Another day starts with a frigidly cold shower, a broken coffee pot, and the fear of being late AGAIN. I walk straight into the cafe as I arrive, unbuttoning the black flak jacket that I'm wearing so that a small amount of my grey v-neck shows through and going to get the cup of coffee that I am long overdue for.
Maura walks in close behind me while I'm fidgeting with the disposable coffee cup lid. "Good morning, Jane." She's wearing an aqua-colored button-up tucked into a black and white striped skirt. Her black cut off boots have a large stiletto on the back, so she is practically my height. I find myself staring at the unbuttoned area of her blouse, my throat going dry as I realize that I probably look incredibly awkward. She's so gorgeous.
I clear my throat before responding. "Hey Maur..." I finally get my lid securely on the top of my cup.
She smiles brightly while pouring her own cup of coffee, briefly extending her hand to squeeze my forearm. "I love it when you call me that." Her statement acts as an encouragement for me to continue using this abbreviation of her name that is known only by me.
I don't know exactly how to respond to that, my cheeks flushing slightly. What's wrong with you, Rizzoli? I sigh internally, knowing exactly what I want to say. I love being around you. I falter yet again on what to say, but luckily enough for me, Maura speaks once more. "Why don't we go out together for lunch today? We hardly ever take the entire hour." She turns to look at me, so I turn towards her as well.
"Of course...I mean, s-sounds great." I take a sip from my coffee awkwardly after smiling at her, and I wonder if she realizes the affect she has on me.
"Fantastic...It's a date." She squeezes my free hand gently with hers before walking past me to go down to the forensics lab. If only it was the kind of date that I truly want.
I cannot press the elevator button fast enough. You have never sounded more like a senseless cyborg than just now...Great job, Poindexter. I step into the elevator and let out a sigh of relief when the doors close behind me. Well, at least I got what I was after...a date with Jane. Though it isn't the real kind of date that I was too sheepish to ask her out on, it is a step in the right direction for now. I simply need to be alone with her enough to tell her how I'm feeling...about her. I need to be honest with her or I'm going to go insane. How long have I been in love with her and just not realized it? I shake my head, not wanting to question my past observance level and instead wanting to think about how gorgeous my best friend is and how there has never been anyone in this world more perfect for me. I cannot wait for lunch, sitting down and getting to work while counting the minutes.
"Seriously, Maur? I thought you would prefer some snooty, high-class, membership-required to even have ice in your water type of place, not the Dirty Robber. I figured you just came here to please me." I open the door for her into the bar, letting her walk through before following.
"Well, Jane, I cannot lie: I've grown accustomed to it, but I suppose at first it was just to insure that you were enjoying yourself whenever we went out." We sit down in our usual booth across from each other and in a more secluded area of the pub. We go ahead and order our drinks, mine being a beer and hers water and white wine.
I respond once the waiter has left our table. "I always enjoy myself around you." I realize how the wording of what I said could be awkward, so I take a sip from my beer and fidget my thumbs on the table nervously.
The statement that I thought was a prime example of my inability to function properly around Maura and incredibly embarrassing seems to have a wondrous effect on Maura. She reaches her hand across the table and takes mine with it, stroking my knuckles gently while she responds. "And I with you, Jane..." She keeps speaking, though she maintains her grip on my hand. I'm holding hands in public with the Maura Isles. I can feel the blood rushing to my cheeks for the second time today as I look across at her, trying to stay calm. "Anyways, the reason that I wanted to go out today with you was mainly to talk...alone...about some things that have been on my mind lately.
"A-Alright. What's wrong? Did I do something?" I can feel my hand tightening around hers unintentionally, but she takes it as a sign of affection and reaches her other hand up to take mine as well.
"No, sweetie. Don't worry...I just think I need to be completely honest with you about some things..." She looks down at our hands knotted together (my other one had joined in as well) and 'gathers her bearings' before continuing on. I've never seen her so nervous...what does she need to tell me? I can feel her hands shaking slightly, causing me to squeeze them again. She finally continues. "Jane, I don't think that my feelings for you are strictly...platonic...I feel very partial to you physically and emotionally, and I think I've been trying to mask that as something that has sprang from our being best friends, but really it's something else altogether." I feel my jaw hanging down and my mouth wide open, but luckily Maura doesn't notice before I regain my wits and close it. "I want us to be...closer, Jane. Let this be me 'putting the ball in your court,' so to speak...I really hope this doesn't ruin our friendship, though, even if you are completely opposed to everything that I've suggested."
Words get stuck on the tip of my tongue as I look into her open and highly-vulnerable hazel eyes. This is the side of her that only I get to see...the side with her emotions, where her walls that she has built against the world are actually able to come down. "Maura..." I instinctively raise her hands up to my lips, kissing them both gently. Horribly enough, I don't get the chance to respond because I see Frost hurriedly making his way towards us. "We'll talk about this later" is all that I manage to squeak out before pulling my hands back so that Frost doesn't see. Maura looks disappointed, to say the least.
"Frost, can we not have just an hour to be alone? Sheesh." I finish drinking my beer, knowing that Frost is going to tell us we're needed at some new crime scene.
"Quit whining, De-tective and follow me. You too, Doc. Looks like Marino's men left us another fun surprise a few blocks over." Frost heads toward the door and waits there for us as we get out coats and Maura gets her purse.
"Maur, this conversation is not over...I don't want you to feel that I'm leaving you hanging simply because of Frost being here ruining everything. When would you like to continue it?" I help her put her blazer on before slipping back into my jacket.
"You can spend the night tonight at my house. I really don't want to wait any more time before we talk about this, okay?" Her eyes look very downcast, and I assume it's because of how exposed she has allowed herself to be. I don't even think about it as I wrap an arm around her waist and walk her to the front door where Frost is, whispering that everything is going to be okay before he is within earshot.
"Ready to go? I figured we could all just ride in my car since it's so close." Frost states while hanging up on the crime techs who are impatiently awaiting our arrival.
"Sounds good." Frost heads outside first with us following behind him.
Maura's heel gets caught in the pavement, holding us up as I try to help her and prevent her from falling. We don't hear when Frost calls out our name the first time, nor the second. Once I finally help her to get unstuck, we both are aware of the third time he calls out our names, but we still don't turn our heads. Not until we hear the gunshot echo and the sound of his body crashing down to the ground.