Story: Once Upon a Mattress

Disclaimer: I don't own Once Upon a Mattress. If I did I would probably already have written the idea for a musical that's been floating around in the back of my head for months.

A/N: This story is based of the play Once Upon a Mattress we are doing a my school. At my school, there is a minstrel AND a jester. And the jester we cast is FEMALE. And the Wizard is REALLY short so they were able to shove him in the bed during rehearsal once. It was pretty funny. Sorry if some of this doesn't make sense to you, I based it off a play so it has the same general story line. Oh! And Larken's NOT pregnant!

A/N2: Me and my friend came up with this while we were backstage at one of our rehearsals. It originally started with the line Hiya Harry. I was being weird and said "Did you see how much love she put into that one sentence?" Then in true BFF form she played along and this came. And in the words of my bff: "Screw Larken!"

(she was referring to Fred's 'crush' on Harry.)

Behind the Dialogue

"Some lady, which lady?"

Oh how the jester hoped it was her. Maybe he saw her as more than just a crazy little girl… maybe just this once. She loved the king so much. Problems were, he was already married, and the minstrel had always been her best friend. She knew the minstrel had a crush on her.

"First syllable?"

"A bird!" And with 2 words her hopes were diminished.

"Hiya Harry!"

Sure, Winifred was excited about meeting her Prince Charming at last. Her happily ever after was about to arrive! But she'd never met the prince. She had met Harry a long time ago. And she had developed just the slightest crush on him. The only reason she wasn't so madly in love with him is the fact that all he talked about was Larken! But, she knew Harry and Larken's love was true so she would wait and get her happily ever after with the prince.

"And worst of all! That foolish boy actually seems to like her!"

The queen wasn't jealous of Winifred and her beauty like in Snow White. She was jealous of Dauntless. She wanted Winifred to herself. Enough said.

So if we go with as many happy ever after's as we can, we get:

Winifred spent so much time with Harry on their journey that they fell in love with each other.

Larken was incredibly heart broken and decided to finally reveal who her parents were. It turns out Larken was a true princess. By the time Larken could take the test they had gone through 17 princesses (18 including Fred) so she knew every test the queen could give. She ended up passing the test, of Sensitivity, with the help of the King, the Minstrel and the Jester. They shoved the wizard next to the pea under the mattress. Who needed the wizard? Larken was already good friends with Dauntless so she didn't mind marrying him. She was a good influence on Dauntless too. She eventually got him to stand up to his mother.

The jester's crush on the King eventually faded and she and the Minstrel lived happily ever after. (They eventually ended up having a kid who was born with a funny looking hat!) So in the end, everyone except the queen lived happily ever after.

She's still mute and fuming.

Haha. The end!