My gaze fell to Randy, he was taking off his shirt while absently staring at the floor. I couldn't take my eyes off him as he threw his shirt into the locker and sleepily rubbed at his eyes. Inside my mouth I bit my tongue and looked down with a smirk. The attraction was certainly there; just looking at him made my heart beat faster.
"Adam, this is so tiring." He groaned throwing himself down on the couch in a heap. His weight shifted the couch but Randy ignored it.
"Yeah, the life of a professional wrestler." I said softly, I know I had ignorantly avoided the deeper meaning to his comment. Randy gave growl from his throat in irritation.
"You know I don't mean that!" He snapped. I bit my lip nervously and leant back, hoping the couch would consume me and take me away from the confrontational moment I was stuck in. Randy turned his head and our eyes met, as much as I didn't want to look; I couldn't turn away. I closed my eyes tight, I felt safer in my own head right now. "Adam, look at me." Randy said softly, almost playfully. I peeked open and he smiled.
"Don't do that." I threw a water bottle at his head, it missed but he obviously took offence. He sat up and looked at own feet shaking his head.
"Lets not avoid this anymore. Come on man, we need to discuss this!" My partner said with a bit more aggression to his voice. Standing up I grabbed a fresh bottle of water of the catering table. Nervously I fiddled with it in my hands. Randy was eyeing me off, waiting for me to say something. I wanted to, but I didn't have anything to say. What does he want me to say? Good point…
"What do you want me to say? What the hell are we discussing?" I snapped at him as I began to pace. There were a million things he could mean, I just didn't want to talk about any of it! Can't we go about this 'relationship' like we had been for the last few months? We were put together as a tag-team because we had great chemistry. Everyone noticed it, everyone thought more deeply about it. The fans even questioned it when Amy left. Were we too close? But people weren't complaining, our partnership was the best people had seen in years. We were the bad guys and the fans brought it. Randy cleared his throat distracting me from my thoughts.
"Well, you know…" He paused and stared at me, my pacing stopped as I held his gaze. "We are gay!" he nearly shouted.
"Alright, keep it down! The walls are thin!" I hissed, nearly tempted to toss this water bottle at him. "You know it, I know it… That's good!" I nodded. Randy stood up now; he sauntered over and smiled again. ARGH! Was he trying to drive me mad? Is he angry? Horny? Happy? What the hell?!
"Yeah, as long as no one knows its all okay." My younger partner said. "But you say you love me. How do we love each other and live how we want to…if no one knows about it? Huh?" He shoved me in the shoulder.
"I don't know." I muttered looking away from him Randy didn't intimate me. I was just lost in this whole thing. It was too confusing. Too stressful.
"We spend most of the year together, sure I know. We are never short of chances to go out together, be together. But, I want to live with you; I want a home with you. I want my parents to meet you." He said, I shot a quick glance back at him and he looked like a lost puppy.
"Well, I've never been gay before! I always assumed I was straight. Then you come along and turn it all around. I don't know how these things work. As the boss would say we have an obligation to the fans, to the people. How would the millions of wrestling fans feel about us being gay?! How would the other guys feel about wrestling us?! They'd think we are feeling them up or checking them out in the match! It'd certainly be uncomfortable for everyone else and painful for us! Don't bitch at me about your issues with hiding this relationship! Because, remember randy I am stuck in this too!" I said. Randy pouted, his trademark thing really, I could see why the chicks loved it.
"Don't treat me like a child." He said pulling a serious face. I loved how his emotions ran so freely through his face. As if every little thought that went through his head was expressed on his face.
"Well, you are 7 years younger then me sonny!" I laughed at him. I wanted this cloud of argument to leave. Can't we relax?
"Yeah, I know. But I am bigger." Randy laughed standing up. He wrapped his arm around me. He always did this, even out in the ring! No wonder people are curious! The boss tells us to tone down on the 'man-hugs' but it just happens. Randy kissed my head and grabbed at my hair softly taking a handful. I couldn't help but feel better I had changed the subject! The darkness of the mood gone, thank god. I stepped back and we caught each other's gaze.
"Don't just stare at me. If your going to kiss me do it!" I smirked at him. Randy pulled a thoughtful face for a minute.
"Who said I am going to kiss you?" He said looking down at me with his intense brown eyes. I took a deep breath and gave him a questioning raise of the eyebrow. Randy sighed in defeat. "Right." He leant down and our lips met. It was like every other time I kissed him…mutual, perfect and nerve-racking. It made me sick with fear to kiss him, because it was so forbidden. But before I could step away, the door flung open…
"Hey, I just came to say Good- HOLY FUCK!" … I could only step back from randy; I put my hands over my mouth in horror as I gazed over at a very shocked John standing in the doorway. Obviously John was heading out to the show… dressed ready for a match he'd dropped his belts to the floor and his mouth agape. Wasn't that just most cliché thing that could happen? We got caught?!
"Umm John." Randy tried to say. Personally I couldn't move.
"Umm its okay. I should have knocked." John nodded looking away and picking up his belts, he was a humble man of the stage too. But it doesn't mean he isn't horrified. "I wanted to say good luck." He glanced at us sweetly and smiled. I was shaking furiously, so was randy and so was John. He shut the door and Randy took a step.
"Shit!" I threw the bottle at the lockers and it crack open spreading water through the empty locker. As it trickled out on to the floor Randy and I stared at the floor without words to say.