Disclaimer: Saiyuki is (c)Kazuya Minekura, Enix Co., Tv Tokyo, etc. I do not claim to own any of these characters, though the views expressed within my story are my own. All original characters and ideas in this story are (c)kitsune-oni (userid:289468), and use of my stories and/or any original plots, themes or characters will not be tolerated.
Written: September 21, 2004
A/N: I was watching TV when I saw a commercial for chewing gum. I'd seen it a billion times before, but somehow this time it inspired me. So I wrote it out, applying it to Saiyuki charas, and ended up extended it a whole lot (the original didn't have any dialogue). Heehee! Enjoy.
Houtou Castle Chewing Gum
Goku, Gojyo, and Hakkai watched Sanzo as he struggled with the lid of the water canteen, holding a toothbrush in one hand.
"It's no use, Sanzo," Hakkai admonished. "It's empty."
Sanzo just glared at him angrily before doubling his efforts to unscrew the lid.
"I can't believe it," Gojyo whined. "Stuck in the middle of a desert without a drop of water to drink!"
Goku pouted. "And without any water to brush our teeth!"
"Our teeth?" Gojyo screeched. "Who cares about our teeth when our life is in danger?"
Goku sniffed haughtily. "Obviously you've never stayed with anyone long enough to appreciate the horrors of morning breath. Anyway, it's just like a kappa to have watered down senses."
"Shut up, all of you," Sanzo growled. "And Goku, hold my toothbrush."
Goku wrinkled his nose, but did as he was told.
With both hands free, Sanzo finally managed to unscrew the lid. He snatched back his toothbrush and tipped over the canteen, trying to shake a few drops loose.
There was no use trying. It was empty.
"Oh no, what are we going to do?" Goku wailed.
"Shut up! I'm trying to concentrate!"
The four looked up when they heard the soft swoosh of wings, only to see Kougaiji land before them atop of a flying dragon.
"Well look who's here," Kougaiji said. "I didn't expect to meet you."
"Water. Do you have some?" Sanzo asked, still shaking the empty canteen over his toothbrush.
"Water? To brush your teeth? Why waste it?" Kougaiji pulled out a packet of Houtou Castle chewing gum and popped one into his mouth, a sly smile on his face.
Sanzo's eyes locked on to the packet of gum. "I'll give you my gun in exchange."
Hakkai and Gojyo looked at Sanzo in surprise. Goku, however, said nothing, seeming determined that they obtain some sort of relief for the smell that greeted him in the morning.
Kougaiji raised an eyebrow. "What would I need that for?"
"My credit card!"
"I suck at imitating signatures, and anyway those three floating heads would have my head."
"My jeans!"
"Don't need that either."
"My sandals!"
"As if I'd go around wearing those."
"Fine... fine! My skintight leather top!"
"I've already got one of those." Kougaiji smirked, and patted his dragon's neck. "Dragon hide, actually."
"You what!" Sanzo shrieked. "Since when? I'm the only one allowed to--"
"Are you done yet?"
Sanzo looked crestfallen, Gojyo snickered softly, Hakkai continued to smile, and Goku glanced at Kougaiji appreciatively.
"I guess..." Sanzo looked down.. "I'll give you my sutra."
Kougaiji raised a hand and stroked his chin, thinking. "How about you give me Goku instead?"
"Goku?" Sanzo repeated, glancing over at the teen in question. "Well, I... I could...."
"I can't believe you'd even consider it!" Goku fumed.
"Well?" Kougaiji asked smugly.
Goku glared at Sanzo and stalked over to Kougaiji's side, going up on his tiptoes as Kougaiji leaned down. They looked at each other for several moments, forehead against forehead, before Goku turned away triumphantly.
"Fine, have it your way."
Kougaiji grabbed Goku's hand and heaved him up on to the dragon. Sanzo gritted his teeth when Goku wrapped his arms around Kougaiji's waist.
"Here," Kougaiji said lazily, pulling out a packet of gum and throwing it at Sanzo's feet. "Don't worry, Goku. There's more where that came from."
He smirked, and then the dragon was soaring up, up, and up into the sky, an ever decreasing point on the horizon.
Sanzo picked up the packet and put a piece of gum into his mouth immediately, with obvious satisfaction.
"When you don't have a toothbrush, chew Houtou Castle chewing gum for a nice, fresh-tasting breath," Hakkai crooned up to Hakuryuu, smiling.
Sanzo nodded happily. Slowly, however, a frown began to crease his face. "Wait a minute..." He stared after Goku and Kougaiji, looking confused. "Without Goku, there's no point in me having gum."
"Tough luck, monk," Gojyo crowed. "Tough luck."
The End