The Usual Disclaimer: As much as I wish, all the characters mentioned, except for the one I created, belong to Stephenie Meyer!

Hi Guys; This is my first fiction here so be gentle please (:
Reviews are most appreciated!

Full Summary: Bella isn't what you could call a normal teenager. She once had it all: popularity, self-acceptance, & love. When she loses one, she loses it all. Heartbroken, confused, and in pain, she moves to the place she hates to get away from it all. Slowly adjusting to a new life, the memories and the backlashes come back to her. Will a vampire with as much self-loathing as her be the way out of the pain? Will she ever understand her place in the world? Or will it take a confrontation with both her future and her past to bring her back from her jaded state? Find out.

Chapter 1 – This Scene Is Dead

(BPOV)

Turquoise. It was definitely a color I was going to miss in Phoenix. It was the color the cloudless skies as Renee drove us towards the airport. It was the color of my room and the color of the pillow I hugged to sleep. Most importantly it was the color of his eyes. No! I thought to myself. I am not going to think about that right now. Today was the day I was leaving for Forks, a.k.a. : the bane of my existence. Forks was everything Phoenix wasn't. It was so small no one could have a moment of privacy, not to mention it is ALWAYS raining. I was sure sunshine was a myth to the residents. But Forks was where my father Charlie lived, and right now it was the only choice I had left. Today I wore my favorite white lace tanktop and light jeans, tribute to the place that I was now leaving. In my hands was my parka.

In my trance of looking out the window, I almost didn't notice Renee's hand grabbing mine. I turned my face to her, hearing the words I had been expecting since we got into the car:"Izzy, you don't have to do this! Phil and I want you here, don't you believe me?", she cried out, her voice cracking slightly at the last part. I flinched painfully at the nickname. Once a term of endearment, it now felt like scratching their long nails against a chalkboard for me. He was the one who first started calling me that, after all.

"Mom, it's Bella now," I reminded her patiently. "and of course I believe you! I want to go now." I lied through my teeth. How could I want to leave my mom, the best friend I had ever had, the only person who understood me perfectly, to a place I could not stand? The truth was, I had to. Renee had Phil now to take care of her, and the memories I had here were getting painful. I knew through my lies, she could see it too. I held her hand the rest of the car ride.

Within what felt like too soon, we had reached the airport. I got my suitcases checked in and looked at the security checkpoint like it was the gateway to Hell. I gave Renee a hug using all the strength I had within me. "I love you, don't forget that" I whispered fiercely, feeling the sobs starting to come out. I went on board and then she was gone.

The flight was fairly short and in no time I realized, I would soon be at Forks. I spent the flight listening to my personal CD player and reading a book of poetry I had stolen from my high school's library. What? It wasn't like anyone was using the poetry section for a good read. No, that aisle had its own reputation as prime make-out realty. I however fully appreciated John Donne's Holy Sonnets. It's probably why people thought you were weird, I thought bitterly. In Phoenix I was the residential freak. I just never related to people my age, well people in general. If people ever noticed me, it was to tell me what a waste of space I was. That was only after he left though. I was a different person when I was with him. People thought I was pretty. I was always laughing and carefree and people liked and want to be around me. Or so I thought...When he left, I realized people only liked me because of him. I was worthless.

THAT IS IT! I did not leave Phoenix only to recreate it here! I am starting a new chapter in my life and I am going to be different. I, Isabella Marie Swan, am not going to be the old happy go lucky Izzy Swan, I shuddered at the thought, but the new cool sophisticated Bella Swan I know I can be!

Yeah right... the voice in my head I hated croaked. If you could have ever actually done something right, he might have never left in the first place. The only reason you're so adamant to change is in hopes he'd come back. Don't hope, because he's never coming back. You're too ugly, too stupid, too flawed, for him.

The voice won. I knew it was right. Who was I to think I could ever be what someone wants? I lowered my head, embarrassed at myself. I was at Forks now and I walked out of the airport only to meet the pouring rain. This is what an omen feels like.

"Bella!" a familiar hoarse voice called out my name. It was Charlie and surprisingly his voice gave me comfortable warmth. I was glad he remembered to call me by my new nickname. I would only see him during the summer and I was happy to know how genuinely pleased he was to have me here. There is someone in the world that wants me.

He came up to me and gave me his usual one-armed hug. "How've you been kid?" he asked in his gruff tone, his face showing the pleasure behind it.

"Alive and kicking" I replied slightly sarcastically, allowing him to see one of the small smiles so he would know. He took my bags into his police cruiser, and I placed myself in the passenger seat. The air hung heavily with an awkward silence as he drove back.

"So you play?" he asked casually, pointing to the guitar case residing between my legs since I would not let it out of my sight.

"Yep…" I murmured quietly, giving my case a loving glance. Music was my life. Besides books and art, music gave me a solace no arms could offer. I would be eternally grateful for the music lessons Renee made me take as a child. I could now manage to play any instrument fairly well.

We arrived at the house in less than an hour. I all but ran to my room with my things, and jumped on my bed. I inhaled the scent and was grateful that it was the same. In fact the room had not changed at all except for the new phone line Charlie must have installed for talking to Renee with. I quietly unpacked my things and at last had given myself to the jet lag and even allowing a few unshed tears to be released.

Tomorrow was going to be my first day at Forks High. Oh joy. I closed my heavy eyelids and dreamt of turquoise. How I wish everything would just go black.

Everything's being corrected and re-updated (:
Playlist is still up; We Are Scientists- This Scene Is Dead