Hey all. It's been a while since I've posted anything for this fandom (and no, I haven't forgotten about SIGAR?), so be gentle. I feel a little rusty.

Also, I know that this is going to be 1/10347012931 pieces written about Pursuit, but I really appreciate you taking the time to read mine. Enjoy! :)

Note: Takes place directly after the hug, as Olivia is walking away.

Disclaimer: I don't own SVU or it's characters.

Partners Don't Hug

Fear is the only thing that keeps her moving down the corridor toward the exit, away from Elliot.

Her body has never ached like this before. A mix of loss, exhaustion, and need make her shoulders slump. Her feet drag when she is in most need of a quick getaway.

There's so much weight, so much pressure. Breathing isn't easy. And every time she inhales she smells him. His aftershave radiates off of her flushed skin and seeps into her nose, reminding her of the desperate way she wrapped her arms around his back and how his fingertips pressed through her coat as if to massage the hurt away.

That hug just happened, didn't it?

Without any hesitation, Elliot took her in his arms and tried to remove some of the unbearable weight hanging down all around her. And for a brief, brief moment it worked. She was able to take one deep breath—just deep enough to steady herself and tell him, "I'm fine."

But this time that verbal barrier—her go-to phrase that warns him she can't open up—cracked under his examination. He looked her in the eyes and saw the puffiness from her tears. He noticed the way her lip quivered with the bottled up sobs that she'll never let loose. He could tell that she is not fine, is nowhere near that state of mind, and called her out on lying to him. He called her out on lying to herself.

Olivia won't turn around, can't glance over her shoulder. What if he's watching her walk away? What if he's looking for some reason to follow her? What if all he needs is the okay from her—just a slight pause, a small falter in her stride—to offer the comfort of his arms again?

Her heart wouldn't be able to handle it.

You can only be so close to a person you love but will never have. There needs to be a buffer to ward off those deeper feelings that lead to trouble, that lead to questions without clear answers, that lead to regret. Elliot has never been the one to heed the invisible line between them that allows their unique relationship to work, the line that Olivia draws so that she can function and pretend that she doesn't harbor intense and sometimes overwhelming feelings for him.

She used to be so good at keeping Elliot at a distance. Partner used to be his only title. Then he became a friend. It wasn't long before she added the adjective "best" to that label. The question became: is he her partner and best friend, or her best friend and partner? For Olivia, there is a clear distinction between the two, but she remains unsure of the order. She knows that the job should come first, but after twelve years, the lines have blurred to the point of needing a magnifying glass to see the tiny chasm that separates them.

Olivia is sure of one thing. Partners don't hug.

The thought that there may be more to their embrace than comfort and reassurance propels her forward, needing to get outside a little faster.

She can't do this. Not right now. Not on top of everything else that has happened in the past few hours.

Sonya Paxton is dead. Olivia felt the ADA's life, her blood, slipping through her fingers. The whole world seems to be crumbling and trying to crush her, but Elliot came to pull her above the rubble and into his arms. Olivia can't ponder all the subtext underneath that hug, can't even begin to analyze why he said, "I should've come back sooner."

Her only plan of action is to walk away and rebuild the buffer zone; layer the sandbags inside her chest to keep her grief in and his concern out. The two emotions that normally go hand-in-hand don't mix well in her bloodstream. If she's not careful, she'll overdose on the bittersweet high that comes from knowing Elliot cares.

If she's not careful, Olivia will lose the last piece of her heart to a married man.

A/N: I'm thinking of writing a follow up chapter about Elliot's feelings post-hug. Then we'll see where it goes from there. :)

Reviews are loved and appreciated!

ETA: Thank you TangoSVU for catching my error!