ONE-SHOT
This is a plot bunny that has been annoyingly gnawing at my head and eating my socks when I'm not looking.
I wish I owned Naruto, but alas I do not.
The Fourth Shinobi War took its toll on everyone in different ways, some subtle, some extreme. Naruto wished he could say all of his precious people had not been deeply affected by this war. But when it finally did end, he wished she had never been involved in it. That no matter how renowned her talents were at such a young age, that she had stayed hidden and away from the frontlines of one of the bloodiest wars to date.
He just wanted his Sakura-chan to smile again.
The rebuilding of Konoha was put on hold after almost all available shinobi were sent off to fight in the war, but now that they returned home, rebuilding commenced. For at least a week after he returned home, Naruto searched high and low throughout the village for his most important person. He wanted to make sure she was okay and in perfect health and swore if she had so much as a scratch on her he would start the war right back up against who ever hurt her. He would wait at the hospital tent camp to see if he could catch her but someone would say he just missed her and that she was on her way to the Hokage's tower. He would wait there and someone would point out that she left on a quick mission to retrieve medicinal supplies from an outside village.
It was a game of tag for a week and Naruto gave up. He felt more productive helping in the construction of the village he would one day lead and came to the consensus that if Sakura wanted to be found or check up on him, she would. So it came as a shock when Naruto stopped by the makeshift Ichiraku Ramen stand and saw Sakura sitting alone and messing with a bowl of ramen that looked mostly untouched. She usually took every precaution to avoid the place.
"Sakura-chan! I've been looking every where for you ever since we came back to the village! I would wait at the hospital tents and then get pointed in like a million different directions when I asked around for you and to find out you got sent out of the village right when we got back was the craziest part and… Um.. Sakura-chan? Are you feeling okay?"
She hadn't lifted her eyes from the bowl of ramen that was steadily getting colder, which Naruto would have thought a sin. Naruto could only worry as her gaze became more and more empty and it took a shake of her shoulder to snap her out of it.
"Naruto! You almost knocked me off the stool! What's the big deal?"
"I'm sorry Sakura-chan. It's just that I was trying to talk to you and you looked really out of it and didn't even hear me! Is something bothering you?"
Only someone like Naruto who took in every detail of Sakura's into memory would notice the minute things he noticed that instance. Her face seemed less lively, the emerald in her eyes slightly more dull, her personality gone. He attributed it to the apocalyptic events they had just lived through. She quickly glanced back down towards the counter and gave a quick "No, I'm fine. If you'll excuse me I have patients that need tending to at the hospital tents."
She left her money on the counter and disappeared as quick as the wind into the crowds. "Well it was nice to see you too Sakura-chan" said Naruto. He ordered and ate in silence, a first for Uzumaki Naruto and even shocked Teuchi and Ayame. He contemplated what could possibly be bothering his teammate and in his moment of reverie figured if anyone could help him with Sakura, who else but Tsunade baa-chan would know what to do!
"Shizune sempai! I need clean gauze and coagulants, stat! This patient is bleeding out again!"
Sakura was in a mad fury trying to get everything together to help the returned shinobi before her. He had suffered multiple, very deep puncture wounds to the torso and how he survived the trip home until now was a miracle in itself. But even with all the chakra treatments and medical treatments to heal internal injuries, clear infections and bring his immune system back to full strength, and heal external injuries as well, she was at her limit of what she could do for him.
The team applied pressure to the gaping wounds on his body but they couldn't keep up with the blood loss. Five minutes into the ordeal, with more and more blood escaping and Sakura doing everything she could to heal him without over whelming him with her foreign chakra, the patient was slowly but surely being lost. Another two minutes and Shizune was calling the time of death.
Shizune got up from where she was kneeling over the body and approached Sakura who was standing at the entrance of the tent staring out into space. "I'm so sorry Sakura but you did everything you could. Don't take it too personally, okay? You'll only destroy yourself if you do with every patient lost."
The younger medic met the older one's gaze and said in a barely audible voice, "It's because of me that that man isn't going to be able to say 'I love you' to his family anymore. It's because of me that he'll never be able to serve with his comrades anymore or smile or laugh with friends. It's because of me that he's dead." And with that said, Sakura turned and left.
As she walked down the make shift dirt road that lead from the hospital tents to the developing village, she could only see the black in everything. She walked past the newly established graveyard and saw families grieving for a son or daughter that died for a belief so foreign to them. Children laying flowers and candles on markers and whispering their 'I miss you's' to their parents who were supposed to come back home.
She walked past the apartments and clan complexes still in different phases of construction and thought of how all the originals, with family history and heirlooms irreplaceable, are gone forever because she couldn't do her part to keep her village safe from Pein.
As a result, row upon row of tents were set up as temporary residences until the construction workers and the ever exhausted Yamato could keep up and finish all that needs to be built.
With the village in such disarray, Tsunade could hardly find a minute to herself to simply sit and clear her mind, but when they did manage to find their way to her, she treasured them dearly and there was a price to be paid for anyone who interrupted. She sat in silence, soaking in the tranquility of it all when an obnoxious 'BAM! BAM! BAM! TSUNADE BAA-CHAN!' rang on her door.
Already feeling the headache from his visits, she reluctantly let Naruto in her office. "What can I help with today that you can't possibly do for yourself, brat?" said Tsunade, still turned away from him. "Baa-can, something is wrong with Sakura-chan and I was hoping you would know what was wrong with her. Maybe she's sick or something so I came to ask you for help!"
Tsunade didn't reply right away because she already knew what was wrong with Sakura. She had already witnessed the changes in her apprentice first hand when she first returned last week that the war veteran in her knew EXACTLY what was wrong with her.
"Naruto… would you go as far to say that your comrades have changed after this war you all have fought?"
The blonde looked puzzled as he thought for a second. "Hmm… well. I noticed some people have gotten a lot stronger! The people I would least expect! And on the march home, others talked about how they're more grateful for the lives they have and how they won't take their families or spouses or children for granted anymore. So yeah, I guess you can say that my comrades have changed. This war has changed everyone for the better!" Naruto gave one of his signature grins, pretty proud of the answer he gave.
"You're correct. But only partially. The war has indeed made people change their way of thinking for the better but not everyone has been affected positively Naruto." Tsunade sighed as she turned around in her chair to face the young shinobi before her. "Naruto, this war has brought more devastation across the map than anything we could have imagined. Not everyone is going to be all smiles about it. I can say from experience in my long life that war, particularly from a very young medic's point of view, is nothing short of a nightmare."
"What do you mean Tsunade baa-chan? This is Sakura-chan we're talking about! Nothing can ever hurt her!" Naruto's face fell when thinking about what Sakura might have seen on the field, let alone everyone else. Naruto's battles in the war were not like everyone else's. He wasn't a part of a battalion, where one second you were surrounded by fellow shinobi and the next, everyone being cut down left and right all around you. His battles consisted of only himself and his opponent, alone on the battle field with no one to worry about, until the victor emerged. He could only imagine the horrible sights his fellow shinobi experienced in their part of the war, especially Sakura.
"What can I do to help her, Tsunade baa-chan? No one should go through that."
"She's suffering from guilt. She feels she is inadequate and lost faith in herself. I need you to do whatever necessary for her to not carry everything on her shoulders, that there is still some good to come out of what has happened and what has been lost. Can you do that for me?"
Naruto gave a solemn smile as he nodded. "I'll do my best! But how do you know so much about this?"
Tsunade could only give a solemn smile in return. "I went through the exact same thing during the Second Shinobi War. Having lost everything that I did, I felt the same things Sakura is feeling now. I wanted nothing more than for someone to convince me to believe in myself again, to tell me it's all right but I closed myself off to the world before anyone could. Not even Jiraiya could help me. That's why you above anyone else Naruto, her closest friend, needs to help Sakura. Before she makes the same mistakes I did."
As Naruto left the Hokage's office, he already had the perfect thing in mind.
The next evening, Naruto prepared to execute his plan to help save Sakura from herself. He waited outside the hospital tents and waited for her to emerge. The spring air was calm and sweet and with not a cloud in sight, the blonde could not have asked for a better night for his plan. He took a seat on a nearby bench and watched as nurses and medics were walking from tent to tent on their rounds, making sure patients were well prepared and able to get through the night, but in all the rounds made, no Sakura was spotted. A few minutes easily turned into an hour wait when finally, the pink haired medic emerged from one of the tents closest to Naruto. She said her good-byes and good nights on her way out of the camp when she was stopped by her teammate.
"Sakura-chan, I know something is bothering you. We didn't exactly have the greatest reunion the other day at Ichiraku's so how about we have a re-do?" He smiled anxiously, hoping she would say yes and everything would fall into place.
Cerulean eyes met fading emerald eyes, his offer met with a concise, "Thank you, but I'd much rather sleep right now. I've got a lot of patients to look after tomorrow, including two surgeries. I need all the rest I can get." But before Sakura could walk around Naruto in an effort to head home, she was stopped by a strong hand on her shoulder, something that made her feel so vulnerable yet so safe at the same time. "Sakura-chan, please. I've noticed something has changed in you since we've returned and if you need to talk something out, then please talk it out with me. I don't like seeing you like this and you're not being honest if you say that there isn't anything bothering you."
The pinkette could only look at the ground for a second and look back up at Naruto not with a look of understanding and appreciation like he expected but hurt and anger. "If you think for a second that I'm going to spill my guts to you when there's nothing even wrong with me, think again! I don't like feeling vulnerable and helpless, something I've felt for the past year out on the frontlines, and I don't want to feel like that anymore Naruto. So please, just let me go already." Not even as Sakura took three steps away, her teammate stopped her with an odd question.
"Sakura-chan, what does the sky look like to you?"
"What are you talking about? If this is your way of asking if I'm crazy I have every right mind to-"
"When you look up, do you see the stars?"
The pinkette could only look up slowly, and to her expectation, nothing. Her emerald eyes could not make out a single star in the night sky and so, with a sigh she replied "No Naruto. There aren't any stars out right now. Are we done here?"
"Not exactly. Come with me. I have something I want to show you outside the village not too far from here." Naruto offered his hand with the intent of her taking it. "Please? It won't take long. I promise!"
"Naruto, I have to - . There's so many things to do tomorrow and - . With the surgeries - . Ugh! Fine, I'll go but no more than an hour! Deal?"
Naruto gave her a big, reassuring smile. "Deal! Now c'mon! It takes at least fifteen minutes to hike there!" Sakura's face dropped at that piece of information. "Hike? Naruto!" But her yells fell on deaf ears as she ran after him to catch up and not lose sight of him in the dense Konoha forests surrounding their village. Sakura could only be excited for the fact that a full moon and cloudless night was upon them in the forest. At the height and speed they were trekking through the trees, one misstep and a pretty serious injury could befall them. Despite living in the hidden village her whole life, Sakura did not recognize the area Naruto was taking them through. There were no familiar land marks and this began to worry her.
"Naruto, are you sure we're not lost? I don't recognize this place and the last thing we need is to be ambushed right now!"
Naruto looked back and reassured his teammate that all was well. "We're almost there Sakura-chan! Just over this ridge and we'll be at my favorite spot that I discovered when I was younger!" Sakura could only guess at what this spot could entail, a spot he had never mentioned before to her or any one else for that matter. Naruto came to an abrupt stop with Sakura close behind. "We're here but I need you to do something for me."
Sakura showed apprehension at the request. "Naruto, if this is a weird perverted trick you're trying to pull on me, I'm going to pummel you into next week!" she huffed as she crossed her arms, her face full of serious intent.
"Nothing like that at all! I promise! All I need you to do is close your eyes while I lead you to the spot, that's all!" And just as Sakura's expression was serious and honest, so was Naruto's. And Sakura had observed over the years, if Naruto is serious, he's being honest. And so she closed her eyes and offered her hand to be lead into the clearing as they jumped down from the branches of the trees.
With her shinobi training from the academy, the pinkette used her available senses as she was blinded by her teammate to make out the territory. The smell of wet dirt and the sound of water hitting the banks told her they were near a lake, but the sound of water hitting land and the sound of the trees and leaves rustling growing farther and farther away told her they were walking into the lake, most likely on a shoal out on the water.
The blonde stopped, took in a deep breath through his nose as if the smell of the open air was intoxicating and told his teammate to take a seat next to him. She did as was told but grew nervous as to what was going to happen next. "I swear Naruto, if you push me into the lake or river or wherever the heck we are, that offer to pummel you into next week is still up in the air!" Naruto only gave a nervous chuckle at the thought. "I wouldn't do that to you Sakura-chan! But I do have to ask you that when you open your eyes, I want you to look at the sky. Remember what the sky looked like, YOUR sky looked like back in Konoha. Inside your bubble, you only see what you allow your self to see. But if you take a step back and let your self see what's past the layer of ugliness or doubt or hate, or even the empty black sky, you can see the positive in things. Like the night sky in front of you Sakura-chan."
Sakura slowly opened her eyes as she tilted her head to face the sky. She could only stare, breathless at the scene before her. There was not a single space in the vast darkness of the sky that wasn't covered in glittering, shimmering stars. What was once dull and empty back at home, was a luminous and endless canvas of the cosmos. Centered in the sky was a belt of condensed stars that gave a purple glow to the sky, adding to the beauty of the clear night sky. Sakura could only stare in awe in wonder. Out of all the trips and missions that she had been on, she never once looked at the sky at night when it was time to camp, a task so small and trivial and so taken for granted.
"Naruto, it's beautiful! And they way the sky reflects on the water! It makes it seem like were floating in the sky!" She chuckled at the way she sounded so childish, as if she had never seen the sky before. "Why doesn't the sky look like this back at home? When you asked me what the sky looked like back at the hospital, it looked… empty, no stars, no life, and no beauty. Just… empty."
Not taking his gaze off the sky for a second, Naruto replied "I asked Ero-sennin the same thing on one of our trips a few years back. He said it's called light pollution."
"Light pollution? What's that?" replied Sakura, not taking her gaze off the sky for a second either.
"Light pollution is kind of like the light from the village getting in the way of the view of the sky. If there are too many buildings with bright lights or streetlamps, you can't see the sky in the village the way we're seeing it outside of the village. Well, that's how Jiraiya explained it too me at least. And him teaching me about this was his way of also teaching me about myself. If I had stayed only to myself, inside my 'village' of hate and jealousy of the way people treated me when I was growing up, I could never see life for what it truly is and the potential I had with mine. The hate and jealousy would always be blocking the view forward. But I've changed Sakura-chan. I've stepped outside of what I used to be and because of it, I see everything differently!"
"Sakura-chan, we all just went through something very traumatic. I understand what you're feeling but don't let it consume you! You have so much potential and such a big vast sky ahead of you that if you continue to let the guilt and doubt cloud over you, you're going to lose sight of that sky. I know it's hard but-"
"Of course it's hard Naruto! But what do you know about it?" snapped Sakura as she stood up angrily. Something had broken within her. How dare he try to pretend to know what she's feeling? He wasn't even there!
"You weren't the one on the frontlines fighting the battles and having everyone around cut down. You weren't the one having to literally piece people back together or your hand halfway into someone trying to stop the bleeding. You weren't the one to see hundreds of people die and their blood is on YOUR hands. No matter how many times I scrub my hands it doesn't come off. So many lives lost because of ME! Because I couldn't do my job as a medic! What good is it to bring a fish back to life in training exercises with Tsunade-sama but I couldn't do anything for a real human being when it really counted? I failed Naruto, and I deserved to let the guilt and doubt eat me alive! So many people aren't alive because of me!"
At this point, Sakura lost all control. Her cheeks were soaked in angry tears. Her face was flushed and sobs came hard into her hands that covered her mouth. She was prepared to turn around and make a mad dash back to the village, where she could walk past a graveyard everyday to work as a constant reminder, where she didn't have to see the stars she didn't deserve to see, not when countless others who died in her arms couldn't look at the sky themselves anymore. As she turned to run, two strong arms wrapped around her shoulders and pulled her towards a strong chest. And she fought with all her might not to be pulled in. Scratches, punches, kicks, anything to get away. But Naruto would not let her go. Not when she needed someone terribly, but wouldn't allow herself to be needed.
Sakura had finally calmed down and in exhaustion, let her legs give way and brought Naruto down with her. They stayed in that embrace for a while, Naruto letting months worth of tears soak his shirt and Sakura letting months worth of pent up emotion go.
"Naruto," said Sakura as she broke the silence, looking up to her teammate. "Thank you."
Naruto could give her a sincere smile and hold her closer. "For what?"
"For being my friend. For caring."
Naruto could not help but notice the pinkette's appearance at this moment in time. Her eyes were blood shot from crying, but they were full of life again. Her face was flushed and streaked with tears, but she looked alive again. He couldn't help but think she looked more beautiful than ever.
"Sakura-chan, just as I made a promise to you when we were younger, I need you to make a promise for me, as an adult. I want you to promise me that you're not going to let the pain cloud your sky. I need you to promise me that you're going to look up at the night sky whenever you're on a mission outside the village and for every star that's up there, you're going to accomplish something great in your lifetime. That you're going to step outside of the darkness and see things in a different light. The shinobi you tried to save are not a ghost to haunt you but stars to remind you that you still have so much to learn and live for. That they didn't die in vain, but so that you could continue to live and protect the village and way of life we have today. Look past the negativity. Promise me?"
The pinkette sniffled here and there as she contemplated what he had just asked of her. Looking back at the sky she said "Did you know I was planning to run? I wanted to run and disappear so badly. Kind of like Tsunade-sama. If the world's most renowned medic couldn't have handled it, what made me any different? I was actually planning to disappear tonight Naruto. But you showing me this and that I was losing sight of, what I was becoming and the dark person I could have been. But yes, I promise that I won't let my life end here. I won't let the hurt and the guilt get in the way of who I should and look past the negativity in front of me. I promise."
They continued to sit embraced in the middle of the lake for one more hour until Naruto suggested they head back to the village before it got any later. As they neared the village and headed in the direction of the residential district, Sakura looked up at the sky. Little by little, the stars, the shimmering jewels in the sky began to dim out, the effect of being in a very populated village that polluted the sky with too much light. When they arrived to the residential district, goodnight's and thank you's were said between the blonde and the pinkette before parting ways to their respective living quarters but before entering her make shift apartment, Sakura took one last glance at the sky.
In the middle of the sky, was a single bright star, shining through were Sakura had sworn she saw no stars before. She smiled and entered her apartment. It was a good sign.
R&R kthanx! :)