Don't own Harry Potter, never have never will. Unless one day I become a multi millionaire and buy out J.K Rowling. Oh the bolded parts are when Elite is thinking.

Chapter 1 Flunking English

"Pay attention. Honestly Elite Collins I don't know why I bother. While you were away yesterday everyone else was picking topics for their book reports. And unfortunately you have to have the last one on the list."

I don't believe her. Where dose Ms Lyn get off yelling at me.

Oh great just great, she's slammed the frigging list on my desk and yelling at me for being sick. Apparently I'm a lout. Jeese think you could have yelled louder, there might've been someone in Western Australia who didn't hear ya.

Absolutely brilliant just brilliant. While everyone one else got easy stuff, you know Romeo and Juliet, Lord of the Flies I got stuck with Harry Pot-head. I know what you're thinking, big deal every kid on the planet has read Harry Potter. Well not me, I was never one to catch the Potter Craze. No, while everyone one else was reading I was playing my guitar. Now I regret it, I'll have to read 6 books in one week and write a 20 page essay just to get out of summer school. But that would be why I'm flunking English.

About my name. Yeh I know it sucks, but I wasn't always called that.

You see I was originally named Charlie (chosen by dad cause mum chose my big brothers name.) and my dads surname was Dusking. So for about the first two years of my life I was named Charlie Dusking (silent g pronounced dusk -in), even at two I new the name was cool. But when my mum and dad split up mum couldn't stand that dad had chosen my name or I had his surname, so one day she comes home from legally getting mine and my brothers names changed and goes guess what your now Elite Collins . And my brother (Johnny) became Johnny Collins much plainer and much my boring. So by the time I went to school I had the name for three years so that's what I went by. But I always wanted someone to go up to me and say.

"You don't look like and Elite you look more like a Charlie a Charlie Dusking." But you can only dream.

Anyways, I had to get to the library fast. I scan the shelves still holding my guitar (I play in the park to relax my self).

I managed to get the first three on tape and the other three in books.

So I guess I'd better get to work, put the tape in and go on the internet.

I started at about 1.00 am and it's now about 11.00pm and I'm about on the last page of number 6. Looking at my watch I'm like yikes better go. So I stand up and something's bussing on the screen, and wham I'm pulled in, that's write you heard correctly pulled in to I don't know where.

Well I would have loved to be pulled in the middle of say a stand up comic act or a punk rock music concert where I'm invited up on stage to play my guitar and one of my original songs. But no -oh I get pulled into smack bang the middle of Hogwarts.

You no Dumbledore's office is waaaay creepier when you're inside it.

So far Snap has given me the 3rd degree so I've been straight with him. And he doesn't believe me, stupid old bat .How can they not believe a computer poofed me here they're WIZARDS for gods sake they practice magic! And a CPU poofing a 16 year old girl is too much to swallow?

"But your wizards." I argue "Can't ya just poof, me back?"

"No we might mess with fabric of existence. We are dealing with a higher power."
Let me take a moment to say I think the whole higher power thing is a complete load.

"I think it already got screwed up by coming here."

Well a lot of arguing goes on till professor McGonagall says I have to attended classes until what ever bought you here takes you back.

"She'll have to be sorted." Mutters Professor Dumbledore .So they place a musty old hat on me.

Hmmm lot of rebellion, and fighting spirit, oh and this ones cunning sounds like a Slytherin.

Oh god no not Slytherin not with Malfoy and his gang of dipwads.

Okay then GRYFFINDOR!

"Do you have to shout it?" I mutter

"No but it's a habit." It says as it's taken off my head.

They lead me to the great hall and sit me next to a girl with a shiny P badge on her chest.

"Please look after this new student."
The girl nods her head.

"Hi Hermione." Oh crap did I say that out loud.

"How did you know my name?" yep

"You look like a Hermione." Ron's sitting across from me stuffing his face I don't make the same mistake twice I let him say his name before shaking hands.
Suddenly Harry steps in covered in blood. Probably off saving the world again he is such a try hard. (Told you I never caught the potter craze)

"Harry what's wrong?" What happened to you?" Hermione practically sighs.

Harry's just sitting there with a big stupid grin on his face.

"What do you mean?" cough Try hard cough
"Well your covered in blood, or didn't you realise that yet?" I ask in false sweet voice.

Hermione shots me a glare Harry doesn't really seem to take what I've said into offence.

"So." He comes up right to my face and for the recorded he's go nothing on Daniel Radcliff. "What's your name?"

I end up telling them the whole story about my screwed up name. Before going to bed.

Professor McGonagall corners me before I can get there though.

"Would you like to follow Miss Granger around?" she asks

"No way I won't be able to understand a word that she says."
"Okay then Mr Potter and Mr Weasly."
I guess I can do that because not to be mean or anything but they kinda seem dumb enough to be my friends.

After she leaves I go to bed already whishing I was home.

And Johnny if your reading this somehow the STAY OUT OF MY PIGGY BANK!

Okay how did I go? Please tell me in reviews what you really think because I improve that way.