Don't really know what the fuck this is, but oh well. Enjoy.
"Oh, for fuck's sake."
James glanced at Sirius, putting down his toast. Sirius was staring up at the sky, an annoyed look on his face.
James looked up, chuckling at what he saw.
A black owl was swooping towards them, a scarlet letter clutched in it's mouth.
"That's your owl, isn't it Padfoot?" Remus asked, catching sight of the bird.
"Not mine. My dear mothers'. I wonder what foul delights she sends this time." Sirius replied sarcastically, holding out his hand.
The owl landed next to Sirius, dropping the letter into his hand.
Sirius examined the bright red envelope, laughing again.
"Howler." he confirmed, rolling his eyes.
The whole Hall had quietened upon the owl's arrival, all eyes on Sirius and the letter.
"Fuck this." he said, pulling out a silver lighter from his robes.
He held the trembling envelope out in his hand, and ignited the gas, holding it to the paper.
It went up immediately, ash tumbling onto Sirius' plate. An odd screeching sound emitted it before it went up completely, blowing ash in every which direction.
The whole room was staring at Sirius in awe and shock at what he had just done.
Again, he chuckled, leaning back in his seat and pocketing the lighter.
James broke the silence.
"Your mother is going to have your head."
Again, Sirius laughed, turning around and glancing around the Hall.
"Alright, show's over! You can go back to your food now!" he yelled.
The chatter resumed straight away.
"That's alright. She can put it next to the elves. Be a nice addition to the place." he answered absentmindedly, turning back to his friends.
Remus raised his eyebrows.
"You're not the least bit afraid of her reaction?" he asked.
"Oh, she won't find out for another day at least. I'm sure dear Reg will be writing to her to inform her of this terrible family dishonour I committed. So any normal day, really. You have at least another 24 hours with me." Sirius joked, winking cheekily at the two boys in front of him.
"Peter is going to piss his pants when he hears about this." James muttered.
Sirius smiled.
"Old bat. She should have just drowned me at birth." he continued, picking up a goblet of pumpkin juice and swirling it around.
"Don't say that, Sirius." Remus said quietly, sadness in his voice.
"Why not? I know she'd kill me if she had the chance. I can see it in her eyes when she..well, when he speaks to me. She doesn't make eye contact all that often. Says I make her ill." he answered cheerily, seemingly oblivious to the awkward tension that had settled on the table.
Sirius glanced at the Teacher's table.
"You think Minny would have a fit if I lit up a smoke right now?" he mused, placing the goblet back down in favour of retrieving the lighter and sparking it up, a glint in his eyes.
James snorted at the thought, picking up a piece of toast.
"Mate, she'd have a stroke. After she got you expelled." he responded through a mouthful, his voice slightly muffled.
"Oh come on, James. You know she loves me really. I mean, look at her. You see the love in her eyes?"
All three looked over at Professor McGonogall. She noticed them instantly, and fixed Sirius with a steely glare.
They quickly turned back.
"Yeah, definitely mate. I can feel the love." James agreed, raising an eyebrows and anxiously messing up the back of his hair.
"She just has to pretend so the student body doesn't realise and get jealous. They all want a piece of this." Sirius grinned, gesturing to himself. He then chanced a look back over at a still glaring McGonogall, winking at her. She shook her head, turning back to her breakfast.
"Sirius, shut up and eat your food." Remus laughed.
"But it's all ashy." Sirius complained, looking down at the remains of his mother's Howler, covering his plate in a thick grey coating.
"So get another plate?" Remus suggested, gesturing to the mountains of food in front of them and chuckling.
"Nah."
Sirius got up, stretching, and smirked down at his friends.
"I'm gonna grab a nap. Free period this morning."
A look of bliss settled over his angular features, and he sauntered off in the direction of the dorms.
"You're supposed to use the period to study!" Remus called after his retreating figure.
Sirius' snort of disgust could be heard all the way through the Hall.
"Yeah, as if!"
Remus also had a free period that morning.
50 minutes through, he left the library to go rouse Sirius and make sure he got to second period. To his shock, when he was climbing the stairs, he heard the fine twangs of a guitar ringing through the air.
Remus knew Sirius had a guitar, one of many Muggle artefacts purchased to annoy his Mother, but had no idea Sirius actually knew how to play it. He took it to Hogwarts every year, so his Mother didn't smash it up, but neither Remus nor James had ever seen Sirius play a single string.
As he got closer to the room, he realised Sirius was singing along to the dark chords he was strumming. His usually cheery voice was dark as he angrily spat out words.
Rhyming words.
Remus pressed himself against the door, leaning his head against the ajar fixture so he could hear was Sirius was singing.
"Because Medusa has a heart of stone
She froze and ate my fucking bones
She thought that I'd be all alone
But with friends like these, oh fucking please
You scream my every fucking flaw
You lie to Reg 'bout what he saw
Your favourite weapon, Father's belt
My back has scars from every welt
You evil, stupid, fucking whore
You left me lying on the floor
You let me bleed, from wrists and knees
I tried to die, and you let me heave
You used the Torture curse on me
Over again, 'till I couldn't breathe
And when I tried to make you pleased
You lay down on top of me
You fucked me, fucked me
In every way possible
You took my innocence
Made me a sleaze
Oh please, oh please,
Just stop, oh please
You're already the death of me…"
Sirius' voice trailed off as he noticed a presence at the door, and so did the music.