Merry christmas, Pheboeio! (Yes, I know how to correctly spell your name. I'm just calling you by your pet name.) I hope you enjoy this little fanfic. You said your favorite pairing was Ichimaru and Matsumoto, didn't you?

The song featured in this piece is BALLAD by Ayumi Hamasaki. I sent you the link, I suggest you check it out. Her songs influence me the most, I love the power and raw emotion (the lyrics were written by herself), especially the ballads. Her writing makes me sappy, so I'm sorry if this is to sappy or sad for you.

(Remember, feedback is food.)

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All of a sudden, a pepper was put in front of her mouth.

"Eat."

She looked up and saw a silver haired boy, hoovering over her, smiling widely.

"The fact that you passed out from hunger means you have it, too, right? Power?" he asked, his voice like ice.

She remained silent.

"What's your name?"

"Gin."

She mustered the power to reply and said; "Gin. . .what a weird name. . ."

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I woke up in the middle of a dream

My eyelashes wet

The words I remembered were

'I beg you, please don't go'

She gripped the mantel of her sword, waiting for a signal to attack. She looked over at Gin, and then to her fellow Shinigami. She remembered what her the teacher, that she and him would always annoy to no end, said during their academy days. 'This was the life of a Shinigami, and a Shinigami has a duty, which was to not be interfered with by emotion.'

This is what this whole ordeal is about, she thought. She looked over at Byakuya, who was not kind enough to spare his beloved's sister because it was against the law. That Old-man Yamamoto was too uptight to pardon Rukia, and now the captains have been pitted against each other. All because of the stupid law, she thought.

This feeling for you

Will never change

My respect and adoration

Will never go away

"Don't move," she snapped, grabbing her so-called 'friend's' arm. Her eyes burned with fire as she glared at him. How could he have done this to her? He was an idiot, he was betraying Soul Society, he was betraying her. . .was he not aware of that?

And now she had to decide, follow the law or her friend?

She glared at him, thinking 'how could you do this?'. He just smiled, like always. That was one of those times she wished she could wipe that smile off his face.

The red sky at the sunset today,

was tender like you

I shouted that it wasn't a dream this time

"I beg you, please don't go"

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The memories don't disappear,

but neither they increase

The words I want to say are

"I beg you, please don't go"

"You have pretty eyes," he said to her one day.

She thought it was an abrupt thing to say, but she couldn't help but be flattered. Especially since it was him, who said it.

"You have no eyes. Let me see your eyes, Gin-kun," she asked, on the third month anniversary of their meeting. She always found it weird. 'How could he see like that?' 'Were his eyes stuck together?', she constantly wondered.

"No, no, Ran-chan," he said, shaking his finger.

"Doushite?" she whined as he laughed.

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I can no longer hold on

Just by pretending to be strong

My love can't be removed

Just by being held down

"Doushite, Gin?" she asked herself.

Outside snow fell from the Seireitei's sky gently, caressing the ground. No one was outside, because of the harsh weather.

"Matsumoto, why are you still here?" her taichou's voice startled her, shaking her from her trance.

"Ah, Taichou, I'm sorry. I guess I lost track of time," she said, turning her head from him, hoping he wouldn't see her tears.

"Not when you're off duty do you. Are yok okay, Matsumoto?"

"I'm fine, taichou! It's so cute that you worry about me!" she said, with her eyes closed.

She walked over to the coat-hanger and grabbed her pink scarf, wrapping it around her neck hastily.

"I'll get going now. Goodnight, Taichou!" she said and waved goodbye.

She walked further and further away, her foot crunching in the wet, fresh snow. She always felt that snow was peaceful, a sign of happiness. But it just depressed her now, since winter was the hardest time to be alone.

She wondered why he had to leave with Aizen. Wasn't she his friend? Didn't he realize she loved him more than anything? If he loved her the same amount, then he would've stayed. Didn't he realize how much she missed him? She would wake up at night, feeling his presence--but he wasn't there.

Finally, she gave away and tears flooded her eyes, and she let out a sob. She had tried her best to be strong, but during days like these, she was thinking it wasn't as easy to fake a smile like he could.

The moonlight tonight

is the guide you gave to me

But your back is too far and I can't see it

"Oyasumi, Ran-chan," Gin said from behind the building.