Okay, i wrote another fic XD I marked it as 'complete' 'cuz this is a twoshot and i already finished part two, but i'll post it later today (tomorrow?) just because. I hope you enjoy this, it took me a while, but i think it's not that bad XD.
Disclaimer: I don't own Shingeki no Kyojin/Attack on titan or any of its characters.
The halls of the Scouting Legion's HQ were silent that day. Well, they were until the first rays of sunshine shone through the windows. For a soldier it was quite uncommon staying in bed much longer after sunrise, so just as the sun came up: it was time to get up.
This was especially accurate for the Special Operations Squad. And this wasn't because they were elite soldiers, not at all. The thing was: Captain Levi wasn't particularly forgiving with people that couldn't handle the time properly. So of course, if someone were to arrive late to their duties, he wouldn't doubt in imparting a punishment. He couldn't always control the situation, of course, but his subordinates were unfortunate enough to be in a certain position of submissiveness when it came to his ridiculous obsessions. One of the lucky exceptions to this rule happened to be the only female soldier under his command. Not because she didn't follow his orders, but because she was smart enough to find a way to obey him more as a choice and less as an obligation. This was because Petra had quite a gift when it came to reading him. At first she had been just like the rest of them: following the rules word by word and being scared out of her mind about what could possibly happen to her if she didn't do what he ordered. But in a matter of months, after the second expedition the team had with their captain: she learned a few tricks.
First of all, she realized where his entire obsession with cleaning and time came from.
He had found her crying after the loss of yet another comrade, curled up in a corner of her room all by herself. She had tried to dry her tears and pretend it was nothing, but he told her otherwise, he said he was happy she could be as strong as she was, that he was glad she could cry and mourn. She wanted to tell him that she wasn't strong, tell him about the countless occasions when she almost gave up, but she couldn't do anything but stare at him. Levi looked her straight in the eyes and said: "There are some things we can't control" And that was when it hit her. She knew that he wasn't as bad as she first thought when she met him and she also knew that he wasn't as flawless and hero-like as she expected before. But after seeing him comforting dying soldiers and people like her, she couldn't help but be interested in knowing more. What he told her that day stuck with her, it haunted her for a while and she couldn't fully grasp why she cared so much until she saw him the next morning desperately scrubbing the kitchen table with unnecessary force. Before he could notice her presence, she ran off and just cried. She didn't understand exactly why at the moment, but the sight of him made her feel almost empty, defeated. She finally knew what he meant. He was much more broken that she could've ever imagined, but he was really good at keeping his nonchalant façade. So she started paying closer attention, examined his every order and move until she could get a closer depiction of his true self. In doing so, she discovered that the captain had a bit too many flaws, but in her eyes: they weren't enough to obscure his good side. Levi was cynical, cold, tactless, a bad strategic, cunning, manipulative, short-tempered… she could go on forever, but his qualities made it up for her. She found him often caring, honest, understanding, and sometimes even kind. Petra couldn't quite pinpoint what it was about him that drew her closer, but she knew that she couldn't stop, not anymore. It was weird because she thought that in writing down the good and bad attributes he held she could finally convince herself that while he was a good soldier but a horrible captain, sometimes a good man but others a deplorable human being, he wasn't right for her. And still, looking at how long one list was in comparison to the other, she couldn't back down. She hoped it was just a child-like admiration, a crush. But after a year of longing and incredibly specific dreams that left her breathless in the morning, she knew it wasn't just a superficial attraction. So ignoring her better judgment, she tried to figure out if he cared for her as much as she did for him.
Secondly, by sheer cleverness, she made sure to arrange plenty of situations in which the two of them were alone together or at least with very little company.
At the beginning she would just bring him coffee or tea to his room at night. She knew that he stayed up as much as he could, and that even if he was sleeping, the lightest of sounds would just wake him up in an instant.
The first time she did it he was quite grateful, but reluctant non-the-less. She softly knocked on his door and was surprised at how sharp his hearing was when just seconds later, he opened it. His glare was so intense that she was left speechless for a moment too long.
"Why are you here?" he asked in a not-particularly-happy tone.
Snapping back to reality at the sound of his voice, she looked down at the steaming mug in the tray she was holding, and matter-of-factly replied: "I brought you some coffee, sir. I thought you might need it considering all the research Hanji-san gave you" She remembered the other woman's presence that morning quite precisely, but she actually hadn't exactly thought of an excuse for her beverage offering until she met his disapproving stare. Thankfully, she wasn't as starstruck as she had been months before. Or at least, she was better at hiding it.
His expression shifted completely when he heard her response, but he didn't take much time before putting his unamused mask once again. "Oh… Thank you… That's… nice" He took the mug from the tray and promptly closed the door on her face. 'Well, that went well' she thought to herself. The encounter had been incredibly unproductive, but as more coffee filled nights came by, she learned something new about him: as much as he liked to deny it, he enjoyed routine and was quite bothered by change. This was especially true when the change was something he couldn't control, something he didn't have any influence in creating. Petra realized this one day that she forgot to go by his room (or most likely, decided not to). Right on time, at the exact moment she knocked on his door every night, he knocked on hers. She couldn't possibly figure out how he could've possibly known that she wasn't going to visit him that day, but what struck her the most was the fact that he remembered that she wasn't feeling particularly well that day and thus had made her some herbal tea in order for her to get better. She almost shed a tear, but stopped herself so he wouldn't think she was going mad. He stayed all night with her until the abdominal pain subdued and she fell asleep.
The third and last thing she realized about him was how much weight the relationships he shared with the other Scouting Legion's veterans had on him.
For starters there was Erwin. The Commander and the Captain were incredibly close, but not in the way she had first expected. Yes, the only person that Levi trusted completely and without a matter of doubt was him. She knew that whatever happened in the past that made him change his mind about not following the rules and joining the Scouting Legion leaving everything else behind, had something to do with the Commander (if not all). But she also knew that outside of strictly laboral discussions and obligations they didn't know much about each other, or at least: Levi didn't know much about Erwin. She found it incredibly hard to read the Commander, and it wasn't because she didn't have enough interactions with him, the problem was that he was too complex, too mysterious. One day he would be the most charming man on earth and the next he could be a psychotic strategic. To be quite honest, the only reason why she trusted his decisions was because Levi did so as well. At first she had wanted to scream at him, to tell him that sending so many people to die (and doing it knowingly) was wrong, no matter how aware those people were about the danger. But she had to contain herself, she couldn't let them think that she was immature or that she wasn't detached enough to make strategic decisions for the greater good of humanity. So she stayed quiet, she followed orders and tried not to protest against unfair decisions. That didn't mean she had changed her mind, though. But after a particularly embarrassing outburst that she had about some future plans for an expedition, she had decided to keep things under wraps. That time she had thought she was alone, screaming at her own room, but she had been wrong.
"Is that really how you feel about Erwin?" Levi asked. She turned to him completely mortified. She couldn't possibly say 'no', she had already spoken too much. There was no turning back. "Yes… sir"
"Why didn't you tell me about this?"
She took a moment before answering, but when she did she did it with a calm manner that he didn't quite expect. "I apologize, sir. But I didn't think it would be fair to bother you with my worries when you clearly trust the Commander so much"
"Well, I'm your captain. I don't ask you to tell me about personal issues, but if something specifically related to the Scouting Legion is troubling you, you should be able to tell me"
"I'm sorry, sir. It won't happen again"
He was making his way out when he stopped in his tracks and turned around. "Petra, this is a very serious matter, you shouldn't just stay put and follow orders, and if you feel like you don't agree with the Scouting Legion's methodology then you should probably do something about that. I wouldn't want you to die in vain"
She only stared at the floor in response, waiting for him to leave. Of course he did just that only minutes later, but that didn't stop her from thinking that perhaps he wasn't that happy with the way Erwin managed things either. She shook that thought completely though, but it still left a bitter taste in her mouth.
In second place was Hanji. His relationship with her was much more casual than with Erwin, but on the surface it was still mainly professional. What had first clued her into their closeness was how Hanji played along with his poop jokes and tactless comments that she guessed he thought were somewhat funny. In return, he nicknamed her and treated her as if she was the most annoying person in the planet. But she knew that in his world that meant that he cared. And that was why she was getting more and more convinced that he didn't care half as much for her as she did for Hanji. Not that she was jealous, no; at least, not in a romantic way. She did envy how casually they talked to each other, how much they knew the other person's mood by just making a quick comment.
Thirdly was Mike. She hadn't witnessed many interactions between her captain and the squad leader, but from what she saw she could tell that there was history between them. Of course, that was a given considering how long they had all been together in the Scouting Legion, but apart from that there was still something peculiar between them. His relationship with Mike was quite similar to the one he shared with Erwin and that intrigued her beyond belief. She knew that Levi didn't trust Mike was much as he did the Commander, but when they were on expeditions together, when they would both work to kill the same objective; she could tell they shared a truly meaningful bond.
In the case of Nanaba and the rest of the veterans, she couldn't quite pinpoint it, but just like with the other three, Levi had a special connection to them. Be it because they had all lived through many tragedies together or because they had truly become friends to some extent, she couldn't quite tell.
But the one thing she was positive about: as much as he pretended not to care about anyone whatsoever, Levi wouldn't have possibly survived that long without them. Nor mentally nor physically (as good as he was). She could see it in the determination in his face as he urged dying soldiers about how their passing would only make him stronger and more able to kill titans. She saw it in his incredibly ill timed and awkward poop jokes. He was the kind of person that liked to pretend to be colder and calculating that he could ever be when in reality every time someone close to him died a part of him went with them. The fact that he had poor social skills only added to the problem of people thinking that he was a cold-hearted bastard 24/7.