"A break up?"
"Yes."
"You want me to help you stage a public breakup?"
"Yes."
"You want me to help you stage a public breakup even though we aren't even dating?"
Chat crossed his arms, frowning. "I feel like you're trying to get at something."
"Chat this is ridiculous!" Marinette said, falling back onto her patio chaise. "They're just tabloids. No one actually believes them."
"Paris believes them!" He shouted, lowering his voice only after Marinette gestured towards her room and her parents below. "Everyone thinks we're dating. My Lady thinks we're dating."
She rolled her eyes. "I'm pretty sure she doesn't."
"You don't know that!" Chat whined, tugging frantically at his ears. "What is she going to think– I just told her I liked her three days ago and now there are pictures of us on the same roof with the same candles with the same flowers – ohmygod."
He fell to a crouch, barely suppressing a high-pitch scream.
Marinette shot a panicked look towards her flower pots where she knew Tikki was hiding. The little goddess met her gaze with equal concern but could only shrug.
Were people supposed to sound like tea kettles?
"Chat?" She asked, leaning forward to poke at the panicking superhero in front of her. "Chat. Chat Noir!"
Green eyes, bright and inhuman, peeked out at her through black claws.
Slowly, she reached out and pat his head.
"Breathe."
He blinked up at her, frozen and confused, as she continued the awkward affection.
Pat. Pat. Pat.
Pat. Pat. Pat.
Pat. Pat. Pa–
"Breathe." She said, less a soothing whisper and more a hiss.
His eyes widened under her glare and he took in a frantic breath that sent him into a coughing fit.
Which, really, was the opposite of what she wanted.
Fortunately Chat managed to get himself under control without any interference on her part. He waved away her offered glass of water and collapsed, a pitiful pile of kitty on her roof.
"I just got her to take me seriously," He mumbled into the concrete. "I can't – I don't want to fuck this up."
Marinette's heart tugged traitorously as she watched her partner, ears flat, tail limp, face full of floor and dirt, whisper his heart into an indifferent roof.
Dammit.
There wasn't much she wouldn't do to get rid of the despair she heard in her partner's voice.
Marinette groaned. "Fine."
Chat's ears perked up and he lifted his head. "What did you say?"
"I said I'll do it," She ran her hands over her face, already regretting her decision. "But you're the one who has to organize this thing. I'm just showing up, got it?"
"Got it!" He said, all grins and sparkling eyes as he surged to his feet. "The princess will not have to lift a finger!"
She sighed. "See that I don't."
However Chat's enthusiasm could not be contained and Marinette yelped as she found herself encased in 6 foot blonde of muscle and leather.
"Thank you, Marinette," He whispered into her hairline, hugging her tightly. "This means the world to me."
"Y-you're welcome," She breathed.
However before she could recover from the sudden onslaught or even return the favor he had already pulled away, manic smile gleaming in the moonlight.
"I should probably get going now," He said, reaching for his baton. "We've got a big day tomorrow and there's still some arrangements to be made."
Marinette shook her head, bemused, as her partner vaulted off into the night, his triumphant whoops echoing behind him.
"What just happened?"
Tikki flew out from her hiding place to rest on her shoulder. "You made him happy."
"Yeah," She said, eyes on the place he'd disappeared from view. "Look at that."
Her kwami giggled and Marinette looked over to see Tikki wiggling in excitement.
"What?" She asked, fighting a smile of her own.
Tikki shrugged.
"Oh nothing just…" Her eyes glinted mischievously. "I hope Chat Noir doesn't find out about you any time soon. Imagine what he'll do if he ever figures out he called a press conference just to break up with Ladybug!"