Anna Smith was always so very little.
She arrived six weeks early, in the kitchen of her grandparent's farmhouse, so tiny that she fit perfectly in the palm of her father's hand. To hear her father tell it, she was so small she could fit into his pocket, like a good luck charm. She could remember far-fetched tales of being tucked away into dresser drawers at night because her parents could not afford a real bed for her. Or maybe they weren't so far-fetched. Her mother and father were poor as church mice and really in no position to care for a babe. They weren't even secure enough to take care of themselves, and when the influenza struck their household Anna's father was too malnourished to fight it. He passed away in the night, murmuring about the baby in his pocket.
Anna had never felt smaller.
For a year or two her mother tried to make it on her own. She sewed and baked and cleaned...doing everything she could to pay the rent and keep her daughter in decent school clothes. Anna's mother was never afforded an education, but she was determined that Anna would have one. Anna would rather have stayed at home and helped. Learning was fun and Anna was always willing to give her best and behave as well as she could, but she was half the size of the other children and they never let her forget it.
"But they call me Little Bit!" Anna protested as her mother tugged at the buttons of her coat. This was their daily ritual, Anna standing as still as a stone while her mother struggled to find ways to make her clothes look like they fit. Anna never made it easy.
"I know they do, and I know you don't like to hear it, but people are going to tease you about being small, just like some children get teased for being big." Ignoring her daughter's pouting face, Anna's mother gathered material here and there, tying up what she could and making plans to hem up the rest later, as if she would ever have the time. "The point is, everyone gets teased at some time or another. But it doesn't have to make you miserable. Just ignore it, and sooner or later they'll stop. The only reason they're still doing it is because your little face turns red and you start huffing."
As if on cue, Anna huffed, her young mind certain of the fact that her mother was wrong, was always wrong, and was always going to be wrong. Less than a year later, Anna's mother made a choice that proved Anna right.
She got re-married.
Anna's new step-father was friendly enough, buying her candies sometimes on the way home from work, making her new toys when hers broke, and even sometimes bringing home material for her mother to make her pretty new dresses. It seemed as though things were looking up, and Anna was ready to make the best of it. And then, one day, Anna's mother announced that she was expecting.
"Expecting what?" Anna asked, barely looking up from her primer. She was a slow reader, and could barely finish the chapters she was expected to read before bedtime.
Anna's mother giggled, finally drawing Anna's attention. Her mother never giggled.
"A baby! You're going to be a big sister!" Anna's mother beamed, and her step-father beamed right along with her. Anna didn't know what to think. She had been the only child for so long that the idea of a sibling was a bit daunting. Frowning, she turned back to her primer and pretended to read.
"I think this is the best she can do by way of a protest." Large hands massaged her shoulders lightly. "Anna, I know it's been just the three of us for a while now, and you don't want that to change, but I promise you that you'll still be our special girl. Nothing will ever change that." Anna's eyes burned with unshed tears as her step-father lifted her into his lap. "There, there," he crooned, smoothing down her hair. "Everything is going to be fine."
He lied.
The new baby came, and with him came all the worry and stress of a household that just inherited one more mouth to feed. Anna's old clothes were ripped and sewn and re-made into clothing that no longer resembled dresses for a little girl, but rather shirts for a baby boy. The already meager portions of food served up each night grew even smaller as the child grew, though Anna hardly noticed. It never took much to fill her belly, and she took to sneaking bits of her share to her brother.
One thing Anna did notice was the change in her parents. Her mother developed a sickness of the lungs, forcing her to cut back on the odd jobs she performed that kept the pantry stocked, and any small amount of money that she did bring in was quickly pocketed by Anna's step-father. Anna's mother might have been too sick to understand or even care what her husband spent their money on, but Anna understood perfectly. She could smell it on his breath every time he bent to kiss her cheek, something he did quite often since the birth of her brother.
Whiskey would never be her drink of choice.
The end of Anna's childhood crept up like a thief in the night, though she probably should have seen it coming. The touches… the seemingly innocent kisses pressed to her forehead before bedtime… the looks…
The looks alone gave her nightmares for years.
He watched her one night, watched her while she set the table and ladled out the stew just like she had seen her mother do a hundred times. Anna squirmed under his gaze, furtively glancing at the bedroom where her mother lay, seven months pregnant and too tired to move from her side of the bed. The door never opened.
"I'm so very proud of you, Anna," her step-father slurred from his spot at the head of the table, "taking up right where your mother left off, lazy wench."
Anna flushed, indignant for her mother, who would probably lose her life giving this man another child, but kept her mouth shut. Nothing good ever came from opening one's mouth in anger. Her mother taught her that.
"Pretty soon you might have to take over all of her duties…"
Right then, Anna knew that things were about to change for her, and not for the better. Ducking away from the table and into the tiny kitchen, she washed up what she could, and scouted the drawers for the one thing she knew she was not supposed to touch. Finding it, she tested its weight in her hand and choked back a sob, praying she wouldn't have to use it.
Feigning sleep was easy that night. Every nerve in Anna's body was alive and alert, waiting for the inevitable. She was almost relieved when the moment came, when the covers were flung away from her body and her nightgown was inched up her body until the pink of her thighs gleamed in the moonlight and the blood from her step-father's arm flowed freely as he screamed bloody murder. In fact, she was somewhat giddy when the police came, questioning the entire family as if they weren't sure who to blame for the incident. Anna didn't care who took the blame. She could shoulder it all if need be.
She might have been only four-foot-six, but she had the strength of a giant.
a/n:
Hey guys! This is my first Banna and I'm so excited! I hope ya'll enjoy it! I have to tell ya'll that it'll be a couple of chapters before our Mr. Bates makes an appearance, but please believe that he is on his way!
Disclaimer: I own nothing.