To: Brooklyn 99 - all
From: unknown
Subject: Update on the precinct.
CLICK on the following link to view more details about the precinct.
Enjoy!
Hey there, Brooklyners of the 99.
Gossip Girl here. It's summer in the Big Apple and life is certainly heating up for the people here at the 99. I spotted a picture of our sweet Mrs. Santiago from her time at the police academy. She really looked lovely with her crown, making her he queen of the wet t-shirt contest in 2007. Who knew that girl could wear something different than pantsuits after all?
But let's focus on the here and now. Did you know that Master Terry doesn't even like his precious yoghurt that much? He seems to have a serious distaste to yoghurt with banana flavor in particular because the security footage recorded him throwing away the whole container after trying a little of it. And it was certainly not expired! What is it with him and that yoghurt? Let's hope that we find out!
Let's stay focused on the food. Yes, we all know that this will be an easy task for Boyle. Ah, Charles and his intense love of food. But is he not forgetting something when he analyses all the dishes of New York's finest restaurants? For example that he is not capable of the simple task of frying an egg without burning it? Or the fact that his "supposedly" best friend Detective Peralta can bake without burning the whole thing? Yes, these are not some kind of fake news. I know for a fact that Jacob Peralta created a pie from scratch on his own. Incredible, right?
After I discovered those news, there is nothing that can surprise me EVER again.
Except, maybe the fact, that Gina is not the best dancer on her dancing team. She is flexible and has a sense of rhythm but that's about all. She can't coordinate her feet. During the last competition she even stepped on a candle that light her shoe. All I can say to that is: DOUBLE BURN.
Talking about dancing, can you picture Rosa Diaz dancing on a meadow? Her hair flying around her and the birds chirping happily? No one getting shot, beat up or threatened? I most certainly can't but according to herself apparently can she! You go, girl!
Someone in this precinct, who is not as familiar with the correct use of computers and the internet, accidentally printed out everyone's browser history!
Have fun matching the searches to your favorite detectives!
Where to get a fluffy unicorn
When is the best time to fart?
Excuse me, what is google?
Best recipes for weight loss
Cute puppies for sale
lsakdjfasdfj novwrjwofcmalsdflsak
cool catch phrases
tickets for swan lake
is it illegal to download a virus on a work computer?
Also: Rumor has it that a detective has been smoking cigarettes just outside the precinct? The microwave was ruined by nacho cheese. And, last but not least, pencils keep disappearing.
That's all I've got for you this week, you sycophants. Stay up to date with this blog and remember – none of your secrets are safe!
XOXO,
Gossip Girl