Perched on the tree limb outside of Kurama's window, I stared down the street. The fox always came from the same direction, and I was willing to wait patiently, watching. I leaned back against the trunk of the tree and let my mind float to soft petals and seductive thorns. A dreamy smile crossed my lips. I could see Kurama perfectly in my mind; the long, flowing locks, the large, sympathetic green eyes, the soft, sensual lips. I sighed quietly. If only the Spirit Fox could know what I was feeling... I sat up in the tree. I couldn't let my guard down. The love I had for the warrior was not to be shared. That would just make me vulnerable, and I was not vulnerable. Not to anything, but especially not these ridiculous ningen emotions. What was love anyway? Nothing I wanted from life, that was for sure. In the Makai, I cared for no one but myself. But here, among the humans...among Kurama, I was enveloped by my indulgent heart. The love I felt for him was too overwhelming.
My thoughts were brought to a halt by the sight of Kurama illuminated by a streetlamp just 30 feet from my tree. I watched the fox's progression up the street, which was slow indeed. He paused to smell a rose, though the roses here were nothing compared to those in the Makai. Before he could reach his mother's yard, two girls, his classmates, I assumed, approached him. They conversed for several minutes, until I began to grow impatient. Just as I was going to jump from the tree and leave, the three parted and Kurama made his way up the driveway to the front porch. I smiled and resumed my laid back position against the tree trunk, balancing perfectly on the limb and waiting for Kurama to come to his room. My visits to this house had become less and less frequent the more my love for my partner grew. It seemed that, as of late, my knees went weak whenever I was around the Spirit Fox.
Just as I began to sink into memories of his smile, I glanced up to see Kurama enter the room. He looked drawn, tired. I frowned. Gone was the lighthearted sparkle from my love's eye. I saw the redhead's shoulders heave, and saw his chin drop. His crimson locks fell around his face like a veil, and I stared at the distraught body, my own frame racked with love. Then, suddenly, Kurama looked up and stared straight at me. A single tear dropped down his cheek.
I threw my school bag down on my bed. It had been two weeks since I'd seen my beloved. Hiei was so cold. How could a fire demon have a frozen heart? How could he not feel the things I felt? How could he not see the things I saw? I sighed and bowed my head. had Hiei had ceased to consider my home a shelter for him, would he no longer come to me? If I couldn't at least be near him, feel his eyes on at me, my reason for living would be over. I had no excuse to see him. If he chose not to visit me, I was to say goodbye to my love, the only man I lived for. Yet I could never tell him. I glanced up at my window, hoping to see Hiei's small frame perched there on the limb. For a moment, I thought it was there; but it could not be. A tear trickled from my eye, because I knew I would not again see his body grace my window frame. Yet, when the form did not disappear, I rushed to the window and flung it open, my heart flooding with undescribable emotion.
"Hiei!" I exclaimed. "Hello! I haven't seen you in so long." I stepped back as he hopped through the window. I stared him up and down. Was he harmed? "Are you alright? Do you need help with something?" I asked, a concerned frown on my face. He scowled.
"You think I can't take care of myself, fox?" he snapped. I smiled. Yes, that was the man I loved so desperately. I should inform him of my loyalty. Maybe, one day, I could inform him of my love as well.
"Of course I know you can, Hiei, but I've healed you in the past, and you know that any time you need me I'll be here." Hiei stared at me for a moment. Perhaps in disbelief, perhaps in indifference. He then stepped around me and went to sit cross-legged on my bed. I took the chair to my desk. As much as I yearned to be near him, be beside him, I knew he would just leave if I got too close. I could not risk him going away for so long again. It tore me apart.
"Are you hungry?" I asked, knowing that I must be irritating him with my constant questions. He licked his lips and I knew he was hungry for ice cream.
"Sweet snow?" he asked. I smiled.
"Of course. I'll be right back." I got up from my chair, and left the room. I could feel Hiei's eyes boring into my back. I glanced over my shoulder at him but he had turned away.
I gulped down the lump in my throat. I had tried my hardest not to attach my eyes to Kurama's hips, yet the way they swayed was like a hypnotic pendulum. I stood from the bed and paced in a small circle. How had I allowed this to happen? What was going on with me! I discontinued my pacing and strode to the window. My face was caressed lovingly by the cool breeze that drifted in through the open window. I stared up at the stars, my bangs blowing back and tickling the sides of my face. I felt a hand that was not my own brush the tendrils away. I had not heard him approach. I tensed, and whirled to him. He held out my bowl of sweet snow and smiled.
"Beautiful night, eh?" he said, raising his eyes to the sky. I stared at the contours of his profile, and I felt my heart bursting to tell him the truth; to admit that I'd loved him for so long; to confess that my knees went weak at the sound of his voice. Before I could realize what I was doing, I set the bowl on the windowsill and took him in my arms. I lifted my lips to his and kissed him tenderly. I felt his strong hands cup my shoulders and pull me closer. I stilled, my insides warring against me. I wanted so to stay but my head was begging me to pull away and flee. I ripped away from him, breathing heavily.
"Hiei." he said softly, his eyes glinting with the knowledge of my love. Inside, I was screaming. My lips still longed, begged, for his. I scowled.
"Don't say a word," I snapped. "Stupid fox, you've been staring at me all night. So there, I indulged you. Will you quit with those eyes now?" He stared at me, his eyes cynical. I let out a low growl and whirled to the window. I put a foot on the sill and began to hoist myself up. His hand gripped my elbow and pulled me back. I yanked away from him.
"Don't touch me, fox!" I shouted, and leapt desperately from the window.
I stared at the gaping window through which he'd disappeared. I knew better than to chase after him; he'd be long gone by now. He knew of my feelings for him. He had allowed me one kiss, and could not know that I would never be satisfied with just one. I let out a low sob that sounded like a laugh from a man who had lost all hope and was resigned to being alone. He would never be mine. He scorned my love.
I stood on the branch below Kurama's window, and heard something that sounded very much like a chuckle. He was laughing at me! It wasn't enough that he'd mocked my love for him, the desperation that had racked my soul and driven me to kiss him. Oh, but I would dream of his lips. They had moved against mine so sweetly. The man I considered my best friend had just been in to score. To break me, make me think he felt things for me that he didn't so that my guard would be down. Never again. He would never again make me vulnerable to him. I would just disappear.stay away from him so that he could not betray me further. Yet how could I stay away from the man I loved?
That's all I've got for now! It's my first fanfic, so go easy on me, but please do R&R (read and respond). Thanks so much and I'm expecting to have a second one out by the end of this week. Thanks! Tay . \/