Disclaimer: Lucky Star and the characters depicted are not mine, and I make so little money that you'd hardly profit from suing me, plus you'd look like a huge jerkbag and you'd lose a big fan. I just love the show is all. :(
Author's Notes: One of my biggest insecurities about submitting my first two fics is that...well, readers generally like it when something happens in a story, and...nothing really happens in mine. I haven't written fic in a while, so I wanted to try a couple of first-person one-shots from the character with whom I identify the most. This and the fic following it are simply Kagami's thoughts on Konata. I tried to do one for each side of her Tsundere personality. This is the tsuntsun, or abrasive side. I really tried to keep her in character, so I hope at least that is interesting enough. I know I may have given her slightly more elaborate dialog in some places, but only in her thoughts. I know that at least I think in much prettier words than what actually comes out of my mouth, so that's my excuse. Anyway, please review, as nervous as I am I do appreciate feedback.
Why do I Even Care?
You make me SO ANGRY. Really. Why, why don't you ever listen to me? You should have been keeping up with your homework, you should have been paying attention in class instead of relying on my notes, you should be going to bed at normal, HUMAN hours of the night instead of wasting what few suffering brain cells you might have left on that searing skillet you call a computer. Or console...or - whatever! Of COURSE you failed the pop quiz! You didn't have any warning, so you got no opportunity to mooch off of me beforehand. And you failed. Every little bit counts, you know. What are you going to do when you go for college? There's no way we're going to wind up at the same university, and there's an even -smaller- chance that you'll find someone as dumb-- kind as I was to you when it came to copying homework. Right now you're feeling sorry and lamenting a low grade (and probably plotting some kind of online-revenge on your unsuspecting teacher, too), but all those feelings of remorse will be flushed down that endless drain in your mind by the end of the day. I know it. They're probably already starting to seep away as I sit here and think. If you don't change your bad habits, they'll only grow on you until you've got no chance of success. I'm not making this stuff up just to bother you, so why won't you listen?? It's your future, you know. Don't you care about it? Why the hell do I care about it?? Why should I have to drive myself even the slightest bit insane for your sake? Fine, I just won't TALK about THAT anymore.
So hey, remember that guy who came over and found me at lunch today? The one with the "mischevious sparkle in his eye", who "must really have a thing for chicks with chubby cheeks"? HE WAS RETURNING MY CALCULATOR. I lent it to him earlier this morning, and that was IT. Anyone else would have been able to go through such a transaction like a normal person - "Here's your calculator back, thanks for lending it, hey no problem, see ya later" - but oh, not with YOU around. For you, something so simple was a call for a 20 minute session of relentless pokes and jabs and ANNOYING, not to mention INAPPROPRIATE teasing. Honestly! I don't see how you manage to take the menial aspects of my life and turn them into AMMO, but you do it and you LOVE it! He probably heard you, you know. I sit right near him! I'm not going to be able to look him in the face for weeks now! You couldn't even wait until he'd left the room, could you! And that smug little grin you're always flashing my way at times like this was just GLUED to your odd little mouth for the rest of the period. I'm sure it'll still be there while I try to avoid you on the way home. I guess it's easy to take pride in your absolute shamelessness when it's all at MY expense, isn't it?!
Oh, and the bunny ears and bow-tie you left on my desk this morning? NOT FUNNY. One little conversation that somehow ended in you labeling me as a rabbit, added to another little coversation about rabbits' association with chocolate and sweets over some holidays, and it looks like I'm branded forever! Did you actually get up early and make it to school before me (I guess it's nice to know that -something- can get you up early) just so that you could tiptoe into my classroom before I got there and leave those things on my desk, complete with a note with a heart and what I think was a crudely drawn carrot on it? It's not like you were even trying to hide the fact that it was you. When I stormed over to your class to return the stupid things, you just held up a giant cotton ball and went "Oh yeah, I forgot the tail." NOT FUNNY. I guess I'm only here for your amusement, right? Oh yes, and as a free homework source. I guess I can see why you want to keep such a loudmouthed, overweight, tsuntsun, nagging pain in your poor ass around, then. God knows why I put up with you.
And just to put the last nail in that coffin, you caught me just as lunch was ending today. There for a second I thought that maybe you were going to apologize for going too harsh in front of a classmate, but WHAT on earth malfunctioned in my brain to draw me to that conclusion even for a moment? Sure you acted with a little humility, for a SENTENCE, but only to soften me up so that you could tell me "I'm not planning on feeling well tonight, so if you wouldn't mind letting me copy a few things..." You didn't DESERVE an answer.
I've HAD it with you today. You're not getting anything out of me. Don't even think that I'll grace you with another greeting until tomorrow morning, if you're LUCKY. And don't try calling my cell, or my house, or my sister to try and arrange any more of your mooching of my homework or my time. It won't work. You drive me CRAZY and I need a break from you. I don't even know why I care so much. So, this is me not caring. I've got my schoolbag, I've got my dignity, school is over and I'm heading toward the door. My sister will be there and I know that you will be too, but I'm just going right home. See how you like a little silent treatment from here to the train.
...
So you and Tsukasa are going for ice cream? Before dinner? Real nice... Damn, ice cream...I want to go but...ugh, and here I'd vowed not to even say anything..
"Sorry, I'm afraid I'm a little short at the moment. You'll just have to go without me. Besides, I wouldn-"
"Oh that's alright, I'll pay for you. It'll be my treat."
...what?
"Though you might wanna consider getting frozen yogurt instead..."
...what?
"Come on, onee-chan. Mom and Dad shouldn't get mad about it."
"Come oooon, don't be tsuntsun all day. Types like you need to keep a balance, Kagamin."
Oh, don't call me that now, you little...I...
I'll try to make my defeated sigh a little less audible.
"Fine, but I'm holding you to what you said. You're paying."
"Sure sure, I keep my promises. Now come on, the faster we leave here the faster Kagami gets to stuff her face for free."
"Hey!"
I'm not doing this for you. It's free dessert and that's it, okay? You still don't deserve squat from me. Guess you got lucky this time. You little jerk, you...
"By the way, we might be making a detour or two once we're in town..."
...just where are you taking me?!
Footnotes: So that was it. This one can be taken either as her view on their friendship or something else. However you want. Personally, I am a fan of the KonataxKagami couple, but that will be more reflected in the fic to accompany this one. I hope you enjoyed, and at least it wasn't too long right? Please review, I'd really appreciate it. Thanks.