A thousand times, we die in one life.
We crumble, break and tear apart until the layers of illusion are burned away and all that is left,
Is the truth of who and what we really are.
XxXx Prologue xXxX
Why did things have to come to this?
At this point, she didn't even know who she was. Who had she been? Who will she be? And when they release him, will she still be the same person?
She shuddered; she didn't even want to think about him. She had someone else now. Someone… that she belonged with.
A few months ago, her life took a turn for the worst—in the sharpest way possible. She had never felt more betrayed, lied to, or ignored. It was only natural for her to turn to someone like him.
...Someone rebellious. Someone strong. Someone who would protect her. Because everything and everyone she knew had let her down.
But when he held up that shotgun, she knew. She just knew. And she wasn't going to keep up this charade with him.
He got what he deserved, and she understood that. So why did she still feel guilty? She had her parents, her little brother, and her best friend. There was nothing more she could ask for.
No matter how she felt about this certain person, she knew her memories of him would never fade. Those sleepless night, those dreamy days, those mesmerizing red eyes that still captivated her to this day. His charm. His mind. Everything about him, she would remember for the rest of her life.
She fell prey to his heart.
He was a criminal. A predator. A mentally-insane, murderous psycho.
Only a few days ago, she didn't know that. He didn't seem that way, nor act. And all she thought was that he was simply a troubled boy with a dark, complicated past.
She'd thought she loved him. And, to be honest, some parts of her truly did. Maybe still to this day, even after all the things he did. Or, rather… the things he was going to try. The things he'd wanted to do.
She knew more than anything in the world that he still loved her. Even after what she did to him.
It all started so normally. So sweet, in its own sort of fucked up way. Just like in an old horror movie.
Let's go back to that beginning.
(She = you.)
Chapter One: Burden of Sinners
"Y'know, _, I always thought you were one to hang with the preppy crowd," Alfred mused, his face half-stuffed with a hamburger.
I slurped on my soda as I turned to look at him, "What? Why?"
He chewed, and then set down the burger. It balanced on his knee, since the car's dashboard was already filled with wrappers, CDs, and unfinished math homework. "Because, we do go to a private school after all," His blue eyes slid to me, "And when you first came, I totally thought you'd start hanging with, y'know, them. But… instead, you chose me. It's… nice." He grinned.
I couldn't help but smile back. Alfred was the only one at our school who wasn't the prim-perfect, model-ready type of rich kid. "…Yeah," I agreed. It is nice. I'm the one who has you.
The other students didn't quite accept him. They were all the stereotypical snobby private-schoolers that both Alfred and I could have sworn we'd seen in every college movie. They either thought Alfred was too loud, too hyper, or just too annoying. I didn't speak to them.
He finished up his after-school fast food, and soon I did as well. "So. How long has it been now? Three years?"
Even without asking, I knew what he was talking about. "Yep. Remember when I first moved here, and you literally ran into my house while we were still unloading from the U-Haul and begged for me to come and play?"
He laughed, "Hey, I was what, twelve? Thirteen? And I didn't say 'play'—I said 'hang out'!"
I rolled my eyes, "Sure." But you still ran into my house before I'd even gone inside twice. I was so happy that someone already wanted to be my friend. So very happy.
"Good times, good times. My mom wants to see you, by the way."
I nodded, "I wanna go over to your house again. But, you know, my parents lately…"
He nodded as well, his face suddenly solemn. "Yeah, I know…"
These days, Alfred was my only friend. And not just because he was basically the only person I talked to at school—but because my parents seemed to dismiss me more and more as of late. They snapped at me, they argued with me, they hid things from me. Secrets. Don't ask why, but I just knew it.
My parents were, to put it kindly, not my friends.
Well… not even that told the whole truth. They weren't even my parents.
Foster parents. Henry and Lauren.
I don't even like to talk about my real parents. They were nothing but a disappointment, really. Mom? She gave birth to me, threw me over to daddy, left, and never looked back. She was a prostitute. Dad? He kept me until about four years ago. Then he started drinking again. And doing drugs. I was taken into foster care before he could start beating me.
But Henry and Lauren weren't the perfect parents either. Sure, they took care of me, and they gave me everything I could have ever wanted, until I didn't want these expensive gifts anymore and realized I wanted their love. Which they didn't have, they didn't give. They just needed a kid to make themselves look good. Like, well… a family. They couldn't have kids. They wanted to be the perfect, rich family that all their friends were. They needed that too, apparently. So they got me, and they improved their image.
At least I had Alfred. Unlike me, his family was kind of adorable. And loving. Mr. Jones is a lawyer, and the Mrs. is a nurse. Their daughter—Alfred's sister—Amelia, is in college studying to be a veterinarian. They're all blonde, with bright blue eyes. Alfred wants to be a professional football player, and that's sort of the only reason he agreed to go to this stuck-up private school—their amazing football program.
"I haven't been hearing good things about them lately,"
I turned in my seat to face him, "What?"
He looked down, and fiddled with his soft drink's straw. "Your parents. People around town have been talking. Even my dad asked me to check up on you… mostly your parents. He wants to know if everything's alright."
I looked back down to my lap, "Oh…" Things weren't alright. "Well… you already know my dad lost his job."
Alfred nodded slowly, "Yeah…" Where we lived, money meant everything. A job loss would be like the end of the world to any family here.
And my parents were living proof that it was true. "I don't know what's gonna happen. My dad told me to come home right after school, but…" I trailed off again. As always, I was mad at him. Every day, it seemed, I was angry with Henry and Lauren. All they did was yell at me and… someone else. But I'll get to that later. "He said he needed to talk to me, and the rest of the family. But he-"
"-He's been kind of a dick to you?" Alfred said it like he was kidding—grin and all—but we both knew his statement was spot-on.
I exhaled, "Yeah. You just… you wouldn't believe how they've been treating me lately!" I suddenly broke down, covered my face, and turned as far away from him as possible. My heart was suddenly hurting, tears stinging in the corners of my eyes.
His eyes instantly widened, "What…? Dude are you serious? Is it… really getting that bad? …Dude?" His voice was soft as he tried to reach for me, but I didn't want him to touch me. It was a bit difficult to show since I was sitting in the passenger seat of his car while he was in the driver's.
"I just… No, it's alright. We're fine. I… need to get home now." I quickly pulled myself together. After all, I was getting used to the pain. And getting used to hiding it as well. But sometimes, I lost my grip.
Alfred's eyebrows creased, and his cerulean blue orbs filled with worry as he watched my unstable form. "Huh, are you sure…? Because, if you really need to talk, then I guess-"
"-No, it's okay. Really." I looked him in the eyes and tried to smile. "Please. Can you drive me home?"
He tried to pry a bit more, but I didn't let him. I already felt bad about it; he was only trying to help. And lately I just kept pushing him away. That didn't help our friendship, and I didn't like that. But I was facing some major hardships at home. I didn't want to bring him down with my troubles. After all, things would get better, wouldn't they? I didn't want to ruin our relationship over it.
Part of me knew he would understand, since he was my best friend, but another part of me was too ashamed to tell him. I hated it. Alfred had always been someone special to me—very, very special—and I wished I had the confidence to tell him how things really were at my house.
…But I just couldn't.
Soon, I got him to drive me home. His car was brand-new, so it didn't take very long to pull out of the McDonald's parking lot and get me to my house. Alfred was only sixteen, but he'd gotten his permit at fifteen and a half and his license on his sixteenth birthday. I felt like scum compared to him; I was almost sixteen and hadn't yet thought to get my permit yet.
"Hey. Don't be shy to call me if you need anything, 'kay? Like if you just need to talk and stuff. Alfie's here for you! 'Kay?" He said as he pulled up to the enormous, circular driveway.
I gave him a smile, "Okay." I already know you're here for me, no matter what. So why can't I bring myself to tell you…?
He gave me a wink and a thumbs-up. I smiled again and began to unbuckle my seat belt. "Alright. See you at school." I said as I exited the car and shut the passenger door.
He grinned, "See ya!" His tires screeched as he took off down our driveway. When his car was halfway to the gate, I heard him yell out a "Text me, dude!".
I sighed. He was gone now. And as always, I was left feeling like many things were left unsaid.
Not just about my situation at home. But feelings between him and I, relationship-wise.
Of course I liked him. Like, liked him. What, was I in second grade? I had a crush on him. How else am I supposed to say it? I had feelings for him? I was… interested in him?
Whatever. I knew I liked him as more than a friend. But did he return the feelings? I had no idea. He never talked about girls, and he was pretty oblivious to love and relationships. I was almost starting to think he was asexual or something! He's never had a girlfriend, but he has once mentioned he thought I was cute…
Although, a crush is a crush. It's nothing serious. So I've been able to keep it in all these years without it bothering me too much. It always helped that he never got a girlfriend or liked anyone. I had no idea how I'd feel about something like that. First and foremost, he was my friend, after all. Best… friend.
When I finished the long walk from my driveway to the front door, the mansion was already unlocked. Hm, that's strange. Usually Inez locks the door… I thought to myself. Inez was our family's live-in housekeeper. "…I'm home," I say as I step in the door.
I'd said it ironically. To feel like a normal family for once. I knew there wouldn't be a happy, light-hearted mood in my house, and that there never really had been.
I didn't get a response. Strange, I'd half-expected the silence and half-expected for Henry or Lauren to shout down at me from upstairs. Possibly about how late I was. About how they'd told me to come straight home from school while instead I'd ignored them and stayed out with Alfred.
"Big sister?" I heard a small voice float in from the living room.
I instantly felt a pain in your chest. The poor kid. "Peter…?" I replied quietly. They hadn't hurt him, did they?
Quickly, I dropped my backpack and half-walked, half-ran for the living room. Damn, why was our house so big? Oh wait, the answer was simple. Henry and Lauren liked to show off how much money they made. Too bad ol'Henry recently lost his job.
"Peter, are you okay?" I asked once I made it into one of the mansion's many living room areas.
The small, fragile six-year-old boy glanced up from his mess of toy cars and ships. "I-I'm fine," He tried to smile, "…I'm just glad you're here." He whimpered, now looking back down.
He was my new little brother. Henry and Lauren had adopted him a year ago to make the family feel more 'complete'. But, just like they did with me, they barely acknowledged him once he came home. He became just another showpiece of their collection. The picture-perfect family they'd aimed for was visible from the outside, but far from it on the inside.
"Where are Henry and Lau- I mean, mom and dad?"
He mindlessly trailed a toy car across the nearby couch's armrest, "They're here. But, they've been yelling a lot. At each other and stuff. Like always…" He trailed off. For being just a child, he was pretty smart and knew how to describe things to you. Just like a little reporter.
I sighed again. Of course, I felt bad for him. Such a bright kid like him should've gone to a loving family. Not a broken one like mine.
"I just don't see what you want me to do!" I heard a familiar voice shout from upstairs.
My ears instantly perked up. Normally my foster parents 'chatted' about their… 'current circumstances' while in Henry's sound-proof office, not out in the halls. Maybe for once I'd get to hear what they were arguing about. I knew it probably had to do with Henry recently losing his job, but I guessed there was more to it than that. Much more. Things they didn't want me to know. They'd kept it down low for a while, but all the yelling had long made me suspicious about if they were hiding something.
"Well, Lauren? What other options do we have?!" It sounded like Henry was coming down the stairs, Lauren in tow.
"It's all your fault! How could you do this? We trusted you!" She nearly screeched. By now Henry had walked into the kitchen, probably to grab another Jack Daniel's.
I glanced over to Peter, "We should go up to your room…" I whispered. The kitchen was closely attached to the living room.
His blue eyes widened with tears, "But…-"
"-Don't give me that crap. I was only trying to keep us safe, and you know that!"
"'Keep us safe'?!" Lauren echoed, her loud voice nearly rebounding off the walls, clearly filled with disbelief; "You lied, stole money from your own job's company, and gambled away all our savings?! Is that your idea of safe?" She was seething with anger by now, in contrast to Henry drinking away at the kitchen table.
At this, I couldn't help but gasp. Henry had done what?
"I was trying to win back some money to keep us together for a while. Without this job, we're nothing. And, now that we lost our savings…" He paused to take another drink of his alcohol, "I already told you what we have to do." He leaned back in his chair, as if nothing mattered to him.
Lauren was left speechless. I didn't know what Henry had in mind, or whatever it was he told Lauren, but I guessed it was something drastic. I had no idea to what extent.
"Peter…" I looked down to my little brother, and saw he was covering his ears with a couch cushion.
Lauren ran her fingers through her hair; I had never seen her look this stressed. Henry had never quite drowned himself in whiskey either, only recently had he begun using it to escape his problems. It was frightening. I had already seen what the horrors of alcohol could do to a person—like my own biological father.
All of a sudden, Lauren sighed deeply, features still cross, and glanced over towards me. With a frown and uncaring voice, she told me, "We have to move. We can't live here in San Diego anymore. We simply can't afford it, due to your father's own horrible decisions." She turned and left, not even bothering to see my reaction. A few seconds later, I heard her bedroom door slam.
Peter slowly removed the pillow, obviously noticing the silence. "Is… is everything okay?" He nearly whispered.
Henry ignored him. He just continued to drink his Jack Daniel's, straight from the bottle.
I exhaled, heart pounding. Trying my best to smile, I softly ruffled the top of his hair. "It'll be okay." …I hope.
-D-E-A-D-L-Y-A-T-T-R-A-C-T-I-O-N-
Henry and Lauren hardly spoke at dinner.
It was canned food, since I'd found out earlier that Lauren had fired Inez. We can't afford the luxury of a live-in housekeeper anymore, she'd heartlessly told my shocked face. She hadn't even looked up from a stack of bills as she'd told me. Even though she knew Inez and I had grown close.
Inez had always cooked the most amazing dinners. And, even though I didn't want to sound like a brat, I had to admit that I hated canned food or anything else that was cheaply made. Henry and Lauren had gotten me spoiled, but that was back when they were rich.
So we really have to move? I thought as I picked at my plate of black beans. It hadn't quite sunk in earlier, but the eerie silence of my foster parents had long reminded me. Just the thought felt horrifying. I'd be leaving Alfred, my only friend? Where were we even moving to? Was it far? Too far to see Alfred? There had to be some other option besides moving, wasn't there?
I quickly realized there wasn't. Most families had close-by relatives, or even family friends, at least grandparents. But our family didn't. So there was no one that Henry and Lauren could move in with.
Both of them were born without brothers or sisters. That ruled out any possible aunts, uncles, or cousins. My foster parents had friends, but they weren't real friends. They were just people they knew from the country club; not nearly close enough to offer financial aid or a place to stay. And grandparents? Both sets were dead.
"W-Why is everyone so quiet?" Peter murmured, head staring down at the plate of canned beans. He couldn't bring himself to look up.
I'd wanted to ask the same question. Except, I knew better. They wouldn't give me a real answer. Plus they were both clearly stressed out and irritated—they would bite my head off if I spoke to them.
A silence followed Peter's question. Henry downed more of his Jack Daniel's bottle, while Lauren continued to eat one tasteless bean at a time. Both were staring off into space, eyebrows creased, dark circles beneath their eyelids, and scowls on their faces.
I couldn't take it anymore. They hadn't explained anything about their situation. Not even after Lauren informed me that the family was moving. I exhaled and set down my fork, "Mom, dad…" I said it like a warning, "Can you tell us what's gonna happen, please? You told me you had to talk to me after school, and you never did that." It was fair enough. They couldn't yell at me for asking this. I was safe. And so was Peter.
Lauren closed her eyes and pinched the bridge of her nose. Henry set down his bottle for once and eyed me down, "…You want to know what's going to happen?" The way he said it sent chills down my spine. I knew this bit of news would not be pretty.
"Yes," I replied, slow and careful.
He sighed, and carelessly scratched his cheek. "We obviously can't afford to live in this mansion anymore. I lost all our money. We have to move to where the cost of living is cheaper, and where I can find a new job."
Nervously, I drummed my fingers against the tabletop. "Where is that? Do you know yet?"
"I do. It's in Texas."
I immediately felt a prickly heat spread over my body. A heavy feeling fell upon my shoulders, my head started to ache, and faint black dots slowly began to obscure my vision, "…Texas?" I was starting to feel dizzy. That state was too far away.
He nodded, "Near Houston. It's a small, beat-up old house that is in need of repairs, but I bought it already."
I couldn't believe what I was hearing. Before I could even respond, Lauren hissed, "Tell her who you bought it from."
I instantly looked back towards Henry, "Who…?"
He downed the rest of his whiskey and slammed it back against the table, "My dad."
…His dad.
The man who would be my grandfather. The man I should've met years ago. The man my foster father had now apparently been lying to me about since my adoption. "…What?"
Peter's high-pitched voice cut in, "Huh? You told me your parents were dead!"
Lauren nodded, expression free of sympathy. She answered for her husband: "Well, they aren't. They own a housing complex, and once I forced your father into finally calling them, they let us rent the shittiest, most broken-down one bedroom house in the area. No one has rented it for years. We'll have to clean it out ourselves."
I was taking in too much. But these were things I had to know; things I had to know right now or else they would never be explained. "Peter and I have grandparents?" I glared directly at Henry, my teeth clenched, "Why didn't you tell us?!"
He finally snapped. Bolting up from his chair—which screeched loudly and fell over in the process—he shouted, "Because it was easier to say they were dead than to tell you the truth!"
My eyes widened in horror. Easier than telling me the truth? "What do you mean?! They're your mom and dad!" I shouted back.
"No, they're penny-pinching monsters whose hearts shriveled up so long ago they can't remember even having them," He kicked the chair out of his path and stalked over to the refrigerator for more Jack, "They're slumlords in a horrible, hard-scrabble town, and until now, I hadn't spoken to them since I went to college." He pulled out a fresh bottle and threw the door closed. "Satisfied?"
I almost wanted to smack him. Getting off my chair, I faced him and spat, "So you stole money from customers in your corporate job, got caught, fired, gambled away all of our savings, and have been lying to me and Peter?" I was practically breathless with indignation, "You're a thief, a gambler, and a liar!"
All was silent following my outburst. I had never spoken to Henry that way. When he was so cold and heartless towards me now, how would he react to my accusations?
Wordlessly, he set down his bottle. He glared at me with dark, beady eyes, and slowly advanced forward. I had never seen his jawline so tight or his expression so furious.
He made it to where I was standing. I saw him raise an arm. He aimed it towards my face. I closed my eyes and braced myself for the hit, but… it never came.
After a few seconds, I slowly fluttered my eyelids open. Henry had lowered his arm. He stared at me with unreadable features before gritting his teeth, snatching up his bottle, and exiting the kitchen.
Henry had never laid a hand on me before. As the times were changing, so would he. Lauren as well. They had already changed so much within the past few months. Somehow I wasn't surprised that Henry had almost hit me.
"Well then, let's clean up. We're going to have a garage sale this weekend. _, Peter. I need you to get rid of anything you don't need and put it in some boxes. Everything must go but our clothing and essentials. Cellphones will be canceled, except for one for emergencies." Lauren got up and threw her food down the drain. As she looked back up, she noticed I was still standing in the same spot. "What are you doing? Get packing! We have to leave for Texas as soon as we can!" The look on her face was strict, bitter.
Within a few days, my life had taken a sharp turn. From a mansion in California to a slum in Texas—and permanently enraged foster parents who wouldn't stop shouting. Financial ruin, debt, lies, excessive alcohol consumption and mistreat of children. Was Peter next? If Henry started beating me, would he do the same thing to my little brother?
…Could things get any worse?
I was moving almost halfway across the United States. Would I ever see my best friend again?
Little did I know, this was only the beginning of a real-life nightmare.
Because there was something there waiting for me in Texas. And a lesson about tempting the gods.
Someone who would make me question what I'd do at my breaking point. Someone who would awaken the darkness.
RE-UPLOAD: This story got taken down by FanFiction so I'm just republishing it. Apparently reader-inserts aren't allowed on here. Originally this story was in second-person POV (ex: you/your), but I changed it to first-person POV (ex: I/me) to fit the rules. The narrator's now an OC called Reader, but I still won't be inserting a name; you can definitely still use your own. There are no changes to this story other than the POV. I hope you guys understand ;-; (And that this fanfic won't be deleted again.) (POV = Point Of View)
A.N.: Shit's about to get real.
I can't wait for 2P!America's appearance next chapter. I just- ASDFGHJKL. *_* …Well I uh, hope you liked the first chapter, even though it was only used for setting up the main story… *cringe* (Keep in mind that this is mainly a 2P!America x Reader fic, with just a tense side of America x Reader)
Oh, and I'm not actually a Sealand fan, but a younger sibling was needed for the progression of this story. He's even younger than his real age here, ha. And don't worry, I won't make him annoyinglikeheisintheseries *coughcough*
Yes, 'Amelia' was Fem!America, because why not? The more America the better, right? /shot. Heh, it'd be funny if I also added 2P!Fem!America. Since we're all Amerifans here, yeah? /double shot.
I'm in love with him anyway. Review please?