.
NO, I HAVE NOT WRITTEN HARRY POTTER AND I CLAIM ABSOLUTELY NO RIGHTS!
EVERY CHARACTER IN THIS FANFIC BELONGS MERELY TO JKRowling!
I DO NOT MAKE ANY MONEY OUT OF THIS!
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Envy is an awful trait to have
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Harry grinned at Severus when the man told him he would help with his rooms. It was barely a week since the Dark Lord's fall. The battle at the ministry went just as crazily as every Harry's adventure. No one died, thankfully.
It was this year that Harry finally came to know the Potions Master's true self. The Occulumency lessons changed a lot between them.
Severus couldn't believe it at first but he could spot the signs of abuse anywhere. He could see the inner turmoil Harry went through each time Severus saw one of the awful memories that included his relatives. All in all, the stern Professor was glad the brat turned out the way he did.
With his past, he could have just as easily followed the Dark Lord's path.
Not to mention that year's Prophet's articles didn't help much. To everyone's surprise, the bitch offered a public apology after Voldemort's downfall.
At first, the silent truce between Harry and Severus was weak. They were frowning at each other still but neither lashed out. And then Severus started talking to the brat. It took him five sessions before he managed to coax Harry to open up at least a little bit.
Harry finally began to trust the man, after the winter holidays, when he repelled the man's presence from his mind for the first time. Since the professor finally came around and decided to actually teach him for real, it was easier. Reading a few books about meditation and calming one's self helped a lot too. But Harry knew he wouldn't have learned it if it wasn't for the stern man's guidance.
He owed Severus a lot.
When his head of house sent him away without even letting him have his say he came to Severus. He was taken aback by the man's rage he almost ran out of the office before he realized the anger wasn't aimed at him.
Half an hour later Severus took him to a private healer who took special care in examining his hand. At the end of the week, there was a trial.
Professor Umbridge was on trial.
Charged with torture of underage wizards.
Plural.
The bitch didn't stop with Harry. To the boy's rage, she took out her displeasure on younger years as well. That was the first time Harry ever remembered to have had an adult protecting him so fiercely. Severus Snape, of course, had the best attorney in the country on his payroll. They were acquaintances from the school. Both of them used to be terrorized by the marauders, secretly forming an alliance against them.
They won the trial and professor Snape finally took the post of the defence teacher. He was still cool towards Harry in class he had to keep up the appearances but in private they would go way over the years curriculum.
Soon, Harry found himself down there in the man's quarters more often, than their Occulumency lesson's plan was. And Severus accepted him there, going as far as to key the boy in. They would read, just sitting together in one room was enough.
Sharing a meal was one of the activities Harry too enjoyed. He was almost brought down to tears when he was invited to spend holidays with Severus. The Potions Master only said he was many things but not as cruel as everyone seemed to believe. He wouldn't send Harry back to his relatives and since the boy refused to tell the headmaster, that's how things would be.
Then something happened.
Pettigrew was caught sneaking into the Ministry's Department of Mysteries. Tried under Veritaserum he admitted to committing many crimes. Including the betrayal of James and Lily Potter, framing Sirius Black and helping the resurrected Dark Lord's cause.
This trial was Fudge's downfall.
Amelia Bones called forth the martial law. People were to stay in their houses during the night from the setting of the sun until it's dawn. Auror troops were sent looking for Voldemort and his Death Eaters. They were bringing some in but only the lower ranked ones.
And…
Sirius Black was pardoned of course.
At the same time, professor Bins chose that moment to pass on to the afterlife leaving his post free for other candidates. Since Dumbledore just about managed to persuade Horace Slughorn to come and keep teaching Potions at least until the end of the year he was quite baffled and exhausted. Who would teach history now?
Sirius Black offered.
Harry was quite happy, having his godfather near would finally allow him to get to know the man. That was the end of March. He didn't expect to find himself playing a referee between his mother's and father's best friends.
Sirius picked up on their closeness and called Harry out on it. So, the boy explained. But his godfather would have none of it. He had relatively no time to come to terms with the new life. That he wasn't twenty years old anymore. That the world didn't stop the moment he left it for Azkaban. That Snape didn't see him as a mortal enemy.
In Sirius's mind, they were enemies for life and Snape just must have done something to Harry. There was no way he could have achieved to win over his godson with his 'charming' personality. He just couldn't.
Harry was embarrassed when he came over to Severus's chambers to find those two in a word match. A match the Potions Master was winning. He got but a mere second to unarm his godfather when he reached for his wand. Staring at the two of them he had no idea what to make of it.
In the end, he gave Sirius's wand back to him and politely asked him to leave.
He could see the man was disappointed.
Well, tough luck, he thought.
Harry, on many occasions, reminded Sirius he wasn't his father, the man had yet to understand that. For a few weeks, it was calm. Sirius drew back and tried to 'only' monopolize all of Harry's time but he wasn't having any dumb comments about Severus or their relationship.
It was one of those times that Sirius forced him to spend time with him. Whining and pleading until Harry agreed. He just wasn't expecting to be taken out of the castle. In the evening none the less. Certainly not to the Department of Mysteries.
Sirius wanted to hear the entire prophecy. Harry had no idea what he was talking about. The man explained what the headmaster told him. That there was a prophecy about Harry and Voldemort that says only Harry could beat him.
But he wouldn't give the actual wording.
He arranged a meeting with one of the chicks that worked in the department. They got to the prophecy in no time. Just as they were to listen to it, the Death Eaters broke in. Bellatrix, Malfoy, Crouch and many more Harry didn't even recognise. Some he thought he saw in the graveyard but he couldn't be really sure. He was in pain at that time.
The first thing Harry did was alerting Severus. Once Harry got fairly efficient in the mind art they established a mind link between the two of them. Severus would automatically know when he was in pain and vice versa, Harry just notified him in advance.
They stood back to back.
Harry couldn't believe his godfather was grinning and making snappy comments. They were five-times outnumbered, what was the man thinking?
He wasn't.
Harry smashed the prophecy the moment they were attacked. Better no one knowing than Voldemort knowing and taking precautions. That only made the Death Eaters angsty and angrier. Harry was glad Severus was giving him some private evening tutoring in defence. He was able to manage them but barely. What surprised him – Sirius was out of breath in a matter of minutes. He was brought down with a dark curse mere second before the back-up arrived.
Severus alerted the order.
Sirius was soon provided with the counter course and was back to his feet. He was irritated though, Snape as if glued himself together with Harry, copying every move he made. Thus, the three of them worked together, somehow it even worked out.
Well, it worked for a while anyway. The moment Voldemort showed his face, everything went into disarray. Severus came down trying to protect Harry from the Dark Lord. Sirius was trying to cover him from the back. Harry just made sure Severus was still alive before facing the Dark Lord.
You're not going to take anyone from me.
Ever again.
With that, Harry mustered enough courage to send out the green beam of Avada. It was exhausting and it felt dirty casting that spell. But it was worth it in the end. Dumbledore managed to catch the Dark Lord's attention for just about enough time.
He hesitated and Harry's spell won.
The Dark Lord was dead.
The anti-apparition wards were up.
They caught the rest of the Death Eaters, it was quite easy when they were still spooked, whining and denying their Lord's demise. And Severus…
Severus was free.
Harry brushed the man's 'thank you' away as he threw himself into his arms. He was safe, that was all that mattered. The madman wouldn't torture him anymore and they could actually act how they felt. To show everyone that they could get on quite well.
Britain celebrated.
Hailed Harry's name.
Seamus finally apologised.
Harry was happy and getting excited about the upcoming year. The sixth-year would be far the best, he just knew it. There would be no Voldemort, he would have Severus and Sirius at the school. The two of them were actually quite polite to each other.
True it was too cool polite but still polite.
"Harry? May I talk to you?" Asked Sirius one afternoon. In three days his fifth year would be over. For the first time, he wouldn't be leaving on the train. He wasn't going back to the Dursleys. For the first two weeks, he would stay at the castle, with Severus. They were going to make a set of rooms for him there, the Potions Master insisted.
Harry was not to monopolize anymore of his space. But the Gryffindor understood his banter. He wanted him to feel at home and the rooms were just another logical step.
"Of course, what do you need?" Harry smiled waiting for the answer. But it didn't come, he was just asked to follow Sirius into a more private setting, his chambers. "What is it?" He wasn't quite sure what to expect when he opened the file. He certainly didn't expect that.
"Well? Aren't you happy?" Sirius was excited and hopeful, expecting his godson's reaction but the guilty look wasn't what he was expecting. "What's going on?"
"I-I can't. I'm sorry." Replied Harry, closing the files and giving it back over to Sirius. The man wouldn't take them though, so he put them on the table in front of them.
"I don't understand. I thought you'd be glad." Hissed Sirius, he was still baffled.
Why?
Didn't he want this?
"I-I appreciate it. I really do… but I just don't see you that way." Harry said in the end. A year ago, he would have jumped for the offer. Having anyone was what he wanted and if it made Sirius happy then why not comply? Now, though?
No.
He knew what he wanted. What he needed. And it wasn't Sirius.
"What do you mean? Your parents wanted it this way so what's the problem?" Growled the dog animagus angrily. Why was Harry refusing this? It was just a formality.
He wanted this two years ago.
Sirius really didn't understand him. How could he just ignore what James and Lily wanted?
"You're my funny godfather. I like you like that and I want it to stay that way." Murmured Harry, eyes downcast. He felt terrible but he knew it was better to say it now than give the man hope and then refuse him.
"But why?!" Yelled Sirius.
"Because you're not a father figure to me. I don't want you to be my father I already have someone like that." Harry didn't want to say the last part out loud but it happened. He couldn't take it back. And he wouldn't probably anyway. He was proud to have someone to rely on.
An adult.
A proper adult.
"Snivellus?"
"Do not call him that!"
"You think Snape's your father? He's just using you! Probably fed you potions from the start! He doesn't love you Harry but I do! Open your eyes, he's the man you hated for four years!" Sirius didn't even realize he caught Harry's shoulders and was shaking him uncontrollably.
"Let go of me! He was a spy!" Yelled Harry right back. "And if you ever treat me like this again I might just let him show you how much he cares about me!" With that said, Harry turned around and stormed out of the man's office.
He was not going to talk to him.
Not unless he apologised.
Which, of course, Sirius wouldn't.
Severus quite liked Harry giving Black a cold shoulder though he was fairly concerned for the boy. He was sad. And Severus didn't like him being sad, not now when he wasn't supposed to have a reason to be sad. The madman was gone.
Well, one madman was gone.
Damn the dog.
It wasn't a surprise he accepted the man's proposal of a talk. He didn't want to do it. He was happy to hate Black for all eternity and five days later he was no closer to the actual reason Harry was so sad about that dog.
But he would talk to the canine.
For Harry.
The minute he walked into the dog's chambers he knew something was wrong. His limbs became suddenly heavy and before he managed to draw he was already in ropes. "Now… you're going to answer some of my questions." Said the dog, vicious smirk marred his face.
"Fuck you, Black. Let me out of here and I just might forget to mention this to Harry later." He growled at the man. Then he felt a stabbing pain in his gut.
"It's working already, I see."
Severus's eyes widened.
Poison.
The fucker poisoned him.
No… He wouldn't.
"This is the antidote, recognize it?" He smirked as he showed Severus the bright yellow crystals.
"You didn't." Refused Severus automatically. He surely wasn't so stupid. "This won't win you, Harry, back over, you know." He growled, feeling the blood in his mouth.
He knew what he'd been spelled with.
The moment he walked through the door he had been hit with the modification of a melting hex. It would melt his organs from within. Once the poison's spread through the body, the victim dies within ten minutes, while in agony.
"I know. I just need to show him your true intentions, that should be enough." Smirked the man.
"And how are you planning to do that?" Hissed Severus. In five minutes the poisonous hex would be everywhere.
He would die ten minutes later.
"Veritaserum, of course. Answer some of my questions and I'll let you live. Deal?" Sirius knew he'd won the second he saw Severus frown. The Potions Master was raging inside.
Black was truly insane.
"Alright, give it here." He said, nodding his head towards the vial with the truth potion.
"Brilliant." Sirius administered the potion with a devilish smile on his lips. "Now, control question. How did Voldemort know about the prophecy?" Asked Sirius. He wanted a name. He blamed three… four people for the death of his friends. The man who carried the prophecy, himself, Pettigrew, and Voldemort.
"A Death Eater told him." Stated Severus simply. He knew it wouldn't be enough. He couldn't dodge this particular question.
"Who?"
"Me."
Severus didn't even get to brace himself before he was hit. His head swept to the side with the blow. He was starting to feel the pain of his organs slowly melting.
"How can you live with that?"
"It's hard."
"Clearly."
"Fuck you, Black. You were the one who pushed me to the Dark Side. I wasn't always dependent on others. You were the one to teach me never to be alone." Hissed Snape right back. "I spied on the bastard for years, getting tortured! I've made my peace with what I am." There was blood seeping out of his mouth.
"And what about Harry? Did he make peace with it?" Sirius smiled.
Finally.
He had something.
"You haven't told him yet, have you?"
"Of course, I haven't. It would only serve to hurt him." Replied Severus. He was devastated. He loved the boy as he would his own son and now… he would lose him. After all this work they went through to get to know each other. They even finished the room Harry would occupy while in Severus's quarters.
"What are your plans for Harry anyway?"
Severus bit his tongue, literally. No, he wouldn't tell.
"Why are you fighting this?"
"Because I want to tell him first!" Blurted Severus through the bloodied teeth. "I hate you, Black." He hissed, a frown marring his face. Then he coughed up blood. His stomach was melting, just as his other organs. Soon, he won't be able to breathe.
"What are your plans for Harry?" Pressed the dog, articulating each word clearly.
"I love him like a son. I want to adopt him." Sighed Severus through the pain. His mind was getting dizzy. He knew Harry was coming. Their mind link told him he was in pain.
Harry was close, Severus just had to stay awake.
Sirius stepped away when he realized what the man said. Dread filled him up from head to toes. He turned around, reaching for the vial with the antidote he laid on the table before. His heart sank when he saw it topple and break. He didn't anticipate he was so close to the table so he hit it as he stepped back.
Now… the antidote was useless. It was reacting with the oxygen in the air as the seconds went by, turning blue. There was no time to get more.
"Fuck! Finite." Snapped Sirius frantically but the body of his nemesis only lifelessly crumbled to the ground. He kneeled down and sat him up against the wall.
Severus was just barely conscious. His entire being was in pain, he was suffocating with his own blood. "Snape, tell me you have your own antidote somewhere." Urged Sirius.
Severus only managed to shake his head a bit. "T-tell-im-" He started coughing up.
But it wasn't subsiding.
"What? What do I tell him?!" Sirius was desperate. He shook the weak body but Severus still couldn't catch his breath. He was constantly coughing and vomiting blood until he just stopped.
His body twitched a few times.
Only lifeless eyes stayed to stare at the dog animagus.
"Snape?" He asked. It was just a joke, right? He hadn't planned on killing him! It was an honest mistake! An accident.
His door was blasted off the hinges. Harry stepped through, almost out of breath as he ran all the way from Hogsmeade. His eyes dropped to Sirius, that calmed him down a little, he wasn't injured.
But then they took in the blood and the unmoving body.
The dead body of Severus Snape.
"Sev?" He asked tentatively.
Sending a longing feeling through the link he kneeled down next to the man. This couldn't be happening. Voldemort was dead. Death Eaters too scared or already caught, they wouldn't do anything.
So, who?
Who would?
The green eyes met with grey.
Guilt.
"H-Harry, i-it was an accident I swear." Blurted Sirius out, giggling childishly. It sounded mad. As soon as it was out he knew he screwed up. Harry was looking at him but not seeing him. It was… as if he was dead inside.
And he was.
Harry crouched next to Severus, hugging him. But the man's arms stay at his sides. Why? Harry couldn't understand. He needed a hug. He wanted consolation. Why wouldn't Severus give it?
He always did in the past year. When he had one of his nightmares and talked about them he would often cry.
Severus would hug him and it was all better.
He was crying now.
But Severus wasn't hugging him.
He would never hug him.
Never again.
Never.
Why?
No one answered.
Harry took Severus back to his chambers. Maybe… he would recognize his rooms and come back? It was theirs now. Their chambers as Severus told him. They finished his room only yesterday. It was painted light blue. They worked on it together.
There was a big bed and a small bookcase. All of Harry's things they bought at the start of the holidays only a few days before. Severus complained about Harry's attire and equipment. He proposed a shopping trip.
Just the two of them.
Harry looked into those two eyes straight on.
It felt… as if Severus was really looking at him.
Was he?
Could he see him still?
Severus was seated on the couch. Harry let the bloody clothes disappear. Wiping him away from all the blood should help, he would be back to normal again. He promised they would go out to have a takeaway meal tonight. Harry was excited he never had that before.
But maybe… Severus was tired?
That would be it.
He magicked some pyjamas on him before he levitated him to his bed. He must be really exhausted if he can't walk by himself. Once Severus was safely tucked in Harry ordered him to sleep. But as if in spite he kept his eyes open.
Harry closed them.
There, Severus was sleeping.
Harry sat on the ground and watched him. He is going to ask about calling Severus dad tonight. He was already allowed to call him 'Sev' and they did all those things that father and son would do. Severus was going to allow it he hoped.
He reached out for the man's palm and brought it to his hair. Severus would always tousle his hair before they went to sleep.
The hand didn't move.
When Harry let go it fell back to the bed.
Of course, Severus was sleeping. He would tousle Harry's hair when he woke up.
But he wasn't waking up. They missed their lunch and the takeaway dinner Severus planned. They even missed breakfast. When they missed the third lunch in a row, Dumbledore came from the fireplace.
"Harry? Sirius told me what he's done." Said the headmaster, tears in his eyes. "I know it's hard but Severus deserves to have a proper burial, we have to-"
"Shhh." Let Harry out sharply. "He's asleep." He said.
Dumbledore just stood petrified as he looked into those green depths. He let the tears fall.
He watched Harry and Severus growing closer this past year. How can the fate be so cruel, bringing them together only to snatch Severus away? Sirius was headed for the ministry, Remus and Nymphadora came to pick him up. He was going to confess to the crime.
For his stupidity, Black ripped Harry not just of Severus but of himself too.
Dumbledore saw the same dull eyes Harry sported already.
In the St. Mungo's ward for unstable.
"Harry, we have to take his body… we have to take Severus to Poppy." Stated Albus as he stepped closer to the boy he considered a grandson. He too was grieving Severus. Over the years he had been the only person Severus ever confided in. Many of the headmaster's secrets were also privy only to Severus. He was the best friend if Albus ever had one.
"Of course." Stated Harry.
Albus managed a sad smile when he saw those green eyes brighten a bit. Perhaps he had misjudged the situation. Maybe Harry only wanted some alone time.
To say his goodbyes privately.
"He's sick, isn't he? How did I not think of that?"
Before Albus realized what had been said Harry and Severus were gone. His heart sank once more. The power Harry wielded was dangerous. He seemed to be twice as stronger than before. And his mind was playing tricks on him.
At that second Albus hoped he would not have to face another Dark Lord so soon.
Harry tricked the castle's wards into letting him through as he apparated Severus and himself into the hospital wing. Of course, Severus was sick!
He was such an idiot.
It was weird that the man hadn't woken up for three days and now he knew why.
"Is he going to get better?" Asked Harry when the matron rushed to his side. Her face was betraying every single emotional turmoil she felt. "Is he?"
"Mr. Potter. What are you asking?" Demanded the crying witch. Was he playing some game? She thought they were moving together and now he was making her feel worse about her friend's death?
Why? It couldn't hurt Severus anymore so, why step upon his memory?
Was he that cruel?
Why?
"Severus is sick. You'll make him better, right? When will he wake up?" Asked the child, eyes brightening some more.
And suddenly… Poppy understood. Dark Circles under his eyes meant Harry surely didn't sleep in over three days. Ever since… Severus died. He had been with the man's body this entire time, wishing him to wake up. He actually started to believe Severus would be okay.
"Mr. Potter… Harry, Severus is not going to wake up." She said tentatively.
"Why not? He promised we'd go and grab a meal. He never lies." Stated Harry.
Severus would never lie to him.
He was going to wake up and then they'd have their takeaway.
The boy was clearly distraught and partially swallowed by madness. "You know the properties of this hex, Severus taught you all this year, right? Melting hex modified to target the inner organs?" Poppy questioned carefully. She didn't want to make him panic and hurt himself.
Or her.
"Yeah. But what does it have to do with Severus? He and Sirius bickered, true but nothing happened." Harry was seriously confused. Here he was, concerned for Severus and she… instead of checking him over just stood there and asked about the meaningless fight his godfather and da-Severus had.
Was it meaningless?
Harry shook his head when the image of a bloodied Severus came to the forefront of his mind. No… there was no blood.
He came to their quarters to find Severus was asleep and left him at that thinking his da-Severus was just tired.
Did it happen like that? How did he know about that fight? Severus didn't wake up to tell him and he hadn't talked to Sirius.
Dull dark brown eyes without life staring right at him.
Harry shook his head again.
Him closing those eyes, making Severus seem as if he was sleeping.
"No." Whispered Harry as he turned away from the body of his mentor. Escape that heaviness weighing on his heart. "No." He repeated shaking his head again.
The memories of the evening three days prior came flooding back to him. "NO!" He screamed. Hands came to clasp his head. It wasn't true.
He was pulling his hair out.
It couldn't be true.
He was scratching across his face, drawing blood.
Blood.
NO!
Harry quickly turned back to Severus, willing him to wake up. But he wouldn't. He wasn't going to.
He would never wake up and spend time with Harry. They were never having a meal together again. Severus would never come to tuck him in.
No.
Not anymore.
Never again.
"Harry? Wouldn't you like to lie down for a little bit?" Asked Poppy once again, very carefully, not wanting to make Harry feel threatened. The emotional outburst she's just seen told her Harry remembered what actually happened.
"No. I need to stay here with him." He said as he flopped down on a chair next to his mentor's body. He wasn't there anymore. Severus wasn't there in the body. He was gone. Just as James and Lily were. He was murdered also.
And once again it was all Harry's fault.
Wake up.
Harry thought one more time.
Wake up.
Again.
Wake up.
Like a mantra, he repeated those words… knowing they would never come true. Magic wasn't almighty. Severus was dead. Killed by Sirius Black. Harry's own godfather killed the man whom he'd wish to become his dad.
Out of pettiness.
Out of petty jealousy.
He didn't know how long he'd been sitting there. At some point, he allowed the matron and some Aurors to inspect the body but he wasn't going to leave the man's side. Even if he was only a body now it was still his body. Harry wouldn't allow them to hurt Severus anymore.
Never again.
That evening Poppy prepared a ceremonial burning. Wizard's and witch's bodies were never buried since someone just might be crazy enough to dig them up and use them in the Dark arts.
Harry cried from the moment they laid Severus down in the wooden circle.
He was going to be buried on the grounds.
Harry thought about adding the man's ashes to Lily and James's but then decided against it. Severus loved Lily but he hated James.
And he said he always wanted to stay at Hogwarts. He never talked about his family except to complain about his drunk of a father so the family tomb was also out.
Severus' remains would stay at the grounds and that was final.
Dumbledore agreed.
He stopped crying only when he fell asleep from exhaustion after keeping himself awake three days long. He was grieving and in his sorrow, he slept in Severus' bedroom. Remus tried to visit and talk to him the next day but he wouldn't have any of it.
The werewolf didn't care about him for two years, only ever keeping touch with Sirius. Now that his friend was going to be charged and put in jail for real he wanted a substitute. Harry wasn't that desperate.
No, he skipped that part and turned to rage.
It wasn't long before he tore through the wards in the ministry. A week maybe. Sirius was still awaiting his trial but Harry wouldn't let him live long enough to go through it. He swept the man and brought him back to the castle. This time he warded the chambers himself.
He took a gulp from the fire whiskey Severus kept hiding for a special occasion. He was never going to taste the liqueur he saved for some majestic event. And it was Sirius' fault.
He didn't even need a wand anymore.
His rage kept his magic deadly calm and steady. And powerful. Without saying the incantation, he had his godfather bound and propelled against the wall. "H-Harry? I-I'm s-" He didn't even get the chance to finish as he was hit with a bone-crushing curse. He screamed when his leg shot off to the side bending at an unnatural angle.
"Don't even try." Snarled Harry. He was taking turns. Drinking and cursing Sirius. Every dark spell he ever heard he used on the man he once… still… loved.
He still cared about Sirius and that hurt all the more. Clutching the papers to his chest he passed out mid-curse.
He found them about three days after Severus' burial ceremony. Funny, he was going to ask the man if he could call him dad. Meanwhile… Severus went and got him an option to truly become his son. The adoption papers were right there.
Already filled out and signed by the Dursleys as well. All that was left were Harry's signatures. He filled them out in a heartbeat feeling a speck of happiness. Severus wanted him as a son!
Then he realized… Severus never knew he wanted it too.
The papers were dated months back, he had to have been hesitating.
Harry cried and cried, cursing the injustice of it all.
He wouldn't let the paperwork out of his hands after that.
When he woke up after the night of torturing Sirius his blood ran cold.
He was just like him. Taking matters into his own hands, raging and torturing the person responsible for his hurting.
Sirius was unconscious but fortunately still alive. Harry could feel the headmaster was trying to break through the wards. He had only half an hour if the man kept his pace.
As he looked at the battered man another wave of fury washed over him. He raised his hand, ready to cast the killing curse, he was halfway there.
Just say the words.
Just say them.
Sirius' head lolled backwards.
His disarrayed hair uncovered his bloodied face.
What had he done?
His body slumped to the floor, Harry' legs gave out in fright.
The heaviness settled upon his chest he could barely breathe. He was just like Voldemort. But a step away, to just kill, and he would be there. He'd find something to kill for he was sure of it. Abuse, rape, crime… he'd kill them all if he stepped over to that side.
He didn't want to do that.
It felt as if he's taken a breath for the first time in days. He managed to stand and immediately aimed his steps towards his… what was supposed to be his bedroom.
In a small wooden box, there was a vial with bright liquid. Harry was planning to give it to Severus if he ever allowed him to call him dad. He clutched the adoption paper to his chest and looked at the vial.
Part of him still raged and wanted to return and kill Sirius. Perhaps torture him some more.
But he wouldn't.
He won't become another Dark Lord.
He refused.
He drank the vial.
There was not much time but he still managed to find his way to Severus' study. It was the place that held most of the memories he had of his… dad.
Yes.
Severus was his dad.
…
Albus finally managed to break through Harry's wards. He was dreading of what he might find. Another insane Dark Lord? A distraught teenager who killed his godfather? A lifeless body without a speck of soul in it?
The second he got a word about Sirius being busted out of the Ministry he had a nagging suspicion. He was summoned to check and indeed, it had been Harry's magic that was present there.
Then he felt those wards around Severus' chambers.
And he felt Dark Magic.
Trying to break Harry's wards was like trying to bring down a wall with bare hands. Almost impossible. It took him hours before he managed to do so. A team of Aurors was there with him, ready to restrain Harry should the need arise.
But it didn't.
At first, he thought the child had fled. He spotted Sirius. He had seen better days but he was alive, thankfully. The same thing couldn't be said about the young Gryffindor.
The basilisk poison worked its magic.
Harry was dead.
He died sitting in Severus' chair clutching the adoption papers close.
They were filled out properly.
But the binding magic in the contract was no longer active since both sides were now dead.
It is finally finished, thought Albus as he brushed aside a strand of raven hair from the dead child's face and closed his eyes. On the desk in front of him, there was a note.
I would have killed him and become a monster. So, I killed myself instead. No one gets hurt this way.
It took them two months before they put Sirius together in a hospital. He was sentenced to five years in prison. Due to the mishap of his undue 12-year long sentence, he was released two years later… on probation.
He headed to Hogwarts almost immediately.
There at the edge of the water, two gravestones stood.
One belonged to Severus.
The other to his son.
Albus thought it best this way.
Harry never truly got to know his parents but he became very close to Severus in the year before his death. Albus believed he would have wanted to rest in peace right next to the man he chose to call a dad.
Sirius kneeled down in front of the stones.
Harry Potter Snape.
That was the name on the stone.
"I apologise for my jealousy." Whispered the broken dog animagus.
No one heard him.
No one forgave him.
No one answered his desperate call.
And it was all his fault.
Two dead people.
Just for a petty jealousy of an idiot.
.
The END
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