Disclaimer: I own nothing, everyone and everything belongs to almighty god
JOSS WHEDON!! Don't sue.
Setting: Early season 2
Dedications: To Mina Harker, my Beta Reader and who gave me the inspiration for this story.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Xander walked through the Bronze, he spotted Buffy and Willow and ran over, "hey guys, how's it goin' with the studying?" Buffy looked up,
"I will fail, plus now I've got this new vamp to deal with, says he's gonna kill me this Saturday, why's Sat so special?" Xander paused, knowing the reason, he smiled,
"Night of St. Vigious, evil vamp leader, not good, who was it, a local?"
"No, seemed out of town, knew I was the Slayer, seemed prepared, not bad looking." Willow nodded,
"yeah, deep ice blue eyes, bleach blonde hair, british accent, real cute." Xander frowned, deep in thought, he took a sip of water,
"did he look like Billy Idol?" Buffy nodded,
"yeah, that's it, didn't get a name though." Xander put the water and grabbed Angel's arm as the souled vampire approached,
"we need to talk, important, follow me." They weaved through the crowd and Angel faced Xander, Xander stopped walking and faced Angel, tears in his eyes, "Spike's back."
*************************************************Flashback- 1958****************************************************
Xander walked the crowded streets of Los Angeles, he smiled at the man beside him, clutching his hand and never wandering too far from his sight. The man pulled him back, "not too far, luv." Xander nodded,
"okay Spike, I'm just hungry." Spike smiled,
"I know, me too, but don't forget, the Slayer." Angel shook his head,
"Spike, I've never seen you this concerned about the Slayer before, why?" Spike let Xander's hand go as Xander followed a young woman,
"stay close!" Xander nodded and Spike faced Angel, "him, I-I love Xan, ever since I saw that vamp feeding on the poor boy." Angel smiled,
"hey, it's okay, caring for a Childe, I get that, just don't break his heart." Spike smiled as Xander walked back over wiping his mouth, he nodded,
"don't worry, Sire, I won't, he knows, don't you Alex." Xander nodded and snuggled close to Spike,
"tired." Spike looked at the clock,
"come on, it's nearly sunrise, we've all fed."
Walking back into their apartment Xander ran into his and Spike's room, Spike locked the door and Angel pulled out a flask of blood from the fridge. Ever since he had gotten his soul back he hadn't fed off a human but he still remained with Spike and Spike's newest Childe, Xander Lavelle. Spike had caught a good for nothing vampire feeding off Xander, knowing it was too late to get him to a hosptial he turned Xander, the two had become inseperable since. They both loved each other, Spike loved Xander more so because of his bond to Xander and his need to care for the twenty year old. Xander walked back into the living room, changed into black pajamas, he smiled, "coming?" Spike nodded,
"in a minute, I promise." Xander walked back into the room and Spike smiled to Angel, "sleep well, Sire." He walked into the room and shut the blinds, pulling off his deep green shirt he toed off his shoes and crawled in next to Xander. Xander snuggled close to Spike and Spike wrapped a protective arm around Xander's waist and kissed his forehead. Xander looked up at Spike,
"will you always be with me?" Spike nodded,
"always and forever Alex, I promise, now sleep."
**************************************************************************** ********************************************
That one promise Spike didn't keep, two years later he left and broke Xander's heart, Xander hadn't heard from him since, he felt him near every once and a while, but nothing more. So Xander and Angel moved around and finally settled in Sunnydale, in 1996 Xander met Willow and they became friends strangely enough, Angel had found the fabled Gem of Amarra and given it Xander, soon after Xander met Buffy and they became friends as well. Everyone knew of Angel's identity as a vampire, but not Xander's, they thought Xander and Angel were half brother with different fathers. Angel sighed, "oh Xan, I'm sorry, I know how much Spike meant to you." Xander shook his head,
"no you don't, you can't know, I loved him so much, we were perfect, Sire and Childe, and we were so much in love, then he left me, you can't know what I'm feeling, there's no way, give me the keys, I'm going home."
Willow looked up as Xander walked into the library, "you left in a hurry last night, what happened?"
"Wasn't feeling well, sorry." Willow smiled and waved a hand,
"it's okay, no biggie." Xander slid into a chair,
"I didn't sleep much last night, bad dreams." Willow patted his back,
"there, there, it's okay Alex." Xander stood up,
"never call me that, never!" He sighed, "sorry Wills, just, a really, really close friend of mine used to call me that, then they left." Willow frowned and looked down,
"oh Xan, sorry, I shouldn't have done that, I'm so stupid." Buffy walked in,
"I found some info on our new friend, name's Spike, he's killed two Slayers int he past, we're in trouble, big, big, heaps of trouble."
Xander walked through the cemetary, his unlife sucked, he missed Spike, the last two years they had together were amazing, they did everything together. Xander missed everything about him, his small smirk, his soft and gentle voice, his accent, how protective he was, how much he loved him, the feel of their skin against the other's, how he tasted, how he smelt, Spike was perfect. Why did he have to leave? Xander sighed and whirled around at the feeling of a presence behind him, well speak of the devil. Lowering the stake he snorted, "oh, it's only you, though it might have been a vamp worth staking." Spike looked so hurt,
"Xan I can explain."
"No need, I caught the drift when you ripped my heart out and left."
"Alex wait-" Xander whirled around,
"DON'T EVEN THINK ABOUT ALEXING ME, ALMOST FIFTY DAMN YEARS, I LOVED YOU, DON'T THINK YOU CAN JUST PRANCE BACK HERE AND I'LL ACCEPT YOU, NOT LIKELY, I HATE YOU, I DON'T WANT TO SEE YOU, YOU KILLED ME, THAT DAY YOU LEFT, I DIED, IT HURT SO BAD, I SPENT YEARS GETTING OVER YOU, WHEN I'M FINALLY OVER YOU, YOU POP BACK UP AGAIN, I HATE YOU!" Xander shoved past Spike and Spike grabbed his arm, he whirled around, "get bent Spike." With that he was gone, leaving both of them in pain.
Xander wiped his eyes as he ran from the cemetary, he needed blood, badly. Grabbing some unlucky soul he dragged them into an alley and bit down, draining their blood he walked back out and he heard Willow's voice. Turning around he smiled at the red head, "hey Wills." She slowed, "you okay Xan?" "Life sucks." "I know, come on." She gave him a hug and he smiled, "thanks, I'd better get going, I have an algebra test tomorrow and Angel's quiz me." "He's a great brother." "Yeah he is." "Well, see ya!" He walked off, headed towards his and Angel's apartment, Spike shook his head from his watching spot and took off in the direction of his house.
Xander sat in the library after school doing homework, work he had done ages ago, but did to belong. The sun was setting rapidly and Willow looked over from her laptop, "still glum?"
"Yeah." She smiled and pulled out a brown paper bag and Xander looked puzzled, then opened it, he smiled, "Mr. Mallows!" He pulled one out and ripped the package open, breaking off a piece of the marshmallow and chocolate coated cookie he offered it to Willow who grabbed it and chewed,
"these are awsome, I remember you used to hate them."
"Yeah, I though marshmallows were too squishy." Buffy ripped a large piece of the Mr Mallow and swallowed,
"too squishy, never." She plunked a book down, "found that book for ya Xand." He picked it up,
"thanks Buff, see you later." He kissed her cheek, "life saving Slayer."
"What I'm here for."
Xander threw his keys on the table, "Angel?" The brunette looked up from his book,
"nice day?"
"I got that book I wanted from Buff."
"Good." Xander picked up a bottle of water, Angel turned a page in his book, "I saw Spike today." Xander dropped the bottle and it smashed on the floor,
"you did, what did he say?" Angel looked up,
"that he missed you." Xander started mopping up the spill,
"yeah well, he can forget it, he hurt me real bad, I don't care."
"He said he was sorry and that he still loved you." Xander stood,
"good, now he can suffer." Angel stood,
"Xander, he explained everything to me." Xander threw the paper towels away,
"save it, I don't give a damn, I'm meeting Buff and Wills in twenty minutes, want to come?"
"No, go ahead."
Xander tapped his pencil against the book and Willow sighed, "bored."
"Do I have to justify that with an answer." Willow smiled,
"that much huh." Xander nodded, he added a few lines to his sketch and looked at it, sighing he ripped it out of the book and crumpled up the sketch of Spike. Why couldn't he stop thinking about him, stupid blonde tempter, Spike haunted his dreams and his very life, well, unlife. He growled in frustration and slammed his hands on the table,
"I've had it!" Willow looked over,
"Xan?" Before Xander could react there was am all too familiar british voice behind him,
"fancy meeting you here, with the Slayer." Angel stood,
"Spike."
"Not you Sire, the other." Xander stood,
"piss off Spike."
Willow, Buffy and Giles looked at him in confusion and Spike leaned against the counter, "no hug, I missed you, a lot." Xander shed his jacket,
"Spike, I've had it, you've pissed me off for the last time." Buffy looked at Xander and Angel put a hand on his shoulder,
"not now, this isn't the place." Xander jerked and looked at Angel,
"I can do this."
"Xan, listen to your brother." Spike snickered,
"brother, that's rich, you never told them did you?" Xander motioned Spike to him,
"shut up, come on Spike, let's dance." Spike lunged forward and Xander dropped and swept Spike's legs out, but Spike leapt to aviod being on the ground, Xander kicked up and Spike stumbled back,
"picked up a few moves have you?" Xander looked at Willow,
"sorry Wills, this secret just never got out." There was a pause and Xander let out a soft growl, turning back to Spike he fully vamped and growled.
Willow faced Angel, "did you, stupid question, why's Xan so pissed at Spike?" Angel looked down,
"way back when Xander first got turned, fifty years ago, he and Spike were inseperable, Sire and Childe have a strong bond, even stronger when they're in love." Willow faced Xander once more,
"so, Spike turned Xan, but they were in love, I'm guessing, dating, type thing."
"Sort of, anyways, what happened was, they were so in love, everything was perfect, then two years later Spike ups and leaves, no reason, he just leaves and never comes back. Hence the anger." Willow nodded and watched as Xander kicked Spike in the stomach,
"fifty years, fifty, no letter, no phone call, nothing, it hurt so bad, then you come back and expect me to take you back?!"
Spike backhanded Xander, "let me explain!" Xander sat on Spike's chest,
"fine." Spike sighed,
"well, a week before I left I started getting letters, threatening notes, saying that if I didn't leave someone would kill off my family, starting with you. I couldn't let that happen, so I decided to leave, I tried to contact you, I swear to what ever I'm supposed to worship, I did, whenever I came close I backed out, I couldn't face you. I couldn't do it, I couldn't think of what to say or how to say it. I'm telling you the truth, I left to protect you, it killed me, each day was hell, I found myself thinking about you. Finally I gathered my courage and came down here, I was joking about what I said to the Slayer, I was just looking for you, when I found you what you said really hurt me. " Xander shifted back to his human face and stood,
"I need to talk to you, come on, be right back guys."
Xander walked into the hall and faced Spike with teared eyes, "you really hurt me, real bad, I missed you so much, I'm sorry, I didn't mean what I said, I was just pissed."
"I'm sorry too, I should have told you, I'm so sorry, are you mad at me?" Xander wiped his eyes,
"you're my Sire, I could never hold a grudge, but you owe me." Spike wiped a lone tear off Xander's cheek,
"for what." Xander smiled,
"fourty years of missing kisses and snuggles." Spike kissed his forehead,
"I promise Alex." Xander wrapped his arms around Spike and Spike hugged his shoulders, Xander looked up at Spike,
"will we always be together?" Spike nodded,
"always and forever, luv." Xander snuggled closer to Spike,
"I forgot how nice this was." Spike took Xander's hand,
"we better get a head start on those fourty years before Angel comes home." Xander chuckled,
"we should look into our own house." Spike wrapped an arm around Xander's waist and Xander looked up and smiled,
"always and forever, right?"
"Always and forever."
~*~FIN~*~
Setting: Early season 2
Dedications: To Mina Harker, my Beta Reader and who gave me the inspiration for this story.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Xander walked through the Bronze, he spotted Buffy and Willow and ran over, "hey guys, how's it goin' with the studying?" Buffy looked up,
"I will fail, plus now I've got this new vamp to deal with, says he's gonna kill me this Saturday, why's Sat so special?" Xander paused, knowing the reason, he smiled,
"Night of St. Vigious, evil vamp leader, not good, who was it, a local?"
"No, seemed out of town, knew I was the Slayer, seemed prepared, not bad looking." Willow nodded,
"yeah, deep ice blue eyes, bleach blonde hair, british accent, real cute." Xander frowned, deep in thought, he took a sip of water,
"did he look like Billy Idol?" Buffy nodded,
"yeah, that's it, didn't get a name though." Xander put the water and grabbed Angel's arm as the souled vampire approached,
"we need to talk, important, follow me." They weaved through the crowd and Angel faced Xander, Xander stopped walking and faced Angel, tears in his eyes, "Spike's back."
*************************************************Flashback- 1958****************************************************
Xander walked the crowded streets of Los Angeles, he smiled at the man beside him, clutching his hand and never wandering too far from his sight. The man pulled him back, "not too far, luv." Xander nodded,
"okay Spike, I'm just hungry." Spike smiled,
"I know, me too, but don't forget, the Slayer." Angel shook his head,
"Spike, I've never seen you this concerned about the Slayer before, why?" Spike let Xander's hand go as Xander followed a young woman,
"stay close!" Xander nodded and Spike faced Angel, "him, I-I love Xan, ever since I saw that vamp feeding on the poor boy." Angel smiled,
"hey, it's okay, caring for a Childe, I get that, just don't break his heart." Spike smiled as Xander walked back over wiping his mouth, he nodded,
"don't worry, Sire, I won't, he knows, don't you Alex." Xander nodded and snuggled close to Spike,
"tired." Spike looked at the clock,
"come on, it's nearly sunrise, we've all fed."
Walking back into their apartment Xander ran into his and Spike's room, Spike locked the door and Angel pulled out a flask of blood from the fridge. Ever since he had gotten his soul back he hadn't fed off a human but he still remained with Spike and Spike's newest Childe, Xander Lavelle. Spike had caught a good for nothing vampire feeding off Xander, knowing it was too late to get him to a hosptial he turned Xander, the two had become inseperable since. They both loved each other, Spike loved Xander more so because of his bond to Xander and his need to care for the twenty year old. Xander walked back into the living room, changed into black pajamas, he smiled, "coming?" Spike nodded,
"in a minute, I promise." Xander walked back into the room and Spike smiled to Angel, "sleep well, Sire." He walked into the room and shut the blinds, pulling off his deep green shirt he toed off his shoes and crawled in next to Xander. Xander snuggled close to Spike and Spike wrapped a protective arm around Xander's waist and kissed his forehead. Xander looked up at Spike,
"will you always be with me?" Spike nodded,
"always and forever Alex, I promise, now sleep."
**************************************************************************** ********************************************
That one promise Spike didn't keep, two years later he left and broke Xander's heart, Xander hadn't heard from him since, he felt him near every once and a while, but nothing more. So Xander and Angel moved around and finally settled in Sunnydale, in 1996 Xander met Willow and they became friends strangely enough, Angel had found the fabled Gem of Amarra and given it Xander, soon after Xander met Buffy and they became friends as well. Everyone knew of Angel's identity as a vampire, but not Xander's, they thought Xander and Angel were half brother with different fathers. Angel sighed, "oh Xan, I'm sorry, I know how much Spike meant to you." Xander shook his head,
"no you don't, you can't know, I loved him so much, we were perfect, Sire and Childe, and we were so much in love, then he left me, you can't know what I'm feeling, there's no way, give me the keys, I'm going home."
Willow looked up as Xander walked into the library, "you left in a hurry last night, what happened?"
"Wasn't feeling well, sorry." Willow smiled and waved a hand,
"it's okay, no biggie." Xander slid into a chair,
"I didn't sleep much last night, bad dreams." Willow patted his back,
"there, there, it's okay Alex." Xander stood up,
"never call me that, never!" He sighed, "sorry Wills, just, a really, really close friend of mine used to call me that, then they left." Willow frowned and looked down,
"oh Xan, sorry, I shouldn't have done that, I'm so stupid." Buffy walked in,
"I found some info on our new friend, name's Spike, he's killed two Slayers int he past, we're in trouble, big, big, heaps of trouble."
Xander walked through the cemetary, his unlife sucked, he missed Spike, the last two years they had together were amazing, they did everything together. Xander missed everything about him, his small smirk, his soft and gentle voice, his accent, how protective he was, how much he loved him, the feel of their skin against the other's, how he tasted, how he smelt, Spike was perfect. Why did he have to leave? Xander sighed and whirled around at the feeling of a presence behind him, well speak of the devil. Lowering the stake he snorted, "oh, it's only you, though it might have been a vamp worth staking." Spike looked so hurt,
"Xan I can explain."
"No need, I caught the drift when you ripped my heart out and left."
"Alex wait-" Xander whirled around,
"DON'T EVEN THINK ABOUT ALEXING ME, ALMOST FIFTY DAMN YEARS, I LOVED YOU, DON'T THINK YOU CAN JUST PRANCE BACK HERE AND I'LL ACCEPT YOU, NOT LIKELY, I HATE YOU, I DON'T WANT TO SEE YOU, YOU KILLED ME, THAT DAY YOU LEFT, I DIED, IT HURT SO BAD, I SPENT YEARS GETTING OVER YOU, WHEN I'M FINALLY OVER YOU, YOU POP BACK UP AGAIN, I HATE YOU!" Xander shoved past Spike and Spike grabbed his arm, he whirled around, "get bent Spike." With that he was gone, leaving both of them in pain.
Xander wiped his eyes as he ran from the cemetary, he needed blood, badly. Grabbing some unlucky soul he dragged them into an alley and bit down, draining their blood he walked back out and he heard Willow's voice. Turning around he smiled at the red head, "hey Wills." She slowed, "you okay Xan?" "Life sucks." "I know, come on." She gave him a hug and he smiled, "thanks, I'd better get going, I have an algebra test tomorrow and Angel's quiz me." "He's a great brother." "Yeah he is." "Well, see ya!" He walked off, headed towards his and Angel's apartment, Spike shook his head from his watching spot and took off in the direction of his house.
Xander sat in the library after school doing homework, work he had done ages ago, but did to belong. The sun was setting rapidly and Willow looked over from her laptop, "still glum?"
"Yeah." She smiled and pulled out a brown paper bag and Xander looked puzzled, then opened it, he smiled, "Mr. Mallows!" He pulled one out and ripped the package open, breaking off a piece of the marshmallow and chocolate coated cookie he offered it to Willow who grabbed it and chewed,
"these are awsome, I remember you used to hate them."
"Yeah, I though marshmallows were too squishy." Buffy ripped a large piece of the Mr Mallow and swallowed,
"too squishy, never." She plunked a book down, "found that book for ya Xand." He picked it up,
"thanks Buff, see you later." He kissed her cheek, "life saving Slayer."
"What I'm here for."
Xander threw his keys on the table, "Angel?" The brunette looked up from his book,
"nice day?"
"I got that book I wanted from Buff."
"Good." Xander picked up a bottle of water, Angel turned a page in his book, "I saw Spike today." Xander dropped the bottle and it smashed on the floor,
"you did, what did he say?" Angel looked up,
"that he missed you." Xander started mopping up the spill,
"yeah well, he can forget it, he hurt me real bad, I don't care."
"He said he was sorry and that he still loved you." Xander stood,
"good, now he can suffer." Angel stood,
"Xander, he explained everything to me." Xander threw the paper towels away,
"save it, I don't give a damn, I'm meeting Buff and Wills in twenty minutes, want to come?"
"No, go ahead."
Xander tapped his pencil against the book and Willow sighed, "bored."
"Do I have to justify that with an answer." Willow smiled,
"that much huh." Xander nodded, he added a few lines to his sketch and looked at it, sighing he ripped it out of the book and crumpled up the sketch of Spike. Why couldn't he stop thinking about him, stupid blonde tempter, Spike haunted his dreams and his very life, well, unlife. He growled in frustration and slammed his hands on the table,
"I've had it!" Willow looked over,
"Xan?" Before Xander could react there was am all too familiar british voice behind him,
"fancy meeting you here, with the Slayer." Angel stood,
"Spike."
"Not you Sire, the other." Xander stood,
"piss off Spike."
Willow, Buffy and Giles looked at him in confusion and Spike leaned against the counter, "no hug, I missed you, a lot." Xander shed his jacket,
"Spike, I've had it, you've pissed me off for the last time." Buffy looked at Xander and Angel put a hand on his shoulder,
"not now, this isn't the place." Xander jerked and looked at Angel,
"I can do this."
"Xan, listen to your brother." Spike snickered,
"brother, that's rich, you never told them did you?" Xander motioned Spike to him,
"shut up, come on Spike, let's dance." Spike lunged forward and Xander dropped and swept Spike's legs out, but Spike leapt to aviod being on the ground, Xander kicked up and Spike stumbled back,
"picked up a few moves have you?" Xander looked at Willow,
"sorry Wills, this secret just never got out." There was a pause and Xander let out a soft growl, turning back to Spike he fully vamped and growled.
Willow faced Angel, "did you, stupid question, why's Xan so pissed at Spike?" Angel looked down,
"way back when Xander first got turned, fifty years ago, he and Spike were inseperable, Sire and Childe have a strong bond, even stronger when they're in love." Willow faced Xander once more,
"so, Spike turned Xan, but they were in love, I'm guessing, dating, type thing."
"Sort of, anyways, what happened was, they were so in love, everything was perfect, then two years later Spike ups and leaves, no reason, he just leaves and never comes back. Hence the anger." Willow nodded and watched as Xander kicked Spike in the stomach,
"fifty years, fifty, no letter, no phone call, nothing, it hurt so bad, then you come back and expect me to take you back?!"
Spike backhanded Xander, "let me explain!" Xander sat on Spike's chest,
"fine." Spike sighed,
"well, a week before I left I started getting letters, threatening notes, saying that if I didn't leave someone would kill off my family, starting with you. I couldn't let that happen, so I decided to leave, I tried to contact you, I swear to what ever I'm supposed to worship, I did, whenever I came close I backed out, I couldn't face you. I couldn't do it, I couldn't think of what to say or how to say it. I'm telling you the truth, I left to protect you, it killed me, each day was hell, I found myself thinking about you. Finally I gathered my courage and came down here, I was joking about what I said to the Slayer, I was just looking for you, when I found you what you said really hurt me. " Xander shifted back to his human face and stood,
"I need to talk to you, come on, be right back guys."
Xander walked into the hall and faced Spike with teared eyes, "you really hurt me, real bad, I missed you so much, I'm sorry, I didn't mean what I said, I was just pissed."
"I'm sorry too, I should have told you, I'm so sorry, are you mad at me?" Xander wiped his eyes,
"you're my Sire, I could never hold a grudge, but you owe me." Spike wiped a lone tear off Xander's cheek,
"for what." Xander smiled,
"fourty years of missing kisses and snuggles." Spike kissed his forehead,
"I promise Alex." Xander wrapped his arms around Spike and Spike hugged his shoulders, Xander looked up at Spike,
"will we always be together?" Spike nodded,
"always and forever, luv." Xander snuggled closer to Spike,
"I forgot how nice this was." Spike took Xander's hand,
"we better get a head start on those fourty years before Angel comes home." Xander chuckled,
"we should look into our own house." Spike wrapped an arm around Xander's waist and Xander looked up and smiled,
"always and forever, right?"
"Always and forever."
~*~FIN~*~