His crazy little charge had gone missing. Missing, gorammit. And it weren't like she was easy to find or anything, given all the nooks and crannies Serenity had, many of which River herself had discovered when she was trying to hide from the 'hands of blue.' Feng le girl. And Feng le Mal for putting Jayne in charge of her. The girl was eighteen ruttin' years old; she didn't need no babysitter! Weren't fair that he was supposed to watch a grown girl like she was an infant, and it would be his ass on the chopping block if she used her admittedly superior intelligence to escape him.
Grumbling under his breath, Jayne slid the grate back into place and stepped away from the smuggling panels hidden in the loading bay of Serenity. He'd already checked the girl's room, all the common areas of the ship, the bridge, the vents, and several of the dark corners he knew she habitually slunk into. Still, no sign of the little brat. There would be words when he found her. Loud words. Maybe even some shoulder shaking so long as she wasn't armed or nothing.
Swearing, Jayne figured he might as well take a look outside, thinking that maybe she'd wanted a breath of fresh air. Or some sun. Gorram, but the girl needed it; she was awful pasty. Muttering all the while, Jayne opened the hatch to Serenity and stepped outside, lifting a hand to shield his eyes from the harsh light. "Moonbrain! You out here?" he shouted, and he heard a sigh from above him.
"On top of the mother," came her typical convoluted gibberish, and Jayne scowled.
"Well git down!" he hollered, turning to face Serenity and catching a glimpse of River's bare foot and calf stretched out on the top of the ship. The owner of that foot, however, was suspiciously silent. "Crazy!" he shouted, and waited for several moments. Still no response. "I'll… I'll give you to the count of three!" he added, feeling completely out of his element. An amused snort reached his ears, and he scowled.
"One… two… Aw, hell," he grumbled, deciding it would be much easier just to climb up Serenity's side, throw the girl over his shoulder, and drag her back inside the ship. It was damn hot, and he wasn't about to sit and sweat so some silly little girl could play her games. Cursing under his breath, he scaled to the top of Serenity, and looked down at River, his features set into an angry frown.
A frown that soon morphed into wide eyes and a dropped jaw.
River Tam, the little crazy girl, was stretched out on the top of Serenity without a stitch of clothing on. She'd gotten some color, the usual chalky ivory of her skin still pale but warmer, healthier looking. And she wasn't nearly half as little as he'd thought of her. Gorram sacks she'd been wearing had covered more than he'd figured. Her breasts were small but perfectly shaped, dusky pink nipples straining up towards the sky, her belly taught but soft, her legs long and lean, the junction of her thighs shaved smooth. Oh, this was one image he would definitely be remembering in his bunk…
"He has reached the count of three. Is he going to spank the girl?" the naked little crazy asked, her lips quirked in amusement, her eyes closed as she relished the feeling of the sun. Jayne's mouth went dry at her words, and he flicked his gaze over her bare body. He'd like to spank it alright, among other things… which was slightly disconcerting given the fact that the girl wasn't exactly all there. Thinking about giving that pretty little rear of hers a squeeze and a slap was sure to book him a one-way ticket to the Shepherd's special hell.
"What the ruttin' hell do you think you're doing?" he exclaimed rather than answering her snarky question, and the girl sighed in response, the action making her breasts rise up and fixating his attention onto them again.
"Basking," she replied simply, and Jayne swallowed hard when she shifted and he caught a glimpse of the little slit between her thighs. The special hell, he firmly reminded himself, wrenching his gaze away from the shamelessly bare girl. Glancing around, he caught sight of her dress close beside her. In a quick, jerky movement, he tossed it onto her stomach, prompting her to push herself up on her elbows and toss an annoyed look in his direction.
The shape of her breasts changed slightly at the movement, and it took every ounce of self control Jayne possessed to keep his gaze on her face. "Bask with some clothes on," he grumbled, pointing at her dress. She gave a long suffering sigh, and gave him the same look she gave Simon when the doc was being especially stupid or annoying.
"Imperfection. The color must be evenly distributed. Lines are not acceptable. Bare skin required," she replied with a roll of her eyes, tossing the dress to her side and laying back town again, shifting a little to get comfortable.
"You can't lay out here naked!" Jayne sputtered indignantly, and River sighed again.
"He worries a man will see her and hurt her. He forgets she can kill with her mind, that she can cause death by spoon in six ways. She can protect herself," River replied, and Jayne swallowed hard, pointedly looking away from her… but he couldn't help what his peripherals saw, and it was a mighty nice if sinful view.
"I ain't worried. It just… it ain't right," he grumbled, crossing his arms over his chest. For a moment, he considered shoving her dress over her head and dragging her back in doors, but that to thoughts of dragging her down to his bunk and ripping the dress off again, filling his hands with her pert little breasts… Gorammit.
"Your discomfort is sexual, not moral, in nature. You were ordered to watch the girl, and are aroused by the girl's nakedness. You think of the girl as a child and thus are ashamed to be aroused," she observed, lifting her arms over her head and stretching like a cat. "But the girl is not a child. You do not need to feel ashamed about wanting to touch her. She has thought of touching you," she continued, and Jayne swallowed even as John Thomas twitched.
"Damn girl, you can't go sayin' things like that. 'Specially when you're naked. Dong ma?"
"Shouldn't, but can," she replied, the quirk of her lips widening into a smile. She propped herself up on her elbows again, her eyes narrowing a little. "Captain Daddy will be arriving in 2.7 minutes. Basking must come to an end," she muttered, reaching for her dress and slipping it over her head. Jayne let out a sigh of relief when all that creamy skin was hidden again, although he couldn't quite stop his mind from dwelling on the fact that there were no undergarments beneath the baggy pink thing. All he'd have to do was lift the fabric up a little and… Special hell, he reminded himself firmly again, and River's lips quirked as she shoved her feet into her clunky combat boots.
Jayne let her go down the ladder first, not wanting to subject himself to the tantalizing, forbidden view of the girl's naked backside up her loose fitting dress, and when he reached the bottom, she gripped the front of his shirt and stepped close to him, so close that he could feel her head against his skin, her breath against his neck. "Wha-"
"You can touch her. She won't mind," she murmured softly, almost shyly, as she peeked up at him through her lashes, and Jayne's mouth went dry. At that exact moment, the rumble of the mule announced the crew's presence, and River slipped away from him to greet the others, giving him a meaningful glance over her shoulder as she went.
When Mal waved to him, he waved back, suddenly grateful for how baggy his cargos were. His gaze was drawn back to River, and he found himself imagining the bare skin beneath her dress as she moved, imagined marking those places that he had seen only moments before. He let out a long suffering sigh and shook his head, attempting to banish the thoughts and quell the arousal before it was noticed by the crew. He was definitely going to the special ruttin' hell.