水守護程序

(Water Demon)

At some point everyone has had a death wish, even if they don't remember it, or want to admit it. There is always a point when they realize they might be better off dead.

Some people act on this knowledge.

They try, either successfully or unsuccessfully, to destroy themselves, and stop the hurting.

But others, others use this realization as motivation. They dig down deep, to the very heart of their being, and discover that at their core their resolve is made of something that is impenetrable and unshakeable. And with that knowledge, they take off into the deepest, darkest places in their mind and confront their demons. They drag them, kicking and clawing, out into the light, and expose them for what they truly are.

But in the end, unfortunately, sometimes the demon is all that 's left.

River Tam peered out the open bay door, unsure of what her next move would be. She knew what she had done was wrong. She knew there was no way Simon would be able to forgive her this time, even though he was her brother. Surely the Captain would throw her off the ship for good after this, unless she did it first. Running, jumping, falling, flying, squish, end of the voices…

Rain poured down, and the trees flew by just feet below the open bay. Her face splattered from the droplets of water spraying in through the open hatch. Small puddles formed where her dress dripped water onto the floor. Little streams flowed back into the ship, lost among the countless crates of cargo. The sound of the engines, and the wind, and the torrential rain mixed into a howl as it whipped through the cargo hold.

"I hate campfires." She says.

Suddenly she realizes that she doesn't just hate campfires, she hates the idea of campfires, the need for them, of living outside, of being forced to live outside, reliant on someone to provide heat and food, reliant on Simon. Even now she must go to him every time her medicine needs changed, every time she starts to lose her mind. Simon is the only one who can stop the voices. But he can't hear them, doesn't really believe in them. But they are there, though less than before. Someone, somehow must silence the voices before they reach a crescendo of…

Suddenly there is hope, maybe it's not too late, and maybe the Captain won't throw her off the ship. A sudden thumping sounds from under the deck. It appears Jayne did grab hold of something before River threw him off the front of the cargo ramp. Jayne can barely hold on. Clinging to a soaked tow strap for dear life, bouncing against the bottom hull of the ship. River leans out further to pear down at Jayne. He glares back at her; his mouth spewing words that would make the Captain blush, but the wind tears them from his throat before they can reach River. If he ever gets back on Serenity, River knows he will never trust her again. She knows that she shouldn't be trusted again, and yet, it really wasn't her fault. Jayne did start the whole thing, didn't he? Stealing her roll at dinner last night. Punching Simon in the arm, saying he was just kidding.

"Yes." River thought, "Jayne Cobb deserves everything that has happened to him."

But judging by the language coming from Jayne's mouth, he doesn't appear to feel the same way.

"If you don't get me back in this Gorram boat right now I'll…" Jayne shouts, but he is cut off by the sound of the engines and the wind whipping past.

Jayne's fingers slip slowly down the strap. There's no chance of him climbing back in by himself. It's too slick, too cold, too wet. If only he hadn't grabbed that strap, he wouldn't be in this position. He'd already be finished, on the ground, cold, dead. Then, maybe, River could get some peace… wait, no. Simon wouldn't like that, River wouldn't like that, shouldn't like that, but…

"You Ching-wah tsao duh liou mahng!"

The Captain is yelling, he's always yelling, but not at her this time, at Simon. How dare he.

"Keep you're Fay-fay duh pee-yen mei-mei under control, or I'm going to throw her outta the Gorram airlock!" Mal informs Simon as he pushes past him toward River and the open ramp.

Mal, along with Simon, pulls Jayne back into the ship, but not before bouncing him off the hull several more times. Simon closes the open hatch, and the sound of the storm is shut out. Only the sound of water dripping to the deck breaks the silence. Simon turns to River angrily, but before he can say anything River cuts him off.

"He needed a shower, he smells."

River walks past the Captain, up the stairs to her room, singing quietly to herself as she goes. Jayne is soaked to the skin, and not happy about it. He's bruised and his hands are burned from holding on to the tow strap.

"Cap'n if she ever touches me again I swear, I'll…" Jayne says menacingly, but he's not very convincing in his current drowned rat state.

"You'll what, Jayne? She's a ninety pound girl, and she's kicked your sorry pigu at least three times this week." Mal responds and turns to Simon.

"Earn your pay, and patch up Jayne's hands, Doc. And keep a better eye on your feng mei-mei, I can't afford to lose Jayne on this mission, too much heavy lifting left to do."

Then turning back to Jayne, "And she was right, you do smell."

Mal winks and walks off without another word, leaving Jayne and Simon looking at each other. Jayne's face turns red and he glares at the back of Mal's head. Simon smiles at Jayne's reaction and chuckles, Jayne punches him square in the nose. "I don't smell…"

Take my love, take my land

Take me where I cannot stand

I don't care, I'm still free

You can't take the sky from me

Take me out to the black

Tell 'em I ain't comin' back

Burn the land and boil the sea

You can't take the sky from me

There's no place I can be

Since I found serenity

But you can't take the sky from me