Author's Notes: I've taken the basic plot from the first story I ever wrote 13 long years ago. I've modified it, of course. Do enjoy, I'll try to have the first chapter up in a couple days, still waiting on my beta, and yes, it is a Fuffy fic, but it is more Faith-centric than anything else :)

The sand felt warm beneath her bare feet as she walked along the deserted, quiet beach. She'd been thinking a lot the past week; too much for her own good. The dreams had been haunting her for years. Dreams of Buffy, of the two of them together in ways that made her think about just how she truly felt for her fellow Slayer and one-time enemy.

Was she in love? Did she even know what being in love felt like? She already knew the answer to that question, and the answer was yes.

Shrugging it off, she came to a stop by the edge of water, the waves crashing gently at her feet. After Sunnydale, everyone had gone their separate ways and she hadn't seen or spoken to anyone since. She had stayed in LA, doing her own thing and occasionally helping Angel whenever he needed her. He paid her for her help and he kept a roof over her head, clothes on her back, and food in her stomach. She didn't know what she'd do without him. He'd been there for her whenever she needed him and even when she hadn't. He'd been the one she went to when the dreams started. He'd been the one to first hear that she might be in love with Buffy, the one who was there when she realized that she always had been in love with Buffy even when things went bad.

Angel was the closest thing she had to family. She loved him because he'd been the one to pull her out of the darkness that threatened to consume her once and for all. He'd been the one who stood by her side and had faith in her when no one else did. She loved him because he'd given her a reason to trust others even when she couldn't trust herself.

But back to the dreams: She couldn't stop thinking about them and what they could possibly mean. They felt too real to be just normal dreams and she knew that one way or another, Buffy was having them with her too. There'd been so many times, especially over the last year, that she wanted to pick up the phone and track Buffy down, talk to her, just to see if she was okay. She knew it probably wasn't the greatest idea, though. Buffy had taken off on her own and wanted to be left alone; she felt, even knew, that much in those dreams she had, but she felt something else, too. She felt Buffy reaching out for her, wanting to feel loved in a way that only she could love her.

It wasn't that easy, though. She had Leah, and even though she didn't love her she had been with her for seven months. They'd been living together for almost five months now, and Leah was the only one she'd ever felt comfortable spending almost all her time with, but it just didn't feel right. Leah wasn't Buffy. She was the complete opposite of Buffy, actually, but she made Faith feel good, loved even, and that's all Faith felt that she needed at this point in her life. Leah was stable, she was normal, she was sweet, sexy, and funny. And the sex was amazing.

"Faith?" Leah called out as she walked out of the house and headed down the soft embankment towards the beach. "Got dinner on, babe."

"Cool," Faith smiled as she kept her eyes trained on the water and watched the sun as it began to set. "What are we having?"

"One of your favourites," she replied as she wrapped her arms around Faith from behind. "Steak and baked potatoes. I left out the vegetables tonight since we don't have any."

"Cool," Faith repeated as she shoved her hands into her jean pockets, wishing she hadn't quit smoking a few months back. She could really use one right then. She really hated when Leah invaded her personal, private space when she was thinking about Buffy. Something about it just annoyed her.

There was one thing she could say she loved about Leah and that was the fact that she never pushed her, never asked for anything more than what they had and never expected her to say that she loved her back. It was the one reason that after their first few times they'd slept together that Faith felt comfortable enough to enter a relationship with her. But she wasn't Buffy, she wasn't even close to being everything that Buffy was and could be. Angel had told her repeatedly since her relationship with Leah had started not to put her up on the pedestal that she had Buffy on.

Leah gave her a soft kiss on her cheek before she dropped her arms from around her and headed back up to the house. Faith turned briefly to watch her walk away, her long black hair flowing freely down her back and swaying slightly in the soft breeze. She tilted her head to the side a little, her eyes trained on her long, lean legs and the pert backside that plagued her mind every minute when she wasn't thinking of Buffy. Leah glanced over her shoulder and winked at Faith before she walked into the house, leaving the back door open for her.

She let out a soft sigh as she took a couple steps back from the water and sat down in the sand. Her life had changed so drastically since she'd met Leah. No longer did she go out to the clubs or bars every night. No longer did she drink until she fell down and passed out wherever because she was completely wasted. No longer did she dive into the darkness that once plagued her when she felt down on herself and alone in the world. Her life was the epitome of what she'd once considered boredom and she wouldn't have it any other way. She wouldn't trade those quiet Friday nights where she'd sit with Leah on the back porch with a glass of wine and just watch the waves as they rolled in. She wouldn't trade those Saturday mornings where she was woken up by light kisses and soft caresses. No, the only thing she'd trade everything for was to have it all with Buffy.

Leah knew about Buffy. Faith had told her only once about her. She didn't like to talk about her past and for the most part Leah had respected that. She only told her about Buffy since she felt it was one thing Leah needed to know. She left out the major details, the dreams, most of their past, but all in all she'd basically told her that she was in love with Buffy without actually saying the words. After that talk, Faith had slept that night on the couch and had the first dream with Buffy in it that she'd had in weeks.

The dreams were what kept her heart set on Buffy. The dreams were what gave her a lingering thread of hope that maybe at some point, one day in the future, they'd have a chance to be together.

"Oh, who am I kidding?" Faith muttered to herself as she stared out over the water. "Buffy is never going to want to be with me the way I want to be with her. Stop holding on to false hope, Lehane. Never did you any good in the past, did it?"

She laughed at herself before standing up and slowly making her way up to the house. She could smell the steak cooking, the baked potatoes steaming, and she could hear Leah softly humming as she put the food on the plates. She stood to the side, leaning against the counter with her arms crossed over her chest, and watched Leah as she finished putting the food on the plates and turned to face her.

"Smells good," Faith smiled as she walked up to her and gave her a soft kiss. It felt good, but it didn't feel right. It never did. "Did you get the wine out yet?"

"No," Leah replied as she shook her head. "Why don't you grab the bottle and the glasses and meet me out back?"

Faith waited for her to walk out the back door and set the plates on the small table on the back porch before she grabbed a fresh bottle of wine off the rack and then picked up two glasses. She sighed softly, feeling so happy yet feeling so empty at the same time. She shrugged it off, just as she always did, and walked out to the back to join Leah at the table where they ate most of their meals or would have a glass of wine or two when Faith got home from a short patrol every night.

They ate in comfortable silence, a common thing between them. It wasn't that they didn't have anything to talk about. The silence itself was comforting and all they ever really needed most times. They communicated through touch, through the soft, tender kisses, and through a simple look at one another. It often made Faith wonder if maybe she did love Leah, just in a different way than the way she loved Buffy. She and Buffy would never have this kind of relationship, she was sure of that much. The dreams were mostly of a sexual nature and although she wasn't complaining, she knew if it ever came down to it that's all they'd ever really have.

"Someone called earlier while you were out," Leah said softly as soon as they'd both finished eating. "Someone named Xander."

"Oh yeah? Did you take a message?"

"I left it by the phone," she replied and took in a deep breath. "Who is he anyway?"

"An old friend."

"A friend of Buffy's?"

Faith said nothing as she reached for her glass of wine and took a sip. She didn't want to bring Leah into that part of her life and she didn't want to explain why Xander called her every couple of months, either. It was usually just to check in and catch up; sometimes to ask her if she'd heard from Buffy at all. Most times when she talked to Xander they both avoided talking about Buffy at all. He, out of all of them, was hurt the most by her taking off to be alone. She could understand why he felt that way, too. Buffy was one of his best friends and she'd walked away after Sunnydale without a care in the world.

"I'm gonna go call him back," Faith said softly as she leaned over and gave Leah a quick, chaste kiss.

She left her sitting outside and went to check the message scribbled down on the notepad next to the phone in the kitchen. There was just a number written down, a Cleveland number, and she quickly drank the rest of her wine before picking up the phone. With a shaky hand she dialled the number and waited.