Disclaimer: I own nothing but this story
Summary: In the end, Octavia knew she was always going to choose her. Over the Skaikru. Over the Trikru. Over the Commander. Over her own brother. Octavia would always choose Clarke. Clarktavia Clexa. Warnings for violence and slight dubious consent if you stare closely
Always for her
For Octavia? The choice had come easily. The choice that her brother gave her when it became clear that he was going to hand Clarke over to Pike. Octavia knew what would happen and so did the brother that she no longer recognized. Pike would kill Clarke for treason. For "siding with the Grounders." Octavia knew it and so did Clarke, and disgustingly, Octavia knew that her brother had to know that Clarke would be killed as soon as she was in Pike's hands too. He just didn't care. That was why Octavia made the choice she made. That was why Octavia's hands went to her knife sliding it up, blade slicing into his neck, blood gushing out of the man's neck nonstop as soon as Octavia's blade went hilt deep into Bellamy Blake's throat. Blood gushed out of his mouth, trickling all over his face. His eyes went huge and glazed over as he stared at the girl had been his sister but now no longer was with disbelief as he went to his knees on the steel floor, trembling as the life left his body, collapsing.
Octavia stared coldly at the convulsing man on the floor, ignoring Clarke's horrified cries of her name. She knew that Clarke would blame herself for this. And while that had made her hesitate, she knew what she had needed to do to protect Clarke. And she had sworn to it. Not to Clarke, not to Lexa, not to anyone but herself. She had sworn to herself that she'd protect Clarke, regardless of what the danger was. Even her own brother.
Octavia leaned down and grabbed the hilt of her knife, rending it out of Bellamy's neck, uncaring of his grunt of agony and turned away from the soon to be corpse, walking straight to Clarke, grabbing Clarke's arm with one hand and flicking her arm with the knife with the other, letting the blood fly off the deadly blade all over the steel walls. Octavia processed what Clarke said and tried not to laugh at the questions being thrown at her like knives.
How could she kill her own brother?
Why did she do it?
Why did she "murder" Bellamy?
Why couldn't she have just talked to him?
Each of those questions was actually quite easy for Octavia Blake to answer. They all conveniently had the same answer. Why did she decide to kill her brother? Why couldn't she have talked to him instead? The answer was very simple. Because he had tried to get Clarke killed. That was why.
It was the same reason Octavia had stayed at the mountain when the Trikru had left, and Indra ordered her new Second to come with her, Octavia had refused, even when she saw that she had a new home she could go back to. She would not leave Clarke. It was the same reason why when Clarke had left and Octavia, going out and looking all through the woods an hour after first learning of Clarke's disappearance that Octavia had nearly left the camp too to search for Clarke, and not come back till Clarke was dragged back to camp with her, that was until Lincoln persuaded Octavia otherwise.
It was the same reason why when Octavia learned that Lexa had brought Clarke to Polis Octavia nearly bolted out of Arkadia to go to Polis before Lincoln stopped her. She had been so angry with him, but he reminded her that Clarke likely wasn't in a state where she could deal with someone as intense as her coming to her this soon. Lincoln hadn't said it like that, but Octavia understood it and it had hurt, understanding what Lincoln said. She understood what she had said back in the mountain was out of line. Clarke had done everything she could.
It was the reason why when Octavia learned that Clarke was staying in Polis, being Skaikru's ambassador, Octavia felt more relieved than she could help. She knew where Clarke was. Maybe she was alone with that disease that got Clarke to leave everyone in Ton DC to die, and left them again in the mountain, but at least now Octavia knew where Clarke was.
And it was why now, with Pike taking over and killing anyone that he thought was siding with the Grounders, including Clarke, Octavia would kill anyone, even Bellamy himself to protect Clarke from harm. Octavia was sure she wasn't the only one that would do this. She had doubts about Lexa before. But when she, Clarke, Lexa and Indra had been holed up, discussing how to infiltrate the Sky Peoples' base and stop Pike, Octavia had meant her words when she said that she could get Clarke inside. And that she'd protect Clarke.
She hadn't said those words, but when she had met Lexa's eyes they both shared that thought. Clarke needed to be protected. The main goal was to stop Pike. Without a doubt. They both knew that, as did Clarke. But the one thing realized both she and Lexa were thinking about besides Pike, was the safety of Clarke.
Octavia didn't like the idea of taking Clarke further into Arkadia, closer to the enemy. But she knew that that was what they needed to do to get this done. So against her better judgment, she took Clarke into Arkadia. Which led to what happened to her brother. As far as Octavia could see, her brother had brought this fate on himself. They didn't turn on family. And Bellamy had done that. Betrayed his family by getting ready to hand Clarke over to Pike. He was a traitor to their family. Octavia didn't betray anyone. She was protecting Clarke. She was protecting the person Bellamy had betrayed. That was why Octavia's focus was steel.
She would return Clarke to Polis and to Heda and they'd kill the Sky People that betrayed them. She, Clarke, Kane, Abby, Raven, Lincoln and the rest of the 100 would be safe. But everyone else would be wiped out.
Octavia was alright with that, she realized without any guilt, holding onto Clarke tight. This was for her people. This was for Clarke. She'd do it again too.
Octavia dragged Clarke to the opening of Arkadia, Lexa, Indra and a whole army of Trikru awaited them. Octavia knew it wasn't a wise idea, but she turned to Clarke and pulled the startled older girl into her arms, hugging her, her teeth closing over the side of Clarke's warm neck before she could help herself and tenderly bit down, bringing a gasp from the blonde. Octavia pulled away, just staring into Clarke's shocked face, the older girl's eyes glazed over a bit because of what Octavia had just done. Octavia coldly turned to the entrance of Arkadia, seeing the Commander's unsurprised look.
Apparently Lexa was expecting this.
After the tension that existed between Octavia and Lexa after Ton DC, Octavia knew she perhaps shouldn't have been surprised that Lexa knew. That push and pull relationship that existed between them and Clarke was unmistakable. There was no surprise for either Octavia or Lexa when it came to Clarke. Their Clarke.
Octavia pulled Clarke to the beginning of the metal ship and saw how the Commander nodded, accepting. It was a wordless agreement. Clarke was theirs. Octavia pulled Clarke through the opening of the ship and past the army, pulling Clarke to Ryder and Lincoln who held Clarke captive as Lexa ordered the attack.
Octavia gave a nod to Lincoln who said calmly back, "Sha." She and Lincoln spoke before Octavia took Clarke back to Arkadia. They had come to an understanding. They understood each other. She loved Lincoln, yes, but he wasn't meant to be hers. She knew that. He knew that too. He said in Trigedasleng, "I wish you both happiness, Oktevia." Octavia nodded in appreciation. She was just thankful that Lincoln didn't press her feelings when it came to Clarke. Lincoln cared about them both and wanted them both to be happy.
It was not easy coming to terms knowing that she was not in love with Lincoln. But Lincoln had perhaps always known. And he gave her his blessing. He just wanted her and Clarke to be happy together. Octavia would never stop being grateful to Lincoln for that.
Both Octavia and Clarke would be sharing Lexa's bed that night. They would both comfort Clarke in her grief over the deaths she couldn't stop. Clarke would weep, would cry and demand to know why neither Octavia or Lexa had done more to protect the Sky People, but both Octavia and Lexa would ignore those cries. Because in the end, they would always choose her over the Sky People.
Clarke would cry for the people that died today, but Octavia and Lexa would lay with her and comfort her, bring her to pleasure. The three of them would have a life together.
Even if Octavia needed to tolerate Lexa to have Clarke in her life, then she'd do it. Besides, she had killed her own brother for Clarke, Octavia could live alongside Lexa if it made Clarke safer and happier.
Author's note
So if anyone had any doubts, yes, the Sky People, except for the 100 and some of the adults that helped, have all been killed by Lexa's army.
I have complicated feelings when it comes to Octavia. I'm sure that she has unresolved romantic feelings for Clarke. I have no doubt of it. I'm sure she loves Lincoln. But I don't think she loves him the same way she loves Clarke. And I have sort of complicated feelings about how Octavia treats Clarke. I think Octavia is in love with Clarke, but I think Octavia really needs to learn tact. I know that she had a difficult life, but Clarke has a lot of trauma too. So try to be more delicate, Octavia.