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Left, right, left, right, left, right, up, down, up, down.
Gaz practiced the intricate movements of the violin on thin air.
She was in the park, and the scene was almost perfect. It was spring, and the heavy perfume of lilacs, baby's breath and roses reached her nose. She sat between two flourishing peach trees, on a wooden bench. The occasional peach flower petal landed on her nose, and she shook it off daintily and continued the sonatina. Children were having picnics with their parents, and teenagers were dancing in the sprinklers.
The only thing that marred this otherwise faultless vista was Gaz's slightly exasperated look. It also flawed her otherwise beautifulness.
She had grown taller so she towered over Dib considerably, and her hair had grown out. It had darkened only a shade darker and it had grown past her hips. She usually wore it down, so it swished and swayed when she walked. Her skin was almost solid white, and her eyes were violet and still usually closed. Her lips were done up in black lipstick, and were now in a glower. She was wearing a black sundress with straps and a short skirt. She was barefoot and was sitting crisscross on the bench.
She took out her violin and played the graceful sonatina. The notes trembled and swayed elegantly. Her scowl disappeared and was replaced by a look of pure bliss. Her lips turned up in a smile and she escaped into a whole new world. Her hands knew exactly where to go, and she attracted attention from the multitude of people.
She doubted anyone knew the heartbreaking song she was playing, but she didn't care. Her hands flew up and down the violin bow as instructed. When she finished, she added the usual flourish of end music and packed away her violin.
She saw tears in the eyes of most of the spectators, but she didn't care. She just walked past and to the small lake.
When she arrived, she sat on the edge. She dipped in her toes and splashed them lightly around.
"So." She started, bringing one of her feet up. She droplets of water shined on her petite toes.
"It's been a while." She murmured. She returned the foot to the water. Tiny fish came up to curiously nibble at her pale toes. Then they swam away as they decided that the little toes weren't food.
"I just finished playing The Red Violin. It was your favorite piece…" she smiled softly, opening her eyes.
"You said it always made you cry. Now it makes me cry to play it…" she wasn't lying. Tears glistened in her eyes.
"You know…" She whispered, choked up by the tears, "It's been hard without you two…" Tears began to fall faster and faster.
"But…you guys told me to go on… so…" She cried, burying her head in her hands. She tucked her head between her legs and cried weakly.
"But, you two… are…were… the most important people in my life…" she wept. She turned towards the two graves.
The first one looked older, with the writing worn away by weather. It had a sun carved into the top. Some could faintly read the words on the grave. Gaz was one of them. She recited the words each night in her prayers. Some people think she's so strong...because she pretends that nothing is wrong. She ran her fingers over the gravestone.
The second grave was really only a slab of rock that she had carved the words into, because nobody else cared for him. Not enough to give him a real grave. She buried him herself, and she composed the words on his grave. Behind every beautiful thing, there is some kind of pain. He had confided in her each time, through all the tears… But it just wasn't enough… Not enough to live. She stood up, tears in her eyes. She took a piece of paper out of her bag and wrote.
When I die, I want to be buried right here. Next to the two graves of the ones I love most. I want to be buried when it's raining. I want this on my grave:
Before you left you had your arms around me tight, everything felt so right, unbreakable like nothing could go wrong, but now your gone.
I want his grave replaced by a good one, but the same words.
Remember me.
She finished the note and tucked it in her pack. Then, she got out her violin and played The Red Violin again.
Tears fell from her eyes as she played. They splattered on her violin, making the wood swell a bit.
As she finished the final part, she sang her own made up lyrics softly. Then she packed the violin back, put on her mask of indifference and returned home. She turned around once more before she left her sanctuary.
"Goodbye. I'll see you soon…" she smiled softly.
"Mom and Zim…"
If only you knew the story behind my eyes
If only you knew my smiles are all lies
If only you took the time to see
The girl I've become is no longer me