Hey Guys, I'm back! This is probably going to be painful to read, but I hope you guys like it. It's set in the future and pretty AU. I'm a review whore, leave me some.
I have lived many years, to some an impossibly long life, to others a mere fraction of their own years.
But I do know that I have lived a full and happy life. I married my high school sweetheart, my soul mate, and together we had five wonderful children. They are all grown up and married with their own children, save for my youngest. My husband died some years ago of cancer, and now I find myself spending more and more time amongst all the boxes, revisiting memories of my younger days, old pictures and letters my husband penned all those years ago. My husband was a photographer, so we have boxes upon boxes of pictures, and now those are the things I cherish most. When my body is too weak to move, I sit in my chair in the front room, letting the warm sun wash over me and I start to drift away.
Lately, I think about those normal days, the mundane ones, but they are the ones that stick in my mind. Most recently, I found myself thinking of a day where my baby girl was still just a baby, and my oldest was just nine.
The shill ring of my alarm woke me with a start. Sighing, I reach over to hit the snooze before snuggling back into the warm arms of my husband of nine years, and lover of nineteen. My eyes flutter open to find your face, smooth from a recent shave, and relaxed in the peace of sleep. I gently wiggle out of your embrace, not wanting to wake you on your day off.
Turning my alarm off, I look over to the bassinet holding our new baby girl, Grace. She's only six months now, and already presents to be a heartbreaker like her mother with chestnut colored hair and deep blue eyes that captivate you the minute she opens her eyes to gaze up at you. She cooed at me, reaching her tiny arms up at me, and I smiled widely, scooping her up and perching her on my hip.
Placing a small kiss on her forehead, I pad into our oldest daughter. Madeline's, room. I stopped in her doorway for a second, watching her sleep. At nine years, she looks more and more like her father everyday. She possesses the dark blonde hair and warm brown eyes that her father dazzled me with all those years ago. Grace's soft gasp woke me from my reverie and I smile down at her before walking into the messy room and setting her down on Madeline's bed. I shake her sleeping form gently, whispering that it was time to wake up. I smile gently as she cracks open one eye before groaning and turning over. Laughing softly to myself I scoop Grace back up and pull Madeline's covers off, making a note to come back and make sure she's awake in a few minutes.
My next stop is my oldest son's room. Jacob. I walk in to find that he's already awake, buried in a book. I grin, knowing that he was defiantly my son. I also had a book in my hands when I was younger too. I was glad that at only eight, he was already an amazing reader. Upon hearing me come in, he looked up, a smile spreading across his face.
"Hey Mom, who's that with you?" He asked, placing a bookmark in his book and walking over to where I stood with Grace.
I only grinned in response, looking down at Grace who was cooing at her big brother. Jacob looked up at me for permission before taking Grace and holding her in his own arms. He was a great older brother, after having two other babies in the house before Grace, he knew exactly how to handle them.
"Hey, Jake? I'm gonna get the twins up, can you watch Gracie for a second?" I asked, getting a nod in response.
The twins were born five years after Jacob; they were somewhat of an unplanned surprise. They were only three years old, but already they knew how to get their father to do whatever they wished. Of course, he was going to have to curb that habit soon, or all the girls in the house would have him wrapped pretty tight around their pinky finger.
Musing to myself, I pushed open the door to the twins, Rachel and Matthew's, room. Rachel was already awake, singing to herself in her bed, while Matthew was sound asleep still. I walked over to Rachel's bed, reaching down to place a soft kiss on her forehead. She smiled brightly when she saw me, reaching up for me to pick her up. I swooped her up, giving her a raspberry on her stomach and delighting at the little giggle that I produced from it.
"Rach, wanna help me get your brother up?" I asked her, getting a vigorous nod in response. Setting her down on his bed, she proceed to prod her brother as hard as she could until he groaned and slowly opened his eyes to find his sister sitting on top of him. He tried to push her off, and I set Rachel down on the floor and looked over at my youngest son.
"Morning sweetie. Wanna go get daddy up for me?" I asked him, looking over at his sister as well. They both nodded in unison and ran from the room into my room where I heard an 'oomph' and the immediate shrieks of children being tickled. I laughed to myself before going back into Madeline's room to find her trying to decide what to wear to school. She looked up at me, scowled, and then turned back to her closet. I sighed softly before going to get Grace and go down and make breakfast for everyone.
Arriving in the kitchen, I found that it was still a mess from the night before. Not a huge surprise as I had asked Troy and Jake to clean up that night, and more often than not they got distracted and the cleaning was never finished. Rolling my eyes, I put away the food left out from the night before and loaded up the dishwasher. Gracie sat in her highchair playing with her cheerios, throwing then at me and giggling as I bustled around the kitchen, readying breakfast for my family. I briefly wondered what to make for everyone, as everyone has different tastes, and it's nearly impossible to find something that all five of my children, and husband, will enjoy.
After about ten minutes of consideration, I finally settled on making strawberry waffles. I took out the mix and warmed up the frozen strawberries in the microwave. I wrestled out the waffle maker and started about mixing everything together and soon enough a giant stack of waffles had appeared on the counter with strawberries on the side. I set the table with plates and glasses filled with everyone's various favorite juices. Just as I poured myself a cup of coffee, I heard the distant voices of my two oldest, arguing no doubt. As soon as my children came running into the kitchen, I smiled and gestured towards the waffles and immediately Madeline and Jacob loaded their plates up and sat down at their designated places and began to eat, insulting each other playfully every few minutes or so.
Hearing a quiet cry from Grace, I remembered that she hadn't had her breakfast yet. I filled up a bottle of milk for her and warmed it up quickly and handed it to her, earning a delighted squeak in return. I grinned and walked over to the staircase to find Troy with a toddler wrapped around each leg, making his way carefully down the stairs. He grinned down at me, his eyes sparkling with the same love that sparkled at me for the past nineteen years. I laughed out loud and walked up the stairs to meet my husband and reached down and grabbed Rachel, lifting her up in the air and settled her on my hip, Jeff doing the same with Matthew. He reached over to kiss me good morning and I grinned, butterflies still flying around in my stomach after all these years. We walked into the kitchen together and put the toddlers in their respective high chairs and gave them each a waffle cut up into bite size pieces with strawberries on the side. Watching my family, I smiled to myself, wondering how I became so lucky. I glanced over at the time, and realized that the bus would be here for Jacob and Madeline in a matter of minutes.
"Mads, Jake, get your stuff together and get your butts out for the bus ok? And please don't forget your coats, it's cold out there and I don't need sick kids infecting the house." I gently chided them, placing a soft kiss on their foreheads. They nodded in response, getting up and taking their plates to the sink.
"Bye mom!"
"Love you!" I heard from the front room, and I smiled to myself.
"And Troy, you're taking Rach and Matt to preschool at eight right?" I asked, looking over at my husband, raising an eyebrow. He nodded in response, lifting Grace out of her highchair and going to change her diaper.
I looked over to the toddlers in question and saw that they had succeeded in getting strawberries all over their PJs, faces, and hands. I giggled and scooped them out of their highchairs and proceeded and to go upstairs and changed them into clean clothes and washed the sticky solution of their faces and hands. They giggled and talked to each other in their own toddler language. I took them down to the playroom where Troy was changing Grace into her clothes for the day. I grinned and placed the toddlers in their playpen with various stuffed toys.
"Hey, Troy, I'm going to shower really quick, and then I have to go into the office just until one and then I'll be home ok?" I smiled, walking over to where he sat, and leaned down to kiss him softly. "Just call if you need anything ok? I'll probably stop at the grocery store on my way home."
"That's fine. I think I'm going to hang out here with Gracie for the day after I drop off Rach and Matt at preschool." He clarified, bouncing Grace on his knee.
I walked into the kitchen, sighing at the mess that had ensued in a matter of minutes. Sighing, I put the dirty dishes in the sink, making a note to ask Troy to clean up while he was home all day.
Walking into my room, I grabbed a towel and my clothes for work. I had a case to be tried in court next week and I still had a lot of work to do.
After college I had continued on to establish my dream of becoming a human-rights lawyer. Soon after graduate school, I was offered a job with Amnesty International as their head lawyer, specializing in the UN laws as compared to government polices such as torture. It was a lot of work, but I loved it and wouldn't want to do anything else.
Troy also continued on with his dream of becoming a graphic designer and now worked for a big advertising agency designing billboards and the such for all kinds of companies. Recently, he just finished a big campaign for a sports wear company and soon I would be seeing his designs all over the city.
I jumped out of my shower and proceeded to get dressed and blow dry my hair when Troy came up behind me and wrapped his arms around my waist, placing soft kiss down my neck. I laughed and spun around and kissed him fully on the lips.
"Hey, where are the kids?" I asked, looking up at him through my eyelashes.
"Rachel and Matt are playing amongst themselves and Gracie is in her crib cooing to herself. Don't worry, they're fine." He assured me, brushing my hair back from face.
I sighed, trying to assuage the bubble of worry rising up in my chest. "I'm sure they're fine. Oh, and could you clean up the kitchen while you're home, since you didn't last night when I asked you too?" I asked, teasing gently.
He smiled, "Sure baby."
I smiled, kissing him again before pulling out of this grasp and continuing to finish getting ready. "I love you, you know that right?" I asked, knowing the answer. I smiled at him, seeing his reflection in the mirror.
"Of course, I love you more and more everyday." He grinning, kissing my cheek before going back downstairs to check on the kids.
Sighing, I affixed my earrings on and applied a quick coat of mascara before walking out and slipping my shoes on. I walked downstairs into my study to get together all the papers that I needed and packed them into my briefcase before grabbing my coat and gloves. I stopped in the playroom where Troy was getting the toddlers ready for preschool. I waved goodbye to him, and placed a soft kiss of each of the kid's foreheads.
Several hours later, I was home from work, and extremely happy to be so. The house was unusually quiet, and it worried me. Growing up in a household of four other children besides me, I knew that in such a large household, quietness is never a good sign.
I placed my bag down on at table and slipped my coat off, looking around for the toddlers, and the husband that should be watching them. I gently tip-toed up the stairs and peeked in Rachel's and Matthew's room to find them both sound asleep in their beds, curled up around their respective security stuffed toys. Rachel's was a stuffed pink elephant that my mother gave her when she first came home, and Matthew's was a pale yellow giraffe that Troy's mother gave him when he first arrived home with his sister. I smiled and closed their door, trying to keep the click from waking them up.
I slipped off my shoes and gently eased open to door to my room. Upon entering, I found my husband fast asleep, sprawled out on the bed, Gracie playing on a blanket spread on the floor. She looked up and saw me and let out a loud shriek. I smiled, and swept her up into my arms and placed a kiss on her forehead. I picked up a couple of her stuffed animals and placed them in her bassinet before placing her softly in it. Turning to my husband, I climbed into bed with him and kissed his cheek softly. He muttered something in his sleep and wrapped his arms around me, pulling me close. I smiled, looking over at the clock. Jacob and Madeline would be home in about an hour from school, so it wouldn't be too awful if I fell asleep for a little while.
I awoke to an empty bed and the sounds of children running around, shouting, downstairs. I pushed off the blankets and pulled my hair into a quick ponytail. Changing into a pair of loose jeans and an old tee shirt from my high school years. I walked downstairs to find Jeff tickling Rachel and Mathew, Jake sitting with Gracie, reading her a book, and Madeline was on the phone with a friend at the table. I smiled, watching my family, when Jacob looked up and saw me. He placed Grace on the couch and walked over to where I stood, giving me a hug.
"Hey mom, what's up?" He asked, looking up at me.
I raised an eyebrow, smiling, "Just trying to figure out what to make you guys for dinner. Why, what do you want?" I inquired.
Jake grinned, "What about spaghetti with meat sauce? We haven't had that in a while. And peas on the side or something."
"Actually, that sounds relatively easy, and you guys like that. I'll start the water now." I agreed, ruffling his hair.
I walked into the kitchen to find it was actually clean, and the spaghetti, ground meat, and sauce were already out. I shook my head, smiling, and took out the pot and filled it up with water and set it to boil. As I pulled out some lettuce to put together a quick salad, Jeff walked in with Gracie in his arms.
"Hey sweetie how was your day with the younger Boltons?" I asked, taking Grace from him and places her in her highchair, scattering some Cheerios on her tray.
"Exhausting, but Gracie and I had a good day together. We read for a little bit, and then she helped me clean up the kitchen and then we took a nap and got the twins from preschool, and then stopped off for ice cream before coming home and everyone getting bathes and then we took a nap." Troy explained, smiling. He came over and wrapped his arms around my waist, placing a kiss on my cheek.
I smiled, mixing the lettuce in with some tomatoes for the salad and setting it aside. Noticing that the water was boiling, I slipped out of my husband's embrace and slid the pasta into the pot, placing the lid on top. I proceeded to cook the meat and warm up the sauce before mixing it in with the pasta.
"Hey, Madeline, come set the table!" I called, setting out plates and silverware that was needed. Madeline came ambling into the kitchen, a phone balanced between her shoulder and ear. I smiled, handing her the plates before loading the pasta into a bowl and carrying it out to the table.
A few minutes later the family was gathered around the table, sharing their day's activities with each other and enjoying the dinner I had made for them. I smiled, looking around at the family I had helped to create, the family that I couldn't imagine living my life without.
When Madeline was first born, I was a mere 25, and had just graduated from college. It was extremely difficult to be in law school and raising a newborn daughter at the same time. And then about a year later, I had Jacob and found that while I had two infants to care for and also going through school to get my degree I wouldn't have changed anything for the world. I loved my family, and while they drove me crazy all the time I wouldn't want my life any other way. This household was insane, loud, and always chaotic. I don't know what people would sanely have three children under the age of five and work at the same time and somehow not go insane, yet somehow my husband and I accomplish it. I don't think it would be possible to do something like this without the love and support I got from him, and I know I couldn't do this if I didn't have him by my side because I loved him deeply, more and more everyday, just as I have that one fateful date nineteen years ago. I think back to those days sometimes when I lay in bed with him at night and wonder how I became so lucky to have him. He was my rock and I wouldn't want to change anything for the world with him. Sure, things were hard those first few years of our marriage, me becoming pregnant just a couple months into our marriage while we both neck deep in graduate work. It was one of the most difficult things I have ever done, and sometimes I would lay awake at night wondering how we would make ends meet at night and I would just look over at my husband fast asleep and I would know that everything was going to be ok. He was my knight in shining honor back when we were in high school and he was still my knight in shining honor today. I was in love with him more than anything in this world, and I am still just as madly in love with him today as I was when I was 17 and just beginning our life together, when I was 25 and just beginning my life as his wife, and now at 35 I was beginning my life with him as the mother of his children.
I woke from my thoughts to find that most of the afternoon had passed and that the sun was now lowering itself in the sky. I pushed myself up from my place in my chair and slowly shuffled into my bedroom where pictures of my family over the years cluttered the walls. I pulled out a photo album that weighed almost as much as I did, thick with pictures and memories that spanned over almost fifty years. I opened it up to the first page, tracing my finger over the dusty pictures of Troy and I as teenagers, this particular picture of our high school graduation. That summer we were inseparable, and that fall I went to college across the country from him. And yet those years we were apart brought us closer than ever.
I sat on my bed, flipping though the weathered pages until I reached the last page, filled with pictures of our last six months together. He was terribly ill for those months, although he tried to hide it from me the best he could. The day I lost him was a dark day.
He had been in the hospital again, and I had gone home that night to get some sleep and bring him some new clothes, and Madeline and Jacob had stayed with him. I walked into the hospital that morning, glad to be out of the pouring, cold, rain that had started early that morning and I should have known it was an omen. Arriving in the waiting room, I was greeted by five tear-soaked faces of my children. Rachel leapt up upon seeing me and enveloped me in a tight hug, and I knew that he was gone. My heart shattered upon the thought and I pulled back from the hug and looked into her eyes and saw the heartbreak in her eyes, Rachel was always closest to her father. I looked around and saw Gracie and Jacob sitting next to each other whispering to each other, they were always so close when they were younger and still served today. I looked around and found Madeline talking on her cell phone to someone. She looked over at me and said her goodbyes to whoever was on the phone and closed the space between us in a few easy strides. Tears filled her eyes as she reached me and took my hands squeezing them gently.
"He wasn't in pain. The doctors assured me of that. He just went to sleep and then his heart just stopped. I know he was thinking of you, he had a smile on his face and was in a good mood right before he fell asleep." She explained, tears streaming down her face as she pulled me into a hug.
I don't know that I cried right away. The tears came later, and they were unstoppable once they did come. I was so stunned that he was gone. I knew that his time was coming; I just didn't want to believe that it was coming so soon. I had had almost sixty years with him, and every moment of it was amazing. I didn't know what to do, standing there with a dripping umbrella in the middle of a hospital waiting room. Matthew guided me to a chair and helped me to sit down, and as I gazed out the window at the heaviest downpour we had had in years I knew that the earth was mourning such an amazing loss to this world. I had loved him for so many years and it was so hard to fathom a life without him by my side.
I had lost him six years ago, and since then our children had become increasingly worried about me. Everyday, without fail at least one of them called or came by their childhood home to make sure I was ok. My life became mundane without him around to provide color into it, and I knew that I could only survive for so long without the other half of my soul, my entire life.
I lay back against the pillows of my bed, our bed, and I knew that I was growing weary. I knew that I could only live for so long without the other half of my soul, my life. Exhaustion swept over me and I knew that my life was coming to an end. But I knew that I had a happy life with someone who I loved so fully, and who loved me back just as much. I had a large family who I loved so fully, and raised to become wonderful mothers, wives, fathers, and husbands of their own. As my eyes slowly closed I knew that I would be with my lover once again, forever.