Full summary: Set somewhere in the void between Eclipse and Breaking Dawn. My take on Edward changing Bella. Based on the new Paramore song, Decode, from the Twilight movie soundtrack. When Edward and Bella get into a fight over whether Edward should change Bella, harsh things are said and one of them is left with the sense that things are over, causing them to make a huge mistake. Can Edward and Bella work out their differences or are they through? And will Bella ever be changed into a vampire?
Bella Swan paced back and forth across her room as Alice Cullen and Rosalie Hale sat on her bed, watching her. Bella turned to her friends, tears etched across her face. "What do I do, you guys?" she asked.
"We can't tell you that, Bella," said Alice. "We've given you all the advice we can. There isn't anything else we can tell you at this point."
"Alice is right, Bella," Rosalie said sympathetically. "We've given you all the arguments we can come up with for why you should and shouldn't stay with Edward. As of now, you've got to decide." Bella sniffled and nodded.
"Come on, Rosalie, we'd better go," Alice said. Slowly, the two girls stood up and hugged Bella before pulling open her door and leaving. Bella watched them disappear down the hall of her and Edward's cottage and out the front door before she shut her bedroom door. She threw herself down on her bed and tried her hardest to think through what Alice and Rosalie had told her, but all she could think about was Edward.
How can I decide what's right
When you're clouding up my mind?
I can't win your losing fight
All the time
Edward Cullen sat alone in his old room, lights off, shades covering the window-wall, door shut, his head in his hands, unmoving, like a marble statue. He couldn't believe what had happened. He couldn't believe he had been stupid enough to hurt his Bella not once, but twice. She'll never forgive me, he thought bitterly. I just want to love her and have her be mine, but I have to go and mess everything up. Suddenly the door flew open. Edward lifted his head and saw his pixie sister dance into the room, Jasper, Emmett, and Rosalie behind her. "Go away," he said.
"No," Alice said, turning on the lights as Emmett moved to open the curtains.
"Get out of my room. All of you."
"Edward, just please listen to us," Emmett begged.
"Fine," Edward snapped, falling backwards on his couch. "What the hell do you want?"
"We want to hear your side of the story," Rosalie said. "Alice and I already talked to Bella…"
"You what?!" Edward said, sitting up straight abruptly.
"We talked to Bella," Alice said. "And don't you go getting mad at us. She's our friend – our sister – and we care about her. We care about you both and want to help you work this out. But we can't do that if we don't know your half of the story."
"Fine," Edward said. "Bella and I got into a fight over whether or not I should change her into one of us. Some harsh things were said, and I got the impression that we were through. Tanya was comforting me, and I don't know… I kissed her. It just sort of happened."
"Did you both actually agree it was over?" Jasper asked.
"Well, no."
"No wonder Bella was furious," Rosalie said. "How could you be so stupid, Edward? I can't believe Bella was even considering forgiving you."
"Don't say that, Rose," Alice said, shocked. "If they can work this out, why shouldn't they?"
Rosalie opened her mouth to respond, but Emmett took her wrist. "Hey Rose, can I talk to you alone for a second?" He led her from the room. Alice and Jasper turned back to Edward.
"Listen, Edward, you need to go apologize to Bella," Jasper said. "I know you may not want to, but unless you want to completely destroy everything there ever was between you, you need to tell her you're sorry."
"So I'm supposed to get down on my knees and beg her to forgive me, is that it?" Edward snapped.
"Well…" said Alice.
"Look, I know I love Bella and want her to forgive me, but I'm not going to surrender all of my pride just so she'll take me back." Edward stood up and walked outside. Jasper and Alice followed him to the doorway, Emmett and Rosalie behind them.
"Where are you going, Edward?" Emmett asked.
"I'm going for a walk. Don't follow me. I'll know." He took off into the woods, running.
How can I ever own what's mine
when you're always taking sides?
But you won't take away my pride
No, not this time
Edward ran without stopping until he was miles away from everything; his home, his family, his Bella. Suddenly, he just stopped. He could feel the anger coursing through him. It overwhelmed him and he threw a vicious punch, smashing his fist into one of the trees around him. The trunk snapped and the tree fell backwards. He stood still for a few seconds, simply staring at his surroundings. His head fell and he pinched the bridge of his nose. He couldn't believe how foolish he was being. He shouldn't be here; he should be at his and Bella's house, apologizing to his beloved Bella. He straightened up and starting running in the direction of their cottage.
Not this time
Bella rolled onto her side and curled up into a ball, wrapping her arms around her legs. She thought she knew Edward. She thought he loved her. She thought that they would be together forever. But she was wrong. Why would Edward want me? She thought. I'm just so…ordinary. Tanya's this fascinating, gorgeous immortal. How can I ever compete with that? Tears began to trickle down Bella's cheeks once more.
"Stop it," she said to herself out loud. "No more wallowing, Bella. You and Edward are done, and he's moved on. It's time for you to do the same."
"I wouldn't be so sure about that, love," said the smooth velvety voice. Bella lifted her head. Standing in the doorway to her room was… Edward.
How did we get here
When I used to know you so well?
Edward raced through the trees, his legs drawing him closer and closer to his and Bella's cottage and Bella herself. He raced into the clearing and slowed to a stop. He inhaled deeply, managing to extract the scent of Bella's blood from the tangle of scents woven around the cottage. She was still here. Slowly, he walked up to the front door and opened it, careful not to surprise Bella. She wasn't in the living room. The scent of her blood led him towards the bedroom. Cautiously, he opened the door. Inside, he found Bella curled up on the bed in a ball. She didn't seem to be moving, but then he saw tears begin to stream down her cheeks. Edward's still heart fractured as he watched her.
"Stop it," she said out loud, apparently speaking to herself. "No more wallowing, Bella. You and Edward are done, and he's moved on. It's time for you to do the same."
"I wouldn't be so sure about that, love," he said. She lifted her head off of the bed and stared at him.
How did we get here?
I think I know how
Bella stared at Edward for what felt like an eternity. Slowly, she uncurled herself and stood. She walked around the bed and stood at the foot, across from Edward. She stared into his eyes, trying to fathom their unfathomable depths and find out what he really felt. Under her intense gaze, Edward tried unsuccessfully to tell Bella how he really felt, but the words simply wouldn't come. Bella could sense that he was trying to tell her the truth, but that he couldn't – why? Was he unsure? Too afraid to hurt her? Trying to find the best way to tell her he was leaving? What?
The truth is hiding in your eyes
and its hanging on your tongue
Edward listened to the unsteady rhythm Bella's heart was beating out. It shifted back and forth, going from fast to slow and back again. He knew what it meant. When it slowed, she was remembering how she felt about him, how much she loved him. When it sped up, he knew she was worrying that he was about to hurt her even more, even worse than when he left her the first time.
Bella could feel her heart racing and slowing as she shifted between the two major feelings governing her reactions. On the one hand, she loved Edward. That hadn't changed. But she also had to deal with the possibility that he was about to hurt her as badly as he had hurt her when he had left her. Worse, even. She knew he couldn't… could he? No… yes? She wasn't sure. Even as she thought this, she could feel her heart slowing, a sense of calm washing over her…
Just boiling in my blood
She looked at Edward again. He stood in exactly the same spot as before, never moving, a marble statue of Adonis, watching her warily. She couldn't understand. Why would Edward do this? He always says he loves me, she thought. You don't assume after one argument that you're through and go kiss someone else. But maybe that's just the vampire way of doing things. He always says that he may be a vampire, but he is a man. But is that really an excuse? Does he think that that will keep me from seeing the truth?
but you think that I can't see
What kind of man that you are,
if you're a man at all?
Edward stared at Bella, wishing that he had some sort of way to be able to know exactly what he was about to face. Since neither he nor Bella was sure of what they wanted, Alice hadn't had a vision he could work with. He couldn't hear what Bella was thinking, so that left him even more helpless. But there was one thing….
Watching the way Bella's soft body moved, the way her chocolate eyes flickered from emotion to emotion, the way her soft, dark hair hung around her face, Edward became more and more aware of just how much he truly loved this girl. He may not have anything to help him fight, but he had this, his love. Maybe that's the answer to figuring this out, he thought. Love.
Well, I will figure this one out on my own
(I'm screaming 'I love you so')
Edward sighed, wishing more than ever that he could read Bella's mind. If only I could hear what she's thinking and be able to know how she feels about me now, he thought.
Bella noted the frustration in Edward's eyes. Is he frustrated with me? she wondered. His face shifted to a look of concentration and Bella realized what he was doing. He's trying to read my mind, she thought. And it's not working. Bella felt a faint smile tugging on her lips. We're on a level field. Each of us has to fight on their own. He can't hear what I'm thinking and I can't here what he's thinking. It's fair.
On my own...
(My thoughts you can't decode)
Edward felt suffocated by the silence surrounding him and Bella. He knew they were never going to work things out if they didn't talk it out. He opened his mouth to say something to Bella.
"How could you do this, Edward?" Bella asked quietly.
"I honestly don't know, love," Edward said. "But I'm sorry."
"That's it? That's all you can say? That you don't know why you kissed Tanya, but you're sorry?" Edward nodded. "That's it. That's really everything."
"Look, Bella, I misunderstood. I thought we were through…"
Bella shook her head, fresh tears brimming in her eyes. "I thought I knew you, Edward."
"You do, Bella."
Bella shook her head again. "No I don't. The Edward I knew would never do things like this. He would never just assume that we were through and then kiss somebody else. But apparently things have changed. I just wasn't informed." She turned away, crying.
How did we get here
when I used to know you so well?
Edward panicked. How had this happened? And how could he fix this? How could I have been so stupid? he thought. I'm the reason for the tears in her eyes, the pain she's feeling. I have to make things right.
"Bella, I'm sorry. I feel terrible for hurting you. I never wanted to do this to you. You mean everything to me. I can't imagine a world without you. I love you, Bella. Please forgive me."
Bella didn't look at him. "If all that's true, then why won't you change me? Why did you kiss Tanya?"
"I've been so stupid, love. I was just trying to protect you, but I went overboard, and when you fought back against my rigid protection, I lashed out at you and made mistakes I never should have made. I'm sorry, love, I truly am."
How did we get here?
I think I know how
Bella turned to look at Edward slowly. She watched him carefully, looking anywhere but his eyes. Her gaze roved passed them and she was instantly locked in their golden depths. She could feel all his love pouring out of his eyes and she felt the hardened shell she had put around herself slowly crumbling. "I'm sorry, Edward," she whispered.
Edward looked puzzled. "Why are you apologizing, love?"
"I never realized that all this time, you wouldn't change me because you were trying to protect me. I thought it was something else and I tried to fight it. I was stupid too, and I'm sorry." The tears began falling down her cheeks.
Do you see what we've done?
We've gone and made such fools of ourselves
Edward walked over to Bella and wrapped her in his arms. She turned and buried her face in his chest, still crying. He let her cry, stroking her hair with one hand and hugging her close to him with the other.
"What fools we've been," he mused, half to himself, half to Bella.
Bella looked up at him. "What do you mean?"
"We've both been so foolish, love, letting such trivial things almost ruin our relationship. These things don't matter and we were such fools to think they do. It doesn't really matter to me if you're a human or a vampire, love. Just as long as I have you."
"It doesn't matter to me that you kissed her," Bella said. "You were hurt and she preyed on that. I know you love me, Edward, and it doesn't matter to me what you do, so long as I know you still love me. We have been foolish, but we can fix it. We are fixing it. We'll be alright, Edward. I promise."
"I know, love." Edward leaned down and kissed Bella lightly on the lips.
Do you see what we've done?
We've gone and made such fools of ourselves
Bella pulled back for air. Edward's lips slid to her throat. "Edward?"
"Yes love?"
"Did you really mean it when you said that it doesn't matter to you if I'm a human or a vampire?"
Edward froze. "Love…"
Bella felt the tears returning. "Edward, please, don't. I don't want to fight over this again."
How did we get here
when I used to know you so well?
"Love, I will change you. I promise. Just not now," said Edward.
"Why not now, Edward?" Bella demanded. "What's wrong with now? There's nothing standing in our way. You even said it yourself, we're going to be leaving Forks soon, for your new 'job.'" Bella placed air quotes around the word "job." "What difference does it make now, if I'm one of you or not?"
How did we get here
when I used to know you so well?
Edward looked down into Bella's chocolate eyes. They smoldered as they stared back up at him, challenging him to reignite the flame of a fight they thought was dying. "Are you sure this is what you want, love?"
"I want to be able to spend forever with you, Edward. So, yes, this is what I want." Bella lowered her head and spoke softly. "Please, Edward."
Edward groaned internally. Bella was preying on his one weakness, this sad, regretful begging. He knew it was weak, but he was going to give in.
I think I know
I think I know
"Bella…" Edward said. She looked up at him hopefully. "Are you sure you want me to do this? I could kill you, Bella."
"You could," she agreed. "But you won't." Edward opened his mouth to respond, but Bella placed a finger on his lips, silencing him. "Look, Edward, I know that I'm your la tua cantante, but I also know that you're stronger than that and that you couldn't kill me, even if you tried because you love me. I can see it in you. You love me and you wouldn't hurt me. You won't kill me, Edward."
Edward hesitated. Slowly, he leaned his lips down and placed them on Bella's throat. "Are you sure about this, love?"
Bella swallowed nervously. "I'm sure."
Edward's lips parted, revealing his teeth. "I could kill you, Bella. This is your last chance to change your mind, to stay human."
"Edward, I see it in you. You love me. Your love might have almost killed me before, but it won't anymore. Please, Edward, just bite me."
Edward paused. He opened his mouth as wide as it would go, and plunged his fangs into Bella's throat.
There is something
I see in you
It might kill me
I want it to be true
There you are! Don't forget to review!
xoxoxoxoxo, TwilightTeen212