It was the same. Always the same. Wake up. Make breakfast. Wake up the kids. Eat Breakfast. Get the kids ready for school. Make the kids' lunches. Bring the kids' to school. Walk to the park. Sit on their bench. Go home. Do chores. Pick up the kids. Make supper. Help the kids with homework. Get the kids ready for bed. Put the kids to bed. Stare at her old pictures. Cry just a bit. Go to bed.
Every single day Ino did the same thing. The exact same routine. It was the only thing that kept her grounded. Without her routine she would drift and float and drown. She would suffocate and lose herself in an endless swirl. She had to hold onto something and this was it.
Her rock that kept her from slipping below the surface. Her one constant in the insane torrent. People lamented the now drab almost invisible girl. She was once so vibrant, so full of life. Once in a time that seems so fake, some sort of dream that everyone had, she was loud and happy and crazy. She was alive.
She clutches her rock, her constant, her routine with both hands, holds on for dear life. It won't last forever. Soon she'll be swept away. Soon the dam will break and it will all come crashing down. Soon.
In a break from her routine (But only a minor break. Too much and she'll lose it.) Sakura comes to visit. The kids are at school and Sakura has come to talk. Sakura chats about things that have no meaning and Ino washes her dishes. Her eyes focused on the soapy water, the small bubbles that pop as she touches them. Sakura's eyes burn her back. She wants to know how she is. Ino stops and smiles. So fake, so painful. She can feel her face breaking as she turns to face Sakura.
"I'm great. Though sometimes," And here she lets out a small laugh. A laugh that sounds like music. A sick, twisted music. Like an orchestra that has never played before and are choking on themselves. "I feel like a single mother." Sakura's eyes darken and she stares at Ino like she is a stupid child who doesn't understand something as simple as 2+2.
"Ino," She says slowly and deliberately, so that Ino the mentally retarded child can understand. "You are a single mother." Ino shakes her head like it's Sakura who is the stupid one and turns back to her dishes. Sakura lets out a sigh and leaves without a word. Ino continues her chores and forgets all about Sakura's words. Because if she dwells on them too long, she just might start to believe them.
And if she starts to believe them then everything will just tumble down and disappear. She shuts out Sakura and her silly, meaningless words and believes what she wants to. Because she is delicate and fragile and Sakura's words are razor sharp and are intended to inflict pain. They slice and dice and leave only a pile of remains so torn apart that they don't mean a thing.
Ino cradles her lies and lets them fuel her.
It's like a fire. An all consuming fire that swallows everything. A choking black smoke that fills the senses. Making the throat burn and the eyes blur. The head starts spinning in circles and soon the breathing stops and blackness takes over. Ino will not let that happen. If she gives in, if she lets them win it will take her. Burn her; leave her a mess of charred remains.
Ino is not ready (not yet, not yet). She douses the flames with her tears. Only a few each night. Not because she has accepted their twisted reality but because of all the wasted time. They spiral and sparkle on her pale, pale cheeks. They wet her pillow and the salty tang lingers always in her mouth.
She takes short, gaspy breaths so she won't just die. Because one day she will rub it in their faces. One day she will laugh at them. One day.
Ino sits on the park bench and watches all the happiness float by. Smiles and whispered words drift by in a haze and loud laughter hurts her ears. She tries to vanish, to sink into the darkness and let the vile noise bounce and deflect off her.
This is her sacred place. She comes to remember and to rebuild her faith. To stabilize the crumbling walls. To reconfirm all the lies she feeds off of.
She prays for silence and for noise. The noise is loud and brings it all bubbling to the surface in a rage of emotions that threaten to spill over but the silence leaves her open and vulnerable, bleeding all over.
Every day she slips a little bit farther. They all see it but they can't stop it. They try and fail and she hides behind twisted smiles and the concrete walls of lies and dreams she has built herself.
The rumours and words (stupid useless meaningless words) fly around her. Wrapping her in a cocoon. They say she is insane. She has lost her mind. She is a broken, empty shell. Only an image of the former girl. The lovely, smiling, happy girl.
She barely registers it. She is content in her own safety net. The fantasy world in which they are all wrong and she is right. She is not alone. She is a not a single mother. He is coming back. He is and she knows it. Kiba will come back and they will be happy again.
They will laugh and kiss and raise their children. They will get lost in their love and everything will be perfect.
But until then, Ino will stay as she is. Comfortable in her net of lies and dreams. Until then.
A.N. Okay so tell me what you think! I would love your feed back!!!!