summary:
Leia doesn't know Luke well, but he is easy to talk to and feels familiar. And she wonders if he feels the same way. Leia Whitesun and Luke Starkiller.
1/?
The sun was barely visible behind the Coruscant skyline, but the thin dawn light had already spread across the sky. Leia pressed her forehead against the mirror in the fresher, exhaustion visible in the bruises beneath her eyes. Stiffly, she braided her hair, nothing elaborate today, just a simple plait. Her fingers were dull and tingling, she must've slept on them funny last night. Deciding her tiny padawan braid was too complicated for this early in the morning, she left a bit of hair behind her ear.
Of course, Master Unduli left her room in a practiced calm, with the energy all Jedi seemed to have so early in the morning. Sitting on one of the meditation mats, her master raised a brow when she saw Leia's unkempt state.
She waved her hand and Leia sat at her feet. "You stay up too late," Luminara deftly finished off her padawan's braid by tying a red string around the end.
"Sorry Master," Leia yawned.
"You have been dreaming again," her master prompted gently.
Leia did not reply and remained very still. —The cell was dark and cold and she feels sick, but she doesn't dare feel scared. Billions of people scream inside her head and then silence and she's being torn into as many pieces. 'I'm here to rescue you!' a boy grabs her hand, and it's Luke Starkiller, but not Starkiller, and she's Leia, but not Leia —
Her face was hard when she replied, "My dreams haven't troubled me in some time, Master."
Luminara chuckled softly and smoothed the tunic across her shoulders, "Go to breakfast then, Leia."
But her master is not convinced.
.
Sweat dripped down her brow and her breath was heavy. She parries before quickly lunging forward while her opponent regained his footing. The blood rushes in her ears as she halts before piercing his chest, in a swift motion she could cut him in half. But the exercise is over and she retracts her blade into its hilt.
She and her partner both straighten and bow to each other. They are panting and drenched and both of them are grinning like idiots.
"You got lucky," Luke tells her. But his eyes are glowing and his smile is bright and dazzling.
She laughs. She does not know Luke well, but he is easy to talk to and she feels drawn to him, familiar with him. And she wonders if he feels the same way… She shakes her head, a Jedi does not seek attachment.
"Very good Leia," Master Kenobi said, "I must commend Master Unduli on your technique, however your grip is too tight. Loosening it will allow for greater flexibility."
Leia nodded. Feeling defensive about Luminara's training, she bit back a cool response. Luke caught her eye and shrugged.
"You're both truly exceptional. I was a bit of a prodigy myself back in the day, wasn't I Master?" the voice startled Leia.
A Jedi walked up to Kenobi, however his attention was only for the two of them. Leia straightened when she recognized Master Skywalker. All the padawans think highly of Master Skywalker. He's the Chosen One, the Hero With No Fear, the man who slew Palpatine and saved the Order. Leia finds it very hard to picture Master Skywalker slaying anybody, his face is far too kind, but then there is something, deep in his eyes that scares her just a bit and she doesn't doubt that he could do horrible things. He blinks, maybe she imagined it.
"Thank you Anakin," Kenobi gave him a pointed glance and rested a hand on his former apprentices shoulder, "Could you please join me in the hall?"
Skywalker smiled down at them again. Leia felt a pull in her stomach and wanted to reach out to him.
.
"This is ridiculous," a senator says and everyone in the Chancellors office snaps their heads to her, "I do not need extra security for simple negotiations."
Chancellor Organa looks tired and he gives the senator a weak smile, "This has not been the first time you have been conspired against, Amidala, but your safety is a priority and if your security team feels that you are in danger, we must take all the steps necessary to protect you."
The senator crosses her arms and looks challengingly at the Jedi in the office.
"Senator Amidala," Captain Typho has a practiced tone in his voice, he has dealt with this often, "The Outer Rim has made it well known that you are barely welcome, extra security will be needed. The Jedi are willing to send a protector to work with us."
A smile tugs at Amidala's lips, as though she is sharing a private joke. The senator finally nods, "Who has been put forward at my protector?"
Leia takes a deep breath and steps out from behind Master Luminara and Master Windu. Senator Amidala's eyes widen and a funny expression crosses her face, her emotions become hard to sense.
Leia walks over to her and bows, "I am at your service, Milady."
.
Her hair curls around her ears, her braids freshly chopped off and lying in a thick rope by her knees.
"Rise, Knight Whitesun," Master Yoda commands.
Leia can see the pride in Luminara's eyes from the glow of the ring of lightsabers. She is a touch surprised when she turns to exit the room behind
Yoda and sees Master Skywalker's eyes shining as well.
.
Three months later, she holds his flesh hand during a relief mission gone horribly horribly wrong.
He looks up at her, his eyes blue are shining and his metallic hand reaches up to cup her cheek, before dropping back down to his blood soaked chest.
"Tell your brother," he wheezes, and she can barely hear his last words, "—Love you."
And then the light in his eyes fades away and she feels distraught and confused and she turns to Artoo, "Patch a message through to Coruscant, Master Skywalker is dead, we need backup!"
There is no death, there is only the Force, but she looks into Master Skywalker's dull blue eyes and sobs.
.
There are deep lines around her eyes now, creases by her mouth, and her hair is mostly grey. She's old now, revered within the Order.
"Do you remember your mother?" Luke asks her, sitting in his Council seat, his fingers steepled beneath his chin.
The Council's chamber is empty except for them and she's standing by the viewport looking out over the Coruscant skyline and the sun dipping beneath the towers. Leia turns to look at him.
"I think I did when I was younger, but no, not now."
Luke doesn't answer for a long time.
"They ruined us, you know," he finally says, "The Order, it ruined all of us."
Leia is startled by his forwardness and wants to snap at him, but she remembers being eleven and the years of nightmares after she had returned to Coruscant with another's blood in her hair and on her robes. She remembers being twenty and the mothers sobbing when the Jedi came for their children.
"Then why are we still here?"
He shrugs.
"Do you ever wonder what it would be like without the Order?"
"No," says Leia, because in the end, there's never been anything but the Jedi, they're all she has.
published 8/27/14. Edited 11/16/14.