One less lonely squid
First fan fiction. No flaming, I have swag.
The solemn, lone squid was roaming the azure ocean. The dull ache in his heart could only be mended by...him. It was Squidward's day off from the Krusty Krab so had decided to take a stroll in Jellyfish Fields. Now the Krustry Krab had evolved significantly from the good old days. It was discovered that krabby patties were made of seahorse meat so Eugene Krabs was forced to reform his restaurant into a brothel. Two of several of the new mottos include 'Come to Krusty to get Krabs' and 'Now serving a differenet kind of Patty'. Squidward either faced unemployment, starvation, the death penalty, and scabies unless he took up an occupation as a salaciously indecent worker. Squidward detested this and worst of all was his co -worker 'Spongebob NoPants'. He too had changed as the restaurant.
As Squidward reflected on his life, tears formed in his eyes as reality struck him like Pearl falling through the ceiling. His life promised no hope, no happiness, no...him. Squidward continued to walk, although this often proved a difficult task due to his large bossoms.
'Surprise', said the manly voice. Squidward slowly turned around, holding his gills. It was...Squidgy. His tense, muscley tentacles squirmed around like sexy spaghetti. Squidgy was Squidward's long term boyfriend, the only thing keeping him sane. His squiddish voice spoke again.
'Squidward, I've missed you. I was away in Atlantis with Neptune but i'm back'
Squidward whimpered, his nose flapping up and down like a turd from the snivelling he but managed to say,
'Squidgy, you have hurt me too much. I can not be with you any longer.'
'B-but, you put the ten in tentacles. We belong together.'
Squidward soiled himself.
'Squidgy, listen to me, you left without telling me. You suck barnacles. I will always love you but you have now broken me beyond repair. Just leave me be, if you love me.'
Squidgy's face crumpled up like toilet paper about to be used to clean up what was once Mexican food. He could not speak. Mostly because his mouth had spontaneously evaporated but also because he was crying so much, it looked like GooLagoon. He uttered,
'I will always love you, Squiddy-pops'.
He then tensed his hench muscles and started break dancing.
Squidward could not contain his sandness. He felt as I he were in Davey Jones' locker. With every fleeting heart beat, it pained Squidward. The emotional pain was so overwhelming that Squidward could not even walk. So he sat, in jellyfish fields evaluating his pathetic life. What had he to live for? Several hours passed where Squidward sat and wheeped. But then, he came to a conclusion. Slowly, summoning just enough energy in has pathetic body, Squiward crawled. He crawled, tears still pouring until he reached his desired destination. Finally, he took a great breath and jumped. Jumped off a cliff. And that was the tale of Squidward Tentacles.