, the scene once again returning to his seat by the fire, "The end."

"That was a great story! But I thought in the original the wolf climbed in the chimney and burned its butt and it ran away, never to be seen again!" Izzy threw her arms in the air.

"Listen, kid." The raven haired male leaned on his book, "It already took a lot of convincing to get Courtney in the story. If I make it so it hurts one little hair on her, I'll get sued. And me no likey." He relaxed back on his chair, pressing the bubble pipe against his mouth once more, "Tune in next time for story time with Uncle Chris."

"Don't forget Izzy!"

"YOU RUINED MY ENDING YOU LITTLE-"

Done! So, how do you guys like it? I've been working on this for a while, so leave your reviews below and let me now if you want me to do a specific fairy tale with specific people!

I'm out, remember to smile!