I do not own Sailor Moon.
Ch. 1 Manoko
Don't you hate those days when everything is going perfect until the guy you're currently seeing and love with all your heart brings up the dreaded phrase, "We need to talk."? They ruin everything with that tiny three word sentence. They instantly wipe your mind of confidants and fill all that empty space with doubt, leaving you uncomfortable in their presents, making you feel like a deer ready to bolt at any given second.
Slowly they take you for a walk and start to talk bringing up random things trying to lead you into believing they are taking you out on a surprise date or some other surprise. When in reality they are trying to finding a good place to dump you, a place where you can cry your heart out, though some guys skip this step. Then the final sentence is let out completely shattering your very heart and soul.
How do I know this you might ask? I'm an expert with this process or list of things guys do, I have it memorized for you see I've had it done to me so many times that I've lost count. Also it doesn't help that today it happened again just like it always does.
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"Sorry…, but I think its time we see other people." Then with only a few more word he was gone, leaving me to stand alone on the sidewalk with millions of strangers surrounding me. I see faces swim in and out of my blurred vision as I try and come to terms with his previous words. Most people continued on without a glance while some did stop to ask if I was ok only to continue on after no reply.
So that was it, another guy that reminded me of my old sempi was gone. Leaving me just like all the rest, just because I had a back bone and was taller than them. I can't help if I'm tall. I drank a lot of milk when I was younger so what. It's not like everyone didn't do it. Plus he was taller than me this time. That was the reason he reminded me of my old sempi. So why did he leave me?
"Its not you I swear, it's me!"
"Then why?"
Not even realizing it tears seemed to have spilled over and made a trail down my cheeks and onto my fall green dress. My eyes still dazed from his words, still picture him next to me whispering sweet nothings into my ear, saying everything will be alright. Slowly I bring a hand up and wipe away one of the tears just as it started to fall down my cheek. Holding my hand close to my eye I look at the tear about to drip off my finger, trying to find an answer locked in its clear depths.
"I love you, its just I thought I was ready for a relationship, but I'm just not. School and work..."
"Please don't lie to me, at least give me that much."
A hard shove to my shoulder sends the tear drop to the ground as I try to regain my balance. I watch as the tear makes contact with the pavement only to be followed by more until slowly the sidewalk is covered with them. Looking up into the dark sky I realize the planet is feeling my pain and cry harder knowing I am alone once again.
"Sorry…please forgive me, goodbye Makoto."
"…"
Without another thought I run away from this accursed spot letting my legs lead the way.
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Hours later I find myself alone in the park underneath an oak tree trying to use it as a lousy shelter against the hard downpour. Even the sound of lightning doesn't cheer me up as I watch it light up the sky through unseeing eyes, trying in vain to change my mood. My heart is warmed a little as I realize at least my element will never abandon me. It will continue to fight by my side every day we are needed to protect are planet and princess. As soon as the idea hits me, I realize it could turn against me like everyone else when the Sailor Senshi our no longer needed.
A strong August wind causes goose bumps to appear on my skin as my heart grows cold with that thought. My mind finally turns against me as it slowly goes through my list of past boyfriends; each one proving something was wrong with me. Too tall, too aggressive, to strong, and the list goes on and on. Every guy thought I was a freak for some reason.
'Why is it none of the guys I meet work out?'
Slowly I start to believe I am a freak of nature. Unconsciously my sharp nails began to scrap against my skin creating long pink scratches on my forearm. Just as my nails were about to brake the skin, I feel a soft gentle hand firmly take a hold of my own and bring it away from my arm and place it against her warm chest preventing me from causing any permanent damage.
My sluggish brain began to process the information that someone could see me in my weekend state and immediately began to panic. On instinct I tried to pull away, to hide my face from them, to not let them see my tears, to see how weak I was.
"Mako-chan, its ok, I'm here. Everything is going to be alright," Was all they said as I recognized the voice. Then not even giving a reply or thought, I dived into her embrace letting loose all my pent up emotions. Without hesitating she wrapped her arms around me and held me as I continued to cry into her chest. I hear whispers in my ear as she takes up their job and tells me its ok. This only makes me cry harder.
After sometime I started to tell her what happened. Even though it came out in short sobs and half of it was muffled she continued to listen and didn't question me. It was like she was a mother and knew what I needed. Well that or she was just being a really good friend that knew it was in my best interest, and hers, to shut her mouth for once.
I do not know how much time had passed but slowly my sobs lessened and my tears slowly dried out. Finally, without a word, she pulled away only to help me up and started to lead me back to my apartment. On the way she tried to cheer me up. Saying that the guy wasn't worth my time and making bad jokes about him. Even though they were corny they still brought a smile to my face, helping me start to get over him, even if only a little at a time. Like they say, a broken heart can only be healed with time.
Upon are destination she used the spare key I had given her to unlock the door and helped me in. She then led me to the bathroom to let me take a shower and get myself straightened up. She knew that I needed to put up a strong appearance. That was just how my personality worked. That's just one of my pet peeves, I cannot stand to let someone see me in a week state, basically I can't stand to let people see me cry. Though I think she is an exception and she knows it.
After a long hot shower, I knew she wouldn't have it any other way; I came out a little better. Immediately I went to the kitchen planning to cook the night away. I don't know why, but ever since I can remember the kitchen has always been my sanctuary. I can go there and just be myself. I can cook till my hearts content and no one can say differently, except maybe the empty fridge.
Just as I was finished taking out the ingredients for a new idea, I remembered she was still here. Calling out I asked, "Do you want something to eat or drink?"
Not even a second later she's setting on the bar stool in front of me, still soaking wet, looking at me like a little kid in a bakery, smelling all the sweet aromas. Though she is practically in one; not to brag or anything, but I can cook just about anything you name off.
"You know me; anything you cook is fantastic!" She exclaimed with a grin covering her face, and with that I was off, cooking and baking like there was no tomorrow.
Several sweets and hours later found us both rolling on the floor laughing are heads off over the sound of the some random song on the radio. She was to my left laughing while trying not to choke on a cookie that she had stuffed into her mouth just a second ago. Apparently I had said something stupid to cause her reaction. Then the expression on her face caused me to start laughing with her.
Slowly are laughter dies down until only small giggles escape us along with her coughs over the peanut butter cookie. Getting up we both try to catch our breath. Just as I am about to make a comment she says something that makes me freeze. "I hate to ruin the fun, but I need to get going."
That familiar feeling returns as the cold starts to take over my body. I try to stop the tears but slowly lose the battle as they start falling down my face. Before I know what is happening she has me in another embrace softly whispering in my ear. The last thing I see before dreamless sleep overcomes me is her beautiful face giving me a sad almost depressing smile. Then just as my eyelids close I feel droplets lightly hit my face.
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"Sorry mom… Ya…I know…I'm sorry but I couldn't…Yes…I'm sorry…Ok… I'll see you tomorrow…Sorry…I-." Then with a heavy sigh I hear the one sided conversation come to an end. Opening my eyes I try to look for the voice only to be blinded by a stupid lamp.
"Oh your awake, how are you feeling?"
Opening them more slowly this time I look around only to find her in my sanctuary, a.k.a. the kitchen walking toward me with a concerned look.
"Better I think." Looking around I spot the clock on the bar reading one thirty. Immediately guilt takes over as I realize she spent the night because of me. "Sorry," Escapes my lips in a quit whisper.
"What are you talking about?" Walking over she took a seat on the edge of the couch waiting for an explanation.
"I didn't mean to make you stay the night."
"Don't worry, what are friends for anyway? Plus I would have felt guilty for leaving you here alone after what you've been through today."
I give a small smile in response. "So what did your mom say?"
A frown takes over her face as she gets up, "Nothing much really. She was mad at me for not calling sooner, but you know me, didn't cross my mind." This was followed by a hollow laugh.
Trying to change the subject I ask, "So where have you been sleeping?"
"No where really. I was just raiding your fridge and thinking about some things, but don't worry I'll find somewhere sooner or later. Why don't you try and get some more sleep? Remember we have exams starting tomorrow."
I feel drowsiness start to overcome me almost instantly. My brain realizes she is using the crystal and tries to fight it. My eyelids grow heavy as I see her give one more sad smile. I try to say something, only for it to come out as a jumbled mess. Finally my brain shuts down into a dreamless sleep.
Review if you want, though they would be appreciated. Thank you to those that do, it means a lot to me and this fanfiction.
This story is just an experiment. I'm trying to make my chapters longer. Sigh so far I've only got to around 2500 words. That's ok though practice makes everything better, I think...