Reflections, Realisations and Regrets

Chapter 1: In the Beginning Part 1

There was family and friends, joy and love, acceptance and loyalty, community and closeness, for ten years all was right with the world and everything in it. Now I'm nothing, lost, filled with confusion, fear, loathing, trying to understand what happened, where it all went wrong.

I was five summers old when my magical ability presented itself, I managed to burn down part of a barn belonging to Tom Bentley and his family in Rainsfere. We left soon after heading north past Lake Calenhad before settling in the Teyrnir of Highever. Our home was inside the city limits not far from my parents rented shop on the main street. After years of travelling from the Anderfels, hoarding and saving, we had enough money to settle down and enjoy life, we being my father who was a carpenter, and my mother, brother and sister who all had abilities like me. As it was not so long since the end of the rebellion people needed healing both spiritually and physically. Mother Mallol of the Chantry took care of the spiritual side and my mother the physical. There was no Chantry building and no templar presence in Highever at that time, all Chantry services were conducted at the Castle. Mother Mallol and my mother became firm friends over the years. This bond had been forged as a result of my mother saving the life of Teyrna Eleanor Cousland whilst giving birth to her second child, Aidan. In the years that followed, the Teyrnir the people of Highever prospered, and they protected us.

Naturally, as is the way of the world, such things do not last. Whilst my brother and sister developed their magical ability in the relative safety and shelter of Highever, others came to the city who were not so prepared to believe in the rights of those with magical abilities. As a result our training in magic was conducted secretly, and we were not allowed to use our magic outside our classroom and training area; the cellar. Mother was always approached for her services via a trusted intermediary and if some "unknown" came for her it was vehemently denied that we knew of whom they spoke. Such suspicions grew as the years passed and eventually a Chantry was built in the city and Mother Mallol was relegated to tending to those in the Keep and Revered Mother Judith came to reside in the City with a contingent of templars. Thus began the time of suspicion and fear for my family.

During my fifteeth year my world tilted and what I knew came to an abrupt end. We had heard of the Mage Hunters, Templars who specialised in hunting down apostates either killing them outright or sending them to the Magi Towers either here in Fereldan or further away in Orlais, Kirkwall or Starkhaven. Two families known to us were brutally slain and the children in question were whisked away in the dead of night to parts unknown and the dead burnt within their homes. My mother became fearful and we rarely ventured outside the city without adult supervision and at times, due to the number of templars inside the city walls, we rarely left the house or shop. We were, of course, trained in masking our powers. Brina and I took after our mother as spirit healers, while Brett was more talented in the elemental magics and found healing difficult, at times nigh on impossible although he did have an aptitude for alchemy. My father adored us all and taught Brett and I to work with wood. Mother taught us cooking and other skills. "After all," they both said, "we would have to fend for ourselves some day."

As a young man, our family friends knew our secret and never uttered a word to anyone outside our circle. Talia lived on a small farm outside the city. When her father and eldest brother met with bandits on the road, the family called upon mother, as things were grim and they would not last without healing. Mother asked Brett and I to accompany her, leaving Brina with our father to run the shop whilst we were gone. The outward journey was clear of incident and we arrived at the farm before sundown and mother and I began working on the injured. We were lost in our work, nothing interrupted our focus. Our ability to commune with the spirits in the Fade assisted our healing, it took concentration and a great deal of power to control. Brett was occupying the younger children with a magic show of summer snowflakes and thus had no idea that danger was fast approaching.

As morning came, templars, on the road to Highever passed the farm and sensed the use of magic. There were half a dozen or more and whether they were returning from the hunt or just reinforcements for the City I will never know, but they arrived before we could do anything to protect ourselves. Brett burst into the room where mother and I were working. The family was doing their best to shield us and in that moment I knew what needed to be done. Mother and Brett were ushered into the root cellar hidden by furniture and rugs, and I went outside to meet those who would harm my family and friends. I was never more frightened, knowing that I could be cut down just for confessing to having magic at my disposal.

I guess I was lucky that Ser Bran and Ser Percy of the Mages Tower at Kinloch Hold were riding with them. As templars from the tower they were more used to dealing with young mages as they first arrived, knew how to handle their fear and mistrust. They had a natural ability to diffuse threatening behaviour from their hunter colleagues. If they had not been there, I dread to imagine what could have taken place. I went outside just as the hunters were beginning to pressure Talia and her Mother about the presence of magic within the house.

"Sers, I believe I'm the one you're looking for." I said. I held my head high as I looked at them refusing to show my fear.

"You. You're the one using magic?" said one of the templars, "How old are ya lad?"

"Fifteen summers." I replied. "The men inside are mostly healed, with poultices and care, they will recover fully given time."

"Who are ya boy, where're your parents?" asked another templar.

I paused for a moment before deciding to use the nickname given to me by my friends in an effort to draw the danger away from my family totally.

"I'm called Anders, my parents died on the road, Ser. I've been living in the wilds and heard that there were people in need of healing magic. I came to see what I could do."

"I'm sorry lad, but you'll have to come with us. What you have done for these people is a good and decent thing, but you can't be allowed to stay on your own without protection and training." said the templar I later found out to be Ser Bran. "You'll have to come with us."

I bowed my head knowing if I argued or tried to run the consequences would be bad for both myself and those around me. I made my decision, gave myself up and hoped that they believed that one person could do what had been done, and that they would not search for others.

"Very well Ser," I replied, "I'll come with you, but I ask one thing."

"Yes boy." said Ser Bran.

"Where will you be taking me?" I asked.

"Kinloch Hold, boy, the Tower of Magi in Fereldan. You'll receive an education and training like no other. Your magic will serve others and you'll have others around you that are like you." came the reply.

Like that, the deed was done. My hands were chained using metal cuffs set with runes which effectively dissipated my magical abilities. I was then put into the back of a covered wagon and we immediately left Highever. Not once did I look back, not once did I let them know that there were others in the house that were like me. I did not cry for what I lost. Not then. Not ever.