Romance Wanted: Dead or Alive
Disclaimer: Gargoyles is not mine. I just love it. A lot.
Rating: M (sexual situations, violence)
A/N: The first Gargoyles fic I've written in about three years, posted at Demona Taina's request. Slightly AU: what would have happened if there had been no Hunter's Moon? No Jason Canmore. No return to the castle. No Kiss. Would Goliath and Elisa have still got together? And if so, under what circumstances?
It was almost sunrise, but Elisa still hadn't arrived, and Goliath was pacing anxiously backwards and forwards in front of the great clock that topped the 23rd Precinct House. It was unlike her not to stop in and see him, especially given that tomorrow was her night off.
The other members of the clan noticed his agitation and guessed its cause, but remained silent. Their leader's feelings for their human friend weren't exactly a well-kept secret, nor hers for him, but neither of them seemed willing to admit to how they felt, even to each other, and so the rest of the clan pretended to be unaware of a situation which they would have had to have been blind and deaf not to have noticed.
The sound of running footsteps approaching brought Goliath up short, and he turned with a smile as Elisa emerged onto the rooftop.
"Whew, thought I'd miss you!" she remarked. "How is everyone? Good night?"
"Better for seeing you," Goliath remarked, and she smiled back as the rest of the clan looked on, knowing that the pair would be oblivious to their audience. "You are looking forward to your night off?"
Something – doubt? Uncertainty? – flickered across the detective's face before her grin widened.
"Yeah, as a matter of fact. I have a date."
"A… date?" Goliath did not recover his smile quite so quickly, and their audience drew a collective breath.
"Yeah. With a guy from days."
"That is… wonderful, Elisa. I am sure you will enjoy yourself."
"Yeah. Um…". She bit her lip. "Well, I just wanted to let you know that I wouldn't be at my apartment tomorrow."
"Of course. I will see you another night."
"Well, okay."
The sky was lightening noticeably, and the other gargoyles began to edge towards their roosts, trying not to disturb their leader and his friend.
"I… it is almost sunrise. I will see you another night." Goliath turned away, seeming unaware that he had just repeated himself, and took his place, leaving Elisa standing behind him feeling more than a little guilty.
…
Her date was a classic dinner-and-a-movie, and it should have been great, but all through the evening Elisa was subtly aware that something was wrong. Adam was a nice enough guy – good-looking and attentive, and suitably appreciative of her Little Black Dress – but every time her gaze met his, or his hand not-so-accidentally brushed hers she found herself looking away.
He slipped his arm around her shoulders during the movie, and the thought solidified in her mind that, quite simply, he didn't do anything for her.
He didn't seem to be having the same problem, keeping his arm about her as they left the theatre and hailed a cab.
"Where to?" the driver asked, and Elisa gave her address. Adam leaned in to kiss her neck as she did so and she tried to slide away without being too obvious about it.
He didn't seem to be getting the message and she was relieved when the taxi pulled up outside her apartment.
"Well, this is me." She managed to pull back. "So, I'll see you later." She meant to kiss his cheek but he had other ideas, pulling her into a probing kiss.
She pushed him away and got out, shoving a twenty at the driver to cover her share of the fare as she did so.
She heard the cab pull away as she rooted about in her purse for her keys and gave a small sigh of relief. She had been losing patience with Adam's pawing.
Suddenly, she felt arms encircle her from behind.
"So, aren't you going to ask me up for coffee?" Adam's voice asked, right in her ear.
"Adam, uh," she turned to face him, trying to push his arms away but not having much luck. He was stronger than she was, and the thought suddenly crossed her mind that she could be in trouble here. "Listen," she went on, struggling to stay cool. "It's been fun, but let's not ruin a good evening-"
"Who said anything about ruining it?" His hands slid down her back to grab her ass and squeeze, pulling her tight against him. He had a hard-on, and the thought nearly made her sick. This was getting serious. "Damn Elisa, you are so sexy," he moaned, rubbing up against her and running one hand up under her skirt, and she realised that she was running out of options.
"Adam." Her tone was hard now, warning.
"C'mon baby, you know you want to."
She drew a deep breath, forcing herself to relax for a moment, letting him lower his guard, feeling his mouth demanding on her neck as his hand fumbled in her underwear. He moved his other hand up to press between her shoulder-blades.
That was the opening she had been looking for, and she stepped back smoothly, one knee slamming unerringly into his groin once, then again. He doubled over and she shoved him with enough force to bring him to the ground before racing for her apartment.
She fumbled her key into the lock with shaking hands, bursting through and slamming the door behind her, relaxing only when it was dead-bolted with the security chain firmly in place.
Still trembling, she made her way to the sofa, but dropped down to sit on the floor instead, pressing her back against it and drawing her knees up to her chest. A single thought formed, unfinished, in her mind: 'Goliath would never…'
She drew a deep, shuddering breath and began to cry.
…
The thought of Elisa on her date stayed with Goliath all night. Grimly he reminded himself that she was not his, had never been his, that he had no right to feel for her as he did, let alone feel such jealousy towards her new companion. He wished that he could believe it.
He realised suddenly that he was very close to her apartment and stopped, torn. Surely she would be home by now, he wondered. Yes, but she might not be alone. His heart contracted painfully at the thought that she might have chosen to take this man to her bed, but he realised that he had to know.
Determined that, no matter what the outcome, she must never know that he had ever been there, he headed resolutely towards her apartment.
There was no light showing at her windows apart from the dim glow of the lamp that she kept set on a timer. Was that a good sign, he wondered, or a bad one? He touched down lightly and edged towards the window.
Relief was the first thing to hit him when he saw that she was alone, but then his heart seemed to skip a beat. Why was she on the floor? Was she-? He sharpened his ears, and a single sob confirmed his fears. Elisa was crying.
All thought of concealment left him and he reached for the window, finding it, as always, unlocked.
"Elisa!"
He was across the room in an instant and on his knees in front of her.
"Elisa," he repeated in a softer voice, laying one hand on her shoulder. "What has happened?"
…
Elisa heard the window open, heard Goliath's voice calling her name, and realised that this was exactly what she had been hoping for. Goliath, her guardian angel. A moment later he dropped to his knees in front of her and she felt his hand come to rest on her shoulder.
"Elisa, what has happened?"
At his soft question she drew a deep breath, swallowed one last sob, and raised her head to meet his gaze.
"I'm okay, Goliath," she managed, hating how small her voice sounded.
"What happened?" he asked again. There was such concern in his eyes.
"My date…" she trailed off.
"Your date?" he repeated, puzzled, and then a look of horror dawned on his face, and he clutched both her shoulders, hard. "Elisa, did he-". He broke off, unable even to form the word.
She shook her head. "No, not that." He relaxed visibly, loosening his grip. "He was just a little… persistent." She hung her head. "I wish you'd been there," she finished softly.
"Oh Elisa." He gathered her close. Later, later he would give vent to the anger that was surging through him, when he could arrange to be alone somewhere with something to pulverise. For now, however, he wrapped her in his arms and let her bury her face in his shoulder.
"Shush, hush," he whispered to her. "I'm here now. You're safe, Elisa."
She turned her face into his neck, breathing in the familiar, comforting scent of him. Leather, and stone dusk, and faint male muskiness. One of his hands cradled the back of her head, kneading lightly. She felt the tension draining out of her until, with a final sigh, she relaxed completely. Still Goliath continued to hold her, and she gradually became aware of just how quiet it was in her apartment. She could hear Goliath's breathing and, faintly, the beat of his heart, surprisingly rapid beneath her ear.
Shifting slightly, she focused on the feeling of his body against hers. Yes, he was definitely tense.
"I'm okay, Goliath," she murmured against his neck, seeking to reassure him now. "I took care of it."
He grumbled in his chest, a low, unhappy sound.
"You should not have had to 'take care of it'," he responded. "I thought that the purpose of a date was courtship. Romance."
She smiled sadly at that. "You and me both. I guess romance is dead, huh Big Guy?"
"No." His voice was still soft, but the negation came at once. "If he mistreated you then he was unworthy of you. You deserve so much more than that, Elisa."
"I wish I could believe it. Adam was the first guy to ask me out in over a year." She gave a bitter sigh. "Guess I should have known better than to think he was after anything other than sex."
The phone rang as Goliath struggled to frame a suitable response. He had never heard his friend sound so defeated, so bitter and cynical. He would have done almost anything to lift her spirits, but he was terrified that whatever he did would be the wrong thing.
He raised his head at the shrill ring, but Elisa only pushed her face further into his neck.
"Let the machine get it," she muttered. It kicked in a moment later.
"Elisa, you cock-teasing bitch. What the hell is your problem? I take you out, I treat you nice, and you won't even say thank you. Screw you, you frigid bitch."
The message cut off as the phone was slammed down on the other end, and Goliath rose to his feet with a growl, lifting Elisa in his arms, wings flaring, eyes flashing white with rage.
"How DARE he! How dare he speak to you like that! How dare he imply that your affections can be bought, that you are somehow in his debt!"
His tail was lashing in agitation, and she reached up to cup his cheek with her hand.
"Goliath! Goliath, look at me."
The glow in his eyes faded as his gaze met hers, but his face was still set in lines of anger, jaw clenched, nostrils flaring.
"He's a jerk, okay? An idiot. But you can't just fly off the handle like this Goliath, you can't. Please Big Guy." Her voice grew softer. "I can't deal with this tonight. Not on top of…" she gestured towards the phone and felt his shoulders slump.
"Of course. Forgive me, Elisa. It is just that you deserve so much better."
She just looked away and sighed, staring into space for a moment. Suddenly, she became aware that her skirt had hitched up and the arm supporting her lower body was resting against the bare skin of her thighs. Belatedly, she blushed.
"I, uh, guess I should go and get changed."
He looked down at her, taking in her attire for the first time that night.
"Of course." He set her on her feet. "Shall I make us something to drink?"
"Cocoa?"
He nodded, and she smiled slightly and headed towards her bedroom.
"Elisa?" he called after her, and she paused in the doorway, looking back at him. "For what it is worth, you look beautiful tonight."
She smiled again, a little less sadly this time, and headed for the bathroom.
He heard water running as he methodically gathered the ingredients for cocoa, carefully following the instructions that she herself had given him in the past, and guessed that she was taking a shower. He shook his head in frustration. If she were with him…
If she were with him, this would never have happened. Not because he did not desire her, but because it was inconceivable to him that their shared pleasure could ever be the result of anything other than the sweetest of seductions.
He closed his eyes. There was a moment there when he had feared that she had been violated, and in that instant his love for her had been almost overwhelming in its intensity. He thanked whatever gods were listening that she had been spared that, that she – brave, lion-hearted woman that she was – had been able to defend herself, but still he wanted nothing more than to take her in his arms and show her so gently, so tenderly, that romance was indeed alive and well.
Meanwhile, in the shower, Elisa let the warm water run over her body like a caress. Goliath. Sweet, protective Goliath. She had seen the fear in his eyes when he had though that she had been raped, and her heart seemed to swell with love for him. Deep within her she knew that he would have killed Adam, given a chance, killed him for hurting her, for making her afraid, for touching her when she had said no. The thought should have frightened her, but it only made her love him more.
She stepped out of the water and towelled herself dry, then stood resolutely in front of the mirror and gave herself a stern talking to.
'No more games, Maza. No more running from the truth. You're never going to meet another guy like him. He's the best thing that ever happened to you, and it's about time that you accepted that. So let him in. Just for once, lower your guard and let him in.' She smiled. 'Let him show you what you deserve.'
She emerged a short while later to find him seated on the sofa with two steaming mugs of cocoa on the table in front of him. He rose with a smile when he saw her.
"You appear much refreshed," he remarked, gesturing for her to be seated.
"I feel better," she replied, lifting her mug and smiling gratefully as she took a sip, closing her eyes in bliss. "Mmmm, good. Thanks for making this, Big Guy."
"You're welcome." He sat next to her and reached for his own mug, not touching her now that she appeared calmer.
She set her mug down and turned to face him, kneeling on the sofa and drawing a deep breath.
"I was thinking, Big Guy."
"Oh?" He set his own mug aside, turning towards her.
"Yeah. And… I think I made a decision."
"What about?"
"This." And she laid one hand on his cheek and leaned in to kiss him softly.
After an endless moment she pulled back, eyes searching his face.
"You said I deserve more, Goliath. Show me what I deserve."
"Oh Elisa." He drew her close, guiding her head to rest upon his shoulder as he stroked her hair. "You have no idea how much I long to do just that. To take you in my arms and love you so tenderly. But not like this." She tensed, and would have pulled away, but he held her fast. "You mean the world to me Elisa, and it would be wrong, so very wrong of me, to take advantage of you tonight."
She drew a shuddering breath, and he shook his head. "No, don't cry," he whispered. "Not now, not ever. Oh Elisa, I love you so very much."
She raised her head and sniffed. "Then why-"
"Because I love you so very much." He brushed her cheek with his talons, kissed away the tracks of her tears. "Another night, Elisa, if that is still what you want, then I will give you all that you could desire, and more. But not tonight. Not tonight, my love."
She nodded reluctantly, and sniffed again. "Seems like all I'm doing tonight is crying," she observed.
He smiled gently, and kissed her cheek again. "Then cry, Elisa. They are only tears."
She leaned against him again, eyes closed.
"I'm just so tired of fighting," she whispered after a moment, and Goliath could hear the pain in her voice. "I'm just so tired of pretending I'm not in love with you when I am. I'm tired of telling myself how stupid this is because, let's face it, what's stupider? Being in love with a gargoyle, or letting myself be used by someone I don't love at all. What's worse, Goliath? Being with a human I don't love, or with a gargoyle that I do?"
Goliath's heart was racing painfully in his chest. "You… love me?"
She nodded her head.
"Even before Adam started mauling me, I was asking myself what I was doing with him. I guess I was just trying to kid myself that I could want someone else when I just…" she drew a deep, tear-laden breath. "When I just want you," she finished.
"Oh Elisa." He pushed her back slightly, so that they were face to face once again, searching her face as he raised one hand to caress her hair and cheek.
She gave a small smile, and his hand slipped back into her hair, cradling her head, and his lips moved to press gently against hers – human custom, but it felt so right – and he kissed her tenderly, passionately, before laying his cheek against hers, whispering love-words in her ear, almost crooning to her.
"My love, my Elisa. I love you too, so very much. My heart, my life. Be mine, Elisa."
Elisa's heart soared at his response, and she laughed through her tears, turning her face to kiss him back, her hands tangling his hair as though she had always caressed him so. Then she paused and drew back, and he stopped too, his gaze meeting hers as her smile faded in confusion.
"But I thought… you turned me down, Goliath. I thought-"
"I thought it was mere comfort that you sought," he admitted. "And I could not bear that. I could not bear to give myself to you, only to see you regret it later."
She shook her head. "That's not-"
He raised one talon to touch her lips, silencing her. "I know," he whispered, then paused for a moment. "Tell me, my love, what do you deserve from me?"
She lowered her gaze, pulling away from his hand. "I don't know."
"Then shall I tell you?" She nodded, and he leaned his face close to hers once again to alternate between whispering in her ear and kissing her face and neck.
"You deserved to be loved with my whole heart. To know that I will always be there for you, not matter what. To know that I would never hurt you, or frighten you. To know that you mean the world to me, and that I am yours, Elisa. Through this life and into whatever comes next, I am yours. Forever."
"Forever," she repeated, turning her face into his kisses, capturing his lips before pulling back to capture his gaze. "I like the sound of that."
"And you, Elisa. Will you love me forever?"
She tightened her arms around his neck, hugging him close. "Forever and a day," she whispered back. "Forever and a day."