All right, you want your smutty Septiplier fanfiction? I gotcha pervs…
Sorry boys, it had to be done…
You're welcome fangirls…

What Happens at PAX…STAYS at PAX…

A sharp prod in the ribs caught Jack off guard. He was talking to some fans when Mark snuck up beside him and, not so gently, jabbed his elbow into Jack's side.
"Oww, what the fuck! Oh, it's you, little shit…what do you want?" Jack joked while rubbing his sore side. Mark smiled sinisterly and put his arm on Jack's shoulder, the fangirls eyes were welling up with tears and devious hopes. They would, of course, be disappointed yet again.
"Nice to see you too!" Mark laughed, then he dropped his voice to a whisper, turned his head and leaned back a bit, so the fans couldn't hear or see what he was saying.
"Guess what I got…" he breathed quietly. Jack raised an eyebrow and made sure he showed no real interest in front of the fans. Turning to look at the ridiculous smirk on Mark's face he couldn't help but tilt his head slightly and feel one corner of his mouth turn up.
"Curiosity is a fucking bitch." Jack began,
"How long are you planning to stay out here?" Mark asked, again very quietly.
"Give me 20 minutes, cool?" Jack answered. The almost imperceptible twitch of Mark's eye confirmed that 20 minutes would work. 20 minutes until what, Jack had no clue, nor did he much care at the moment. He was chillin' with the fans and whatever nonsense Mark had lined up would surely wait.
PAX can get a bit crazy, the fans can get a bit crazy. It's a popular and well-known fact that Jack himself can get a bit crazy. As the minutes ticked by he was finding it hard not to look down at his watch every couple seconds, distracted by that damn curiosity thing again. It wasn't like him to dip out on the fans early, in fact quite the opposite, but after 15 minutes of unfocussed interactions, Jack said goodbye to everyone and got out of there. Behind the scenes, there were many rooms set up for the creators to chill and relax and wait for their various venues to attend.

Rounding a corner Jack found himself, yet again, caught off guard by Mark who jumped out and startled him, they laughed hysterically, doubled over for a minute.
"Ohh you fucking shit fucker! Why!" Jack yelled, then couldn't help laughing himself.
"Ah! Your face! Fuck…" Mark sniggered and took a deep breath. He had a ridiculous unicorn backpack on his back and a tight black T-shirt on with a navy blue hoodie over top, he looked a little sweaty and extremely nefarious.
"Alright, alright calm yourself! What are you on about now huh? You got me all curious now dammit." Jack asked skeptically, looking Mark up and down unintentionally.
"He he he he he…I got something. Come with me, we need to disappear for a bit." Mark replied suspiciously, then he grabbed Jack's sweater collar and turned on his heel.
"Oh fuck…okay?"
"Shhushhh…no questions. Sneaky-sneaky time."
Being pulled by Mark…or perhaps Mark had stepped out for a minute and his lovely alter-ego had filled in for the time…Jack had no choice but to oblige, so he did. The Washington State Convention Center is a big place, with all kinds of secrets. Jack had no clue where he was being dragged to, or why, but there was a slight feeling of thrill bubbling up inside him. They were dodging people all over the place, Mark kept shoving Jack behind plants and billboards and had insisted that he put the hood of his sweater up. Mark had done the same and was doing a good job of whatever it was that he was doing, assuming that the goal was to get wherever it was they were going, unnoticed. After a good 10 minutes of evading everyone in sight, Mark pulled Jack down a hallway to the bathrooms.

"Uhhh Mark, why are you we going to the bathrooms?" Jack asked, very much confused.
Mark just laughed his evil laugh again, quietly. At the end of the hall, passed the men's and women's doors, there was a handicapped door. Checking to make sure no one had followed or spotted them, Mark pushed the door open and shoved Jack in before he turned and locked the door behind them.
"Okay... I don't know if I want to know why you just dragged me into here…Mark?" Jack asked, crossing his arms and leaning against the wall. Mark took a few steps towards Jack,
"You're not going to murder me, are you? 'Cuz I kinda got a lot going on right now and I don't have time to be murdered." Jack joked, sort of. Smiling, Mark unexpectedly sat down on the bathroom floor and took the bag off his back, setting it down in front of him. Unzipping it he reached in and pulled out a very unexpected 26-ounce bottle of Irish whiskey. Jack's face lit up and he put his hands on his cheeks,
"Ooooh yay! Wait…what? You can't drink!" he exclaimed.
"Shhhh shut up, we're trying to be sneaky for fuck sakes, and yes I can drink. Today only. Now sit the fuck down and take this shot glass." Mark demanded as he held up a shot glass for Jack. The look on Mark's face made it clear that arguing would be pointless, so Jack took the glass and sat down across from Mark, holding it out as Mark poured a shot.
"So what's the occasion? This is random as fuck, I thought you were gonna kill me." Jack joked as he sucked his teeth and made a perfect whiskey face. Mark returned the expression and shook his head quickly.

"Ughh…that's…" he said and held up a finger, expressing the need for a second to not barf.
Jack laughed,
"Oh gimme a break! Take it like a man fuck!"
"Shut up, it's been a while. Okay, I'm good. Another one will make it better, hold up your glass."
Jack raised an eyebrow and felt like there was a bit more to this adventure that he was yet to discover. They did a few more shots with the usual nonsense banter between them, laughing at each other's faces when downing the whiskey. Jack hadn't eaten all day, Mark hadn't eaten much either so by the time they had done the 6th shot, there were a couple slightly drunk YouTubers sitting and laughing on the handicapped bathroom floor of the Washington State Convention Center. The subject of Septiplier fangirls was always something that cracked them both up, but every time that topic was discussed it was always in the presence of other people. This time it was just the two of them.
"I mean, I get it…sort of…no I don't think I get it. Just why? What is the fetish with these chick's man?" Jack asked drunkenly, leaning against the tiled wall. It was hot as fuck in there, the sweaters had been peeled off and Mark was leaning against the locked door.
"I don't know… well, like…two hot chick's goin' at it is hot. I guess it's the same thing for them."
"Oh well, at least I'm hot then, good to know." Jack smiled and took another shot. Mark said nothing, he just looked down at his empty glass for a minute, then reached for the bottle when Jack put it back down in the middle of the floor. Seeing this, Jack felt a strange awkwardness in the air. He stared at Mark, watching him silently pour his shot without looking up to respond. You know that feeling, when you're in the company of someone you adore, so much that you're afraid to tell them or do anything about it. But there's that feeling, and you know both of you can feel it, and that just makes it worse.
Taking a deep breath, Mark downed his shot then finally looked over at Jack who was silently watching him.
"Ughh this is so weird. It's just so fucking weird, but I gotta say it."
"It's not weird, you're clearly just stunned by my unbearable sexiness," Jack said nonchalantly, even though Mark was trying to be serious, that went straight out the window and he cracked up.
"You already know that I think you're a sexy mother fucker. I mean if I were gay, I would be all over that shit." Jack attempted to joke, but the reality was too clear in his voice. Mark leaned forward off the wall and crawled across the floor to sit in front of Jack. Not unnaturally close, but also a bit closer than expected.
"Mark…what are ya doin?" Jack asked suspiciously, he really wanted to not be excited, but he was fucking it up. His hands got clammy all of the sudden and felt himself taking a deep breath while looking his friend in the eyes.
"See here's the thing Jack…I can't stop staring at you." Mark admitted.
"Wait, what?" Jack replied, putting his hands on the floor and pushing himself back up against the wall he had slowly been sliding down.
"Ya, I know…It's weird. I either want to punch you in the face, or…not…punch you in the face." Mark stuttered as he poured another shot. Then Jack figured it out, what they were doing in the bathroom, why Mark was drinking when he was really not supposed to be, the whole Septiplier thing. He wanted to get up and run out of there, but at the same time, he just couldn't. He needed to know too.
"Maybe it's just one of those things, you know? When like, you meet someone and there's this ridiculous urge…oh God, that sounds so bad, and it's like a one off you know? Fuck…what am I saying? Good God." Jack said then shook his head and put a hand on his forehead, "Is it getting hotter in here or am I just having a stroke?" he asked. Mark smiled, the Jameson still in his hand, he poured yet another shot for the both of them and they downed them in silence.
"You're not having a stroke, its fucking hot in here, and ya I'm about to have a panic attack." Mark agreed.
"So…" Jack offered, first looking away then turning to meet Mark's gaze.
"So…" Mark repeated, staring at Jack. 'There's no point delaying the inevitable, just get the first hard part out of the way.' Jack said to himself. All the Septiplier fangirls had it in their heads that Mark would make the first move in their little fantasies. Well, fuck that noise. He sighed and hung his head for a split second then pushed off the wall and onto his knees, reaching out quickly he grabbed Mark's T-shirt and tugged him forward. He didn't waste a second, he dug his hands into Mark's hair and closed his eyes as he planted his lips on Mark's. Expecting, maybe even hoping a little, that Mark would push him away, he felt his entire body tremble when Mark responded and kissed him back. He didn't just kiss him back to avoid an uncomfortable situation, Mark ran his hands up Jack's chest and felt Jack's hands running through his hair. Their lips parted after a few seconds, but they didn't separate. Both breathing heavily they opened their eyes and looked at each other, only inches apart. Jack smirked and licked Mark's lips. That was when any hope of turning back was lost, when Mark pushed Jack back up against the wall and slammed his body into Jack's as Jack lifted his hands up above his head and Mark grabbed his wrists, pinning him there. He didn't fight it, he loved it. Mark's tongue licking his lips and playing with his own, his hot breath against Jack's neck as he bit him. Jack sighed loudly, a little moan escaping his lips but quickly silenced by Mark's hand slapping over his mouth.

"Shhhhhh…we can't make any noise." He whispered in Jack's ear as he licked it.
"Okay…okay." Jack agreed softly as he brought his hand down from above him and ran it around the back of Mark's head. He pulled his hair and forced him to get down on the floor as he climbed on top. Mark reached up with both hands and pulled at the bottom of Jack's shirt, lifting it up over his head. He tossed the shirt away and let his hands and nails scratch sharply down Jack's chest, making Jack bite his bottom lip and close his eyes for a second. Then Jack let himself fall down on top of Mark, grabbing his hair and again and pulling it back hard, Mark silently moaned and arched his back clearly not opposed to a little pain. His own nails dug into his skin as Mark grabbed Jack's hips and felt his already tight, but now even tighter, skinny jeans pressing again him.
Jack felt Mark's nails break his skin on his hips and he sat up sharply, a coy smile on his face. He looked down at the fresh blood droplets appearing on his skin, nail marks bright red against his pale flesh. Then he looked back down at Mark who was looking rather happy with himself and smiling.

"Opps…" he said sarcastically.
"Oh so that's how you wanna play, alright." Jack responded, leaving only a split second after his last word before he slapped Mark hard across the face, turning his head against the floor. While caught by the surprise Mark felt his shirt being ripped off violently and his belt being unbuckled.
"Ha ha ha ha! No, no, no you're gonna fight me for it Jackaboy." Mark laughed as he quickly and forcefully shoved Jack up and off him. He tried to stand but forgot about the while whiskey thing and stumbled slightly. Jack didn't, the fucking Irish bastard grabbed took the second to gain the upper hand and he slammed Mark back against the cold tile wall.
"I think you're a little drunk Markimoo."
"I don't know what you're talking about…you made my lip bleed." Mark said suggestively as he ran a finger across his lip, looking down at the blood.

"I'll get that for ya." Jack said before he licked Mark's lip again and kissed him overpoweringly. His hands wandering down to Mark's pants again, but before he could slide his hands in Mark bit down hard on Jack's lip making him yell out then quickly stop himself. The two paused for a second to listen if anyone might have heard them, then looked back at each other. The fight continued and by that time Jack's pants were uncomfortably constricting, Mark felt the obvious situation growing against him and he slid his hands down to jack's jeans.
"Not gonna lie, I have a fucking raging boner right now." Jack admitted slyly as he leaned his head forward on Mark's shoulder and bit it gently, trying to catch his breath.
"No shit…" Mark replied sarcastically.
"You gonna do somethin' about that?" Jack asked suggestively.
Mark's right hands plunged into Jack's pants and wrapped around his rock-hard cock, while the other hand flew up and wrapped around Jack's throat.
"What are you gonna do for it?" Mark whispered into Jack's ear, feeling Jack getting even more excited about the rough play.

"Whatever you want," Jack answered, breathing heavily and drenched in sweat, his hands inching through Mark's hair and then pushing his head down. Co-operating, Mark kissed, bit and licked Jack's chest, ribs and abdomen all the way down and finally tugging Jack's jean undone with his teeth. Jack took a deep, shaky breath as he felt his jeans slide down his thighs, Mark's hand was wrapped around the base of his cock and he could feel his hot breath on the tip.
Then like a wave of glory, Mark's lips slid over him, plunging Jack into a world of intense and confusing pleasure. He couldn't have cared less at the moment about the details, he had tried to convince himself enough times that this wasn't something he would enjoy or want to do. But all that was clearly bullshit wishful thinking, now that it was happening it was like a crazy fantasy and he was more turned on by the whole taboo of it than he ever would have thought. The fact that Mark was an apparently a pro when it came to blowjobs was a footnote to be dwelled on for a second or two before grabbing his hair harder and forcing Mark's head down farther on his cock. Somehow he didn't gag on it and kept on giving him more.
"Don't answer me now…but how in the fuck are you doing that…" Jack moaned gently. He felt Mark smile, this too, caused Jack to think too much so he abruptly stopped and gained enough control of himself to open his eyes and look down. This wasn't the best idea, he didn't want to fall victim to overwhelming orgasm too fast. But fuck, Mark had his hair flipped perfectly to one side, one hand pressed against the very base of his cock, thumb on one side and his other fingers digging into his skin. The other hand was venturing around underneath, gently squeezing Jack's balls and his fingers wandering even farther. It was then that Jack knew he would be taking this all the way, fuck it. He wanted it, he wanted all of it. That thought made him quiver and grab Mark's hair, pulling him away.
Mark made an unconscious move to grab Jack's ass and jam the throbbing cock back into his mouth, but Jack pulled him up.
"Why did you make me stop?" Mark whispered between deep kisses.
"You were gonna make me cum." Jack panted.
"Ya, that's the point dumbass."
"No, not like that. Take your fucking pants off." Jack demanded, Mark saw a side of him he had never seen. Raw and vicious, his usually high obnoxious voice had turned into a heated growl and there was a fire in his eyes. Mark did as he was told and kicked his pants off, as soon as he was exposed Jack grabbed his dick like something Mark had stolen from him. Jack's facial expression made Mark break for a minute and laugh as Jack's eye grew wide and he looked down and what was in his hand.
"Holy fuck dude! I thought you were Korean, aren't Asian's supposed to have small dicks?" Jack shouted in shock, then was promptly punched in the face. He didn't let go of Mark, he just squeezed a little harder as he spat blood onto the floor.
"Only half Korean." Mark replied, watching Jack wipe the blood from his lip and cock his head, ready to keep up the fight for whatever it was they were fighting for.
"Stop it, you're driving me insane with all this foreplay." Jack laughed as he wiped his bloody finger down Mark's sweaty chest. Mark grabbed Jack's wrist and twisted it, spinning Jack around and with his other arm he forced Jack's chest against the wall then let go of his wrist and reached around, grabbing Jack's dick and jerking it.
"Ah, fuck…" Jack groaned,
"Shut the fuck up or I'll bite you." Mark demanded, then he bit Jack on the back anyways.
"If I keep yelling will you keep jerking my cock like that?"
"I don't know if that will keep you from yelling in a minute." Mark said suggestively as he let go of Jack and spat on his hand to lube himself up.

"Jack,"
"Mmmm, yeah?"
"Don't scream." Mark said as he slowly and gently slid his hot, wet cock in between Jack's cheeks, finding what it was looking for. Jack's entire body tensed up and he squeezed his eyes shut, pounding his fist against the wall once, twice, on the third Mark grabbed it before it hit the wall and in a single thrust, he plunged himself all the way.
"Ohh fuck!" Jack yelled through Mark's hand and for a minute Mark took it easy, waiting for Jack's body to relax a little before pounding the fuck out of him as intended. It didn't take long before Jack relaxed, then arched his back into it. He reached behind him and grabbed Mark's ass, pulling him in, encouraging him as he felt drops of hot sweat dripping off Mark and down onto his back. The other hand reached down to his own still very hard dick. He was covered in sweat, both his and Mark's, so his hand slid easily across it, up and down, in motion with Mark's thrusts. Mark was having a hard time not yelling himself, with one hand against the wall in front of him, and the other gripping Jack's hip and using it to keep himself stable. He could see how this could be a lifestyle, 'don't knock it to you knock it, literally' he thought as he looked down at the red scratches and bite marks on Jack's back, he imagined he had the same thing happening all over his own body but couldn't be bothered by that at the moment.

He felt a pressure growing behind his cock, he was going to cum in Jack's ass. The thought was oddly less disturbing that he had imagined it to be before, now it was simply sexy as fuck. Jack was waiting for it, he was on the verge of exploding himself but he wanted to wait for Mark to finish first so he could cum on his chest, or in his mouth ideally, but he wasn't gonna push his luck.
"Jack…Jack I'm gonna cum." Mark breathed out heavily, leaning his head down, Jack could feel the ends of Mark's hair on his skin. He dug his nails even harder into Mark. Not even able to believe that this was happening, Mark rammed himself harder into Jack until he couldn't take it anymore and his entire body seized up with the incredible force of the most intense orgasm he had ever had took over.
"Holy Fuck!" Mark yelled before he pulled out and dropped to the floor. Jack didn't waste a second, he had already been holding it back for so long. He spun around quickly and much to his surprise, Mark grabbed his cock and shoved it into his mouth. His hands sliding up Jack's sweaty thighs, Mark could feel him shuddering and knew this wasn't going to take long but he wanted to make it worth it, Jack had just blown his mind in so many bizarrely arousing ways. Mark was right, Jack clenched his fist in Mark's hair and pushed his cock in as far as it could go, he gagged a bit but he didn't pull away. Not after what Jack had allowed, he waited and didn't give a shit anymore about the extremely loud moaning and swearing that Jack couldn't contain anymore. Fuck it.

With a final jerk Jack finally pulled away and fell back against the wall, panting and swallowing air as his naked body slid down the wall. Mark spat on the floor, he could only do so much, swallowing was not one of them. He reached for his shirt, hesitated, then grabbed Jack's shirt instead and wiped his mouth.
"Awww...why?" Jack asked with a laugh, "fuuuuck." He said and put a hand on his forehead, wiping his sweat-drenched hair from his face, then he leaned over to where the whiskey bottle and shot glasses still stood. The least guilty thing in the room, although it had clearly been the enabler…peer pressure from an inanimate object with highly persuasive qualities.
"Yes," Mark said as he slid his shot glass over to Jack.
"Well…that was certainly not what I expected. I mean, I know you said you had a surprise…but fuck. Undersold that one, Jesus. I might die now." Jack said, still trying to catch his breath as he held the shot out for Mark. Grabbing it, the two clinked glasses and Jack winked at Mark before they pounded them back. They both made a lovely whiskey face and were in the middle of laughing at each other when someone pounded on the door.

"Everything okay in there?" A woman's voice asked curiously on the other side of the door.
Jack looked at Mark and quickly held a finger up to his mouth instructing him not to say a word.
"Ya, I just stubbed my toe…Thanks." He answered. Mark looked around, the only thing one could stub a toe on was the toilet and you would have to be pretty retarded to manage that.
"Are you sure? It didn't sound- well, alright. Just checking." The voice replied, then went away. The two sat in silence for a second, Jack turned on the water tap to hide anything that was already far beyond being hidden. They got dressed quickly and quietly, did another shot and stood up to look in the mirror. Both men were struck by what they saw, it looked like they had been in an all-out bar fight. Both had bloody lips, bites and scratches all over their necks and Jack's dark grey T-shirt had a very questionable white smear on its front.
"Aw for fuck sakes. What did you do to me?!" Jack asked with a hopeless smile.
"You?! Look at my hair… I mean, floof the hair for power yeah…but I don't know, this is complete and total anarchy." Mark said as he attempted to make his hair look less like it had just experienced crazed, sweaty sex. There was no hope for it. "Also…I am very drunk." He added.

"Right?" Jack agreed as he turned to Mark and tried to fix his hair for him. He only noticed what he was doing after he caught Mark's eyes staring into his, then he let his hand slide down the back of Mark's head and neck. Back against the wall, Mark kissed him, calmly and gently. They broke apart after a minute and couldn't seem to remember how words worked or which ones would be appropriate to use in this case. Luckily, and adversely unluckily, they were not given the chance as another heavy knock came upon the door.
"What?!" Jack yelled.
"Are you okay, you've been in there an awfully long time." The female voice said again.
"Ya, because I'm busy fuck! I'll come out when I come out, Jesus." Jack replied hotly.
There was no answer.
"You know she's probably gone to get security," Mark said with a raised eyebrow.
"Yup, time to bounce I think. I'll check to make sure no one is out there…with cameras…oh God." Jack sighed as he moved away from Mark and slowly slid the deadbolt in the lock, then he opened the door a crack and peered out.

"If we're gonna get a chance, this is probably it," Jack said as he turned to Mark who was clearly going to have a bit of trouble walking as stealthily as the last time. Jack figured he would have a few issues in that field as well, considering.
"Okay, come on." He said as he pushed the door open and pulled Mark along behind him, they rounded the corner and came face to face with a concerned looking woman. "Jack? Oh my God!" she said excitedly and immediately swooned into full fangirl mode. "Uhh hi! I'm sorry, but I really have to go." He said awkwardly, Mark was hiding drunkenly under his hood and behind Jack, fearing the worst. "Oh…okay…well…" the woman said, and before she said another one-syllable word, Jack put his arm around Mark's shoulder and steered him around the girl.
They darted around much less stealthily as neither had fully figured out how to walk again, and Jack was thoroughly disappointed in the sudden lack of billboards and plants to hide behind. There was nothing for it, they decided to just book it back to the rooms for the creators and call a cab to get the fuck out of there. Unfortunately, for them anyway, this didn't go exactly as planned. They stumbled along and suddenly found themselves in the middle of a signing, and clearly noticed by everyone standing around them, including the person doing the signing. Ethan, another friend of theirs and content creator, looked them up and down and raised an eyebrow.

"Hey look! It's Markiplier and Jacksepticeye he shouted excitedly, drawing more attention to the sweaty disheveled men. Jack cringed and sucked in air through his teeth, looking around at the fans.
"What in the fuck happened to you?" Ethan asked skeptically, not wanting to believe his immediate first thought. Then some lovely lady in the crowd, unseen by all, chose the moment to shout,
"SEPTIPLIER AWAY!"
Ethan burst out laughing, every girl in the vicinity started screaming happily and trying to get a good look.
"YES!" Mark yelled supportively. Then in a wild spur of the moment, complete act of lunacy, he stumbled slightly as he turned and grabbed Jack's collar and planted a very enthusiastic kiss on Jack's lips. Jack's hands went up in a 'Holy fuck I surrender' type gesture, unintentionally kissing Mark back for a split second.
"OH! My…God." Ethan yelled in shock and dropped his pen. In the eyes of the fangirls, the world stopped. Time had been forever frozen and disturbing ships went out to sail away on the sunset horizons of strange fantasies. Mark moved away from Jack with a devious, drunken smile on his face, promptly smacked Jack across the mouth, then grabbed his arm and as they dashed away. When they had reached the back exit he turned, waving to the stunned onlookers he shouted,
"And away we go!"
Jack's laugh was the last thing the silent crowd heard as the two threw the door opened and disappeared.