Well, it has definitely been a while since I've posted any story. But now that I'm nearing the end of my exams, and I'm about to head off for my holiday I figured I wanted to get back into what I love doing.

The timeline is explained in the author's note at the bottom, so just go with it for now=) There is very mild swearing in this but nothing too vulgar. I don't want to spoil it too much, but I guess you'll read it below, the torture scenes could become quite graphic for some and I will be as descriptive as a T rating will give me, though it may have to change to an M just in case….sorry about that.

DISCLAIMER: I own nothing…

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Richard Castle was a firm believer in knowing what his characters should be feeling, rather than thinking that you know. Because, according to Castle; thinking you know is not actually knowing.

While researching for previous books, making contacts or getting information out of people was easy. All he did was turn on his charm and whomever the unlucky lady – and the occasional man – was would melt and become putty in Castles hands.

So it came as a surprise for Castle when one particular Detective, could see right through the bullshit. Said Detective was one of the few – few meaning a low single digit number that doesn't include his mother or daughter – that commanded in a way no man, let alone a woman – again excluding Martha and Alexis – could command him.

At first, it was just a big game for him. He was – and still is – extremely attracted to her, so he relentlessly and shamelessly flirted with her on a regular basis, but she always fought back which was, again surprising for Castle. More surprising is how much he actually enjoyed their witty banter, it reassured him that this woman was unlike many that he's ever dated; as for one it's proving that she has a brain. She was in fact his muse, and though he stopped telling her that after many physical and bodily threats, he still recognizes her to be exactly that: an inspiration.

He didn't know it was happening while it was happening, but thinking back now he can see how much she has changed him. She hasn't in any way tried to change him, but that's the remarkable thing about Katherine Beckett; she doesn't realize the effect she can have on him.

She inspired him to strive toward something that didn't involve hefty checks, hot girls and all night wild parties. He wanted to change for her because he saw the way she scrutinized him, and it was none too highly, he wanted to be able to prove to her that he is more than what she sees. He never really understood why he wanted her, of all people, to think more highly of him, but he did and because of her regard for him, he realized that all of those things he was doing, all of the people he was seeing and all of the money he was making, was all an act.

He put on a façade in front of everyone, for everyone, because that's what people assumed he was like. He went with it; he didn't see a reason not to as it was selling his books; he was having fun with the parties and the amount of women that hung off his arms.

Cue Beckett and she pulled him right down from whatever high rising pedestal he had deemed his own to earth. He didn't know when he started to become so cocky and selfish but Beckett sure knew how to get it out of him.

After a couple of years of shadowing her, he was bestowed with the honour of being called her partner, saving her life and vice versa multiple times each, being allowed into the world of her mother and the reason why she is who she is.

Like those concrete slabs that are built around her heart to keep people out and at a safe distance, that's one fortress he's trying so hard to knock over, or at least create a little peep-hole to see inside. He is a very patient man though, personally one of his more favourable traits, and every day he notices that wall around her heart is slowly been taken down brick by brick. Though he always had to be careful as one brick would come down another five would go back up if he screwed up.

Some would wonder why he tries and he'll admit to wondering exactly that too. He's getting nothing out of it other than heartbreak and rejection so why bother? Maybe it was because of the way she was determined to catch a murderer no matter how much danger she puts herself in. Or maybe it was because there was a broken woman behind that mask of confidence that pulled at his heartstrings. Either way he found that he could not keep her away from her, both mentally and physically. He often found the need to be close to her, and often found his mind wondering to what she could be doing right now, or if she's thinking of him.

It took him a little while but he realized how much he truly cared for this woman. He didn't know if it was love but it damn near felt like it, and he could tell that she wanted it too, especially after that glorious under-cover kiss they shared.

Castle let a blissful sigh slowly pass his lips; he didn't want more pain shooting through the left side of his ribs. That kiss is what really sealed the deal for him. He was in this and whether or not she was aware of her feelings for him, he knew her feelings, call it arrogance, or call it instinct, but Castle knew that one day they would end up together.

One day, when her mother's case will be behind her and the people that caused all of her heartbreak will finally be put down or put behind bars, Beckett will finally have the closure she longs to have, that Castle desperately wants her to have.

One day, Castle will be able to wake up next to her as the sun glances off her naked shoulder while she sleeps peacefully next to him. He'll wrap his arm around her stomach, and she'll grab his hand holding him there, and they'll lie like that, feeling content every day for the rest of their lives.

A blinding pain tears Castle out of his daydream and back to reality. The knife that's being slowly drawn across his back is cutting through the skin at a slow pace. His head is thrown back as he lets lose another scream. His throat is so raw from the screaming that he doesn't understand how he hasn't lost his voice yet.

The knife left his back with a painful dig and flick, making his head droop and his breathing heavy. All he had to do was tell them what they wanted to know, to make the pain stop, that's all he had to do. Then he'd get a flash of her beautiful face and a new resolve pulsated through his body.

"I was so close" He thought about that wall and how he was nearly looking over the top. He couldn't help that small feeling of anguish bubble up at the pit of his stomach, he was so close and it hurt him thinking that's all he would ever be, because unless Beckett and her team can find him within the next five minutes, then it's over.

"Kate" he thought. She is the reason he's still alive and fighting. He knows that the amount of blood that is on the ground, soaked into his clothing and a few splatters on his captors should have resulted in him passing out.

But if he does then she dies.

He felt like an injured animal being cornered by poachers. Normally the fear of being killed would have triggered Castle's natural survival instinct but he, for once, is restraining himself. For the life of someone else, whom he cares deeply for, he will not act on this instinct.

He would rather die than she.

Castle's eyes rose from the dark barrel which held his life to meet another pair of dark eyes which were void of any human emotion.

The captor pulled back on the slide with a force full pull and a click – it reminded Castle of the trademark movie sound effects of a gun being ready to fire, though Castle didn't find it too humorous or cool considering his situation.

His captor placed it none too gently on Castle's forehead. "Last chance. Where is she?"

By now Castle actually welcomed death. Though he wrote about it as a job and made money from it, he never was very fond of the idea of himself being the victim. But now, it was a better compromise to being tortured all day and night. To have the pain, the fear, all taken away is exactly what Castle wants and if dying was his only escape then he will embrace death with open arms. Because, he hopes, that that means they won't find her.

Castle's hate filled glare was trained on his captor – soon to be killer – Without letting his voice or glare waver; he rasped his final words through gritted teeth. "You will never get her as long as I'm alive." He snarled.

His captor smirked. "I guess that means you die."

With a loud pop, everything in Castles vision went black…

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So this is the start of the story…obviously. I wrote this quite a while ago, I'm pretty sure before the end of the season 3, and I live in New Zealand so that means just before season 4 started back on US television. It's been sitting on my computer for a while gathering virtual dust bunnies, but as I said above I want to get back into my writing so here I am.

Anyways I hope you like where this starts, I don't know if I will carry on with this, as it is a bit late in the timeline according to the series. But I guess we will see.

Thanks for reading,

Melissa