Twilight Songfic—She Will Be Loved

JACOB'S POV

Beauty queen of only eighteen

She had some trouble with herself

He was always there to help her

She always belonged to someone else

I couldn't help slipping my hand into hers as we walked down along the shoreline of the beach. Cringing, I felt her hesitation…and then she squeezed my palm, which made me grin. Her pale hand was tiny, the skin soft but cold. It disappeared into mine. I don't remember what we were talking about, but I could see the pain in her eyes, the stress etched into her frown line. I interrupted her. "I know what he did to you." She wrenched her hand out of mine and tightened it across her stomach. I gently pulled it away and cradled it in my arms. "But Bella, I want you to know that I will never hurt you." Tears filled her eyes as she looked away. The immense amount of pain that she was in tightened my chest and tugged behind my eyes. Because, in that instant, I knew. I knew that whatever I did would never be enough. She already belonged to him.

I drove for miles and miles

And wound up at your door

I've had you so many times but somehow

I want more

The amount of hatred that I held for myself was disgusting. So, now, in addition to hating myself, I was disgusted by it too. I glanced at the alarm clock. The glowing numbers read, "2:36 a.m." With a sigh, I rolled out of bed and landed with a thud. Silently, I pulled on a t-shirt and slipped out the front door. The roar of the motorcycle ruined any plans I had of making a quiet escape. As it wheezed to life, I heard my Dad's voice call out sleepily. "Just be careful, Jake."

Originally, I had honestly planned to just ride around for a while. Burn off some adrenaline so that I would be able to sleep. But, I guess that the bike knows better than I do. Before I knew it, I was coasting through Bella's neighborhood. Leaning the motorcycle against a tree, I gazed up at what I knew to be Bella's room. Thoughtfully, I picked up a rock and rolled it around in my hand. I sighed, and dropped the rock to the ground. In no time at all, I had scaled the tree conveniently planted right outside of her window. I knocked on her window. No one came. I peeled the screen off and pulled myself inside.

She was perched on top of the bed, looking at me curiously with those big, chocolate brown eyes of hers. "Jake?" she asked in a whisper. "Yeah, Bells. It's me. Who else would you be expecting in the middle of the night?" She flinched, and I shook my head to erase the thoughts rapidly approaching. "I just wanted to see you, Bella." She laughed, and laid her head on my shoulder. Of course, not in a romantic way. Just in a friendly, tired way. "I just spent the day with you. And I'll see you tomorrow too, first thing," she said, looking up at me. I grinned, embarrassed. "I know. I couldn't wait. Go to sleep, Bella, honey. You look exhausted." She watched as I noisily climbed back out of the window.

I don't mind spending every day

Out on your corner in the pouring rain

Look for the girl with the broken smile

Ask her if she wants to stay awhile

'Cause she will be loved

She will be loved

It was tearing me apart. I couldn't stand growing closer to her and falling in love every day, while she didn't return any of it. But it was even harder trying to stay away. Then, slowly, I started to see her begin to change. She didn't hesitate at all when I would squeeze her hand, if I casually draped my arm around her, she would immediately lean her head on my shoulder. Finally, I realized—she was falling in love with me.

Obviously, she denied it, but I didn't even flinch. I knew it now, and I didn't mind being patient. I decided to be her sun. I would always be there for her…unlike him.

Tap on my window, knock on my door.

I want to make you feel beautiful.

She was sitting in the Rabbit, gazing at the motorcycles, but I could tell that her mind was somewhere else. I put down the wrench, and looked at her. It was her eyes. There were deep purple moons underneath, and hurt etched into every crease in her face. I instantly went back to the very first time she had come over…

It had been a Saturday morning. Barely awake, I had just wolfed down a bowl of cereal and had plans to spend the day working on my car. The roar of her truck interrupted the usual quiet of La Push, and I reluctantly stood up to go see what was going on. She stepped out of the car slowly, carefully. It reminded me of my dad, how quiet and painfully slowly he moved right after my mom died. Bella turned towards the house, and I couldn't help but gasp. The beautiful face that I had loved, and often dreamed about, had been completely transformed. The pain that she carried hurt to look at. Her face was carefully empty. You could tell that she was working very hard to keep no emotion from flickering across. But the worst part was her eyes. Those beautiful chocolate brown eyes were unrecognizable. They looked eaten away, dissolved, and emphasized by deep purple circles. The humor and love that had once filled them was gone, and they were empty. Everything about her was wrong. When she would blink, she would keep her eyes closed for a few seconds too long. Every movement that she made was as if she were moving through water. "Jacob?" she called.

I forced myself to exude happiness. Right then, I decided to make it my personal mission to make Bella beautiful again.

I know I tend to get so insecure,

It doesn't matter anymore

It's not always rainbows and butterflies,

Its compromise that moves us along

It had been the best few months of my life. We had fallen into a comfortable friendship, and I was proud to see some resemblance of happiness return to her eyes. But then, one day, I let my guard down.

By spending so much together, we began to become extremely receptive of each other. I only had to glance at her to know how she was feeling, and how I should react to make it better. I hadn't realized that as I learned the clues that make Bella, Bella, she was learning the clues to me.

Quil, Embry and I had been friends forever. They honestly were more like brothers, I was closer to them than I was to my blood sisters. Whenever they were suffering, it hurt me too. I was so deep in thought about how to help them, that when Bella asked me what was wrong, it all just spilled out. Afterwards, I felt terrible, although it was so typical of Bella. While I was attempting to help her, she turns around and helps me. Though I later found out that it was a vow I couldn't keep, I swore to put my problems away when I was with her, and focus solely on making her better.

I know where you hide, alone in your car

I know all of the things that make you who you are

I know that goodbye means nothing at all

Comes back and begs me to catch her every time she falls

She had left the beach in tears. I honestly don't even know what we were fighting about, but I knew that whatever pain she was feeling was a fraction of what I felt watching you go. Bella just made me so angry sometimes. I couldn't understand why the hell she still loved and cared about him after what he had done to her. I never stayed angry with her for long, though. About a minute and a half after she had left, I followed. I knew that she wanted to be alone, so I didn't interfere like I usually did. I just stood, watching over her, as she sat, huddled over in her truck on the side of the road. She was doing that thing with her arms again, where she tries to hold the pieces of her together. Finally, she drove away. But I knew that she would be back tomorrow. Reluctantly, I also had to admit it. I was starting to need her as much as she needed me.